Getting Revenge

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1. Asking for a Date I Admit it. I’m a Player. I work in an office where there are a lot of Attractive women. Take Debra, for example. I heard that she just Broke up with her boyfriend last week so I decided to ask her out. Liam: Hi, Debra. How’s it going? Debra: Okay, I guess. How about you? […]...
2. An Annoying Cell Phone User Carl: I’m sorry, say that again. I couldn’t hear you Over that guy at the next table Shouting into his cell phone. Stephanie: That guy is so Rude. We’re trying to have a Leisurely conversation over a cup of coffee, and we have To out shout some Inconsiderate jerk. Carl: Do you think he realizes […]...
3. Being Clean and Dirty Ray: My mother is coming for a visit, which means we need to do some Spring cleaning this weekend. Debra: I’ll get the Duster, if you’ll get the Broom. Ray: I’m serious. You know how Nit-picky my mother is and I want our house to be Neat and tidy. Debra: Fine, fine, I understand. You […]...
4. Humor about the Stupid Irish Higgins lived in Staten Island, New York, and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, So Higgins decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. When […]...
5. Taking a Phone Message I was looking forward to a quiet evening at home. As soon as I walked in the door, though, the phone rang. Paolo: Hello. Evelyn: Hi, Could I speak to Tony? Paolo: He’s not here right now. Can I take a message? Evelyn: Do you know when he’ll be back? Paolo: No, I don’t. Evelyn: […]...
6. Indiana Inmate Tattoos Face With Child Victim’s Name: ‘Katie’s Revenge’ EVANSVILLE, Ind. – An inmate serving a life sentence for molesting and murdering a 10-year-old girl named Katie was apparently forcibly tattooed across the forehead by a fellow prisoner with the words “KATIE’S REVENGE,” authorities say. Anthony Ray Stockelman, 39, was removed from the general prison population for his own safety last weekend after authorities […]...
7. Using the Telephone Charles: I don’t know how long this Power outage is going to last. Do you think we should call Elizabeth to tell her we’ll be late for dinner? Jane: That’s a good idea. Do you know her Phone number offhand? Charles: No, I don’t, and I can’t look it up in my Address book or […]...
8. FCC slaps Florida highway cell phone jammer with $48K fine A Florida man is in big trouble for using a cell phone jammer while driving on the highway. 60-year-old Jason Humphreys admitted to police he’d used the device on his daily commute for roughly two years because he didn’t want drivers around him talking on their cell phones. But the powerful cell jammer shut down […]...
9. Describing Stomach Problems There’s nothing I enjoy more than spending a couple of hours relaxing at a cafe. I sit drinking my tea and reading. What could be better? Woman: So I think I may have to see a doctor soon. You know I’ve had these terrible pains in my Stomach. My Digestion is terrible and now I […]...
10. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
11. Staying In It’s Friday night and my Roommate and I feel like Staying in. We’ve both had a Tough week at work and decided to have a Low-key evening. On my way home, I stopped at the Video rental store And rented a couple of movies. I got a New release and a Classic. I thought I […]...
12. Working from a Home Office Adrina: So this is your new home office. It’s nice. Victor: It’s Functional, and I like it. When my company decided to lower its Overhead by Decentralizing, it gave employees the option to work from home. When I heard that, I didn’t Think twice about making the change. Adrina: I’m not surprised. Lots of people […]...
13. A Good Listener Woman: Hi, Long time no see. How have you been? Man: Oh, I’ve been fine, but I’m having some trouble with my son. Woman: Tell me all about it. Man: Oh, he’s 14 and in the past few months, he’s become quieter and a bit Secretive. He locks himself in his room and I think […]...
14. Talking About Product Quality Brenda: It’s fun shopping for a new cell phone, don’t you think? Yoji: Sure, but I just need one with the Bare basics. Brenda: Not me. I want one that’s Top-of-the-line. My old phone was Cheap and Flimsy, and it started Acting up after only a few months. Yoji: I want something that’s good Quality, […]...
15. Перевод слова skin Skin – кожа, шкура Перевод слова Skin incision – кожный разрез stripped to the skin – раздетый донага cony skin – кроличья шкурка She has soft Skin. У нее нежная кожа. My Skin burns easily. Я быстро обгораю на солнце. If you were in my Skin… Побывай ты в моей шкуре…...
