How to hunt elephants – Lawyers style

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1. How to Hunt Elephants – Sales Style Salespeople don’t hunt elephants but spend their time selling elephants they haven’t caught, for delivery two days before the season opens. Software salespeople ship the first thing they catch and write up an invoice for an elephant. Hardware salespeople catch rabbits, paint them gray and sell them as “desktop elephants.” Sent by Alex...
2. How to Hunt Elephants – VP Style When the Vice President of R&D tries to hunt elephants, his staff will try to ensure that all elephants are completely prehunted before he sees them. If the VP sees a nonprehunted elephant, the staff will (1) Compliment the vice president’s keen eyesight and (2) enlarge itself to prevent any recurrence. Sent by Alex...
3. How to Hunt Elephants – Math style Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left. Professors of mathematics prove the existence of at least one elephant and leave the capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for one of their graduate students. Sent by Alex...
4. How to Hunt Elephants – Comp Sci Style Computer scientists hunt elephants using algorithm A: 1. Go to Africa 2. Start at the Cape of Good Hope 3. Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the continent alternately East and West. 4. During each traverse a. Catch each animal seen b. Compare each animal caught to a known elephant c. Stop when a […]...
5. Elephants IX Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant: The French book – The Sex Life of the Elephant or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant The English book – Elephants I have shot on Safari The Welsh book – The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and culture or: Oes ysgol tocynnau eleffant […]...
6. Tarzania What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance? “Look, a herd of elephants in the distance” What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses in the distance? Nothing. He doesn’t recognize them. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in […]...
7. Перевод слова hunt Hunt – охота, преследование; охотиться, ловить Перевод слова Fox hunt – охота на лис the hunt is up – преследование началось to hunt for wolf – охотиться на волков The police are still Hunting the killer. Полиция все еще разыскивает убийцу Wolves Hunt in packs. Волки охотятся стаями. The kids were Hunting for shells on […]...
8. Lawyers as lab rats The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch. 1. The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little […]...
9. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?...
10. The best book on elephants The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants. The British submited a dry historical account “The Elephant and the British Empire.” The French submited a text “The Sensuality of the Elephant – a Personal Account.” The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled “An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of […]...
11. Значение идиомы hunt and peck [hunt and peck] {n. phr.}, {informal} Picking out typewriter keysby sight, usually with one or two fingers; not memorizing the keys. Many newspaper reporters do their typing by hunt and peck. – Oftenused, with hyphens, as an adjective. Mr. Barr taught himself totype, and he uses the hunt-and-peck system....
12. Значение идиомы hunt up [hunt up] {v.} To find or locate by search. When John was inChicago, he hunted up some old friends. The first thing Fred hadto do was to hunt up a hotel room....
13. Elephants found to understand human pointing without training A study by researchers from the University St Andrews has found that elephants are the only wild animals that can understand human pointing without being trained. In the study, published in Current Biology, the researchers show that a group of 11 captive Zimbabwean elephants, which were used to following vocal instructions but weren’t trained to […]...
14. Значение идиомы witch-hunt [witch-hunt] {n. phr.} A hysterical movement during which peopleare persecuted for having views considereddifferent or unpopular. During the McCarthy era many innocentAmericans were accused of being Communists, as Republican patriotismdeteriorated into a witch-hunt....
15. History of lawyers Why God Created Lawyers Satan was complaining bitterly to God, “You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. Yet people worship […]...
16. Elephants recognize the voices of their enemies African elephants can distinguish human languages, genders and ages associated with danger. Humans are among the very few animals that constitute a threat to elephants. Yet not all people are a danger – and elephants seem to know it. The giants have shown a remarkable ability to use sight and scent to distinguish between African […]...
17. Elephants III How do you get an elephant into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Insert elephant. 3. Close door. How do you get a giraffe into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Insert giraffe. 4. Close door. How do you know there are *two* elephants in your fridge? The door won’t close. How […]...
18. Перевод слова style Style – стиль, манера Перевод слова The style of court – стиль судебных бумаг free-style swimming – плавание вольным стилем infelicities of style – стилистические погрешности He smoothed out his Style. Он совершенствовал свой стиль. He is a great mixer of Style. У него прекрасно получается смешивать стили. Any Style can be parodied. Спародировать можно […]...
19. Tarzania II What is the difference between en elephant and a plum? An elephant is grey. What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance? “Look! A herd of plums in the distance” (Jane is colorblind)...
20. Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer: In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand – a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes I do know […]...
21. Lawyers on a jury A trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with […]...
22. Lawyers arrive in Japan Source: Sunday Daily Breeze Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan’s well-oiled economic machine. It’s only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail. What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it’s something much more economically […]...
