Gift tombstones

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1. Merryied talk A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads: ‘Here Lies My Wife – Cold As Ever’.” “Yeah,” she replies, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone reads: ‘Here Lies My Husband – […]...
2. For their 25th wedding anniversary For their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his wife on a trip to France. After two weeks touring France, they return to the airport for the trip back to America. While waiting for the plane, the wife turns to her husband and says, “This was the most wonderful gift I could have […]...
3. A lawyer named Strange died A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.” The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: […]...
4. Finding the Perfect Gift Fae: Help! I still need to buy a Gift for my mother and I can’t seem to think of the perfect Present, something that’ll really Knock her socks off. Pablo: Why don’t you just get her a Gift certificate or a Gift card? That way, she can Pick out her own gift. Fae: Oh, she […]...
5. Finding the Perfect Gift Fae: Help! I still need to buy a Gift for my mother and I can’t seem to think of the perfect Present, something that’ll really Knock her socks off. Pablo: Why don’t you just get her a Gift certificate or a Gift card? That way, she can Pick out her own gift. Fae: Oh, she […]...
6. Перевод слова anniversary Anniversary – годовщина, юбилей Перевод слова Anniversary present – подарок к юбилею anniversary card – поздравление с юбилеем fifth anniversary – пятилетие She forgot all about their Anniversary. Она совсем забыла о своем юбилее. Her absentminded husband forgot their Anniversary. Ее рассеянный муж забыл об их годовщине....
7. Перевод слова gift Gift – подарок, дар Перевод слова At this price it’s a gift! – за такую цену это просто подарок generous gift – щедрый подарок graduation gift – подарок к окончанию учебного заведения The family made a Gift of his paintings to the museum. Семья отдала его картины в дар музею. She has the rare Gift […]...
8. Значение идиомы gift of gab [gift of gab] or [gift of the gab] {n. phr.}, {informal} Skill intalking; ability to make interesting talk that makes people believeyou. Many men get elected because of their gift of gab. Mr. Taylor’s gift of gab helped him get a good job....
9. Life is cruel What women want in a relationship: A handsome, loving professional man who will just love them for who they are. What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays with them only because no other woman wants him. What men want in a woman: A combination of Carol Brady and Pamela Lee Anderson; Wonderful […]...
10. Значение идиомы silver anniversary [silver anniversary] or [wedding] {n. phr.} The twenty-fifthwedding anniversary of a couple; the twenty-fifth anniversary of abusiness or an association, etc. “The day after tomorrow is Mom andDad’s silver anniversary,” Sue said to her brother. “I hope you have anice present picked out.”...
11. Nothing changed On the eve of the couple’s tenth wedding anniversary, the still slim wife was bragging about her figure. “You know honey,” she said, “I can still get into the skirts I had before we were married.” “Yeah?” the husband replied as he turned his attention back to the ball game on TV. “I wish to […]...
12. Understanding Men and Women Lucy: Jeff, Here’s a question. I was Just talking to Dawn. You know, they had their first Wedding anniversary last week. Guess what her husband gave her as a present. Jeff: I don’t know. What? Lucy: He gave her a Vacuum cleaner. Jeff: Didn’t she want a vacuum cleaner? Lucy: Yes, the old one was […]...
13. A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, “You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!” Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, […]...
14. Значение идиомы look a gift horse in the mouth [look a gift horse in the mouth] To complain if a gift is notperfect. – A proverb. Usually used with a negative. John gave Joe abaseball but Joe complained that the ball was old. His father told himnot to look a gift horse in the mouth....
15. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do […]...
16. Пословица / поговорка never look a gift horse in the mouth – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: never look a gift horse in the mouth Перевод: дареному коню в зубы не смотрят Пример: You should never look a gift horse in the mouth and instead accept a gift even if you do not want or need it. Не следует смотреть дареному коню в зубы, лучше принять подарок, даже если […]...
17. Final wish In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, he went to the town’s undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) […]...
18. Перевод слова inscription Inscription – надпись, посвящение Перевод слова To decipher an inscription – расшифровывать надпись barely traceable inscription – едва различимая надпись decipher an ancient inscription – дешифровать древнюю надпись The Inscription was effaced by the time. Время стерло надпись. The monument bore an Inscription. На памятнике была надпись. To the l. of the Latin cross is […]...
19. Following a bitter divorce Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and sneered, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The wife simply sighed and replied, “Yes, dear, I know, but I was in love and didn’t really notice.”...
