Practical Joke

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1. A Practical JokeJoey: I’ve had it! I’m not going to Take it anymore. Rachel: What’s the matter? Joey: I’m sick and tired of Being the butt of Chandler’s Practical jokes. One of these days, he’s really going to get someone hurt. Rachel: Oh, no. What has he done now? Joey: I went back to my office after ... Читать далее...
2. Playing a Practical JokePatricia: What are you doing? Luis: I’m setting up a Practical joke for Bobby. I Can’t wait to see the look on his face when he walks outside and finds his bike In pieces. It’ll be the best Prank ever! Patricia: You’re not really going to take apart his bike, are you? Luis: I’ll Let ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова practicalPractical — практический, практичный, реальный Перевод слова By practical consideration — опытным путем practical experience — практический опыт good, practical housewife — хорошая, расчетливая хозяйка practical scheme — реальный план The course places emphasis on Practical work. Учебный курс, уделяет особое внимание практическим занятиям. The debate did not turn on any Practical proposition. Дебаты не ... Читать далее...
4. Some practical jokesSmaller or larger tuxedo A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom’s tuxedo. After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either ... Читать далее...
5. College bar jokeWhen I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the ... Читать далее...
6. It is all in the moneyA couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, «If it weren’t for my money, we wouldn’t be here at all!» The wife replied, «My dear, if it weren’t for your money, ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова honeymoonHoneymoon — медовый месяц Перевод слова To be on honeymoon — проводить медовый месяц to go for a honeymoon — поехать в свадебное путешествие honeymoon couple — молодожены, совершающие свадебное путешествие The neoteric fashion of spending a Honeymoon on the railway. Новая мода проводить медовый месяц в путешествии по железной дороге. They plan to Honeymoon ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова carpenterCarpenter — плотник, столяр Перевод слова Jobbing carpenter — наемный, приходящий плотник carpenter’s shop — плотничья мастерская carpenter’s tool — плотницкий инструмент a carpenter by profession — плотник по профессии The Carpenter did a mediocre job. Плотник сделал посредственный работу. He apprenticed with a master Carpenter for two years. Он работал подмастерьем у плотника в ... Читать далее...
9. Yet another dorm jokeHere’s one that my roommate and myself did to a residence buddy. One morning (early) we taped together a bunch of sheets of newspaper to cover the victims doorframe. Then taped this big sheet over the doorframe which left a gap of about two or three inches between the sheet and the door. Then we ... Читать далее...
10. Marrying YoungIrene: Damon and his girlfriend just got Engaged. They’re planning on getting Married this summer. Ken: They’re too young! Marrying young Poses all kinds of problems. Irene: Such as? Ken: Such as the two of them lacking Maturity. They may think it’s fun To play house right now, but they’re not prepared to face the ... Читать далее...
11. Gas-tank jokeThis practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got. So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and ... Читать далее...
12. And yet another college dorm jokeI have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод идиомы crack a joke, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: crack a joke Перевод: рассказать шутку Пример: The man was a lot of fun at the party because he was always cracking jokes. Этот мужчина был очень забавен на вечере, потому что он все время рассказывал шутки....
14. College cafeteria jokeSeven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria. One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides. When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), ... Читать далее...
15. Irish LaughsCasey married a rich widow, but they didn’t get along. One day she said to him, «If it wasn’t for my money, that new television wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for my money, that grand piano wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for my money, this house wouldn’t be here.» Casey mumbled, «If it ... Читать далее...
16. One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decidedOne day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with no experience. On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова marriedMarried — женатый, брачный Перевод слова Married man — женатый человек married name — фамилия по мужу married couple — супружеская пара So, how do you like Married life? Так, как тебе супружеская жизнь? She Married an Evans. Она вышла замуж за одного из Эвансов. I was Married to my job. Я был женат на ... Читать далее...
18. A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitaryA dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fellow dentists were facing. He said that one of his friends was touring a latex glove factory in Mexico, and saw how they make the gloves. One person would stick his hand in the melted latex, walk over to a vat ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы honeymoon is over[honeymoon is over] The first happy period of friendship andcooperation between two persons or groups is over. A few monthsafter a new President is elected, the honeymoon is over and Congressand the President begin to criticize each other. The honeymoon wassoon over for the new foreman and the men under him....
20. Egg jokeIn a similar vein, tell your victim that you have a test of coordination you would like him to try with you. Find a door with a fairly large crack between the door and the wall when the door is open. (You know, over by the hinges; across the width of the door from the ... Читать далее...
21. Going furtherA coupla Aggies, Buck and Thurleen, married after graduating from Texas A&M, are driving from Dallas down to a motel in Austin for their honeymoon. Along the way, Buck reaches over and puts his hand on Thurleen’s knee. Thurleen smiles, blushes and says, «Oh Buck, we’re married now, you can go farther than that!» So ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова coupleCouple — пара, два, двое Перевод слова A couple of apples — два яблока in a couple of days — через два-три дня loving couple — любящая пара «Are they a Couple?»No, they are just good friends.» «Они пара?»Нет, они просто хорошие друзья.» They’re an odd Couple. Они странная парочка. We spent a Couple of ... Читать далее...
