The newly married man came home from work

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1. Перевод слова newly Newly – вновь, заново, по-новому Перевод слова Furniture newly arranged – по-новому расставленная мебель newly arrived – вновь прибывший newly-born child – новорожденный newly married – новобрачный, новобрачная The offices were Newly tabled. В офисах были поставлены новые столы. That grass is Newly seeded, please get off! Газон только что засеяли, пожалуйста, уйдите с него. […]...
2. A young couple got married, and in their family A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened…but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between […]...
3. A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her new groom, “Please be gentle… I am still a virgin.” The startled groom says “How can that be? You’ve been married twice…” The bride responds… […]...
4. A young couple gets married, and the groom A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000. She confronts […]...
5. Going to a Wedding I got an Invitation in the mail last month that really surprised me. My friend Ulrich was getting married! We went to college together and he always said that he’d never get married. I guess he found his Dream girl in the end. The Church wedding was going to be at 3 p. m. and […]...
6. Man takes the ferry home from work John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. […]...
7. These two guys are car pooling home from work one day These two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone’s front lawn. “Look”, he shouts “What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?” The […]...
8. Get married Johnny (age 8) comes into the house for dinner after playing outside all afternoon. His parents ask him what he did today. He says that he played baseball and then he proposed to Betty (age 7) the next door neighbor. They are going to get married. His parents think this is cute, and they don’t […]...
9. A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old.” The husband retorts, “Well, what did he say about your 50 year […]...
10. Jake is 85, and he gets married to a 16-year-old Jake is 85, and he gets married to a 16-year-old. He walks into the local bar when he gets back from his honeymoon, and all the guys want to hear about his wedding night. Jake says, “Well, when we got to the hotel, my youngest son carried me up the stairs, undressed me, and lifted […]...
11. Перевод слова married Married – женатый, брачный Перевод слова Married man – женатый человек married name – фамилия по мужу married couple – супружеская пара So, how do you like Married life? Так, как тебе супружеская жизнь? She Married an Evans. Она вышла замуж за одного из Эвансов. I was Married to my job. Я был женат на […]...
12. Перевод сленгового выражения work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off Сленговое выражение: work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off груб. Перевод: усердно трудиться, много работать Пример: You’ve been working your ass off […]...
13. Last winter I was laid up at home with the flu Last winter I was laid up at home with the flu. My fiancee’ called and volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to me. I declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her. “Okay honey”, she told me, “Will wait till after we get married. Then we can spend the […]...
14. A man gets home early from work A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he’s dialing, […]...
15. Three newly incarcerated convicts are discussing how they Three newly incarcerated convicts are discussing how they will pass their time in jail. The first one pulls out a harmonica and says “I can play all my favorite songs on this.” The second takes out a deck of cards. “I can play poker with myself with these.” The third gets out a box of […]...
16. A young married woman A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend. The girlfriend asked, “Do you talk to your husband when you’re making love?” She thought about it a minute then said, “Well, no. But I could. I mean he has a cell phone and all now.”...
17. The newly divorced woman The newly divorced woman had never had to be the handyman around the house before, and quickly discovered she was lacking most of the proper tools to do the odd jobs needed. She made a trip to the local hardware store and quickly learned that it was truly a “man’s world” there. Thinking that she […]...
18. A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday surprise A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday surprise by buying her a bra. He entered a ladies shop rather intimidated, but the girls took charge to help him. “What color?” they asked. He settled for white. “How much does it cost?” he asked. “Twenty dollars.” “Very good,” he thought. All that […]...
19. Пословица / поговорка a little hard work never killed anyone / a little work never hurt anyone – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: a little hard work never killed anyone / a little work never hurt anyone Перевод: небольшой труд еще никому не навредил Пример: The mother said that a little hard work never hurt anyone and asked her son to clean the kitchen. Мать сказала, что немного труда еще никому не вредило, и попросила […]...
20. This one New Yorker married himself a southern gal This one New Yorker married himself a southern gal and brought her to the big city for the first time. When they first arrived he got them a hotel room and as they were laying in bed she looked over in the corner and saw a discarded condom, “Oh yuck!!” she proclaimed as she ponted […]...
