Top 9 Signs Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password

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1. Signs Technology Took Over Your Life1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty’s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write is ... Читать далее...
2. Chinese learned thisTime sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chiese lands. Top Ten Things The Chinese Have Learned By Examining Our ... Читать далее...
3. THE KITTYThe man with his son came to the zoo. The mother asks the son later: -Honey, what animal do you like best of all in the zoo? -The tiger! -and who does your father like best of all? -The kitty! -What Kitty? Are there any cats in the zoo? -No, but my father likes the ... Читать далее...
4. A guy meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him backA guy meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back to her place for the night. Her parents are out of town and this is the perfect opportunity. They get back to her house and they go into her bedroom. When the guy walks in the door, he notices all these ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова keyboardKeyboard — клавиатура Перевод слова Standard keyboard — стандартная клавиатура a keyboard player — музыкант-клавишник keyboard-entered command — команда подаваемая нажатием клавиш keyboard entry — ввод с клавиатуры This information was Keyboarded into a database. Эта информация была введена с клавиатуры в базу данных. If you boot up your system without the Keyboard being plugged ... Читать далее...
6. Значение идиомы kick over the traces[kick over the traces] also [jump the traces] {v. phr.} To breakthe rules; behave badly. When their teacher was absent and they hada substitute, the children kicked over the traces. Compare: ACT UP, CUT UP, LET LOOSE, OUT OF HAND, RAISE CAIN....
7. An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ftAn Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the mouse says: «Tail gunner to pilot…Tail gunner to pilot..» The eagle says «what ... Читать далее...
8. Three mice are sitting in a bar talkingThree mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, «I play with mouse traps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose and as it’s closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times.» And with ... Читать далее...
9. Describing Pleasant ScentsKitty: Oh, Smell that. Isn’t that Delectable? Pepe: Yes, it’s Pleasant. Kitty: Pleasant? It’s Heavenly. It has a nice Fruity scent, not too sweet. Pepe: If you say so. I don’t want to buy anything that has a strong Perfume smell. I’m a guy. Kitty: I know, but you want To exude a Sexy scent ... Читать далее...
10. Describing Pleasant ScentsKitty: Oh, Smell that. Isn’t that Delectable? Pepe: Yes, it’s Pleasant. Kitty: Pleasant? It’s Heavenly. It has a nice Fruity scent, not too sweet. Pepe: If you say so. I don’t want to buy anything that has a strong Perfume smell. I’m a guy. Kitty: I know, but you want To exude a Sexy scent ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы tooth[tooth] See: BY THE SKIN OF ONE’S TEETH, CUT TEETH or CUT EYETEETH, EYE FOR AN EYE AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH, FED TO THE GILLS or FED TO THETEETH, GET ONE’S TEETH INTO or SINK ONE’S TEETH INTO, KICK IN THEPANTS or KICK IN THE TEETH, PULL ONE’S TEETH, SET ONE’S TEETH ON ... Читать далее...
12. A mouse and a lion walk were in a barA mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in. «Get a load of her» said the mouse, «what a babe!» «Well, why not try your luck?» replied the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her. Within five minutes ... Читать далее...
13. Using a Computer KeyboardLeslie: This Keyboard is so hard to use. I can’t find where anything is! Dave: It’s a standard QWERTY keyboard. The Layout may be a little different, with the Function keys on the right-hand side instead of on the top, but you’ll get used to it in no time. Leslie: That’s what you think. I ... Читать далее...
14. Buying Computer AccessoriesGinger: It’s really nice of you to come with me to buy my computer. This is the Desktop I’m thinking about. Kevin: This is okay, but if I were you, I’d buy a Laptop. It’s more Versatile. You can travel with it. Ginger: I’m not sure about getting a laptop. The Screen is so small. ... Читать далее...
15. Buying Computer AccessoriesGinger: It’s really nice of you to come with me to buy my computer. This is the Desktop I’m thinking about. Kevin: This is okay, but if I were you, I’d buy a Laptop. It’s more Versatile. You can travel with it. Ginger: I’m not sure about getting a laptop. The Screen is so small. ... Читать далее...
16. One night a man heard howls coming from his basementOne night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse’s confidence with some cheese and then took him next door. The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a German Sheppard. The ... Читать далее...
17. A lawyer named Strange diedA lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, «Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.» The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: ... Читать далее...
18. One day a lady went to the doctors officeOne day a lady went to the doctor’s office and told the doctor that her husband wasn’t interested in her any more he just wouldn’t have sex with her anymore. So the doctor went into the back of the shop and got a bottle of 100 pills. He told her that «if you give your ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова mouseMouse — мышь Перевод слова As poor as a church mouse — бедный, как церковная мышь to click a mouse button — кликнуть кнопкой мыши cat-and-mouse game — игра в кошки-мышки What’s the plural of ‘Mouse’? Как во множественном числе будет слово «мышь»? The cat laid a dead Mouse at my feet. Кот положил у ... Читать далее...
20. InternetВ топике Интернет я делюсь своими мыслями, что такое Интернет, насколько он удобен и необходим. Я считаю, что Интернет – это самая удобная и удивительная вещь, которая уже стала привычной и необходимой для миллионов пользователей. Изначально, в 60-х годах, Интернет был военным экспериментом в США, но вскоре стал важной частью жизни каждого человека. В Интернете ... Читать далее...
