A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast

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1. Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn’t have change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base’s corridor floors, and asked him, “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?” Private Duncan replied, “Sure.” The Corporal turned red. He said, “That’s no way to address a superior officer! Now let’s […]...
2. Touring Washington A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, “Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?” The officer replied, “Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. […]...
3. A policeman was patrolling near midnight A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He […]...
4. Requesting a three day pass An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says “Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!” So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO […]...
5. The answer to the eternal question A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when […]...
6. Charged for speeding A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away […]...
7. Перевод слова superior Superior – высший, лучший, превосходный Перевод слова Superior intellect – высокий интеллект superior air – выражение превосходства superior smile – надменная улыбка superior limbs – верхние конечности, руки Your computer is far Superior to mine. Ваш компьютер намного превосходит мой. He says he obeys Superior orders. Он говорит, что подчиняется приказам “сверху”. No one is […]...
8. They are stopped by the police John & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away.” Just […]...
9. Значение идиомы take a shot at [take a shot at] {v. phr.} To try casually; attempt to do. “Canyou handle all these new book orders?” Tom asked. “I haven’t done itbefore,” Sally replied, “but I can sure take a shot at it.”...
10. Civil War Era humor Civil War Era Humor The following are supposedly true definitions, stories, and terms relating to the Civil War. BIGGEST MAN… The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent […]...
11. Значение идиомы long shot [long shot] {n.} 1. A bet or other risk taken though not likely tosucceed. The horse was a long shot, but it came in and paid well. Jones was a long shot for mayor. The business long shot thatsucceeds often pays extremely well. 2. See: BY A LONG SHOT....
12. Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?” She replied, “no sir!” So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, “Did you like that?” “Oh, indeed I did, […]...
13. A police officer came upon a terrible wreck A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said “I wish you could talk.” The monkey looked up at […]...
14. There was a drunk man walking down the street turning There was a drunk man walking down the street turning his car keys back and forth. A policeman came up to him and asked, “Sir, what are you doing?” The drunk replied, “I am looking for my car, the last time I saw it, it was on the end of these keys.” The police officer […]...
15. The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting with The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting with her young charges and she asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up. A twelve-year-old said, “I want to be a prostitute.” The Mother Superior fainted dead away on the spot. When they revived her, she raised her head from the ground […]...
16. A girl called the police department and reported that A girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, “When did this happen?” She replied, “Last week.” The police then asked, “Why did you wait until now to report it?” Well,” she said. “I didn’t know that I was assaulted until the check bounced.”...
17. Getting Access to Restricted Areas Security officer: Excuse me, sir, but this is a Restricted area. Only Authorized personnel are Permitted. Carl: I just want to take a quick look. Is this really where the president will be speaking? Security officer: I can Neither confirm nor deny that, sir. Please step aside. Carl: What if I have Press credentials? Could […]...
18. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Между полицейским и гражданином (Between Police Officer And Citizen)” По-английски Перевод на русский I I Police officer: Good afternoon, sir. Is this your car? Полицейский: Добрый день, сэр. Это ваша машина? Citizen: Hello. Yes, it is. Is there a problem? Гражданин: Здравствуйте, да моя. А что какие-то проблемы? Police officer: Not really. However, we are looking for the car similar to yours, which has […]...
19. Перевод слова soldier Soldier – солдат, рядовой, военнослужащий Перевод слова The Unknown Soldier – неизвестный солдат a soldier defects – солдат дезертирует seasoned soldier – закаленный боец The Soldier had a weekend pass. Солдат получил увольнительную на выходные. That Soldier really lacked “solids”. Тому солдату действительно не хватало твердости характера. He is framed to be a Soldier. Он […]...
20. Slight confusion One night a police officer named Mike was working the grave-yard shift and he drove to his house around 3 A. M. in the morning. He opened the door to the bedroom quietly and took off his clothes in the dark, and got in bed with his wife. Then she said,”Honey, can you go over […]...
