How to Hunt Elephants – Comp Sci Style

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1. How to Hunt Elephants – Math style Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left. Professors of mathematics prove the existence of at least one elephant and leave the capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for one of their graduate students. Sent by Alex...
2. How to Hunt Elephants – VP Style When the Vice President of R&D tries to hunt elephants, his staff will try to ensure that all elephants are completely prehunted before he sees them. If the VP sees a nonprehunted elephant, the staff will (1) Compliment the vice president’s keen eyesight and (2) enlarge itself to prevent any recurrence. Sent by Alex...
3. How to Hunt Elephants – Sales Style Salespeople don’t hunt elephants but spend their time selling elephants they haven’t caught, for delivery two days before the season opens. Software salespeople ship the first thing they catch and write up an invoice for an elephant. Hardware salespeople catch rabbits, paint them gray and sell them as “desktop elephants.” Sent by Alex...
4. How to hunt elephants – Lawyers style How to hunt elephants – Lawyer’s style Lawyers don’t hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around arguing about who owns the droppings. Software lawyers will claim that they own an entire herd based on the look and feel of one dropping. Sent by Alex...
5. Elephants IX Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant: The French book – The Sex Life of the Elephant or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant The English book – Elephants I have shot on Safari The Welsh book – The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and culture or: Oes ysgol tocynnau eleffant […]...
6. Refrigerate elephants Analysis: 1. Differentiate it and put into the refrig. Then integrate it in the refrig. 2. Redefine the measure on the referigerator (or the elephant). 3. Apply the Banach-Tarsky theorem. Number theory: 1. First factorize, second multiply. 2. Use induction. You can always squeeze a bit more in. Algebra: 1. Step 1. Show that the […]...
7. The best book on elephants The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants. The British submited a dry historical account “The Elephant and the British Empire.” The French submited a text “The Sensuality of the Elephant – a Personal Account.” The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled “An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of […]...
8. Elephants III How do you get an elephant into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Insert elephant. 3. Close door. How do you get a giraffe into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Insert giraffe. 4. Close door. How do you know there are *two* elephants in your fridge? The door won’t close. How […]...
9. Перевод идиомы head hunt, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: head hunt Перевод: “охотиться за головами”; заниматься поиском высококвалифицированных специалистов, узконаправленных работников Пример: The headhunters are looking for good computer programmers. Охотники за головами ищут хороших программистов....
10. Перевод слова modify Modify – видоизменять; снижать, смягчать Перевод слова To modify the sentence – смягчать приговор to modify an instruction – модифицировать команду to modify plans – корректировать планы She has Modified her views on the matter. Она изменила свои взгляды на дело. We can help you Modify an existing home or build a new one. Мы […]...
11. A fair warning Tourist guide at zoo: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the elephant, the largest animal to roam the lands. Every day the elephant eats 3 dozen bunches of bananas, 6 tons of hay, and 2000 pounds of assorted fruits. Madam, please don’t stand near the elephant’s backside…. Madam, PLEASE don’t stand near the elephant’s backside… MADAM… […]...
12. Значение идиомы hunt down [hunt down] {v.} 1. To pursue and capture; look hard for an animalor person until found and caught. The police hunted down theescaped prisoner. Compare: TRACK DOWN. 2. To search for until one finds it. Professor Jones hunted down the writtenmanuscript in the Library of Congress. Syn.: TRACK DOWN....
13. Elephants found to understand human pointing without training A study by researchers from the University St Andrews has found that elephants are the only wild animals that can understand human pointing without being trained. In the study, published in Current Biology, the researchers show that a group of 11 captive Zimbabwean elephants, which were used to following vocal instructions but weren’t trained to […]...
14. Nice, but rough An elephant was having a horrible time in the jungle because a horsefly kept biting near her tail and there was nothing she could do about it. It was far out of reach. A sparrow saw this and killed the horsefly with its beak. “Oh, thank you!” said the elephant. “My, pleasure ma’am.” said the […]...
15. Перевод слова elephant Elephant – слон Перевод слова Work elephant – рабочий слон he can’t hit an elephant – он и в слона-то не попадет an elephant in a china shop – неуклюжий и бестактный человек The passerby was trampled by an Elephant. Прохожего затоптал слон. They nearly equalled the Elephant in size. По размеру они почти сравнялись […]...
16. Перевод слова ensure Ensure – гарантировать, обеспечить Перевод слова To ensure independence – обеспечить независимость to ensure an income – гарантировать доход we cannot ensure success – мы не можем ручаться за успех Ensure that a printer is installed. Убедитесь, что принтер установлен. The book Ensured his success. Эта книга принесла ему успех. We will Ensure equal opportunities […]...
17. Elephants recognize the voices of their enemies African elephants can distinguish human languages, genders and ages associated with danger. Humans are among the very few animals that constitute a threat to elephants. Yet not all people are a danger – and elephants seem to know it. The giants have shown a remarkable ability to use sight and scent to distinguish between African […]...
18. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard II Use computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer, it looks like “work” to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would […]...
19. Значение идиомы catch fire [catch fire] {v. phr.} 1. To begin to burn. When he dropped a match in the leaves, they caught fire. 2. To become excited. The audience caught fire at the speaker’s words and began to cheer. His imagination caught fire as he read....