21. Anybody Home? A boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?” Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to the youngster, the boss asked, “Is […]...
22. The Bachelor Diet Monday Breakfast – Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth Lunch – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” – those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chilli, a soft drink and have […]...
23. The bachelor’s diet Bachelor’s Diet MONDAY: BREAKFAST – Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and […]...
24. Значение идиомы write home about [write home about] {v. phr.} To become especially enthusiastic orexcited about; boast about. – Often used after “to”. Mary’s trip tothe World’s Fair was something to write home about. Joe did a goodenough job of painting but it was nothing to write home about. “That was a dinner worth writing home about!” said Bill coming […]...
25. Working from a Home Office Adrina: So this is your new home office. It’s nice. Victor: It’s Functional, and I like it. When my company decided to lower its Overhead by Decentralizing, it gave employees the option to work from home. When I heard that, I didn’t Think twice about making the change. Adrina: I’m not surprised. Lots of people […]...
26. Driving home very drunk It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before […]...
27. A story with a morale A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. “Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper.” Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. “Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie.” Confused, […]...
28. Перевод слова dare Dare – отваживаться, осмеливаться Перевод слова He daren’t do it – у него не хватит духу сделать это to dare all things – быть готовым взяться за любое дело give a dare – бросить вызов I Dare not protest. Не смею возражать. Try it if you Dare. Попробуйте это, если осмелитесь. She didn’t Dare open […]...
29. A 70-year-old man has never been married A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, “So, tell me, how was it?” “Oh, it was beautiful,” says the man. “The […]...
30. Footless Parrot A guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not communicating at all and he’s lonesome so he goes to a pet store thinking a pet might help. The store he happened to walk into specialized in parrots. As he wanders down the rows of parrots he notices one with no feet. Surprised […]...
31. Перевод слова sofa Sofa – диван, софа Перевод слова Capacious sofa – глубокий диван a comfortable sofa – удобный диван club sofa – диван с невысокой мягкой спинкой The dog jumped onto the Sofa. Собака прыгнула на диван. She was lounging on the Sofa. Она развалилась на диване. This Sofa is so uncomfortable. Это диван такой неудобный....
32. One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with no experience. On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each […]...
33. On preparing to return home from an out of town trip On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, this man got a small puppy as a present for his son. Not having time to get the paper work to take the puppy onboard, the man just hid the pup down the front of his pants and snunk him onboard the airplane.. About […]...
34. Перевод слова bride Bride – невеста Перевод слова To take a bride – выбрать невесту portionless bride – невеста без приданого yearling bride – год как замужем I give you the Bride and groom! Я предлагаю выпить за жениха и невесту! He and his Bride boarded the train. Он со своей невестой сел в поезд. The Bride and […]...
35. Miles Dobson was away from home on business Miles Dobson was away from home on business in another city. When he called home, his wife told him, “Miles, they had your name in the obits today.” “What! In the obituary column! That’s not only disgraceful but bad journalism. I’ll sue ’em.” “Tell me, Miles,” his wife asked tremulously, “wh…wh…where are you calling from?”...
36. On their honeymoon night On their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body. She said, “I can’t wear your pants.” “That’s right,” intoned the groom, “And don’t you forget it. I’m the one who wears the pants in the family.” The bride […]...
37. On their first night to be together On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, “my dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.” The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. […]...
38. Значение идиомы home [home] See: AT HOME, BRING HOME, BRING HOME THE BACON, CHICKENSCOME HOME TO ROOST, CLOSE TO HOME, CONVALESCENT HOME or NURSING HOMEor REST HOME, KEEP THE HOME FIRES BURNING, MAKE ONESELF AT HOME, NOBODY HOME, WRITE HOME ABOUT....
39. Time Off from Work My buddy from college, Jack, was getting married and our friend Rob was planning a Bachelor party for him in Vegas. It was going to be the Last weekend of the month and I wanted to go. The trouble was, I was scheduled to work that weekend. I needed to get the Time off from […]...
40. A work of art A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye. “What on earth,” she inquired of the artist standing nearby, “is that?” He smiled condescendingly. “That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child.” […]...