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The astronomy jokes

NASA just disclosed details why the rover wouldn’t accept any commands. They took a picture of the rover’s built-in display which showed a windows screen and the text «press any key to continue».

It is not conclusive yet, but the NASA believes the Mars Pathfinder has found proof of life on Mars. The cd player was stolen.

The Mars Pathfinder was renamed today in honor of the late astronomer, Carl Sagan. The craft will henceforth be referred to as bha memorial station.

You’ve probably heard about the Mars Pathfinder probe. Once it lands on the red planet, pathfinder will release the sojourner rover, a little laboratory on wheels. Sojourner will cruise about the martian surface performing experments. It turns out that sojourner and pathfinder will communicate using two standard, off-the-shelf 9600 baud radio modems.

According to jet propulsion laboratory program manager Donna Shirley, the modem manufacturer warned jpl that sending the modem to mars would void the warranty.



Тема my future career.
Биография джорджа вашингтона на английском.

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  1. Curiosity Sings ‘Happy Birthday’ to Itself On MarsNASA scientists have commanded one of Curiosity’s instruments to hum out the tune of «Happy Birthday» to commemorate the rover’s first year on the Martian surface. Curiosity is no stranger to «firsts.» The one-ton rover is the first to laser-blast a Mars rock; it was also the first to carry out X-ray diffraction analysis on ... Читать далее...
  2. Modems beat womenSome reasons why a modem is better than a woman: A modem doesn’t ask for a commitment if you use it. Getting a modem to obey you is as simple as typing «AT». When you’re done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty. A modem won’t say a ... Читать далее...
  3. Перевод слова screenScreen — экран, завеса Перевод слова Fire screen — каминный экран smoke screen — дымовая завеса television screen — телевизионный экран A tall man came out from behind the Screen. Из-за перегородки вышел высокий мужчина. My test score showed on the Screen. На экране появился результат моего теста. The headlines flashed on the Screen. Заголовки ... Читать далее...
  4. Перевод слова laboratoryLaboratory — лаборатория Перевод слова Scientist who cloisters himself in a laboratory — ученый, который отгораживается от мира в лаборатории under laboratory conditions — в лабораторных условиях factory laboratory — заводская лаборатория chemistry laboratory — химическая лаборатория He had direct charge of the Laboratory. Лаборатория находилась в его непосредственном подчинении. All Laboratory men feature in ... Читать далее...
  5. MarsТопик Марс рассказывает о загадочной красной планете, всегда привлекавшей внимание астрономов. Тонкий слой атмосферы создает разброс температуры от минус 207 по Фаренгейту до 80 градусов по Фаренгейту. На Марсе бушуют штормы, очень похожие на ураганы на Земле. Ученые до сих пор надеются обнаружить на Марсе признаки жизни. The fourth planet from the sun has always ... Читать далее...
  6. Перевод слова MarsMars — Марс Перевод слова Earth-mars operation — космическая операция в звене Земля-Марс earth-mars transfer period — период перехода между орбитами Земли и Марса mars launch complex — стартовый комплекс для пуска ракет на Марс mars manned program — программа пилотируемых полетов на Марс Does life exist on Mars? Есть ли жизнь на Марсе? He ... Читать далее...
  7. Перевод слова displayDisplay — показ, выставка; демонстрировать, проявлять Перевод слова Military display, display of troops — военный парад fashion display — демонстрация мод to display the national flag — вывесить национальный флаг to display dedication — выказывать преданность He liked to Display his erudition. Он любил похвастаться своей эрудицией. Toys were Displayed in the store window. Игрушки ... Читать далее...
  8. Russians used a pencilWhen NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface, and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to ... Читать далее...
  9. Is Windows a Virus?No, Windows is not a virus. Here’s what viruses (viri?) do: 1. They replicate quickly — okay, Windows does that. 2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so — okay, Windows does that. 3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk — okay, Windows does ... Читать далее...
  10. More dorm jokesI can’t resist a few: 1. Once you have stolen a dormmate’s room keys, the room is yours to plunder. As a variation, steal the dorm keys but reverse the lock (so the keyhole faces INTO the room); we had a mechanical engineer who got this down to about 20 seconds. Then loudly announce to ... Читать далее...
