Practical Joke

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1. A Practical Joke Joey: I’ve had it! I’m not going to Take it anymore. Rachel: What’s the matter? Joey: I’m sick and tired of Being the butt of Chandler’s Practical jokes. One of these days, he’s really going to get someone hurt. Rachel: Oh, no. What has he done now? Joey: I went back to my office after […]...
2. Playing a Practical Joke Patricia: What are you doing? Luis: I’m setting up a Practical joke for Bobby. I Can’t wait to see the look on his face when he walks outside and finds his bike In pieces. It’ll be the best Prank ever! Patricia: You’re not really going to take apart his bike, are you? Luis: I’ll Let […]...
3. Перевод слова practical Practical – практический, практичный, реальный Перевод слова By practical consideration – опытным путем practical experience – практический опыт good, practical housewife – хорошая, расчетливая хозяйка practical scheme – реальный план The course places emphasis on Practical work. Учебный курс, уделяет особое внимание практическим занятиям. The debate did not turn on any Practical proposition. Дебаты не […]...
4. Some practical jokes Smaller or larger tuxedo A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom’s tuxedo. After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either […]...
5. Перевод слова carpenter Carpenter – плотник, столяр Перевод слова Jobbing carpenter – наемный, приходящий плотник carpenter’s shop – плотничья мастерская carpenter’s tool – плотницкий инструмент a carpenter by profession – плотник по профессии The Carpenter did a mediocre job. Плотник сделал посредственный работу. He apprenticed with a master Carpenter for two years. Он работал подмастерьем у плотника в […]...
6. Outhouse joke A few years ago some members of the infamous Dartmouth Outing Club pushed an occupied one-seat outhouse off its foundations, onto its door. The victim tried in vain for a few minutes to roll the entire building onto a different side, but soon gave up, as it was too heavy. She then was forced to […]...
7. Yet another dorm joke Here’s one that my roommate and myself did to a residence buddy. One morning (early) we taped together a bunch of sheets of newspaper to cover the victims doorframe. Then taped this big sheet over the doorframe which left a gap of about two or three inches between the sheet and the door. Then we […]...
8. College bar joke When I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the […]...
9. And yet another college dorm joke I have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a […]...
10. Gas-tank joke This practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got. So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and […]...
11. Значение идиомы bottom [bottom] See: BET ONE’S BOOTS or BET ONE’S BOTTOM DOLLAR, FROM THE BOTTOM OF ONE’S HEART, FROM — TO –, GET TO THE BOTTOM OF, HIT BOTTOM or TOUCH BOTTOM, ROCK BOTTOM, SCRAPE THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL....
12. College cafeteria joke Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria. One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides. When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), […]...
13. Перевод идиомы crack a joke, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: crack a joke Перевод: рассказать шутку Пример: The man was a lot of fun at the party because he was always cracking jokes. Этот мужчина был очень забавен на вечере, потому что он все время рассказывал шутки....
14. Going to the Dentist I went to the dentist to get a Check-up and cleaning. I Showed up at the dentist’s office a few minutes before 10. I gave the receptionist my name and told her that I had a 10 a. m. appointment. She said that the doctor Was running a little latE and that I should take […]...
15. A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fellow dentists were facing. He said that one of his friends was touring a latex glove factory in Mexico, and saw how they make the gloves. One person would stick his hand in the melted latex, walk over to a vat […]...
16. Перевод слова bottom Bottom – низ, дно Перевод слова Bottom shelf – нижняя полка bottom fish – донная рыба bottom door – трап, люк It’s on the Bottom shelf. Это на нижней полке. The pants flare at the Bottom. Брюки книзу расширяются. He tripped on the Bottom step. Он споткнулся о нижнюю ступеньку....
17. Taking Care of Your Teeth Martha: Oh, I have a Toothache! George: It sounds like you’re In for a visit to the Dentist. Martha: That would be the Last resort. I hate going to the dentist. I don’t like needles and the sound of the Drill scares me to death. I’m hoping the toothache will just go away. George: You […]...
18. President Carter’s joke In an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke. He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story […]...
19. Phone joke II One night when you have a few friends around, take turns calling the same phone number, a really obnoxious acquaintance that won’t recognize your voices is always a good choice. When the person answers, try to leave a message for John Smith (or any name that sounds real). Insist that you have the right number […]...
20. A man and wife entered a A man and wife entered a dentist’s office. The Wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” You’re a brave woman said the dentist. Now, show me which tooth it is. The wife turns to her […]...
21. At a dentist’s Dentist: “Would you help me out? I’d like you to give a few of your loudest screams.” Patient: “Why, Doc? It isn’t all that bad this time.” Dentist: “Well, there are about 20 people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the five o’clock Braves game on Channel 4.”...