23. Перевод слова apartmentApartment — квартира, апартаменты, жилище Перевод слова Dusky apartment — плохо освещенная комната next-door apartment — соседняя квартира private apartment — частная квартира They busted the Apartment. Они совершили налет на квартиру. Our Apartment is below theirs. Наша квартира находится ниже их. She lives in a small Apartment. Она живет в маленькой квартирке....
24. A couple married forty years were revisiting theA couple married forty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road. The woman said, «Sweetheart, let’s do the same thing we did here forty years ago.» The guy stopped the car. His ... Читать далее...
25. A couple, age 67, went to the doctors officeA couple, age 67, went to the doctor’s office. The doctor asked, «What can I do for you?» The man said, «Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?» The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, «There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.» And he then charged ... Читать далее...
26. Outhouse jokeA few years ago some members of the infamous Dartmouth Outing Club pushed an occupied one-seat outhouse off its foundations, onto its door. The victim tried in vain for a few minutes to roll the entire building onto a different side, but soon gave up, as it was too heavy. She then was forced to ... Читать далее...
27. The Seven-year ItchSunny: Did you hear the news? Nancy and Brian are Splitting up. Igor: How long have they been married? Sunny: Eight years. I’m sure it was the Seven-year itch. I bet Brian was Unfaithful to Nancy. Igor: How do you know? Maybe it was Nancy who had a Wandering eye. Sunny: Maybe, but It’s a ... Читать далее...
28. An old man and old woman got married and went on their honeymoonAn old man and old woman got married and went on their honeymoon. They were in bed getting ready to have sex for the first time and the old woman said I should tell you I have acute angina The old man says I hope so, you sure don’t have cute tits....
29. Phone joke IIOne night when you have a few friends around, take turns calling the same phone number, a really obnoxious acquaintance that won’t recognize your voices is always a good choice. When the person answers, try to leave a message for John Smith (or any name that sounds real). Insist that you have the right number ... Читать далее...
30. President Carter’s jokeIn an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke. He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story ... Читать далее...
31. Taking Care of Your TeethMartha: Oh, I have a Toothache! George: It sounds like you’re In for a visit to the Dentist. Martha: That would be the Last resort. I hate going to the dentist. I don’t like needles and the sound of the Drill scares me to death. I’m hoping the toothache will just go away. George: You ... Читать далее...
32. Really torrid honeymoonAfter the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The new husband looked at his bride and said, «You know what I really feel like honey?» «Well sure,» she ... Читать далее...
33. A man and wife entered aA man and wife entered a dentist’s office. The Wife said, «I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.» You’re a brave woman said the dentist. Now, show me which tooth it is. The wife turns to her ... Читать далее...
34. Перевод слова ordinaryOrdinary — обычный, обыкновенный, повседневный Перевод слова Ordinary life — обычная жизнь ordinary habits — повседневные привычки ability above the ordinary — способности выше среднего in an ordinary way — обычным образом His books are very mean and Ordinary. Его книги очень посредственны и заурядны. We want to empower Ordinary citizens. Мы хотим поддержать обычных ... Читать далее...
35. At a dentist’sDentist: «Would you help me out? I’d like you to give a few of your loudest screams.» Patient: «Why, Doc? It isn’t all that bad this time.» Dentist: «Well, there are about 20 people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the five o’clock Braves game on Channel 4.»...
36. Ex-Police car jokeWe have various local spots where the teenagers park, cruise, hold drag races, drink beer etc. We happen to own a white 1983 Dodge Diplomat, the exact kind of car used by the State Patrol around here as well as many law enforcement agencies nationwide. (Actually our car WAS a state patrol car, but that’s ... Читать далее...
37. Gosh, what a pun!A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, «that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?» The man replies, «all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife ... Читать далее...
38. An old retired man goes to his wife one dayAn old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, «I don’t know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I’m afraid we’re broke.» The wife says, «No, we’re not. Let’s go for a drive into town.» Husband replies, «Our savings are all gone and you ... Читать далее...
39. Some horse-playThe newlywed couple were checking into the hotel. The new groom approached the desk clerk. He said he wanted the best for they were on their honeymoon. The clerk asked the man if he wanted the bridal. «No,» he said, «I don’t believe I’ll need it. I’ll just grab onto her ears and hold on ... Читать далее...
40. Planning a WeddingSeamus: What’s that? Cathy: It’s a planning book for our Wedding. Seamus: We aren’t getting married for a year and a half. Cathy: I know, but there are so many things to plan. We have to book the Hall far in advance, you know, and once we Set the date, we have to send out ... Читать далее...