23. Lawyers are greedy A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeeemer!!!”, he whined. “You lawyers are so […]...
24. Значение идиомы cramp one’s style [cramp one’s style] {v. phr.}, {informal} To limit your natural freedom; prevent your usual behavior; limit your actions or talk. He cramped his style a good deal when he lost his money. Army rules cramped George’s style....
25. Перевод слова herd Herd – стадо, толпа; собирать вместе Перевод слова Herd instinct – стадное чувство a herd of parasites – толпа бездельников a herd of bicyclists – стайка велосипедистов a herd of horses – табун лошадей They Herded the students into the auditorium. Они согнали студентов в актовый зал. The horses were Herded into the corral. Лошадей […]...
26. Question and answer Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: […]...
27. Значение идиомы ride herd on [ride herd on] {v. phr.} 1. To patrol on horseback around a herd ofanimals to see that none of them wanders away. Two cowboys rodeherd on the cattle being driven to market. 2. {informal} To watchclosely and control; take care of. A special legislative assistantrides herd on the bills the president is anxious to have […]...
28. Значение идиомы run with the hare and hunt with the hounds [run with the hare and hunt with the hounds] {v. phr.} Toappear to support both parties in a conflict; to conduct things inambiguous ways. Critics accused the king of running with the hareand hunting with the hounds....
29. Значение идиомы hunt down [hunt down] {v.} 1. To pursue and capture; look hard for an animalor person until found and caught. The police hunted down theescaped prisoner. Compare: TRACK DOWN. 2. To search for until one finds it. Professor Jones hunted down the writtenmanuscript in the Library of Congress. Syn.: TRACK DOWN....
30. Перевод идиомы head hunt, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: head hunt Перевод: “охотиться за головами”; заниматься поиском высококвалифицированных специалистов, узконаправленных работников Пример: The headhunters are looking for good computer programmers. Охотники за головами ищут хороших программистов....
31. Wigs and Lawyers В топике Парики и юристы рассказывается история появления в Англии столь знакомых нам белых, завитых и напудренных париков. Хотя за многовековую историю парики не раз отменяли, потом вводили снова, расписывали условия, при которых парики необходимы, они и по сей день являются непременным атрибутом британских судей и адвокатов. English legal dress has a long history. The […]...
32. If If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed and dry cleaners depressed? Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will be deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ […]...
33. Alaskan tourism If you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public service announcement: In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear country. The bells warn away MOST bears (brown, black, etc.), but be careful because they don’t scare Grizzly Bears. Tourists are cautioned to […]...
34. Перевод слова software Software – программное обеспечение Перевод слова Friendly software – “дружественное” программное обеспечение software packing – комплект программного обеспечения software compatibility – программная совместимость The Software was developed in-house. Программное обеспечение было разработано внутри фирмы. The Software is due to ship next month. Ожидается, что эта программа поступит в продажу в следующем месяце. Microsoft dominates the […]...
35. Перевод идиомы go out of fashion / go out of style, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: go out of fashion / go out of style Перевод: выйти из моды, устареть Пример: Striped pants have recently gone out of fashion. Полосатые брюки недавно вышли из моды....
36. A disabled sea captain An old sea captain with one wooden leg, one hook replacing a missing hand, and one missing eye goes into a bar. The sailor sitting next to him says, “You’re really in bad shape. What happened to your leg?” “I fell overboard,” says the Captain, “and before my mates could pull me aboard, a shark […]...
37. Мой любимый стиль музыки/ My Favourite Music Style На английском языке Перевод на русский язык My Favourite Music Style Мой любимый стиль музыки My name is Alexandra and I’m 15 years old. My hobbies are listening to music and roller-skating. Sometimes I combine these two activities. I simply can’t imagine a day without music. Moreover, I like almost all types of music, be […]...
38. Having a Business Mentor Alex: Where are you going? Kenya: I’m going to meet my business Mentor. Alex: Your business mentor? What do you do with a business mentor? Kenya: Well, my mentor is like an Advisor. We meet Regularly and I get her Feedback and Guidance with my ideas on starting a business. Alex: Oh, so you’re her […]...
39. Buffalo analogy A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps […]...
40. Academics Write Papers Arguing Over How Many People Read (And Cite) Their Papers There are a lot of scientific papers out there. One estimate puts the count at 1.8 million articles published each year, in about 28,000 journals. Who actually reads those papers? According to one 2007 study, not many people: half of academic papers are read only by their authors and journal editors, the study’s authors write. […]...