Главная ⇒ 📌Jokes ⇒ How Army policy began

How Army policy began

This is Army policy all begins…

Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result — all the apes are sprayed with cold water.

Continue until, when another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes try to prevent it.

Now, turn off the cold water.

Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.

After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not?

«Because that’s the way it’s always been around here.»

That’s how Army policy begins…



Топик season.
My best friend по английскому языку.

Related topics:

  1. Перевод слова policyPolicy — политика, система, методика Перевод слова Carrot-and-stick policy — политика кнута и пряника first-in-first-out policy — очередность обслуживания в порядке поступления employment policy — политика полной занятости to adopt a policy — принимать курс Honesty is the best Policy. Честность — лучшая политика. It was bad Policy to attempt disguise. Притворяться было глупо. The ... Читать далее...
  2. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the MeadowlandsThere’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on ... Читать далее...
  3. Перевод слова armyArmy — армия Перевод слова Army brass — командующий армией to organize an army — создать армию to raise an army — собрать армию I was an Army brat. Я была армия, брат. The Army was disranked. Армия была дезорганизована. The Army surged forward Армия рванулась вперед. Интересные факты In the Army Now — семнадцатый ... Читать далее...
  4. The Army Airborne major was used to harassmentThe Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. «Obviously the Air Force knows there’s no such thing as a ‘perfectly good aircraft,'» the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, «because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in ... Читать далее...
  5. Значение идиомы open-door policy[open-door policy] {n. phr.} A policy that states that newcomersare welcome to join the company, firm, or country in question. During the nineteenth century the United States had an open-doorpolicy regarding immigration....
  6. There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man forThere was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for a soldier and propositioned him. The Salvation Army gent said, «Ma’am, you may be forgiven, as a pitiable victim of circumstances. Tell me, are you familiar with the concept of ‘original sin’?» The hooker replied, «Well, maybe and maybe not. But if it’s «really» ... Читать далее...
  7. Пословица / поговорка honesty is the best policy — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: honesty is the best policy Перевод: честность — лучшая политика; лучше всегда говорить правду Пример: Honesty is the best policy and when the man found the purse on the street he gave it to a policeman. Честность — лучшая политика, и когда этот человек нашел дамскую сумку на улице, он отдал ее ... Читать далее...
  8. Army needs new recruitsTop Ways The Army Is Trying To Boost Recruiting 8. Military transport flights now earn you Delta frequent flier miles 7. Where else can you shoot guns and get awakened in the middle of the night by loud explosions besides New York, Chicago and Detroit? 6. Get rid of all those creepy «Richard Simmons Wants ... Читать далее...
  9. How Chuko Liang Used A Lute To Single-Handedly Defeat An Army Of 150,000During China’s Three Kingdoms period there was a brilliant general and master strategist of Shu Han named Chuko «Sleeping Dragon» Liang. During the War of the Three Kingdoms, he had sent a majority of his soldiers many miles away before he was alerted that an opposing army of 150,000 was headed towards the small town ... Читать далее...
  10. A very Insulting ParrotThis elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, «My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam.» She turns around quickly to see who ... Читать далее...
  11. Перевод слова climbClimb — взбираться, влезать, подниматься Перевод слова To climb to power — стремиться к власти, добиваться власти difficult climb — тяжелое восхождение dizzy climb — головокружительный подъем Harry Climbed the stairs. Гарри поднялся по лестнице. He Climbed over the fence. Он перелез через забор. He Climbed into his clothes. Он натянул на себя одежду....
  12. A marine general, an army general and a navy admiralA marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, «Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!» The private reports as ordered, «Yes sir?» The general says, «See that man over there? Kill him!» Without ... Читать далее...
  13. An abstract jokeTwo bananas are lying on a river bank when a turd comes floating by. The turd looks over and says, «Hey! Come on in! The water’s fine!» One banana turns to the other banana and says, «Do you believe that shit?»...
  14. During an Army war gameDuring an Army war game, a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C. O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck. «Sorry sir,» said one of the loafers, «but we’ve been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’t contribute in any way.» The C. ... Читать далее...
  15. Перевод слова bananaBanana — банан Перевод слова A hand of bananas — гроздь бананов to peel a banana — очищать банан от кожуры green banana — зеленый банан He slipped on a Banana skin and almost fell. Он поскользнулся на банановой кожуре и чуть не упал. She was Eating a banana. Она ела банан....
  16. Значение идиомы throw cold water on[throw cold water on] also [dash cold water on] or [pour cold wateron] {v. phr.} To discourage; say or do something to discourage. Wehad high hopes of victory but our opponents soon threw cold water onthem. Henry’s father threw cold water on his plans to go tocollege by saying he could not afford it....
  17. Перевод слова cageCage — клетка, будка Перевод слова Cage for birds — клетка для птиц cargo cage — шахтная грузовая клеть a cashier’s cage — будка кассира The lion was released from its Cage. Лев был выпущен из клетки. This bird should be Caged in. Эту птицу следует держать в клетке. They dragged the reluctant animal into ... Читать далее...
  18. An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a newAn army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, «But you just got a new pair last month!» «Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident,» stammered the private. «Accident, what kind of an accident?» ... Читать далее...
  19. Temperatures and What They Mean40 Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming. 35 Italian cars don’t start. 32 Water freezes. 30 You can see your breath. Politicians begin to worry about the Homeless. 25 Boston water freezes. Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you. 20 Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream. You can hear your breath. 15 ... Читать далее...
