A rural Frenchman was on trial

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1. A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. “Last night I made love to my wife four times,” the Frenchman bragged, “and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored […]...
2. The Frenchman and the Italian The Frenchman and the Italian were in the woods hunting together when suddenly a voluptuous blonde girl raced across their path, totally nude. “Would I love to eat that? Oui, oui!” the Frenchman said, smacking his lips. So the Italian shot her....
3. Перевод слова rural Rural – деревенский, сельский Перевод слова Rural scenery – сельский пейзаж rural customs – деревенские обычаи rural economy – сельское хозяйство She lives in a Rural area. Она живет в сельской местности. It’s very Rural round here, isn’t it? Здесь очень деревенская атмосфера, не так ли? Migrated women were mostly from Rural areas. Женщины прибывали […]...
4. Значение идиомы on trial [on trial] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. For testing or trying out for atime before making a decision. I was lucky that I had bought themachine on trial because I didn’t like it and was able to return it. Mother bought a new dishwasher on trial and was trying it outbefore deciding whether to keep […]...
5. Перевод слова trial Trial – испытание, проба, пробный; суд Перевод слова A blind clinical trial – клиническое испытание trial run – испытательный пробег trial period – испытательный срок state trial – суд над государственным преступником Her Trial will be public. Судебное разбирательство по ее делу будет открытым. He was on Trial for murder. Его судили за убийство. I […]...
6. Armando asks Armando went to his neighbor and asked, “Hey Carlos, do you like a woman who has a beeg stomach steeking oll the way out?” “No,” says Carlos. Armando asks, “Do you like a woman whose teets hang almost to her knees?” “No,” says Carlos. “Well, Carlos, would you like a woman whose heeps are so […]...
7. Значение идиомы trial and error [trial and error] {n.} A way of solving problems by tryingdifferent possible solutions until you find one that works. Johnfound the short circuit by trial and error. The only way Tom couldsolve the algebra problem was by the method of trial and error....
8. Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer: In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand – a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes I do know […]...
9. Значение идиомы trial balloon [trial balloon] {n.} A hint about a plan of action that is givenout to find out what people will say. John mentioned the classpresidency to Bill as a trial balloon to see if Bill might beinterested in running. The editorial was a trial balloon to testthe public’s reaction to a change in the school day....
10. Значение идиомы shoot up [shoot up] {v.} 1. To grow quickly. Billy had always been asmall boy, but when he was thirteen years old he began to shoot up. 2. To arise suddenly. As we watched, flames shot up from the roofof the barn. 3. {informal} To shoot or shoot at recklessly; shoot andhurt badly. The cowboys got drunk […]...
11. Flies A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” She asked. “Hunting Flies” He responded. “Oh. Killing any?” She asked. “Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell?” He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were […]...
12. One night, an 87-year-old woman One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say to […]...
13. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]...
14. Missing person Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man. The wife said, “He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is […]...
15. Перевод идиомы trial balloon, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: trial balloon Перевод: пробный шар; что-либо, направленное на проверку чей-либо реакции Пример: If you want to know public opinion, send up a trial balloon and listen to what they say. Если хочешь узнать общественное мнение, запусти пробный шар, и послушай, что будут говорить....
16. Перевод идиомы trial by fire, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: trial by fire Перевод: испытание огнем; проверка чьих-либо способностей, особенно в сложных условиях Пример: Finishing this huge list of chores in time for the wedding is really a trial by fire. Успеть закончить этот огромный список заданий к свадьбе – настоящее испытание огнем....
17. Two drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting Two drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life. One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half way thru a fence, with its butt facing the tavern. One drunk says he sure wishes that sheep were Marilyn Monroe. The other says, “I just […]...
18. Marriage quotes 11 My other wife is beautiful. My wife doesn’t care what I do away from home, as long as I don’t enjoy it. My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! My wife says if I go fishing one […]...
