The office happenings
Quote from a recent meeting: “We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done”.
Quote from the Boss… “I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.”
A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale improves. A direct quote from the Boss: “We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired.”
My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That’s because it’s unfamiliar territory.
My Boss said to me ” What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier.
My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth would be buffered from surprise spikes in his brain.
I thought my Boss was an idiot, and quit, to work for myself. My new Boss is an idiot, too… but at least I respect him.
He’s given automobile accident victims new hope for recovery. He walks, talks and performs rudimentary tasks, all without the benefit of a SPINE.
Some people climb the ladder of success. My Boss walked under it.
Quote from the Boss after overriding the decision of a task force he created to find a solution: ” I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression your input would have any effect on my decision for the outcome of this project!”
HR Manager to job candidate “I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.”
Quote from telephone inquiry “We’re only hiring one summer intern this year and we won’t start interviewing candidates for that position until the Boss’ daughter finishes her summer classes.
(1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)Related topics:
- Problems at the Office Lucy: Hey Jeff, can I Pick your brain for a minute? Jeff: Sure, what’s up? Lucy: Well, I have a Sticky situation at work and I wanted to get your Input. You’re always so Tactful. Jeff: Thanks. I’m not sure I can help but I’ll give you my two cents. Lucy: Well, it’s like this. […]...
- Перевод слова input Input – вход, входной, вложение Перевод слова To input text – вводить текст input data – входные данные input-output interface – интерфейс ввода-вывода I will forever be grateful for his considerable Input. Я буду вечно ему благодарен за его значительный вклад. There has been a big Input of resources into the project from industry. В […]...
- Перевод слова quote Quote – цитировать, ссылаться; кавычка; назначать цену Перевод слова To quote from a book – приводить цитату из книги may I quote you on that? – можно при этом сослаться на вас? single quote – одинарная кавычка forward quote – открывающая кавычка quote a price – котировать цену quote the price – назначать цену Many […]...
- Working Late at the Office I was so glad it was Friday afternoon. I’ve been thinking-TGIF-all day. I was On my way out of the office when I saw Nick sitting at his desk. Even though the office was nearly empty, he didn’t look like he was ready to leave. In fact, he looked like he was still Swamped with […]...
- Working from a Home Office Adrina: So this is your new home office. It’s nice. Victor: It’s Functional, and I like it. When my company decided to lower its Overhead by Decentralizing, it gave employees the option to work from home. When I heard that, I didn’t Think twice about making the change. Adrina: I’m not surprised. Lots of people […]...
- Перевод слова outcome Outcome – результат, последствие, исход Перевод слова The outcome of an election – результат выборов to decide the outcome of the game – решить исход матча favourable outcome – благоприятный исход I am uncertain about the Outcome. Я не уверен в том, каким будет результат. Everyone was in suspense over the Outcome. Никто не мог […]...
- How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours I once wrote a book called How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours. It went like this: To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the next sentence. To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the previous sentence.” It didn’t sell very well. I thought with the short attention span of people these […]...
- Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. “What’s the story this time, Jones?” he asked sarcastically. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.” Jones sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the […]...
- A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this was an obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened? The blonde said, “Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commit suicide, […]...
- Stop being late to work Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went […]...
- Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went […]...
- The boss called one of his employees into the office The boss called one of his employees into the office. “Rob,” he said, “you’ve been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four […]...
- The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss. The brain said, “I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks.” The hands said, “I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person.” The legs declared, “I shuld be boss since I carry the body and […]...
- Перевод слова impression Impression – впечатление, представление Перевод слова Painful impression – болезненное впечатление personal impression – личное впечатление to have the impression that – полагать, думать что I got the Impression that he is a bit tasty. У меня впечатление, что он имеет какое-то отношение к преступному миру. She failed to create any profound Impression. Ей не […]...
- A young bloke has started work on a property A young bloke has started work on a property, and the boss sends him up the back paddocks to do some fencing work, but come evening he’s half an hour late. The boss gets on the CB radio to check if he’s all right. “I’ve got a problem, Boss. I’m stuck ‘ere. I’ve hit a […]...
- Значение идиомы be out [be out] {v. phr.} 1. To not be at home or at one’s place of work. I tried to call but they told me that Al was out. 2. To be unacceptable; not be considered; impossible. I suggested that we hire more salespeople but the boss replied that such a move was positively out. 3. […]...
- Значение идиомы in effect [in effect] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. The same in meaning or result. The teacher gave the same assignment, in effect, that she gaveyesterday. Helping your mother with the dishes is in effectearning your allowance. 2. Necessary to obey; being enforced. Thecoach says that players must be in bed by midnight, and that rule isin […]...
- Keeping a high profile in an office Never write a note or memo if you can phone or visit instead; everyone wants to talk whenever you’re ready. Don’t sit down to talk. The acoustics are better the higher you are, and remember that most people are a bit deaf so speak up louder! Try to talk with _at least_ three people between […]...
