Guinea pig to become father to 400 after breaking into female enclosure

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1. Rent-A-Guinea Pig Service Takes Off in Switzerland Guinea pigs are sociable animals and Swiss law prohibits owners from keeping the furry rodents on their own. But what happens when one dies? Don’t fret, just call Priska Küng, who runs a ‘rent-a-guinea pig’ service to provide companionship for grieving, lonely animals in the twilight of their years. Swiss animal lover Priska Küng runs […]...
2. Перевод слова enclosure Enclosure – ограждение, огороженное место; приложение, вложение Перевод слова Inflatable enclosure – пневматическое укрытие stair enclosure – лестничная клетка tamper resistance enclosure – не поддающийся вскрытию корпус или кожух I have received your letter with its Enclosures. Я получил ваше письмо и все, что было в него вложено. During the day the horses are kept […]...
3. Перевод слова female Female – женщина, женский; женского пола Перевод слова Female relations – родственницы female patients – пациентки female education – женское образование Female cattle are cows. Женские особи крупного рогатого скота – это коровы. A Female deer is a doe. Самка оленя называется оленихой. The workers were overwhelmingly Female. Среди работников преобладали женщины. Примеры из жизни […]...
4. Перевод идиомы guinea pig, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: guinea pig Перевод: “подопытный кролик”, человек, над которым производят научные опыты Пример: He volunteered to act as a guinea pig in the experiment. Он добровольно согласился исполнять роль “подопытного кролика” в этом эксперименте....
5. A young female teacher was giving an assignment A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny Pat?” “Well teacher, I just […]...
6. Computers are female The top six reasons computers must be female: 6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner. 5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic. 4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference. 3. The native language used to communicate with other […]...
7. Making a Restaurant Reservation Hostess: Thank you for calling Sakia Restaurant. How may I help you? Randy: I’d like to make a Reservation. Hostess: For which day and for what time? Randy: It’s for Friday, the 24th, at 7 o’clock. Hostess: How many will be in the party? Randy: There will be seven of us. Hostess: And the name […]...
8. THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT CONSENT FORM Name:______________________________ SOCIAL SECURITY No:____________________ ADDRESS:___________________________ CITY:__________________________________ STAFF ELEMENT:_____________________ HOME PHONE No.:________________________ MALE:___________ FEMALE:___________ OFFICE PHONE No.:______________________ SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Male – Female Female – Female Male – Male All of the Above None of the Above – Please Specify: _____________________ I CONSENT TO THE FOLLOWING FORMS OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT: Salutatory Greeting: _____________________ Eye-to-Eye Contact: ______________________ Eye-to-Bust […]...
9. Pray hard A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.” “What do they say?” the priest inquired. “They say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?” “That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed, […]...
10. College Dorm On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.” He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the […]...
11. Inky’s Daring Escape Shows How Smart Octopuses Are The fleeing of a mollusk from a New Zealand aquarium has captivated the world. Here’s how he did it, and what it means. An octopus at New Zealand’s National Aquarium made a break for freedom by slipping out of its tank, slithering down a drainpipe and escaping into the ocean earlier this year. Inky, a […]...
12. In jail This exchange was overheard between the separated sections of the jail. A male voice yells over to the female side: “I got 12 inches over here you would love to have.” The female response was: “Well, spit it out it isn’t yours.”...
13. Differences in Male and Female Friendships Lauren: Did you see what Stephanie was wearing? She looked like a wet dog! Quentin: Why do women do that? Lauren: Do what? Quentin: Why do women Put other women down? Is it to make themselves feel Superior? Lauren: It was only a joke. I Didn’t mean anything by it. Quentin: Do you really think […]...
14. In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about […]...
15. A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, “help, help, I am having a heart attack”, the husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run […]...
16. A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and tells the priest he’s been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever since his wife died. The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the pig is a male or female. “No! I’m not doing it anymore!” […]...
17. Перевод слова male Male – мужчина, мужской, мужского пола Перевод слова Male voice choir – мужской хор male fern – мужской папоротник male midwife – акушер male pigeon – голубь-самец A Male duck is a drake. Самец утки – это селезень. The Male has a white breast. У самцов грудка белая. Does Christianity promote Male domination over women? […]...
18. University courses for men and women Whatsamatta University’s Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required. 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You Too Can Do […]...
19. Перевод слова staff Staff – персонал, кадры Перевод слова To fill up staff vacancies – комплектовать штат administrative staff – административный персонал coaching staff – команда тренеров Our Staff was at full strength. Наши сотрудники были в полном составе. She joined the Staff as an editor. Она стала работать редактором. The hospital has an excellent nursing Staff. В […]...
20. Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to find out whether computer is male or female: one group was male, and the other group was female. The group of women reported that computers should be refereed to as “HE” because: 1. In order to get their attention you have to turn them […]...
21. JASMINE – THE ANIMAL SHELTER GREYHOUND Jasmine had been abandoned before she arrived at the Nuneaton and Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary, UK back in 2003. The stray Greyhound had been found dumped in a garden shed and was cold, filthy and malnourished. Shivering and desperate for food, she needed several weeks under the special care of the staff to nurse her back […]...