21. IBM Memo about Peripheral ReplacementIBM Memo about Peripheral Replacement This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest of us may find it rather funny. Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) Mouse balls are now available as FRU. ... Читать далее...
22. Nancy Reagan is the celebrity contestant on PasswordNancy Reagan is the celebrity contestant on Password. It’s her turn to guess the word. Voice Over: And the password is. . . black dick! Nancy: Um. . . is it a place? Her partner: No. Nancy: Is it a person? Her partner: No. Nancy: Hmm, then it must be a thing. Um, is it ... Читать далее...
23. Значение идиомы cut teeth[cut teeth] {v. phr.} 1. To have teeth grow out through the gums. The baby was cross because he was cutting teeth. 2. or [cut eye teeth] {informal} To learn something very early in life; gain experience; start by learning or doing. — Used with a possessive, usually used with «on». The professional ball player ... Читать далее...
24. An Internet ChristmasT’was the Internet Night Before Christmas ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net, There were hacker’s a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet. The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens, While visions of ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова flameFlame — пламя, огонь; пыл, страсть; пылать Перевод слова In flames — в огне, горящий, пылающий to shoot out flames — извергать пламя to fan the flame — разжигать страсти the flame of his intellect — блеск его ума The fire Flamed up when the wind blew again. Огонь вновь ярко вспыхнул, когда налетел порыв ... Читать далее...
26. Перевод слова mailMail — почта, посылать по почте Перевод слова To deliver mail — доставлять почту to deliver by air mail — доставлять авиапочтой by mail — по почте express mail — экспресс-почта She Mailed the package to me. Она послала мне посылку. You’ve Got Mail. Вам письмо. The order came by Mail. Заказ пришел по почте. ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы play cat and mouse with[play cat and mouse with] {v. phr.} To tease or fool bypretending to let him go free and then catching him again. Joe’suncle had fun playing cat and mouse with him. The policemandecided to play cat and mouse when he saw the woman steal the dress inthe store....
28. The Lion and the MouseOnce when a Lion was asleep a little Mouse began running up and down upon him; this soon wakened the Lion, who placed his huge paw upon him, and opened his big jaws to swallow him. «Pardon, O King,» cried the little Mouse: «forgive me this time, I shall never forget it: who knows but ... Читать далее...
29. Hick computer termsRedneck computer terms Log On: Makin’ the wood stove hotter. Log Off: Don’t add no wood. Monitor: Keepin’ an eye on the wood stove. Download: Gettin’ the firewood off the pickup. Mega Hertz: When yer not careful down loadin’. Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin’ too much firewood. Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы go up in smoke[go up in smoke] or [go up in flames] {v. phr.} To burn; bedestroyed by fire. 1. The house went up in flames. The barnfull of hay went up in smoke. 2. Disappear; fail; not come true. Jane’s hopes of going to college went up in smoke when her fatherlost his job. The team’s chances ... Читать далее...
31. The Death of a PetDad: Honey, I have some bad news for you. Fluffy has Gone to the other side. Sarah: You mean she’s out of her cage again? I’ll go and try to find her. Dad: No, you don’t understand. Fluffy Passed away in the night. Sarah: Oh, she Died! That’s too bad, but she was Getting up ... Читать далее...
32. Перевод идиомы fan the flames (of something), значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: fan the flames (of something) Перевод: раздувать пламя; усложнять положение, делать ситуацию более напряженной Пример: The speech by the labor leader fanned the flames of the angry workers. Речь профсоюзного лидера сделала ситуацию с недовольными рабочими еще напряженней....
33. Значение идиомы get one’s teeth into[get one’s teeth into] or [sink one’s teeth into] {v. phr.},{informal} To have something real or solid to think about; go to workon seriously; struggle with. After dinner, John got his teeth intothe algebra lesson. Frank chose a subject for his report that hecould sink his teeth into....
34. Перевод слова strangeStrange — незнакомый, странный, необычный Перевод слова Strange malady — странная болезнь in strange lands — в чужих краях strange tongue — незнакомый язык He had a Strange way of talking. У него была странная манера говорить. She behaved in a Strange fashion. Она вела себя очень странно. I don’t like Strange people coming into ... Читать далее...
35. Where is this placeA man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it — KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town. Since they were hungry, they pulled into a ... Читать далее...
36. ‘Chewy 123’: FBI’s most-wanted cybercriminal used cat’s name as passwordOnce the FBI’s most-wanted cybercriminal, Jeremy Hammond is serving one of the longest sentences a US hacker has received — 10 years, the maximum allowed under his plea agreement. But to this day, he’s unsure how agents cracked his Mac’s encryption. Perhaps it was the fact his password was his cat’s name and the numbers ... Читать далее...
37. The Internet — ИнтернетThe Internet is a huge network of computers spanning this planet and is now started to bring in the surrounding area like space. Some computers like servers share data, others just surf the web as clients downloading the data. Public Internet began in the late 70’s. In the 70*s web users used an interface called ... Читать далее...
38. Ten Signs That You’re At A Bad Zoo1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino ... Читать далее...
39. Beware of drunken bearsThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. LOS ANGELES TIMES, October 8: People of northwestern Montana have been advised to be on the lookout for drunken bears. Black bears and grizzlies have been congregating along the tracks of the ... Читать далее...
40. Top ten signs that you are too drunk10. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth. 9. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you. 8. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. 7. Your idea of cutting back is less salt. 6. You can focus better with one eye closed. 5. ... Читать далее...