Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist

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1. A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m […]...
2. A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, […]...
3. Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven’t seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc., and finally gets around to their sex lives. Sue says, “It’s OK. We get it on every week […]...
4. Crazy people talk A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient […]...
5. Перевод слова crazy Crazy – ненормальный, сумасшедший Перевод слова To go crazy – сойти с ума she is crazy about him – она по нему с ума сходит a crazy idea – бредовая идея right-wing crazies – правые экстремисты crazy cat – псих I bought some Crazy good stuff there. Я купил там несколько безумно хороших вещей He […]...
6. Значение идиомы crazy [crazy] or [mad] or [nuts about] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Excessively fond of; infatuated with. Jack is totally nuts about Liz, but she is not too crazy about him....
7. A blond at a party was telling her friend A blond at a party was telling her friend that she was off men for life. “They lie, they cheat and they’re just no good. From now on when I want sex, I’m going to use my vibrator” “So, what when the batteries run out?” asked her friend “I’ll just fake an orgasm like always.”...
8. Перевод идиомы crazy like a fox, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: crazy like a fox Перевод: хитрый и расчетливый, но прикидывающийся глупым, неумным; строить из себя дурака Пример: In the debate, he was crazy like a fox. He praised his opponent for being clever and ruthless. Во время дебатов он прикидывался глуповатым, но был очень расчетливым. Он хвалил своего оппонента за ум и неумолимость....
9. MY TWO DELICATE OPERATIONS Humor story by Larry Graves Website: http://www. gravetimes. com MY TWO “DELICATE” OPERATIONS A few years ago, I had two operations in the space of a couple of Months. These were not major operations. Although for most men, I Believe they would prefer triple heart bypass surgery instead… No man Alive has ever looked forward […]...
10. A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed, but a month later, she’s still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat […]...
11. Значение идиомы stuck on [stuck on] {slang} Very much in love with; crazy about. Judythinks she is very pretty and very smart. She is stuck on herself. Lucy is stuck on the football captain....
12. Перевод слова delicate Delicate – изысканный, тонкий, щекотливый Перевод слова Delicate lace – тонкое кружево delicate equipment – чувствительное оборудование delicate subject – щекотливая тема The matter requires Delicate handling. Дело требует особого подхода. Let us learn then to have a Delicate conscience. Так давайте научим нашу совесть тонко чувствовать. Please don’t joke about such a Delicate subject. […]...
13. Oprectomy KENMORE HOSPITAL 61 COMMONWEALTH AVE. BOSTON, MA. 02115 DATE:____________ NAME: ADDRESS: Please be advised that your Oprectomy operation is scheduled for _______________, at ___________(a. m.)(p. m.). The purpose of this Extremely delicate operation is to sever the cord that connects Your eyes to your rectum and hopefully get rid of your shitty Outlook on life. […]...
14. A husband and wife are on a nudist beach A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the […]...
15. Перевод идиомы drive someone crazy / drive someone mad / drive someone insane / drive someone nuts, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: drive someone crazy / drive someone mad / drive someone insane / drive someone nuts Перевод: сводить с ума; сильно злить, раздражать Пример: The sound of the wind howling drove me crazy. Завывание ветра сводило меня с ума. John’s girlfriend keeps driving him insane because she always asks him questions when he gets home […]...
16. English is a Crazy Language From: Charlie Indelicato Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But […]...
17. A stuttering problem A man visits the doctor’s because he has a severe stuttering problem. After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient. Doctor: ‘It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it is thus pulling on your vocal cords, and thereby causing you this […]...
18. An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lots of friends and family in his house. His wife had made him a surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where the cake was placed. Eagerly the doctor removed and looked down on the cake, and immediately burst into a crazed laughter, […]...
19. Перевод слова perform Perform – выполнять, совершать, исполнять Перевод слова To perform a religious ceremony – совершать религиозный обряд to perform an exploit – совершать подвиг perform a function – выполнять функцию Our team Performed very well in the match. Наша команда очень хорошо выступила в матче. How well your daughter Performs on the piano! Как хорошо играет […]...
20. Making Changes to a Hotel Reservation Reservation agent: Hello, Milton Hotel Reservations. How may I assist you? Sally: Hi, I’m calling to make some changes to an Existing reservation. Reservation agent: Certainly. Do you have the Reservation number? Sally: Sure, it’s 234678. Reservation agent: That’s a reservation for Sally Menkel. Is that right? Sally: Yes, that’s right. I’d like to change […]...
