Honeymooned!

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1. Упражнения на числительные (с ответами) 1. Найдите пары: слова из первого столбика и соответствующие цифры из второго. Н-р: 1 – d Seventy-two a) 31 Thirteen b) 11 Fifty-six c) 660 Eighty d) 72 Eighteen e) 315 Twenty-three f) 100 Eleven g) 13 Ninety h) 49 Twelve i) 925 Twenty j) 18 Nineteen k) 80 Forty-nine l) 504 One hundred m) […]...
2. Some horse-play The newlywed couple were checking into the hotel. The new groom approached the desk clerk. He said he wanted the best for they were on their honeymoon. The clerk asked the man if he wanted the bridal. “No,” he said, “I don’t believe I’ll need it. I’ll just grab onto her ears and hold on […]...
3. Перевод слова fifty Fifty – пятьдесят Перевод слова A man of fifty – пятидесятилетний человек Chapter fifty – пятидесятая глава within a radius of fifty miles – в радиусе пятидесяти миль He is over Fifty. Ему за пятьдесят. The coat was below Fifty dollars! Пальто стоило меньше пятидесяти долларов! He left me a lousy Fifty cent tip. Он […]...
4. Checking into a Hotel I Flew into Atlanta the afternoon before a Big meeting. I Hailed a taxi at the airport and told the driver the name of the hotel. I asked him How long it would take to get there. He said it would only be 20 minutes. I sat back and relaxed. We got to the hotel […]...
5. Changing Money I was at the airport to pick up my friend Sandra, who was visiting from Italy. Gustavo: Do you Have everything? Sandra: Yes, I think so. But, I don’t have any U. S. dollars. Where can I Change money? Can I do that here? Gustavo: You could, but I wouldn’t Recommend it. The Exchange rate […]...
6. Purchasing new brains A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I. Q. 20 points. After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center’s director that he was an acceptable candidate. […]...
7. Picking up a Rental Car Ralph: I have a Reservation for a car. Clerk: What is the last name on the reservation? Ralph: It’s Furcal. Clerk: Just one moment. I have a reservation for Ralph Furcal, picking up today and returning on the 19th. Ralph: Yes, that’s right. I reserved an Economy car. Clerk: We do have an economy car […]...
8. A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort – one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, “Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.” The Jewish lady said, “But your sign says that you have vacancies.” […]...
9. Speaking to a Store Clerk on the Phone Clerk: Hello. Levin’s Music. Ariel: Hello. I was wondering if you Carry classical CD’s. Clerk: Yes, we have a pretty large Selection. What are you looking for? Ariel: I’m trying to find the Latest Reunion Island Ensemble CD. Clerk: I’m not sure we have that In stock. We have a lot of CD’s on Back […]...
10. Speaking to a Store Clerk on the Phone Clerk: Hello. Levin’s Music. Ariel: Hello. I was wondering if you Carry classical CD’s. Clerk: Yes, we have a pretty large Selection. What are you looking for? Ariel: I’m trying to find the Latest Reunion Island Ensemble CD. Clerk: I’m not sure we have that In stock. We have a lot of CD’s on Back […]...
11. A technical bastard A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn’t, sent them off to get one. They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, […]...
12. Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, “Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go.” “Good idea,” she says. “While you’re in there, pick me up some Dramamine.” The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore […]...
13. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. “Heavens,” she cried, “it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.” The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the […]...
14. Количественные числительные (Cardinal Numerals) в английском языке с примерами В этой теме будет подробно описана одна из групп имени числительного – количественные числительные. Просмотрите нижеследующую таблицу. С 1 до 12 С 13 до 19 С 20 до 90 100 и далее 1 one 2 two 3 three 4 four 5 five 6 six 7 seven 8 eight 9 nine 10 ten 11 eleven 12 […]...
15. An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name legally changed. When he replied, the desk clerk asked “Can i help you sir?” Our man said “Yes, I would like to change my name.” “What is your current name?” asked the clerk. “Martin Arsehole,” replied the man. The clerk laughed, and said “I […]...
16. I. R. S. phone calls The following are actual phone calls made to I. R. S. offices across the United States. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
17. Collection 06 We hear you are a lady killer. They take one look at you and die of fright!! We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, “Do not come home and all will be forgiven”. You have a good family tree, but the crop is a failure. I […]...
18. This pill allows you to fly A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if […]...
19. Scared sleeping Shakey went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. “you gotta help me, I’m going crazy!” “Just put yourself in my hands for two […]...