  11. Abraham wants to upgrade his PC to Windows 95Abraham wants to upgrade his PC to Windows 95. Isaac is incredulous. ‘Pop,’ he says, ‘you can’t run Windows 95 on your old, slow 386. Everyone knows that you need at least a fast 486 with a minimum of 16 megs of memory in order to multitask effectively with Windows 95.’ But Abraham, the man ... Читать далее...
  12. Hick computer termsRedneck computer terms Log On: Makin’ the wood stove hotter. Log Off: Don’t add no wood. Monitor: Keepin’ an eye on the wood stove. Download: Gettin’ the firewood off the pickup. Mega Hertz: When yer not careful down loadin’. Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin’ too much firewood. Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the ... Читать далее...
  13. Talking About AstronomyDad: What are you working on, Honey? Mariko: It’s a Project for school about the Earth and its place in the Universe. I have to write a Report and build a Model of what scientists can see with a Telescope in Space. Dad: I can help you with that. I was always good in science, ... Читать далее...
  14. Значение идиомы build up[build up] {v.} 1. To make out of separate pieces or layers; construct from parts. Johnny built up a fort out of large balls of snow. Lois built up a cake of three layers. 2. To cover over or fill up with buildings. The fields where Tom’s father played as a boy are all built ... Читать далее...
  15. Washington JokesWashington: Help! We’re Overrun By Nerds And Slackers! — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — Washington: We like our state, so stay ... Читать далее...
  16. Перевод слова astronomyAstronomy — астрономия Перевод слова To dip into astronomy — баловаться астрономией aviation astronomy — авиационная астрономия radio astronomy — радиоастрономия chair of astronomy — кафедра астрономии She dabbles in Astronomy. Она немного занимается астрономией. Astronomy is a science of duplicate origin. Астрономия — наука, имеющая двойственное происхождение....
  17. Finish overseas tourA young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far ... Читать далее...
  18. Solve Indian puzzlesAn Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made ... Читать далее...
  19. A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students asA first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they experimented with their desk computers. One boy sat staring at the screen, unsure how to get the computer going. The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen. In her most reassuring voice, she said, «The computer wants to know what your name is,» ... Читать далее...
  20. Buying on the InternetIt’s true that I don’t like shopping. When I want to buy something, I do it Online. I like buying on the Internet because I can easily do some Comparison shopping And find the best price. It’s easy, too. Last week I wanted to buy some new Headphones. I did a search and found a ... Читать далее...
  21. Buying on the InternetIt’s true that I don’t like shopping. When I want to buy something, I do it Online. I like buying on the Internet because I can easily do some Comparison shopping And find the best price. It’s easy, too. Last week I wanted to buy some new Headphones. I did a search and found a ... Читать далее...
  22. Перевод слова acceptAccept — принимать, соглашаться Перевод слова To accept a bet — согласиться на пари to accept a challenge — принять вызов to accept a condition — принимать условие I Accept your kind offer. Я принимаю ваше любезное предложение. Please Accept this small gift. Пожалуйста, примите этот маленький подарок. I cannot Accept your invitation Я не ... Читать далее...
  23. Calling Tech SupportI recently Signed up for a new ISP for my office, using DSL. I managed to get the Modem and the Router Configured properly, but now my email won’t work. I Dug out the manual that came with the modem and called the Toll-free line for Technical support. I’m not a big fan of most ... Читать далее...
  24. Chicago JokesA man was telling his co-worker one day that the company was transferring him to Chicago. He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there. When asked why, he replied that he was just too afraid of all the crime even though he would be passing up a big salary ... Читать далее...
  25. James Clerk MaxwellMaxwell, born in a well-known Scottish family, early showed signs of mathematical talent. At the age of 15 he contributed a piece of original work on the drawing of oval curves to the royal society of Edinburgh. The work was so well done that many refused to believe that such a young boy could be ... Читать далее...