- Перевод слова project Project – проект, план, программа, проектировать Перевод слова Commercial project – коммерческий проект finance for a project – финансирование проекта to carry out a project – осуществлять проект to draw up a project – составлять, разрабатывать проект My Project failed. Моя затея не удалась. This Project looks fishy. Этот проект выглядит сомнительно. We teamed up […]...
- One day a lady went to the doctors office One day a lady went to the doctor’s office and told the doctor that her husband wasn’t interested in her any more he just wouldn’t have sex with her anymore. So the doctor went into the back of the shop and got a bottle of 100 pills. He told her that “if you give your […]...
- Bosses versus workers When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don’t do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that […]...
- An On-Site Estimate I work for a Building contractor and I spend most of my workday giving On-site estimates. I mainly go to people’s homes, discuss the work they want done, Inspect the site, and give them a Quote. Robert: You want to Expand your kitchen, is that right? Abigail: Yes, with our growing family, we need more […]...
- Перевод слова decision Decision – решение; решимость, твердость Перевод слова Official decision – официальное решение decision criterion – критерий выбора a man of decision – решительный человек Have you made a Decision? Вы приняли решение? I’ll stick with my Decision. Я буду действовать так, как считаю нужным. We made the Decision to accept their offer. Мы решили принять […]...
- A middle manager is called into his bosses office A middle manager is called into his bosses office on a Monday morning. He is told he has to get rid of one employee in his department by the next Monday. “Downsizing.” He’s really upset. Everyone in his department does a good job and it doesn’t seem fair. So for the next 2 days he […]...
- Перевод идиомы a pat on the back, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: a pat on the back Перевод: похвала, поощрение (часто используется в выражении Give someone a pat on the back) Пример: You deserve a pat on the back for keeping your promise. Ты заслуживаешь похвалы за то, что сдержал свое обещание. My boss gave me a pat on the back when I finished the project. […]...
- A woman accompanied her husband to the doctors office A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, “If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die”. 1.Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood. 2.At lunch time, make him a warm, […]...
- Перевод слова boss Boss – босс, шеф Перевод слова Absolute boss – непререкаемый лидер party boss – партийный босс to kowtow to the boss – подлизываться к начальнику My old Boss was awful! Мой прежний босс был ужасен! He is his own Boss now. Теперь он сам себе начальник. Clear this with the Boss. Согласуй это с шефом. […]...
- A young peasant girl of fourteen A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, “But why?” he asked. “Nothin, I just wanna […]...
- Women’s translations WOMEN’S LANGUAGE TRANSLATED Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry. We need… = I want It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want… = You’ll pay for this later. We need to talk… = I need to complain Sure…go […]...
- Перевод слова effect Effect – результат, воздействие, эффект, цель Перевод слова Cause and effect – причина и следствие to this effect – для этого, для этой цели to exercise effect – оказывать воздействие He now needs more of the drug to achieve the same Effect. Сейчас ему нужно больше наркотика, чтобы добиться такого же эффекта. Nature begins from […]...
- Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Are Not Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren’t I need you to whip it out by 5:00! Mind if I use your laptop? Put this in my box before you leave. I want it on my desk now! Hmm.. I think I’m out of fluid. My equipment’s so old, it takes forever to finish! […]...
- Перевод слова continue Continue – продолжать(ся), длиться Перевод слова To continue work – продолжать работу to continue in power – оставаться у власти the door continued to bang all night – дверь хлопала всю ночь to be continued – продолжение следует I felt too sick to Continue. Я чувствовал себя слишком плохо, чтобы продолжать. The trial Continues today. […]...
- George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard I George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard I Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they’re […]...
- Learning Work Rules and Routines I was happy to finally get a job, but I wasn’t ready for a first day of work like this one. … Boss: This is your first day and my job is To give you the rundown on how we do things around here. This is a Well-oiled machine. Everybody has To pull his or […]...
- Значение идиомы walking papers [walking papers] or [walking orders] also [walking ticket] {n.},{informal} A statement that you are fired from your job; dismissal. The boss was not satisfied with Paul’s work and gave him his walkingpapers. George is out of work. He picked up his walking ticketlast Friday....
- Delegating Work Anya: I don’t know how I’m going to get all of this work done before I go on vacation. Estevan: What you need to do is To delegate. Stop being a Control freak and get other people to help you with your work. Anya: I’ve tried to delegate before, but I Ended up having To […]...
- Organizing Your Office I have a very Disorganized office. My co-workers have been making jokes about my office for a long time, and my boss finally Cracked down on me. He told me: “Get the office organized by Friday – no excuses!” What choice did I have? I’ve always been a Pack rat. I hate to throw anything […]...
- Значение идиомы give the ax [give the ax] {v. phr.}, {colloquial} 1. Abruptly to finish arelationship. She gave me the ax last night. 2. To fire anemployee in a curt manner. His boss gave John the ax last Friday....
- Значение идиомы work on [work on] also [work upon] {v.} 1. Have an effect on; influence. Some pills work on the nerves and make people feel more relaxed. 2.To try to influence or convince. Senator Smith worked on the othercommittee members to vote for the bill....
- Play the Office Game Here’s a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows: ONE POINT Run one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways to the photocopier. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk. When they’re not looking, pour […]...