The Big Horse Race

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1. Horses at the RaceA champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, »All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова conscienceConscience — совесть, сознание Перевод слова Clear conscience — чистая совесть pangs of conscience — угрызения совести freedom of conscience — свобода совести; свобода вероисповедания individual conscience — личное сознание His Conscience troubled him. Его мучила совесть. Let your Conscience guide you. Следуйте за своей совестью. My Conscience was unclouded. Моя совесть чиста....
3. An affair with the horsePaddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: «I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.» His second friend says: «I think my wife is having an affair with ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова silkSilk — шелк, шелковый Перевод слова Silk ferret — шелковая тесьма to boil silk — вываривать шелк ball dress of changeable silk — бальное платье из переливающегося шелка This Silk drapes beautifully. Этот шелк красиво драпируется. Turkey Silk has a flaxen appearance. Турецкий шелк похож на лен. His garment was seamed with Silk thread. Его ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова merryMerry — веселый, праздничный Перевод слова A merry fellow — веселый малый to make merry — веселиться, пировать to troll merry song — напевать веселую песню Merry Christmas! Веселого Рождества! Let’s eat, drink, and be Merry! Давайте есть, пить и веселиться! When other people were Merry, Mrs. Varden was dull. Когда все веселились, миссис Варден ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова bareBare — голый, нагой, необутый, скудный Перевод слова To bare one’s fangs — показать клыки bare hands — голые руки to lay bare — вскрывать, обнажать The dog Bared its teeth. Собака оскалила зубы. He Bared his back to the hot sun. Он обнажил спину жаркому солнцу. The room was cold and completely Bare. Комната ... Читать далее...
7. Communication problemThere was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and they lived in Honolulu. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. ... Читать далее...
8. Why Jim Smith Lost His First LoveJim Smith wished to buy a present for his first sweetheart, and after careful consideration he decided on a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sweetheart’s sister, he went to a department store and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the items got ... Читать далее...
9. A state-of-the-art watchA cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, «Is your date running late?» «No», he replies,»I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы disk jockey[disk jockey] {n.} An employee at a radio station or in a danceclub who puts on the records that will be broadcast. Jack is working as a disk jockey at the local FM station....
11. Значение идиомы heavy-duty[heavy-duty] {adj.} Made for long or hard use; very strong. Thelumberman used heavy-duty trucks for hauling logs down the mountains. The workers in the steel mill have heavy-duty gloves for handlinghot steel. Mrs. Carlson bought a heavy-duty cleanser to clean hergreasy oven....
12. Перевод идиомы go belly up, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: go belly up Перевод: обанкротиться, разориться (обычно употребляется по отношению к бизнесу, предприятиям, и т. п.; также может употребляться без глагола, как прилагательное — Belly up) Пример: Four car dealers went belly up during the recession. Во время рецессии обанкротилось четыре автосалона....
13. To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nailsTo stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells her it’ll make her fat. «I won’t do it any more, Mom,» says the daughter. Next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man. «If I bite my fingernails, I’ll be as fat as that, won’t I Mom?» ... Читать далее...
14. Want some of this?Mongo’s old lady decided she wanted t do something special to please him on his birthday, so she bought a pair of crotchless panties. That night, as he came into the house, she lay sprawled on the couch spread-eagle. «Hi hon,» she purred sexily. «Y’all want some of this?» «Hell, no!» he hollered. «Look at ... Читать далее...
15. A little girl was playing up a tree near a churchA little girl was playing up a tree near a church. The priest was taking a walk when he happened to look up the tree and saw the little girl. She had no panties on. He called her down and gave her money to buy a pair of panties. The girl was so happy and ... Читать далее...
16. A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counterA little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, «ONE BURGER!» The cook, who’s even bigger, screams, «BUR-GER!» Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы three sheets in the wind[three sheets in the wind] or [three sheets to the wind] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Unsteady from too much liquor; drunk. The sailorcame down the street, three sheets in the wind....
18. Prostitute walks into a bar and asks the barmanProstitute walks into a bar and asks the bar man for two Bacardi’s and coke. Bar man serves her and notices that she drinks one and empties the other one down her panties. Now this happened another three times and the bar man was getting rather curious. The bar man nicely questions her and asks ... Читать далее...