21. Значение идиомы couch doctor [couch doctor] {n.}, {slang}, {colloquial} A psychoanalyst who puts his patients on a couch following the practice established by Sigmund Freud. I didn’t know your husband was a couch doctor, I thought he was a gynecologist!...
22. ‘Texas’ is slang for’crazy’ in Norway Y’all already all know that Texas is known for its slang. The state is home to a slew of Southern colloquialisms as well as totally unique sayings you won’t hear anywhere else. But did you know that the word “Texas” is in itself a slang word? According to Texas Monthly, Norwegians have long used the […]...
23. How Army policy began This is Army policy all begins… Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes […]...
24. Who Pays? David: Hey, Sally. Can I run something by you? Sally: Sure, what’s up? David: Well, A friend of a friend Wanted some help with her Taxes and we agreed that we would talk about it Over dinner. At the end of the night, when the Check came, she expected me to pay! It was really […]...
25. Making a Medical Diagnosis Terrell: Where have you been? Sally: At the hospital, again. My doctor is putting me through another Battery of tests. Terrell: She still hasn’t been able To zero in on the cause of your pain and Make a diagnosis? Sally: No, she hasn’t. Part of the problem is that my Symptoms are Intermittent, and they […]...
26. Перевод слова operation Operation – операция; действие, работа, функционирование Перевод слова To bear an operation satisfactorily – удовлетворительно перенести операцию to conduct welding operation – вести сварку operation from a distance – действие на расстоянии The Operation was of no effect. Операция не принесла успеха. The Operation of the pump is very simple. Этот насос очень прост в […]...
27. Exercising at the Gym Jae: Hi, are you done with this Weight machine? Sally: Yeah, I am. I was just Trying it out. I think I must be doing something wrong. My Muscles are Aching already. Jae: Maybe I can help. I’ve been working out on these machines for a few months, so I’m pretty used to them. Sally: […]...
28. No pressure This older Jewish man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. “Yes Dad, what is it?” “Don’t be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it […]...
29. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front […]...
30. Перевод слова remove Remove – передвигать, убирать, уносить, удалять Перевод слова To remove a cataract – удалить катаракту to have one’s furniture removed – перевезти свою мебель to remove an embargo – снимать запрет Remove the pan from the heat. Снимите сковороду с огня. He was Removed from office. Он был отстранен от должности. Remove the knife from […]...
31. Перевод слова afford Afford – быть в состоянии, позволить себе, предоставлять Перевод слова I can’t afford the money – мне это не по средствам to afford satisfaction – давать удовлетворение to afford a luxury – позволить (себе) роскошь I can’t Afford it. Я не могу себе это позволить (купить). She could not Afford to pay. Она была не […]...
32. A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, “I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang – but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.” “Oh Dear!” the […]...
33. A woman asks the hardware store clerk “Do you have any batteries?” a woman asks the hardware store clerk. “Yes, m’am.” The clerk gestures with his finger. “Can you come this way?” “If I could come that way,” the woman says, “I wouldn’t need the batteries.”...
34. Перевод слова replace Replace – заменять, возвращать Перевод слова To replace the receiver – положить телефонную трубку to replace a tyre – заменить шину buses are replacing the trams – автобусы вытесняют трамваи He Replaced the old razor blade Он заменил старое лезвие бритвы. She was named to Replace him as the company’s vice president. Ее назначили, чтобы […]...
35. Two AA batteries Woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, “Come this way,” and heads towards the back of the store. “If I could come that way,” she tells the retreating clerk, “I wouldn’t need the batteries.”...
36. Значение идиомы get stuck [get stuck] {v. phr.} 1. To be victimized; be cheated. TheSmiths sure got stuck when they bought that secondhand car; it brokedown just two days after they got it. 2. To become entrapped orembroiled in a physical, emotional, or social obstacle so as to beunable to free oneself. Last winter our car got stuck in […]...
37. Having Skin Problems Mother: Doctor, this is my son Danny. I brought him in so you could look at his Rash. Doctor: Okay, Danny. Have a seat on the Exam table. How long have you had the rash? Mother: My son has had that rash for about two weeks. It Started out as a Blister, and then it […]...
38. A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this was an obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened? The blonde said, “Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commit suicide, […]...
39. Перевод слова surgery Surgery – хирургия, операция Перевод слова Plastic surgery – пластическая хирургия brain surgery – нейрохирургия open-heart surgery – операция на открытом сердце Her arm mended slowly after Surgery. После операции ее рука заживает медленно. The doctor had to perform Surgery immediately. Врачу пришлось провести операцию немедленно. He underwent Surgery to remove a blood clot. Он […]...
40. Three guys were sitting in a bar talking Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; “You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the […]...