20. Early withdrawals The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was empty. When he confronted his wife, she simply said, “It’s my turn.” “What do you mean, your turn?” yelled the husband. “In bed,” she explained, “you’ve been making early withdrawals for years. Now, it’s my turn.”...
21. An old retired man goes to his wife one day An old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, “I don’t know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I’m afraid we’re broke.” The wife says, “No, we’re not. Let’s go for a drive into town.” Husband replies, “Our savings are all gone and you […]...
22. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
23. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
24. Top ten things not to say on your Anniversary 10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking. 9. Today is our what? 8. Okay, let’s celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together? 7. I thought we only celebrated important events? 6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband. 5. You don’t like what I pick out, so I […]...
25. Corporate Gift-Giving Michelle: Why did I get Stuck with buying Corporate gifts for our clients this year? Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I’m good at buying gifts. Rafiq: It’s not because you’re a woman. It’s because you’re the most Junior employee of the company. I had the job three years ago when I started working […]...
26. Перевод слова bitter Bitter – горький Перевод слова Bitter taste – горький вкус bitter moment – горькая минута bitter cold – страшный холод Cocoa beans have a Bitter flavor. Какао-бобы имеют горький вкус. It was Bitter cold. Был пронизывающий холод. The countries are still Bitter enemies. Страны до сих пор являются злейшими врагами. Интересные факты Биттер – группа […]...
27. All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband. The husband was totally dumfounded and asks, “What was that for?” Wife said, “Because, you are a bad fuck”. Couple of minutes later, the husband smacks his wife. This time, the wife was confused and asked, “And may I ask what’s that about?” Husband said, ” […]...
28. Some of the myths about marriage TOP15.Some of the myths about marriage… Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and says: “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” The husband says: “WHAT??” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional […]...
29. A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving along […]...
30. Перевод слова furious Furious – взбешенный, яростный, неистовый Перевод слова Furious animal – разъяренный зверь to be furious – быть в ярости furious wind – неистовый ветер She was absolutely Furious. Она была просто в ярости. Their Furious desire of revenge must be satiated. Их яростное желание мести должно быть удовлетворено. The statement brought him into a state […]...
31. A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, […]...
32. A husband and wife were in their back yard A husband and wife were in their back yard, and he was noticing her expanding backside. He commented, “Boy, your ass is getting big. almost as big as the gas grill here.” She angrily stomped across the yard, and he followed saying, “Yep, that thing is getting huge.” At this, the wife retreated to the […]...
33. Перевод слова quarrel Quarrel – ссора, спор, размолвка Перевод слова To be at quarrel – ссориться, быть в ссоре to avoid a quarrel – избегать ссоры long-standing quarrel – давняя, многолетняя ссора never-ending quarrel – бесконечные раздоры They had a Quarrel about some girl. Они поссорились из-за девушки. The children Quarrel all the time. Дети все время ссорятся. […]...
34. As US tourists in Israel As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the […]...
35. Love thy Neighbor The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the Condo of their dreams, but right next door to a very sexy fashion model. The husband had taken to borrowing this or that from their neighbor and it seemed to the wife that it always took him way too long to return. One time the wife had […]...
36. The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new pair of expensive imported panties. “After all, dear,” she said to her husband, “you wouldn’t expect to find fine perfume in a cheap bottle, would you?” “No,” her husband replied. “Nor would I expect to find gift wrapping on a dead beaver.”...
37. The Gift After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks, and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son. I brought my selection – a baseball bat – to the cash register. “Cash or charge?” the clerk asked. “Cash,” I snapped. […]...
38. Значение идиомы pour oil on troubled waters [pour oil on troubled waters] {v. phr.} To quiet a quarrel; saysomething to lessen anger and bring peace. The troops were nearinga bitter quarrel until the leader poured oil on the troubled waters....
39. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Look a gift horse in the mouth” Penny Пенни This trip isn’t a good idea. Эта поездка – не такая уж хорошая идея. Andrew Эндрю Oh, don’t be such a spoilsport. Ну, не будь такой занудой. Penny Пенни But, there’s a hole in the tent. Но в палатке – дырка. Andrew Эндрю Yes, but we can’t Look a gift horse in the […]...
40. While in prison OJ had another prisoner join him in his cell While in prison O. J. had another prisoner join him in his cell. This person was 8′ tall and 670 lbs. of solid muscle. He asked O. J. if he wanted to be the husband or the wife. Now O. J. not being stupid started reasoning in his mind “OK if I say I’m going […]...