22. Your father is drunk To The Tune Of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town Oh you better not shout, you better not cry, You better not pout, I’m tellin’ you why, Daddy’s home and I think he’s drunk. He’s walkin’ real slow, he slurs when he speaks, I don’t even think he’s shaved in two weeks, Daddy’s home and […]...
23. Breaking Bad Habits Counselor: Welcome everybody. You’ve all joined this Support group because you have some Bad habits that you’d like To break. Would anyone like to introduce themselves and tell us about their bad habit? Stu: Uh yeah, I’m Stu and my wife Signed me up for this support group because she says I have some really […]...
24. Having an Overbearing Father Dad: Where are you going? Eva: Out. Dad: Out where? Eva: Dad, I’m nearly a Grown woman. You don’t need to be so Overbearing. You give me The third degree every time I leave the house. Dad: As long as you live Under my roof, you’ll Live by my rules. Now, where are you going? […]...
25. Father! Father! An old man on crutches walked up “Father! Father! An old man on crutches walked up to the holy water a minute ago, and he splashed some on his right leg and then he threw away his right crutch! Then he splashed some more on the other leg and threw away his left crutch!” “My boy, you’ve witnessed a miracle! What happened […]...
26. A large difference A man went to the doctor’s. The doctor came in and said, “Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that you have an inoperable brain tumor. The good news is our hospital has just been certified to do brain transplants and there has been an accident right out […]...
27. Collection 16 At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people – you are obnoxious in a different and worse way! You have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one. You remind me of Moses. Every time you open your mouth, the bull rushes. They say that travel broadens […]...
28. A little old lady buys a pair of parrots A little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She calls the shop, and the man there advises her to watch them carefully and all would become clear in time. She spends weeks staring at the cage and eventually catches them doing what comes naturally. To make sure she doesn’t […]...
29. Breaking her heart Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won’t you fogive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you. All my love, Belinda. PS Congratulations on winning this week’s lottery....
30. The Latest Breaking News on the GoodTimes Virus It turns out that this so-called hoax virus is very dangerous after all. Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator’s coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all […]...
31. Значение идиомы can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs [can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs] To achieve a certain goal one must sometimes incur damage, experience difficulties, or make sacrifices. – A proverb. When we drove across the country, we put a lot of mileage on our car and had a flat tire, but it was a pleasant trip. “Well, you can’t make […]...
32. Перевод слова population Population – население, популяция, жители Перевод слова Population bulge – демографический взрыв dense population – высокая плотность населения the very dregs of the population – отбросы общества India has a Population of more than 1 billion. Население Индии составляет более 1 млрд. The island’s Population irrupted. Население острова резко возросло. The goal is zero Population […]...
33. Перевод слова pig Pig – свинья Перевод слова Suckling pig – молочный поросенок young pig – свинка, поросенок guinea pig – морская свинка You are a greedy Pig! Ты жадная свинья! The sow Pigged three weeks ago. Свинья опоросилась три недели назад. You can tell him from me he’s an ignorant Pig. Вы можете сказать ему от меня, […]...
34. A tough dilemma Boss, to four of his employees: “I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to let one of you go.” Black Employee: “I’m a protected minority.” Female Employee: “And I’m a woman.” Oldest Employee: “Fire me, buster, and I’ll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it’ll make your head spin.” …To which […]...
35. You could Feed them a lot Faster There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would […]...
36. Seminars for a woman SEMINARS FOR WOMEN In response to the seminar offerings by the female staff, the male staff has created a set of courses for females of all marital status. The following courses will be offered: General Education: GE101: Why the Toilet Seat Has Hinges GE102: Checkbook Balancing (formerly “Remedial Third Grade Arithmetic”) GE103: How to Drive […]...
37. The Loneliest Plant In The World One day in 1895, while walking through the Ngoya Forest in Zululand, southern Africa, a botanist with the oh so suitable name of John Medley Wood caught sight of a tree. It sat on a steep slope at the edge of the woods and looked different from the other trees, with its thick multiple trunks […]...
38. Moustaches The Albanian language has 27 different words to describe the shape of moustaches. *** Do you think it looks fine to shave your beard and leave only a moustache? It was not men whom God created like that, but dogs and cats. PETER THE GREAT (1672-1725) Moustache Response Units Policemen in the Indian state of […]...
39. My Father – Мой отец My father is the best father in the world. His name is An-drey. His second name is Vasilievich and family name is Kravenko. He is 43. My dad is an engineer. He works at an industrial plant. In the childhood, my dad was a very smart boy. He knew everything. When he finished school, he […]...
40. Wanting Peace and Quiet After three days of travel and meetings, I returned to my hotel room ready for some Downtime. All I wanted was some Peace and quiet so I could get a Good night’s sleep. … [phone rings] Carl: Hello. Hotel staff: Hello, Mr. Mendez. I’m calling to welcome you to our hotel. I hope you’re finding […]...