19. A little boy and his dad are standing in lineA little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, «hey dad, look how fat that lady is!» «Shhhh, quiet son, she’ll hear you.» «But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!» «Shhhhhh, don’t say that son, it’s not nice!» ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы make merry[make merry] {v. phr.}, {literary} To have fun, laugh, and behappy, In Aesop’s fable the grasshopper made merry while the antworked and saved up food. In the Bible story a rich man ate anddrank and made merry....
21. Значение идиомы lay bare[lay bare] {v. phr.} To expose; reveal; divulge. During histestimony the witness laid bare the whole story of his involvementwith the accused....
22. Перевод слова horseHorse — лошадь, конь Перевод слова Horse breeding — разведение лошадей draught horse — упряжная лошадь heavy draught horse — тяжеловоз Caparison my Horse. Седлай моего коня! He jumped his Horse. Он заставил лошадь прыгнуть. The Horse is in form. Лошадь вполне подготовлена к бегам....
23. On their honeymoon nightOn their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body. She said, «I can’t wear your pants.» «That’s right,» intoned the groom, «And don’t you forget it. I’m the one who wears the pants in the family.» The bride ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод слова postPost — сообщение, почта Перевод слова By return of post — с обратной почтой by registered post — заказным письмом military post — полевая почта I took the letter to the Post. Я отнес письмо на почту. I’ll send the book to you by Post. Я пошлю тебе эту книгу по почте. The letter came ... Читать далее...
25. Boss wants too muchFor thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A. M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A. M. passed without Johnson’s arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came ... Читать далее...
26. Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and stillSadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, «Mama! I ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы clean[clean] See: COME CLEAN, KEEP ONE’S NOSE CLEAN, MAKE A CLEAN BREAST OF, NEW BROOM SWEEPS CLEAN, TAKE TO ONE’S HEELS, also SHOW A CLEAN PAIR OF HEELS....
28. Перевод слова post-officePost-office — почта, почтовое отделение Перевод слова Post office official — почтовый чиновник post-office receipt — почтовая квитанция post-office box — абонементный почтовый ящик post office coach — почтовый вагон date of a post-office stamp — дата почтового штемпеля It was an old Post-office where clerks candled the letters. Это была почта старого образца, где ... Читать далее...
29. They’re Boasting about Race RecordsSome race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. «In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!» Another horse breaks in, «Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!» «Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!», says another, flicking ... Читать далее...
30. The corporate boat raceAn American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team became ... Читать далее...
31. Passing a parrotA lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, «Hey lady, you are really ugly.» Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same ... Читать далее...
32. Перевод слова cleanClean — чистый, опрятный; чистить Перевод слова Clean habits — чистоплотность clean puppy — приученный щенок clean wheat — пшеница без примеси This stove Cleans easily. Эта плита легко отмывается. The car needs a good Clean. Автомобиль нуждается в хорошей чистке. Make sure you keep the wound Clean. Следите, за тем чтобы рана была чистой....
33. Значение идиомы cherry farm[cherry farm] {n.}, {slang} A correctional institution of minimal security where the inmates, mostly first offenders, work as farmhands. Joe got a light sentence and was sent to a cherry farm for six months....
34. Перевод слова ladyLady — леди, женщина Перевод слова Great lady — знатная дама you’ve dropped your gloves, lady! — женщина, вы обронили перчатки! foxy lady — соблазнительная женщина your good lady — ваша супруга Shall we rejoin the Ladies? Не вернуться ли нам к дамам? She’s swell, a real Lady. Она одевается стильно, как настоящая леди. Don’t ... Читать далее...
35. An effective contraceptiveAfter having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double-wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn’t want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called ... Читать далее...
36. A life-long city man, tired of the rat raceA life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a ... Читать далее...
37. USENET ParodyNo no, the question is: How many USENET posters does it take to change a lightbulb? A1. Define «change» A2. How do you know the lightbulb is out? A3. Don’t use the word «posters» to describe us, it’s offensive to large sheets of papers with pictures on them which hang on walls. A4. That question ... Читать далее...
38. A woman and her friend are visiting the zooA woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage, when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her yanks her over the fence and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishhes her ... Читать далее...
39. What kind of clothes are there?What kind of clothes are there? women: clean & dirty Men: Clean, almost clean, sorta clean, not bad, dirty, really dirty, nasty, biohazzard.(Men will voluntarily wear all but the last classification of these clothes)....
40. While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand newWhile out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball. Seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to ... Читать далее...