  20. Recipe for Banana BreadIngredients: 2 Laughing Eyes 2 Loving Arms 2 Well Shaped Legs 2 Firm Milk Containers 1 Fur Lined Mixing Bowl 2 Large Nuts 1 Large Banana Method: 1. Look into Loving Eyes. 2. Fold in Loving Arms. 3. Spread Well Shaped Legs. 4. Squeeze and massage Milk Containers gently until Fur Lined Mixing Bowl is ... Читать далее...
  21. Перевод слова stairStair — лестница, ступенька Перевод слова Flight of stairs — лестничный марш above stairs — в жилых комнатах; «наверху» below stairs — в кухне и в помещении для прислуги The Stairs are steep. Эта лестница крутая. The Stairs lead to the roof. Эта лестница ведет на крышу. He waited at the foot of the Stairs. ... Читать далее...
  22. A man is walking along one day and he comes upon a ladderA man is walking along one day and he comes upon a ladder. Looking up, he sees that the ladder disappears into the clouds. Curious, he begins to climb. Before long, he is *in* the clouds. He looks around and sees the most horribly ugly woman he has ever seen in his life. Obese, snaggle-toothed, ... Читать далее...
  23. A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial IndiaA British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India. One man he passed sported an enormous erection. «Sergeant-Major!» the colonel shouted.»Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave.» «Yessir,» the Sgt. Major replied. A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man. «Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate ... Читать далее...
  24. Значение идиомы cold[cold] See: BLOOD RUNS COLD, BLOW HOT AND COLD, CATCH COLD or TAKE COLD, IN COLD BLOOD, OUT COLD, OUT IN THE COLD, PASS OUT, STONE-COLD, STOP COLD, THROW COLD WATER ON....
  25. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopersA young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. «So, did you ... Читать далее...
  26. Перевод слова attemptAttempt — пытаться, стараться; попытка, проба Перевод слова To make an attempt — сделать попытку a soulless attempt — вялая попытка suicidal attempt — попытка самоубийства Don’t Attempt impossibilities. Не старайтесь сделать невозможное. It was a poor Attempt at a joke. Это было особенно неудачная попытка пошутить. We made an Attempt to get in touch ... Читать далее...
  27. Animals in a ZooDeborah: I can’t wait to see the Elephants at the Zoo. I wish I could see them in their Natural habitat, but a zoo is the Next best thing. Zach: I don’t want to go to a place where animals are kept In captivity. How would you like it if you were locked in a ... Читать далее...
  28. Значение идиомы water[water] See: BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, DEEP WATER, FISH OUT OF WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGH WATER, HEADABOVE WATER, HOLD WATER, HELL AND HIGH WATER, HOT WATER, LIKE WATER, LIKE WATER OFF A DUCK’S BACK, MAKE ONE’S MOUTH WATER, OF THE FIRSTWATER, POUR OIL ON TROUBLED WATERS, THROW ... Читать далее...
  29. Перевод слова removeRemove — передвигать, убирать, уносить, удалять Перевод слова To remove a cataract — удалить катаракту to have one’s furniture removed — перевезти свою мебель to remove an embargo — снимать запрет Remove the pan from the heat. Снимите сковороду с огня. He was Removed from office. Он был отстранен от должности. Remove the knife from ... Читать далее...
  30. Crazy Sally went to her gynecologistCrazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. «To remove that vibrator,» said the doctor, «I’m going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation.» «I don’t think I can afford that,» said Sally. «Could you just replace the batteries?»...
  31. Перевод слова replaceReplace — заменять, возвращать Перевод слова To replace the receiver — положить телефонную трубку to replace a tyre — заменить шину buses are replacing the trams — автобусы вытесняют трамваи He Replaced the old razor blade Он заменил старое лезвие бритвы. She was named to Replace him as the company’s vice president. Ее назначили, чтобы ... Читать далее...
  32. Honesty is the best policyA very very rich gentleman dies, leaving his fortune to his only living friends, a Doctor, a CEO, and a Lawyer. But being the eccentric he was, his will stipulated that each one must place their third of the money in his coffin before he is put in his final resting place. The funeral comes ... Читать далее...
  33. The local courtroom was packed as testimony beganThe local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee. The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for him trying to make his client appear more sympathetic to the Judge, especially since she had been ... Читать далее...
  34. A few years ago, when the Catholic church reform beganA few years ago, when the Catholic church reform began to be much in the news, Mrs. Moskowitz said to Mrs. Finkelstein, «Tell me, Becky, have you heard by chance what’s going on in Rome?» «No,» said Mrs Finkelstein. «I haven’t. What’s going on in Rome?» «A meeting of high Catholic churchmen has, among other ... Читать далее...
  35. A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselorA blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was ... Читать далее...
  36. A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowlyA little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly. After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until reaches heavily into the ground with a hard knock over his shell. After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, jumps again, and knocks the ... Читать далее...
  37. Be yourself — Будь собойEveryone is special because of being different. Personality mostly comes from the inside not the outside. It doesn`t matter what people think of you. The only person who matters is yourself. You should learn that you can`t be loved by everyone. That would be ideal, but it is unreal. In our complicated world it can ... Читать далее...
  38. Collection 03Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I’ll arrange it with the undertaker. People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of. Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick! We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips ... Читать далее...
  39. China bans ‘erotic’ banana-eating live streamsChinese live-streaming services have banned people filming themselves eating bananas in a «seductive» fashion. New regulations mean that live-streaming sites must monitor all their output round-the-clock to ensure nothing untoward is going on, keeping an eye out for any «erotic» banana-eating, according to New Express Daily. It’s not just fruit that’s on their radar though ... Читать далее...
  40. Значение идиомы top banana[top banana] or [top dog] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} The head of anybusiness or organization; the most influential or most prestigiousperson in an establishment. Who’s the top banana in this outfit? See: MAIN SQUEEZE....

How Army policy began