20. Перевод слова thousand Thousand – тысяча, множество Перевод слова One among a thousand – один из тысячи a hundred thousand skins – сто тысяч долларов a thousand times no – тысячу раз нет thousands of people – толпы людей There are Thousands of things I want to do. Есть тысячи вещей, которые я хочу сделать. Yours forever. One […]...
21. A Change Of Vows During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d […]...
22. Перевод идиомы divide something fifty-fifty / split something fifty-fifty, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: divide something fifty-fifty / split something fifty-fifty Перевод: разделить что-либо на две равные части Пример: We divided the money that we won fifty-fifty. Мы разделил деньги, которые выиграли, поровну....
23. At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even= drunker. “What time does the bar open?” he asks. “Same time as […]...
24. A talking bird One man wanted to make a special gift for his mother on the Mother’s day. He run out of ideas but then found a pet shop where was birds that could sing, talk and dance. The price was 5 thousand dollars, but he bought two of them and send to his mother as a surprise. […]...
25. Количественные числительные в английском языке Образование количественных числительных в английском языке В английском языке количественные числительные строятся почти так же, как и в русском языке. 1. Простые числительные нужно просто запомнить: 1 – one [ ‘wʌn ] 2 – two [ ‘tu: ] 3 – three [ ‘θri: ] 4 – four [ ‘fɔ: ] 5 – five [ ‘faiv […]...
26. Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying […]...
27. On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. “Would it be right,” he asked, “for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?” “Absolutely not!” replied the pastor. “In that case,” said the young man, “I wonder if you’d consider returning the hundred dollars I paid […]...
28. Перевод слова additional Additional – добавочный, дополнительный Перевод слова Additional charges – дополнительные расходы additional clause – дополнительное условие additional collection – дополнительный сбор (налогов, пошлин) There is Additional seating on the deck. Там есть сидячие места на палубе. Additional expenses arose from your delay. Ваша задержка привела к дополнительным расходам. The PC had three slots for Additional […]...
29. Change my mind The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, “I give ten dollars.” Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. “I give a thousand dollars!” The minister said, “Lord, hit him again!”...
30. Some explaining The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their two week vacation/honeymoon. The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said, “Well, hi Jimmy, how ya been lover? Long time no see.” A frosty silence prevailed until the […]...
31. Buying Souvenirs I was vacationing in Miami, Florida, and I went into a Souvenir store to get some gifts for friends back home. Lydia: Could you show me where the T-shirts Are? Clerk: Sure, they’re on the left, along the wall. Can I help you find something? Lydia: I’d like to get a T-shirt, but I’m not […]...
32. Slight confusion One night a police officer named Mike was working the grave-yard shift and he drove to his house around 3 A. M. in the morning. He opened the door to the bedroom quietly and took off his clothes in the dark, and got in bed with his wife. Then she said,”Honey, can you go over […]...
33. Buying Souvenirs I was vacationing in Miami, Florida, and I went into a Souvenir store to get some gifts for friends back home. Lydia: Could you show me where the T-shirts Are? Clerk: Sure, they’re on the left, along the wall. Can I help you find something? Lydia: I’d like to get a T-shirt, but I’m not […]...
34. A young couple got married, and in their family A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened…but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between […]...
35. What kind of a woman “Would you sleep with me for ten thousand dollars?” asked John “Yes, I will.” Paula replied. “Would you do it for one thousand?” he asked. “Well maybe, or maybe I’d do something else for you.” she answered with a wink. “How about a blowjob for $20?” responded John. “Hey! What kind of women do you […]...
36. Значение идиомы fifty-fifty [fifty-fifty ] {adj.}, {informal} 1. Divided or shared equally. It will be a fifty-fifty arrangement; half the money for me and halffor you. 2. Half for and half against; half good and half bad. There is only a fifty-fifty chance that we will win the game. Compare: HALF AND HALF....
37. A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to play some “real” musical instruments. He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says “I’ll take that red trumpet over there and that accordion.” The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies “OK, […]...
38. Перевод слова clerk Clerk – клерк, администратор Перевод слова Bank clerk – банковский служащий correspondence clerk – корреспондент telegraph clerk – телеграфист He Clerks in a supermarket. Он работает продавцом в супермаркете. The Clerk recorded their names in the register. Клерк записал их имена в реестр. The Clerk was well bounced for his carelessness. За халатность клерку сурово […]...
39. A fair offer One day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the back yard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and trim his […]...
40. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front […]...