Johnny Depp: Why I Travel With My Captain Jack Sparrow Costume

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1. Is that your horseThe Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, «Who owns the big white horse outside?» The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, «I do. Why?» The cowboy looked at the ... Читать далее...
2. The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding downThe Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding down the trail all day. When they had stopped to take a rest Tonto placed his ear to the ground and listened. «Buffalo come,» remarked Tonto. «How can you tell, Tonto?» asked the Lone Ranger. «Face sticky.»...
3. The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding throughThe Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through one of the many canyons when suddenly rising from the hill on their right are hundreds of indians. They start to spur their horse forward when they realised that there are hundreds of indians ahead of them. Wheeling to the left they, once again, see hundreds of ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова captainCaptain — капитан Перевод слова To hold the rank of captain — иметь звание капитана captain’s shoulder straps — погоны капитана captain’s mate — помощник капитана They chose her as Captain. Ее выбрали капитаном. A general ranks a Captain. Генерал выше по званию, чем капитан. Captain is in close arrest. Капитан находится под строгим арестом. ... Читать далее...
5. For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycleFor his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycle. His father said, «Son, we’d love to give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.» The next day the father saw Little Johnny heading out the front ... Читать далее...
6. Little Johnny had become a real nuisanceLittle Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives. His father tried every way possible to get Johnny to occupy himself…television, ice cream, homework, video games…but the youngster insisted on running back and forth behind the players and calling out the ... Читать далее...
7. A disabled sea captainAn old sea captain with one wooden leg, one hook replacing a missing hand, and one missing eye goes into a bar. The sailor sitting next to him says, «You’re really in bad shape. What happened to your leg?» «I fell overboard,» says the Captain, «and before my mates could pull me aboard, a shark ... Читать далее...
8. Little Johnny’s mother decided to giveLittle Johnny’s mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson one day, so she took off all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina, and said, «Johnny. This is where you come from.» Johnny went to school the next day smiling and insisting all his friends now refer to him as «Lucky Johnny.» ... Читать далее...
9. Another costumeA guy goes into a costume shop. He says, «I’m going to a costume party, I want to go as Adam.» The girl brings out a fig leaf. He says, «Not big enough.» She brings out a bigger one. He says, «Still not big enough.» She brings out a huge fig leaf. He says, «Still ... Читать далее...
10. Little Johnny comes home from schoolLittle Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that «Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls,» and would his mother,»please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.» So johnny’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод идиомы before you can say Jack Robinson / quicker than you can say Jack Robinson, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: before you can say Jack Robinson / quicker than you can say Jack Robinson Перевод: очень быстро, почти моментально; не успеть и глазом моргнуть Пример: And before you could say Jack Robinson, the bird flew away. И не успел ты и глазом моргнуть, как птица улетела....
12. Перевод идиомы a jack-of-all-trades / a jack of all trades, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: a jack-of-all-trades / a jack of all trades Перевод: мастер на все руки Пример: We gave the man a job because we needed a jack-of-all-trades to look after the many repairs. Мы дали этому человеку работу потому, что нам нужен был мастер на все руки, который бы занялся всем тем, что нужно починить....
13. A merchant captain and several of his officersA merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after a big night ashore. As they climbed the gangway the captain threw up all over himself. Pointing to an apprentice seaman above him he shouted, «Give that man five days in the brig for vomiting on me!» The following morning the ... Читать далее...
14. Little Johnny is coming home from the storeLittle Johnny’s is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket. Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, «This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny.» He walks up to Little Johnny and says, ... Читать далее...
15. Little Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bedLittle Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, «Whatcha doin’ Daddy?» Johnny’s dad stoops over to cover up his dick and starts looking at the floor. «Oh, I’m just ... Читать далее...
16. Grandpa and Little Johnny are sittingGrandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, «Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?» Grandpa looks at him and says «No Johnny, I will not.» «But Grandpa, why?» asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies. «Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you ... Читать далее...
17. Little Johnny was late for schoolLittle Johnny was late for school. When he finally got there his teacher asked, «Why are you late little Johnny?» Johnny replied, «My grandpa got burnt, Miss.» The teacher replied, «I hope it wasn’t too bad.» Then little Johnny said, «Don’t worry, the crematorium doesn’t muck around!»...
18. The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, andThe teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and gets pissed off. She goes bitching to Little Johnny’s father. She comes to Little Johnny’s house and sees Little Johnny fucking a goat in the front yard. She walks in the house and screams to his father «Your son! Your son! He cussed in the school and now….now ... Читать далее...
19. One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume partyOne year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were. When one couple arrived he announced «Mickey and Minnie Mouse». As the next couple arrived he announced «Tarzan and Jane» and so on as each guest arrived. ... Читать далее...
20. Little Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroomLittle Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroom one day only catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of fucking his wife. Johnny’s father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little ... Читать далее...
21. Little Johnny — being logicalLittle Johnny A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, «little boy is your mother home?» Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, «what do you think?»...