  26. Перевод слова picturePicture — картина, рисунок, изображение Перевод слова Picture book — иллюстрированная книга to draw a grim picture — нарисовать мрачную картину famous picture — знаменитая картина She is just a Picture. Она прямо как с картинки. You have Pictured her very vividly. Вы очень живо нарисовали ее. The Picture hung askew. Картина висела криво. Примеры ... Читать далее...
  27. Перевод слова discloseDisclose — выявлять, обнаруживать, открывать, показывать Перевод слова To disclose records — опубликовывать архивы to disclose a hidden treasure — найти спрятанное сокровище to disclose a secret — раскрыть секрет He refused to Disclose the source of his information. Он отказался раскрыть источник своей информации. The identity of the victim has not yet been Disclosed. ... Читать далее...
  28. Best Buy Confirms The Existence Of Its Secret WebsiteIn the wake of an investigation launched by the Connecticut Attorney General’s office, Best Buy has finally admitted that the now-infamous «secret intranet» (used to mislead in-store customers about BestBuy’s online prices) exists. The website looks identical to BestBuy. com…except for the prices. The secret website was first revealed by George Gombossy of the Hartford ... Читать далее...
  29. Значение идиомы the picture[the picture] {n.} The way things are or were; the facts aboutsomething; the situation; what happened or happens. Where doesSusan come into the picture. When you are looking for a job youreducation enters into the picture. Old Mr. Brown is out of thepicture now and his son runs the store. After the fight on theplayground, ... Читать далее...
  30. You might be a redneck if 08You might be a redneck if… You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since «Smokey and the Bandit» was snubbed for best picture. None of your shirts cover your stomach. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. The rear tires on your car are at least ... Читать далее...
  31. Problems at the OfficeLucy: Hey Jeff, can I Pick your brain for a minute? Jeff: Sure, what’s up? Lucy: Well, I have a Sticky situation at work and I wanted to get your Input. You’re always so Tactful. Jeff: Thanks. I’m not sure I can help but I’ll give you my two cents. Lucy: Well, it’s like this. ... Читать далее...
  32. A Trip to the Jewelry StoreMy wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started ... Читать далее...
  33. A Trip to the Jewelry StoreMy wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started ... Читать далее...
  34. Перевод слова whoseWhose — чья, чей, чье, чьи, который Перевод слова The house whose windows are broken — дом, окна которого разбиты the pupil whose work I showed you — ученик, работу которого я вам показывал whose fault is it — кто виноват Whose idea was that? Чья это была идея? Whose daughter are you? Чья вы ... Читать далее...
  35. Found: An Intricate 17th-Century Map, Stuffed Into a ChimneyConservators were able to save parts of the map. Towards the end of the 1600s, when the map was made, it would have been a prized possession. Seven feet by five feet, backed by canvas, it showed the whole world, with views of magnificent cities running along its sides. It would have been expensive and ... Читать далее...
  36. Asteroids — АстероидыQuick quiz: How many planets orbit our Sun? If you said nine, you`re shy by several thousand. Scientists consider asteroids to be minor planets — some are hundreds of miles wide (and seldom round). Orbits Most, but not all, orbit the sun in an asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter. The huge gravitational pull of ... Читать далее...
  37. New York JokesNew York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney… — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
  38. Irish Pub JokesMurphy won the Irish Sweepstakes $100,000.00 and was on a long holiday in America. He went on a bus tour and traveled for hours and hours through desert country and oil fields. Murphy said, «Where are we now?» The guide said, «We’re in the great state of Texas.» «It’s a big place,» said Murphy. The ... Читать далее...
  39. More neighborhood jokesThey had a ‘witchy’ old lady next door that was constantly complaining about everything and everyone in the neighborhood. After one really good round about kids and pets messing up her spotless front yard, my buddies planned what turned out to be a better joke than they originally thought. Juvenile as we all were, they ... Читать далее...
  40. Jokes of science 01At the physics exam: ‘Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.’ Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games? A: The ‘wave’. The Stanford Linear Accelerator Center was known as SLAC, until the big earthquake, when it became known as SPLAC. SPLAC? Stanford Piecewise Linear Accelerator. A student recognizes ... Читать далее...

The astronomy jokes