22. Перевод слова ordinary Ordinary – обычный, обыкновенный, повседневный Перевод слова Ordinary life – обычная жизнь ordinary habits – повседневные привычки ability above the ordinary – способности выше среднего in an ordinary way – обычным образом His books are very mean and Ordinary. Его книги очень посредственны и заурядны. We want to empower Ordinary citizens. Мы хотим поддержать обычных […]...
23. Gosh, what a pun! A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, “that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?” The man replies, “all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife […]...
24. Ex-Police car joke We have various local spots where the teenagers park, cruise, hold drag races, drink beer etc. We happen to own a white 1983 Dodge Diplomat, the exact kind of car used by the State Patrol around here as well as many law enforcement agencies nationwide. (Actually our car WAS a state patrol car, but that’s […]...
25. Значение идиомы hit bottom [hit bottom] or [touch bottom] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To be atthe very lowest. In August there was a big supply of corn and theprice hit bottom. When Johnny failed the exam his spirits hitbottom. 2. To live through the worst; not to be able to go any lower. After all their troubles, they thought […]...
26. A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, […]...
27. British Youth – Британская молодежь Most 18 and 19 year-olds in Britain are quite independent people. Relationships within the British family are different now. Children have more freedom to make their own decisions. For example, children aged 13 may be employed part time in Great Britain. Aged 16 they can leave home, marry with “parents’ consent”. Age 18 can vote, […]...
28. This woman goes into a dentist’s office This woman goes into a dentist’s office, after he is through examining her he says: “I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth.” The woman then says with anticipated agony, “Ooooohhhh, I’d rather have a baby!” To which the dentist replies: “Well make up your mind. […]...
29. The complaint letter from Judi The complaint letter from Judi: We blonds at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this […]...
30. Значение идиомы out of the ordinary [out of the ordinary] {adj. phr.} Outside or beyond commonexperience; unusual; wonderful; extraordinary. The parade will besomething out of the ordinary because a real king will be there. This juggler was out of the ordinary because he could juggle with hisfeet as well as his hands....
31. Значение идиомы bottom drop out [bottom drop out] or [bottom fall out] {v. phr.} {informal} 1. To fall below an earlier lowest price. The bottom dropped out of the price of peaches. 2. To lose all cheerful qualities; become very unhappy, cheerless, or unpleasant. The bottom dropped out of the day for John when he saw his report card. The […]...
32. Not so fast! Like a lot of young women these days, one of our secretaries had worked long and hard to put her boyfriend through college. After he graduated and passed his bar exam, I asked her if they planned to be married soon. She looked at me with a big smile and said, “Oh no! Not right […]...
33. Значение идиомы short [short] See: CAUGHT SHORT, FALL SHORT, FOR SHORT, IN BRIEF or INSHORT, IN SHORT ORDER, IN SHORT SUPPLY, MAKE SHORT WORK OF, RUN SHORT, SELL SHORT, THE LONG AND THE SHORT....
34. The newly married man came home from work The newly married man came home from work to find his new bride stretched languorously on the sofa, dressed in a negligee. “Guess what I got planned for dinner?” she asked seductively. “And don’t you dare tell me you had it for lunch today.”...
35. The dentist was called away from the dinner table to The dentist was called away from the dinner table to take an urgent phone call. It was Mr. Tuckerman, explaining that young Junior had gotten himself into quite a fix. “See, he was kissing his girlfriend, and when my wife and I came back from the movies we found them stuck together.” “I’ll come right […]...
36. Visiting Childcare Centers Adam: What’s that? Noelle: It’s a list of questions I’m going to ask at the Childcare center when we visit today. I want to be prepared. Adam: We already know that it’s Licensed and has a good Reputation. What other questions are you going to ask? Noelle: Lots. For instance, I want to know what […]...
37. April Fool’s Day Топик День дурака рассказывает о празднике, который еще называют “День смеха”. Это всемирный праздник, отмечаемый 1 апреля во многих странах. Во время этого праздника принято разыгрывать друзей и знакомых или просто подшучивать над ними. Впервые первоапрельские розыгрыши появились во Франции, а потом распространились по миру. Особенно этому празднику радуются дети. April Fool’s Day or all […]...
38. What Not to Name Your Dog Everybody has a dog called Rover or Spot. I call my dog “Sex”. When I went to city hall to buy a licence I told the clerk I wanted a licence for Sex. He said “I’d like one too.” But then I said “This is a dog.” He said he didn’t care what she looked […]...
39. Marriage quotes 02 Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage […]...
40. One day an older fella was in for a checkup One day an older fella was in for a checkup. After his examination, his doctor was amazed. “Holy cow! Mr. Edwards, I must say that you are in the greatest shape of any 64 year old I have ever examined!” “Did I say I was 64?” “Well, no, did I read your chart wrong?” “Damn […]...