22. Little Johnny walks into his primary schoolLittle Johnny walks into his primary school classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher. Teacher «Ahh, Good Morning Johnny, and where were you yesterday?» Johnny «I’m sorry Miss, but my Grandad got burnt yesterday.» Teacher, «Was he burned very bad?» Johnny, «Yes Mam, they don’t fuck around at these crematoriums you know....
23. Johnny missed his final exam due to the fluJohnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he’d done so well during the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he’d missed. The principal agrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about the oral test. First ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы jack up[jack up] {v.} 1. To lift with a jack. The man jacked up his carto fit a flat tire. 2. {informal} To make higher; raise. Just before Christmas, some stores jack up their prices....
25. Значение идиомы Johnny-on-the-spot[Johnny-on-the-spot] {adj. phr.} At the right place when needed;present and ready to help; very prompt; on time. A good waterboy isalways Johnny-on-the-spot. The firemen were Johnny-on-the-spot andput out the fire in the house soon after it started. Compare: ON THEJOB....
26. Little Johnny sat playing in the gardenLittle Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm. She turned pale. «No, Johnny! Stop! That’s horrible! You can’t eat worms!» Trying to convince him further, «Now the mother worm is looking all over for her nice baby-worm.» «No, she ... Читать далее...
27. An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a newAn army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, «But you just got a new pair last month!» «Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident,» stammered the private. «Accident, what kind of an accident?» ... Читать далее...
28. Little Johnny was in class againLittle Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone «Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?» Meg puts up her hand.»The sky is definitely blue.» «Thats not bad, Meg,» says the teacher, «but the sky can be grey or red.» Young Sally tried :»The grass is definitely green.» «Good try ... Читать далее...
29. Little Johnny goes into a pharmacy and asksLittle Johnny goes into a pharmacy and asks the chemist for some rubbers. The chemist puts a pack of rubbers on the counter. Johnny looks at the rubbers and asks the chemist if he has any other kind. The chemist goes into the back and brings out another pack. «Nah,» says Johnny, «what else do ... Читать далее...
30. Jack goes to the doctor and saysJack goes to the doctor and says «Doc I’m having trouble getting my penis erect, can you help me?» After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, «Well the problem is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There’s really nothing I can do for you unless you’re willing to try ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы jack of all trades[jack of all trades] {n.}, {informal} A person who is knowledgeable in many areas. Can beused as praise, or as a derogatory remark depending on the context andthe intonation. Peter is a jack of all trades; he can surviveanywhere! «How come Joe did such a sloppy job?» Mary asked. «He’sa jack of all trades,» Sally ... Читать далее...
32. Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noisesLate one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents’ bedroom. He got out of bed and walked down the hall towards his parents room. Before he made it to the end of the hall, the noises had ceased and the bathroom light had gone on. Little Johnny walked ... Читать далее...
33. Little Johnny catches his parents going at itLittle Johnny catches his parents going at it. He yells in, «Hey, Pop! What are you doin’?» His father says, «Son, I’m filling your mother’s tank.» Johnny says, «Oh, yeah? Well, you better get a model that gets better mileage. The postman filled her this morning.»...
34. Touring Celebrity Homes and Filming LocationsTour guide: Welcome to Hollywood Tours, everybody. I’m your Tour guide for today, and I’ll be showing you some of the most Memorable locations in Hollywood history. Every seat in this Double-decker bus is a good one, and you’ll be able to see every Landmark we drive by. Uh, do you have a question? Elvira: ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод идиомы Johnny-come-lately, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: Johnny-come-lately Перевод: вновь прибывший, новичок Пример: He’s a Johnny-come-lately and doesn’t really know what he is talking about. Он еще новичок и он не понимает, о чем говорит....
36. Little Johnny was in his math’s class one dayLittle Johnny was in his math’s class one day when the teacher singled him out. «If I gave you $20,» the teacher began,» and you gave $5 to Mary, $5 to Sally and $5 to Susan, what would you have?» «An orgy,» Johnny answered....
37. Значение идиомы before one can say Jack Robinson[before one can say Jack Robinson] {adv. cl.}, {informal} Very quickly; suddenly. — An overused phrase. Before I could say Jack Robinson, the boy was gone. Compare: IN A FLASH, RIGHT AWAY....
38. The Captain’s Story на английском языке писателя Mark TwainThere was a good deal of pleasant gossip about old Captain ‘Hurricane’ Jones, of the Pacific Ocean-peace to his ashes! Two or three of us present had known him; I, particularly well, for I had made four sea — voyages with him. He was a very remarkable man. He was born on a ship; he ... Читать далее...
39. Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirthLittle Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, «How was I born?» «The stork brought you to us.» «Oh,» said Little Johnny. «Well, how did you and daddy get born?» he asked. «Oh, the stork brought us too.» «So. . . how were grandpa and grandma born?» «Well, darling, the stork ... Читать далее...
40. Nice, but roughAn elephant was having a horrible time in the jungle because a horsefly kept biting near her tail and there was nothing she could do about it. It was far out of reach. A sparrow saw this and killed the horsefly with its beak. «Oh, thank you!» said the elephant. «My, pleasure ma’am.» said the ... Читать далее...