21. Перевод слова citizen Citizen – гражданин, гражданка, горожанин, горожанка Перевод слова Fellow citizens – сограждане to become a citizen – получить гражданство native-born citizen – уроженец He is a French Citizen by birth. Он гражданин Франции по рождению. This impinges on my rights as a Citizen. Это ущемляет мои гражданские права. In a democracy, every Citizen should have […]...
22. Blonde on blonde A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. “What does it look like?” she finally […]...
23. A rural Frenchman was on trial A rural Frenchman was on trial for killing his wife when he found her with a neighbor. Upon being asked why he shot her instead of her lover, he replied, “Ah, m’sieur, is it not better to shoot a woman once than a different man every week?”...
24. There was a man and woman traveling along in their car There was a man and woman traveling along in their car. The man was driving when a police officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the window and says “Did you know you were speeding back there.” The lady (who is almost deaf) said to her husband “What did he say, what did […]...
25. The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue. “Can I see your license and registration, bub?”, the cop inquired. “But officer,” the fellow started, “I can explain…” “Shut yer trap, bub!” snapped the officer. “You’re going downtown and sit a while till the sarge gets back.” “But, officer, I think […]...
26. A woman reported the disappearance of her husband A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy’s photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him. “Yes, please” she replied. “Tell him Mother didn’t come after all.”...
27. An old lady lived by herself in a small house An old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he […]...
28. This guy was driving down the highway This guy was driving down the highway and was pulled over by the cops. The cop asked the man for his name and the guy replied, “Earl.” “You got a last name, Earl?” “Nope. It’s a long story, Officer.” “I got time.” Earl sighs and says, “Well, Officer, at first I was known as Earl […]...
29. He’s drunk at the bar One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his […]...
30. A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to “The Unknown Soldier”. At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: “Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg”. The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name. The resident replied, “As a soldier, that […]...
31. Перевод слова risk Risk – опасность, риск, рисковать Перевод слова That policy is now at risk – эта политика находится сейчас под угрозой commercial risk – коммерческий риск decision under risk – решение с учетом риска Why Risk your life? Зачем рисковать своей жизнью? It’s not worth the Risk. Это не стоит риска. Let’s minimize the Risk. Давайте […]...
32. I have a question A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float? The father replied, “Don’t rightly know son.” A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, “How do fish […]...
33. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]...
34. Значение идиомы chance it [chance it] {v. phr.} To be willing to risk an action whose outcome is uncertain. “Should we take the boat out in such stormy weather?” Jim asked. “We can chance it,” Tony replied. “We have enough experience.”...
35. This fellow comes to confession This fellow comes to confession. “Father, he said, forgive me for I have sinned.” The priest asked, “What did you do, my son?” “I lusted,” the fellow replied. “Tell me about it,” the priest said. The fellow then related his story. “Father, I am a deliveryman for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in […]...
36. There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked “Could I have a fucket please?” The assistant asked”Pardon sir?”. “Can I have a fucket please?” Replied the man. […]...
37. Another ethnic joke A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, “What a Pollack.” The Polish man said, “I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew.” […]...
38. Значение идиомы run a risk [run a risk] or [take a risk] {v. phr.} To be open to danger orloss; put yourself in danger; be unprotected. A baseball umpirewears a mask and chest protector so he won’t run the risk of being hitby the ball. Billy takes a risk of being hit by a car when he runsinto the street […]...
39. A man went to the doctor for a check up A man went to the doctor for a check up. “How do you feel?” asked the doctor. “Fine.” he replied. After a few more general health questions the doctor asked, “How many times do you have sex per month?” “About two or three.” the man replied. “You should be doing better than that.” the doctor […]...
40. Перевод слова officer Officer – офицер, чиновник, должностное лицо Перевод слова Assistant officer – помощник должностного лица customs officer – таможенный чиновник non-combatant officer – офицер запаса flying control officer – диспетчер полетов The police Officer was directing traffic. Полицейский регулировал движение транспорта. No Officer was touched. Ни один офицер не был ранен. He is an Officer of […]...