It’s a sin

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1. Wife-taming methodTwo married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, «You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. ... Читать далее...
2. A guy was trying to console a friendA guy was trying to console a friend who’d just found his wife in bed with another man. «Get over it, buddy,» he said. «It’s not the end of the world.» «It’s all right for you to say,» answered his buddy. «But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова frankFrank — откровенный, искренний Перевод слова To be frank — говоря откровенно frank manner — открытая манера держаться frank acknowledgment — искренняя благодарность She was Frank with us about everything. Она ничего не скрывала от нас. Our teacher is very Frank about telling his students. Наш преподаватель очень откровенен со своими студентами. His manner was ... Читать далее...
4. If she went out with meA man had been out in the back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn’t smell very good. Finally he needed a break and came in to town for a few beers. In the bar, he saw the local jock of the town’s football team. He was bragging about his ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова partnerPartner — партнер, соучастник, супруг Перевод слова Dancing partner — партнер по танцам bad partner — сожитель; сожительница a partner in crime — соучастник преступления nominal partner — номинальный член товарищества Assign each student a Partner. Назначьте каждому студенту напарника. Him and me, we Partnered once. Однажды мы с ним имели дело. Set to your ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова fileFile — скоросшиватель, документы, файл Перевод слова Do we have your application on file? — вы уже подали заявление? to read one’s own personal file — прочитать свое личное дело file device — файловое устройство His wife’s Filing for divorce. Его жена подает на развод. These documents are kept on File. Эти документы подшиты к ... Читать далее...
7. Two buddies get together and decide toTwo buddies get together and decide to go to a whorehouse, one of them tired of doing it with his wife all the time, the other not having it done for a long time. Anyways the married one goes up and comes down and says » My wife is much better». «Allright» goes the other ... Читать далее...
8. Solve Indian puzzlesAn Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова birthBirth — рождение Перевод слова An artist by birth — художник по призванию normal birth — ничем не осложненное появление на свет of noble birth — знатного происхождения She gave Birth to a son. Она родила сына. What’s your date of Birth? Какова ваша дата рождения? He has been Deaf since birth. Он был глухой ... Читать далее...
10. True loveThree men were drinking at a bar — a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, «For her birthday, I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love me ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова divorceDivorce — развод, расторжение брака Перевод слова Divorce by proxy — развод по доверенности to file for divorce — подавать на развод a divorce proceedings — бракоразводный процесс It is difficult to Divorce sport from politics. Трудно отделять спорт от политики. Their marriage ended in Divorce. Их брак закончился разводом. This famous actress has been ... Читать далее...
12. A man comes to a doctor andA man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, «Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?» «Oh, that’s not a problem for us men anymore!» announces a proud physician, «They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You ... Читать далее...
13. Travel with a horseAn out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, «Pull, Nellie, pull!» Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, «Pull, Buster, pull!» Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer ... Читать далее...
14. Two friends were out drinkingTwo friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor. «One thing about Jim,» his buddy said to the bartender, «he knows when to stop.»...
15. Following a bitter divorceFollowing a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and sneered, «You know, I was a fool when I married you.» The wife simply sighed and replied, «Yes, dear, I know, but I was in love and didn’t really notice.»...
16. Sexually activeA REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. THE DR. ASKS,»IS YOUR DAUGHTER SEXUALLY ACTIVE?» THE REDNECK SAYS,»NAW, SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER. Sent by BOBBY...
17. I was out with one of my best drinking buddiesI was out with one of my best drinking buddies, George, and he was talking about marriage, and then his wife. He drank some, then said, «Well, what it comes down to Jimmy, is… well… my wife knows nothing of my wants and needs… she’s hardly ever in the mood for sex… I guess what ... Читать далее...
18. This old man in his eighties got up and was putting onThis old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, «Where are you going?» He said, «I’m going to the doctor.» And she said, «Why? Are you sick?» «No,» he said. «I’m going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.» So his wife got up out ... Читать далее...
19. Eating Junk FoodFrank: Hand me That bag of Potato chips. Katie: Here. You mean you’re still hungry after two Burgers and French fries? Frank: Yeah, I am. I’m a growing boy. Where’s the Popcorn? Katie: I can’t believe we’re eating all of this Junk food. I’m supposed To be watching what I eat. Frank: Forget about it. ... Читать далее...
20. The people are waitingUpon returning to their car from a shopping tour, one of the young ladies realized that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth control pills. She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her prescription to the pharmacist. «Please fill this immediately,» she asked. «I’ve got people waiting in my car!»...
