Visiting a Patient in the Hospital

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1. The aged patient doddered into The aged patient doddered into the doctor’s office with a serious complaint. “Doc, you’ve got to do something to lower my sex drive.” “Come on now Mr Peters,” the doctor said, “your sex drives all in your head.” “Thats what I mean, you’ve got to lower it a little.”...
2. Good news Hiram answers the telephone, and it’s an emergency room doctor. The doctor says, “Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will be on a respirator the rest of her life.” […]...
3. Finding a Roommate Carlos: Now that your boyfriend has moved out, you need a Roommate. There’s no way you can Afford this apartment on your own. Inez: I know, but I really don’t want to live with a Stranger. I’d have To put up with all of their Quirks. Carlos: I don’t think you have a choice. You […]...
4. Перевод слова dread Dread – ужас; бояться, страшиться Перевод слова Dread of light – светобоязнь to dread the coming winter – содрогаться при мысли о наступающей зиме I dread it is true – боюсь, что это правда She has a Dread of failure. Она боялась возможной неудачи. I Dread to think about what they might do next. Я […]...
5. Doctor-Patient Confidentiality Dr. Green: Can I Consult you on a case of Medical ethics? Dr. Hause: Sure, I’m not a lawyer, but I can give you my opinion as another doctor. Dr. Green: That’s what I’m looking for, your honest opinion. I have a Patient who has a medical condition that can be Spread to her family, […]...
6. Parts of a Hospital Jordan: Excuse me, my girlfriend was brought into the hospital about two hours ago, but I can’t find her. Admissions Clerk: Why was she brought into the hospital? Jordan: I’m not sure. I got a call from her coworker, but she didn’t give me any details. Admissions Clerk: If it weren’t an accident, then she […]...
7. The following statements were found on patient charts The following statements were found on patient’s charts during a recent review of medical records. These statements were written by various health care professionals including (we’re afraid) a doctor or two at several major hospitals: “The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.” “Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.” “The skin was moist […]...
8. An elderly patient needed a heart transplant An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, “We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd […]...
9. Getting a Second Opinion Greg: Where are you going? Anne: I’m going to see another doctor to get a Second opinion. My doctor Diagnosed me with a serious Medical condition and I don’t want To take it at face value. Greg: You’re Second-guessing your doctor? Anne: No, I just want to make sure he’s right. He’s also recommending a […]...
10. The bad news and the good news Harry answers the telephone, and it’s an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, “Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for […]...
11. Giving Birth in a Hospital It was 2 o’clock in the morning when my wife woke me up. She is eight-and-a-half months Pregnant and she told me that her Water had broken. She said that she was having Contractions and she was sure that she was In labor. I Paged our doctor and drove to the hospital. When we arrived, […]...
12. The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues. In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg’s physician comes into his room and says, “Sol, I’m happy […]...
13. Types of Views Andrea: Help me decide on which type of hotel room To book. George: I want the one with a bed. Andrea: Very funny. We have a choice of different views, and each one is a different price. For instance, a room with a City view is $175 a night and a Panoramic view is $275 […]...
14. A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She’s worried about the friend so she asks the doctor: Girlfriend: I’m worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ? Doctor: Well she’s 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been […]...
15. There was this man in a mental hospital There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. So the doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. […]...
16. A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in room 27. She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him No, the room is empty. “Good,” says the man. “That means I must have really escaped.”...
17. HEGS The Doctor tells his patient that he has H-E-G-S “What’s that?”, the patient asks. “It’s a combination of Herpes, Encephalitis, Gonorrhea and Syphyllis.” The patient wants to know if there’s a cure, to which the Doctor responds, “We have to keep you in a hospital room and feed you nothing but pancackes.” “Why only pancackes?”, […]...
18. An American tourist is visiting China An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide: “How large is the population here?” “Around 1.5 billion” – the guide answers American, After a short pause: “So, what else do you do here?”...
19. Serious desease A distraught patient phoned her doctor’s office. Was it true, the woman wanted to know, that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of her life? She was told that it was. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, “I’m wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This […]...
20. John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act. He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital as he is OK. […]...
21. Avoiding Topics in Conversation Lila: Why aren’t you dating? I have so many friends who would love to go out with you. George: Let’s Change the subject. Talking about my Love life isn’t very interesting. Lila: But really, you’re not getting any younger and… George: Moving on! Have you seen any good movies lately? Lila: Listen, all of your […]...
22. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Больница (Hospital)” По-английски Перевод на русский Mary: Mum, I’m not feeling well today. Мэри: Мам, я неважно чувствую себя сегодня. Mum: What’s the matter, dear? Мама: В чем дело, дорогая? Mary: I have a strong stomach ache and I feel nauseous. Мэри: У меня сильно болит живот и меня подташнивает. Mum: That’s not good. Let me check […]...
23. Перевод слова condition Condition – состояние, обстоятельства, условия Перевод слова Condition of the market – состояние рынка to accept a condition – принимать условие on condition that – при условии, что The car was in perfect Condition. Машина была в идеальном состоянии. I Condition my hair after washing it У привожу в порядок свои волосы после того как […]...
24. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “I’ll keep my fingers crossed” Peters Питерз Please have a seat. Пожалуйста, присаживайтесь. Albert Альберт Thank you. Спасибо. Peters Питерз I’m Mr. Peters. The personnel manager. What can I do for you? Я – мистер Питерз, начальник отдела кадров. Чем могу вам помочь? Albert Альберт I am looking for a position as a sales representative. Я бы хотел получить должность […]...
25. Посещение врача/ Visiting A Doctor На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Visiting A Doctor Посещение врача Health problems have always worried people. In ancient times when people didn’t have any medicine or doctors, they learned to treat ailments using various plants and herbs. Today everything is simplified. Whenever people catch cold, have allergies, suffer from headaches or back pains, […]...
26. George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC with his wife Laura. The waiter approaches the table and asks for his order. “I’ll have your biggest, juiciest London Broil,” answers the President. “But sir, what about the mad cow?!!” asks the waiter. “Oh,” answers Dubya, “she’ll order for herself.”...
27. Taking Care of Your Teeth Martha: Oh, I have a Toothache! George: It sounds like you’re In for a visit to the Dentist. Martha: That would be the Last resort. I hate going to the dentist. I don’t like needles and the sound of the Drill scares me to death. I’m hoping the toothache will just go away. George: You […]...
28. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “В гостинице” (At a Hotel) At a Hotel George: Good morning! Clerk: Good morning! What can I do for you? George: We need a double room and a single room for two nights. Clerk: Just a moment, please. Well, we have a double room with bath and a single room with shower. George: How much are these rooms? Clerk: The […]...
29. Перевод слова uncle Uncle – дядя Перевод слова To inherit a fortune from an uncle – получить наследство от дяди maternal uncle – дядя по линии матери to talk like a Dutch uncle – отечески наставлять, журить I have three Uncles and two aunts. У меня три дяди и две тети. My Uncle died a hero. Мой дядя […]...
30. Значение идиомы say uncle [say uncle] also [cry uncle] {v. phr.}, {informal} To say that yousurrender; admit that you have lost; admit a defeat; give up. Bobfought for five minutes, but he had to say uncle. The bullytwisted Jerry’s arm and said, “Cry uncle.” The other team wasbeating us, but we wouldn’t say uncle. Compare: GIVE IN....
31. Shopping with My Wife One thing I Dread more than anything else is going Clothes shopping with my wife. It’s not that I don’t like helping her buy new clothes. It’s just that I have no Fashion sense. My wife always asks me, “What do you think of this one?” and I always answer with something like: “That’s nice” […]...
32. Перевод идиомы say uncle / cry uncle, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: say uncle / cry uncle Идиома: say uncle / cry uncle Разг. Перевод: сдаваться, признавать поражение Пример: The little boy was forced to say uncle and do what the older boy wanted. Маленькому мальчику пришлось сдаться, и сделать то, что хотел взрослый мальчик....
33. Construction Worker Hides Waldo On Site For Kids In Hospital Next Door One man is helping kids find a little joy. Jason Haney, a construction foreman, hides a life-size cutout he made of Where’s Waldo on site every day for kids who are staying at a hospital next door to find. “It’s just for the kids to get their minds off of things,”Haney told The Huffington Post. […]...
34. Types of Allergies Bert: Doctor, Give it to me straight. Is my Medical condition serious? Doctor: I suspect that your Rashes and other symptoms are the result of Allergies. Bert: Allergies?! I thought I had some kind of serious Disease. Doctor: Allergies can be serious. I’m going to give you tests to see what you’re allergic to. Bert: […]...
35. Giving Bad News and Condolences I was at the hospital at with my friend, Wendy. Her father was in an accident and she was waiting to talk to the doctor. Doctor: Hello, I’m Dr. Johnson. How are you holding up? Wendy: Oh, I’m fine. Is there any news? Doctor: Yes. I have examined your father’s Test results and I’m afraid […]...
36. Stuck in a plane George Bushes, father Bush and son Bush, Bush, Jr., are on board a small two seater plane when suddenly George Senior, the pilot, parachutes out of the plane. Not knowing how to fly, National Guard Service or not, a plane George, Jr., grabs the radio. “Mayday, mayday! My Dad just jumped out of the plane!” […]...
37. Retiring Abroad Wanda: I just heard the news. You’re moving to McQuillanland? George: I am. I’ve decided To retire abroad. Wanda: Why? George: It makes a lot of sense for people with a Fixed income. Social Security will Only go so far here, but the Cost of living is much lower in other countries, including McQuillanland. I […]...
38. A folk remedy A man’s wife had been in a coma for several days following a particularly nasty knock on the head. As usual, one of the nurses in the hospital was giving her a wash in bed. As she washed down the woman’s body, she sponged her pubic hair. Out of the corner of her eye she […]...
39. Fixing an ailment In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They […]...
40. Значение идиомы on condition that [on condition that] {conj.} Providing that; if. I will lend youthe money on condition that you pay it back in one month. Sheagreed to act in the play on condition that she could keep hercostumes....