Seminars for Men

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1. A degree at Life University A new two year degree is being offered at LIFE UNIVERSITY that many of you should be interested in: BECOMING A REAL MAN. That’s right, in just six quarters you, too, can be a real man, as well as earn an AA degree (AA Real Men). Please take a moment to look over the program […]...
2. University courses for men and women Whatsamatta University’s Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required. 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You Too Can Do […]...
3. Seminars for a woman SEMINARS FOR WOMEN In response to the seminar offerings by the female staff, the male staff has created a set of courses for females of all marital status. The following courses will be offered: General Education: GE101: Why the Toilet Seat Has Hinges GE102: Checkbook Balancing (formerly “Remedial Third Grade Arithmetic”) GE103: How to Drive […]...
4. Перевод идиомы designated driver, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: designated driver Перевод: кто-либо в компании, кто воздерживается от алкоголя с тем, чтобы вести автомобиль Пример: He is a designated driver tonight, so you guys can drink. Он сегодня за рулем, так что можете выпить....
5. Перевод слова awake Awake – будить, пробуждать Перевод слова To awake interest in smb. – пробудить в ком-л. интерес to awake fear – вызывать страх to awake from sleep – пробудиться ото сна I hope he’s Awake now. Я надеюсь, что он не спит сейчас. It was midday when she Awoke. Был полдень, когда она проснулась. She fell […]...
6. Перевод слова honest Honest – честный, искренний, настоящий Перевод слова Honest to the core – искренний до глубины души honest fellow – честный малый honest to God – честное слово honest price – справедливая цена Just give me an Honest answer. Просто дай мне честный ответ. Honest to God, I wasn’t there. Честное слово, я там не был. […]...
7. One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the – influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat […]...
8. Перевод слова understanding Understanding – понимание Перевод слова Literal understanding of the text – буквальное понимание текста mutual understanding – взаимопонимание, согласие superficial understanding – поверхностное понимание The experience enriched her Understanding. Этот случай добавил ей понимания. I knew I could count on his Understanding. Я знал, что могу рассчитывать на его понимание. It exceeds the power of […]...
9. A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever […]...
10. Перевод слова driver Driver – водитель, шофер Перевод слова Co-driver – водитель-напарник drink driver – водитель, управляющий автомобилем в нетрезвом виде learner driver – лицо, обучающееся вождению He’s a rotten Driver. Водитель из него никакой. He is a careful Driver. Он осторожный водитель. He is a pretty awful Driver. Он довольно ужасный водитель. Происхождение слова driver Образовано от […]...
11. A man is driving down the road for a long period of time A man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,”Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. […]...
12. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
13. Значение идиомы honest to goodness [honest to goodness] or [honest to God] {adj. phr.}, {informal}Really; truly; honestly. – Used to emphasize something said. Whenwe were in Washington, we saw the President, honest to goodness. “Honest to goodness, Jane, I think you are the messiest girl in theworld,” said Mother....
14. A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!” The driver of Rolls looks […]...
15. Types of Luggage Driver: Ma’am, where would you like these suitcases? Leona: The three Wheeled suitcases should go next to the bed, and the Garment bag should be Hung up In the closet. Where is my Expandable bag? Driver: Do you mean this Duffel bag? Leona: Yes. You can leave that right there. Hmm, where is my Carry-on? […]...
16. Investment counselor An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers. “As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in […]...
17. He’s drunk at the bar One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his […]...
18. Rolls Royce vs. Yugo A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got a phone in my Yugo!” The driver of the Rolls looked over and […]...
19. Значение идиомы bonest-to-goodness [bonest-to-goodness] or [honest-to-God] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Real; genuine. – Used for emphasis. She served him honest-to-goodness deep dish apple pie. It was the first honest-to-goodness baseball game he’d seen since going abroad....
20. Значение идиомы backseat driver [backseat driver] {n.}, {informal} A bossy person in a car who always tells the driver what to do. The man who drove the car became angry with the back seat driver....
21. Having Problems Concentrating Vagner: Aren’t you supposed to be studying for the Driver’s test? Liesl: I’m supposed to be, but I keep getting Distracted. Reading this Manual is Deadly. Vagner: I know, but if you don’t study, you’ll never pass the test. Try To focus. Liesl: I’ve tried To keep my mind on the rules of the road, […]...
22. Значение идиомы on the up and up [on the up and up] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Honest; trustworthy;sincere. We felt that he was honest and could be trusted. Thisinformation is on the up and up. Compare: ON THE LEVEL....
23. These two guys are car pooling home from work one day These two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone’s front lawn. “Look”, he shouts “What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?” The […]...
24. Перевод слова learn Learn – учиться, изучать Перевод слова To learn English – изучать английский язык to learn to swim – учиться плавать to learn by heart – учить наизусть to learn the good news – узнавать хорошие новости She is Learning to drive. Она учится водить машину. She’ll just have to Learn to live with it. Ей […]...
25. A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, “If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat.” The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. […]...
26. Education in Russia Citizens of Russia have the right for education which is guaranteed by the Constitution. The public educational system in our country incorporates pre-school, general school, specialized secondary and higher education. Pre-school consists of kindergartens and creches. Children there learn reading, writing and arithmetic. But pre-school education isn’t compulsory – children can get it at home. […]...
27. Marriage quotes 13 The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. – Groucho Marx The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are […]...
28. A truck driver breaks down and A truck driver breaks down and shortly another trucker stops to give him hand. He notices that the first driver has a big red spot painted on his dash and asks him what it’s for. He replies “Oh that’s a conversation piece for when I pick up female hitchhikers. I get lots of pussy that […]...
29. A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way down a one-way street when a policeman pulled him over. “Didn’t you see the arrow, buddy?” he asked. “An arrow?” the confused driver said. “I didn’t even see the Indians...
30. A woman, a bus and a baby A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver has just insulted me!” The man says, “There’s no call […]...
31. Bum in need of food One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. “Why are you eating grass?”, he asked one man. “We don’t have any money for food.”, The poor man replied. […]...
32. A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out of the cab with a big stick and bang on the side of the cargo bay. He’d then jump back into the cab in time to […]...
33. My position about wedding So, speaking about weddings, I would like to mention first that I don’t understand people, who are getting married at the age of 17-20, it’s hideous. Cause they don’t realize that they’ll break their lives by divesting themselves of the greatest years. Cause at that age they all are still children and children can only […]...
34. Books in Our Life “Books and friends should be few but good,” says an English proverb. “Except a living man there is nothing more wonderful than a book! They teach us and open their hearts to us as brothers,” wrote Charles Kingsley, an English writer of the 19th century. The book is certainly one of the greatest human inventions. […]...
35. Значение идиомы at face value [at face value] {prep. phr.} What one can actually hear, read, or see; literally. John is so honest that you can take his words at face value. This store’s advertisements are honest; take them at face value....
36. Значение идиомы go straight [go straight] {v. phr.}, {slang} To become an honest person; leadan honest life. After the man got out of prison, he went straight. Mr. Wright promised to go straight if the judge would let him gofree....
37. Значение идиомы turn an honest penny [turn an honest penny] {v. phr.} To realize a good profit. Tomturned an honest penny in the soybean trading business. Compare:PRETTY PENNY....
38. A man says to his wife A man says to his wife, “Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing.” Wife says, “I dont want to go.” Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se. Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says, “It tastes like sh*t. Man says, […]...
39. A lawyer named Strange died A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.” The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: […]...
40. A bad day There’s this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: “Come on man, I was […]...