21. A little town had a high birth rate thatA little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got a huge chunk of money; hired a few additional sociologists, anthropologist and a family planning and birth control specialist; moved to town; rented offices; set up their computers; got ... Читать далее...
22. One day a lady went to the doctors officeOne day a lady went to the doctor’s office and told the doctor that her husband wasn’t interested in her any more he just wouldn’t have sex with her anymore. So the doctor went into the back of the shop and got a bottle of 100 pills. He told her that «if you give your ... Читать далее...
23. A hearing problemAn elderly man thinking his wife was losing her hearing went about 20′ behind her and asked «Can you hear me sweetheart»?. No reply. Moved to 10′ and inquired again. No reply. 5′ and not a word. A few inches behind ear, he asked «Can you hear me now honey»? His wife said «For the ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы under one’s heel[under one’s heel] {adv. phr.} In one’s power or control. If onemarriage partner always wants to keep the other person under his orher heel, it is not a happy or democratic arrangement and may lead toa divorce....
25. Having a Best FriendLucy: I’m so excited! My friend, Marlene, is coming to town for a visit. Buddy: Have I met Marlene? Lucy: No, I don’t think so. We Grew up together and we were always Joined at the hip. Buddy: When I was little, I had a friend like that. We were Blood brothers. Lucy: Yeah, Marlene ... Читать далее...
26. The guide to wife translationsThe wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова supplySupply — запас, провиант; снабжать, поставлять Перевод слова Goods are in short supply — запасы товаров истощаются food supplies — запасы продовольствия to supply an army with provisions — снабжать армию продовольствием We can Supply all yours wants. Мы можем удовлетворить все ваши запросы. We can Supply the goods from our main store. Мы можем ... Читать далее...
28. Getting a Marriage LicenseYves: Help me fill out this Application for our Marriage license. Vanessa: Can’t you do it? I’m really busy with work right now. Do as much as you can and just ask me if you don’t know something. Yves: Okay, I’ll try, but I’m reading through the requirements, and it’s a good idea for both ... Читать далее...
29. Perfectly good eyesightTwo really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of golf together. They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the second, «My eyesight isn’t what it used to be. Can you watch my ball for me?». The second guy says, «Sure! I see ... Читать далее...
30. Some time after their bitter divorceSome time after their bitter divorce, a man happened to pull up alongside his ex-wife at a traffic signal. He shouted over, «So… out looking for a little, huh?» She smiled sweetly and said, «No, I had 6 years of that with you. I’m out looking for a lot!!!»...
31. Naming the kidsOne day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard’s idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But when Mr. Phillard saw the blood and everything else, he fainted. When Mr. Phillard woke up he was in a bed with the doctor standing ... Читать далее...
32. StrategyThe middle aged secretary had never been married and had had enuff of work, as well as the single life. It was no secret that she was looking to get married. As she came back from her lunch hour with another bag from the drug store, a co-worker said, «In the past 3 weeks you’ve ... Читать далее...
33. Getting a DivorceNicole: I’m really sorry to hear about you and Catherine getting a Divorce. Tom: I appreciate it, but it was A long time coming. We’ve been heading toward divorce for years. I just hope it doesn’t get too Messy. Nicole: I don’t mean To pry, but didn’t the two of you have a Prenup? Tom: ... Читать далее...
34. Nancy Reagan is the celebrity contestant on PasswordNancy Reagan is the celebrity contestant on Password. It’s her turn to guess the word. Voice Over: And the password is. . . black dick! Nancy: Um. . . is it a place? Her partner: No. Nancy: Is it a person? Her partner: No. Nancy: Hmm, then it must be a thing. Um, is it ... Читать далее...
35. Divorce decision«Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,» the divorce court judge said, «and I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.» «That’s very fair, your honor,» the husband said. «And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.»...
36. Two couples decide to spend the weekend away togetherTwo couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial. After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, «Wow! This is the very best sex I had in ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы give birth to[give birth to] {v. phr.} 1. To bear live offspring. The mothergave birth to twin baby girls. 2. To bring about; create; occasion. Beethoven gave birth to a new kind of symphony....
38. He is a very fast drinkerA man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, «What’ll it be buddy?» The man says, «Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles.» The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and ... Читать далее...
39. Dealing with criminalsA local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. «You just won’t believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force I’ve never seen anything like it.» «Oh yes dear, what happened?» «I came across two guys down by the canal, one ... Читать далее...
40. A farmer walked into an attorney officeA farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, «May I help you?» The farmer said, «Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce’s.» The attorney said, «well do you have any grounds?» The farmer said, «Yea, I got about 140 acres.» The attorney said, » No, ... Читать далее...