20. Перевод слова match Match – ровня, пара, подходить, сочетать; матч Перевод слова He’s no match for her – он ей не пара they are a good match – они подходят друг другу to match well – точно соответствовать to match colours – подбирать цвета to match images – совмещать изображения These colours don’t Match. Эти цвета плохо сочетаются. […]...
21. Значение идиомы catch up [catch up] {v.} 1. To take or pick up suddenly; grab. She caught up the book from the table and ran out of the room. 2. To capture or trap in a situation; concern or interest very much. – Usually used in the passive with “in”. The Smith family was caught up in the war […]...
22. There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant’s tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when […]...
23. ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEETS WINDOWS95 ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEETS WINDOWS95 Costello: Hey, Abbott! Abbot: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just got my first computer. Abbot: That’s great Lou. What did you get? Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM. Abbot: That’s terrific, Lou. Costello: But I don’t know what any […]...
24. How to Catch a White Elephant How to Catch a White Elephant ============================= Submitted By Niels Kristian Jensen Go to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you a muffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close, drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant will be happy, and eat the […]...
25. Attempts by the dumb SIX DIE TRYING TO SAVE CHICKEN – August 1, 1995 CAIRO, Egypt (AP) – Six people drowned yesterday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18-year-old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the water pulled […]...
26. An ant and an elephant share a night of romance An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. Next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. “Damn”, says the ant, “one night of passion and I spend the rest of my life digging a grave!”...
27. A change of style Two men were changing in the locker room after a game of tennis. One notices the other one is putting on pair of stockings and suspenders. He says “When did you start wearing them?” To which the other man replies “Since my wife found a pair on the back seat of the car.”...
28. Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, “Mummy, what is that long thing?” His mother replies, “That, son, […]...
29. This man goes into the doctor with his This man goes into the doctor with his ringhole in a terrible state, really bad now. Doctor: “What happened to you?” He says: “I was in Africa on safari and I got raped by an elephant!” Doctor: “But I don’t understand. Elephant penises are very narrow and couldn’t cause that much damage!” He says “Aah […]...
30. Tarzania II What is the difference between en elephant and a plum? An elephant is grey. What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance? “Look! A herd of plums in the distance” (Jane is colorblind)...
31. Перевод слова computer Computer – компьютер Перевод слова Personal computer – персональный компьютер all-purpose computer – многоцелевой компьютер to run a computer – работать на компьютере My Computer’s gone haywire. С моим комьютером происходит что-то неладное. My Computer went nuts on me. Мой компьютер стал выдавать мне какую-то ерунду. My Computer is working slow. Мой компьютер работает медленно. […]...
32. Значение идиомы on the fly [on the fly ] {adv. phr.} 1. While in the air; in flight. Thebird caught a bug on the fly. Joe was called out because thecatcher caught the ball on the fly. 2. {informal} Between otheractivities; while busy with many things. The president was so busythat he had to dictate letters on the fly. John […]...
33. Значение идиомы white elephant [white elephant] {n. phr.} Unwanted property, such as real estate, that is hard to sell. That big house of theirs on the corner sureis a white elephant....
34. Wounded elephant seeks help from safari lodge after being shot by poachers An alarming sight to be sure – Ben, an injured bull elephant, approached the lodge to ask for help. IF YOU need further proof that elephants are highly-intelligent animals, this is it. Ben, an injured bull elephant – thought to be 30-years-old – gave staffers at the Bumi Hills Safari Lodge in Kariba, Zimbabwe the […]...
35. Значение идиомы know one’s way around [know one’s way around] or [know one’s way about] {v. phr.} 1. Tounderstand how things happen in the world; he experienced in the waysof the world. The sailor had been in the wildest ports in theworld. He knew his way around. Compare: HAVE BEEN AROUND. 2. or{informal} [know one’s onions] or [know one’s stuff] To […]...
36. Перевод слова animal Animal – животное, зверь Перевод слова Dumb animal – бессловесная тварь animal fat – животный жир free animal – животное, находящееся на свободе Man is a rational Animal. Человек – это разумное животное. She loves all kinds of Animals. Она любит все виды животных. The Animal died a painful death. Животное умерло мучительной смертью. Примеры […]...
37. One day the teacher decides to play an animal game One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?” Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a […]...
38. Перевод сленгового выражения gibberish, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: gibberish Перевод: невнятная, непонятная речь; тарабарщина Синоним: gobbledegook; mumbo jambo Пример: The stranger sat on the bench speaking gibberish to himself. Незнакомец сидел на скамейке и говорил себе что-то невнятное. Sometimes it sounds like the computer programmers are speaking in gibberish. I’m sure the code stands for something though. Иногда кажется, будто программисты […]...
39. Перевод слова style Style – стиль, манера Перевод слова The style of court – стиль судебных бумаг free-style swimming – плавание вольным стилем infelicities of style – стилистические погрешности He smoothed out his Style. Он совершенствовал свой стиль. He is a great mixer of Style. У него прекрасно получается смешивать стили. Any Style can be parodied. Спародировать можно […]...
40. Значение идиомы keep up [keep up] {v.} 1a. To go on; not stop; continue. The rain keptup for two days and the roads were flooded. Compare: KEEP ON. 1b. Togo on with ; continue steadily; never stop. Mrs. Smithtold John to keep up the good work. The teacher asked Dick to stopbothering Mary, but he kept it up. Compare: […]...