19. At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women: Defendant: “Your Honor, I wish to change my plea.” Judge: “Is someone using undue influence to prompt you to change your mind?” Defendant: “No sir, when I pleaded Not Guilty I didn’t know there would be women on the jury. Since […]...
20. Participating in a Clinical Trial Lucinda: You look tired. Are you all right? Elan: I’m fine. It’s this Clinical trial I’m Enrolled in. I’m Suffering from some Side effects. Lucinda: Are they serious? Elan: No, they’re not too bad. I was told to expect some Adverse reactions in the first weeks of the Pilot study. I guess that’s why only […]...
21. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do […]...
22. One day Mongo is in his back yard digging a hole One day Mongo is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decides to investigate. “Whatcha doin?” he asked. Mongo replies, “My goldfish died and I’m burying him.” “That’s an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain’t it?” asked the neighbor. Mongo shot back, “That’s because he’s inside your fuckin’ cat!’...
23. Перевод слова lover Lover – любовник, любитель Перевод слова Impetuous lover – пылкий любовник lover of the antique – любитель античности to take a lover – завести любовника to jilt a lover – бросить любовника The woman gave up her Lover to save her marriage. Женщина порвала с любовником ради сохранения брака. An affectionate Lover of venerable antiquity. […]...
24. As US tourists in Israel As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the […]...
25. The local courtroom was packed as testimony began The local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee. The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for him trying to make his client appear more sympathetic to the Judge, especially since she had been […]...
26. A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, […]...
27. An Other one Three old guys are out walking. First one says, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’ Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer.’ A man was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s […]...
28. Значение идиомы shoot the breeze [shoot the breeze] or [bat the breeze] or [fan the breeze] or[shoot the bull] {v. phr.}, {slang} To talk. Jim shot the breezewith his neighbor while the children were playing. Come into thekitchen and we’ll bat the breeze over a cup of coffee. The womenwere shooting the breeze about Jim’s latest trouble with the police. […]...
29. A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, […]...
30. A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast Everybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot. However one citizen was shot at 9.45pm. “Why did you do that?” the soldier was asked by his superior officer. “I know where he lives,” he replied, “and he wouldn’t have made it.”...
31. Marriage quotes 03 There was a man who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married… and then it was too late!” Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. When a […]...
32. There were three men who were lost in the forest There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were then captured by cannibals. The cannibal king then told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. First step of the trial is to go to the forest with the cannibals and get ten pieces of the same kind of […]...
33. Значение идиомы take a shot at [take a shot at] {v. phr.} To try casually; attempt to do. “Canyou handle all these new book orders?” Tom asked. “I haven’t done itbefore,” Sally replied, “but I can sure take a shot at it.”...
34. Taking Pictures My nephew’s wedding is Coming up This Saturday, and I thought it would be nice to take some Candids for the Happy couple. My wife, who’s the Photographer in the family, wasn’t around today, so I decided to Strike out on my own and Head off to the camera shop. I love to shop for […]...
35. Значение идиомы shoot out [shoot out] {v.} 1. To fight with guns until one person or side iswounded or killed; settle a fight by shooting. – Used with “it”. The cornered bank robbers decided to shoot it out with the police. The moment she opened the door, the cat shot out and ran around thehouse. During the last half-minute […]...
36. A man was taking his wife A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, “Don’t worry, everybody […]...
37. Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. “So, how’s life been for you?” Ed asked. “Not too good,” Ted replied. “My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son’s in prison for […]...
38. Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?” She replied, “no sir!” So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, “Did you like that?” “Oh, indeed I did, […]...
39. This fellow comes to confession This fellow comes to confession. “Father, he said, forgive me for I have sinned.” The priest asked, “What did you do, my son?” “I lusted,” the fellow replied. “Tell me about it,” the priest said. The fellow then related his story. “Father, I am a deliveryman for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in […]...
40. A fair offer One day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the back yard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and trim his […]...