16. A young married woman A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend. The girlfriend asked, “Do you talk to your husband when you’re making love?” She thought about it a minute then said, “Well, no. But I could. I mean he has a cell phone and all now.”...
17. Пословица / поговорка revenge is sweet – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: revenge is sweet Перевод: месть сладка Пример: “Remember when Tom left me for another woman? Well, she just left him, and he asked me out on a date. I told him I had better things to do.” “Revenge is sweet, huh?” Помнишь, когда Том ушел от меня к другой женщине? Ну вот, […]...
18. Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates Could this herald the return of our resident wise man, Cunning Lin Gus? Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea. “I call my man ‘Eight,’ ” said the first woman, “Because he’s got eight inches, and we do it eight times a day.” The second woman said in response, “I call my […]...
19. Driving While Calling and Texting Pamela: [laughs] Did you see this Tweet from Sarah? She’s so funny. Josh: Hold on. I’m Texting Lance. I want to make sure he knows where we’re Meeting up. Pamela: [cell phone rings] Hello. Oh, hi Lance. Did you get Josh’s text? You didn’t? Let me IM you, bye. Josh: I wonder why Lance didn’t […]...
20. Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks. After a while the conversation started turning a little rude and crass. Soon the women were getting louder and they were arguing about how wide their snatches were. (This happens all the time.) The first woman got up on the bar, lifted her leg, […]...
21. Jim will not be in today. He is not feeling himself. Thank you “Jim will not be in today. He is not feeling himself. Thank you.” THIS MEANS: 1. He doesn’t feel the way he usually does. 2. He is not in complete control of his hands. 3. His emotions are shattered. 4. His skin is numb. 5. He has transofrmed into an alter-ego (i. e. professional wrestler) […]...
22. Перевод идиомы give someone a dirty look, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: give someone a dirty look Перевод: взглянуть на кого-либо с неприязнью, неодобрением Пример: I gave the woman a dirty look when she talked loudly on her cell phone. Я неодобрительно взглянул на женщину, когда она громко разговаривала по своему сотовому....
23. Ordering Business Stationery Jermaine: How did the Investor meeting go? Teresa: That meeting has been Postponed until next week. One of the potential investors is out of town. Jermaine: In that case, can you help me with some of this work? Teresa: I would, but I’m busy ordering Stationery right now. Jermaine: Stationery? You’re ordering stationery? Teresa: Yes, […]...
24. Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing ——————————— It’s the only type of cooking a “real” man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion. (1) The woman goes to the store. (2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat […]...
25. Talking About Product Quality Brenda: It’s fun shopping for a new cell phone, don’t you think? Yoji: Sure, but I just need one with the Bare basics. Brenda: Not me. I want one that’s Top-of-the-line. My old phone was Cheap and Flimsy, and it started Acting up after only a few months. Yoji: I want something that’s good Quality, […]...
26. Значение идиомы skin [skin] See: BY THE SKIN OF ONE’S TEETH, GET UNDER ONE’S SKIN, JUMPOUT OF ONE’S SKIN, KEEP ONE’S EYES PEELED or KEEP ONE’S EYES SKINNED, SAVE ONE’S NECK or SAVE ONE’S SKIN, WITH A WHOLE SKIN or IN A WHOLESKIN....
27. Значение идиомы with a whole skin [with a whole skin] also [in a whole skin] {adv. phr.} With noinjury; unhurt; safely. The boy was lucky to escape with a wholeskin when the car went off the road. Jack came through the gamewith a whole skin. The horse threw him off, but he got away in awhole skin. Syn.: SAFE AND SOUND....
28. Expressing Bitter Feelings Laurent: I’m Done with women! They’re Liars and Manipulators. Julie: Let me guess. You’ve had a bad Breakup? Laurent: It wasn’t just bad. It was Monumentally awful. I’m never going to date again. Julie: You’re just feeling Bitter right now, but you’ll Get over it. You won’t always feel so Jaded. Wait a second. Did […]...
29. A Flaky Friend Shawn: What’s the matter? You look like you’re about To blow your lid. Rick: Yeah, Let’s just say I’m not happy. Shawn: That’s Putting it lightly. What’s up? Rick: My friend Steve was supposed To come by Here after work to Give me a ride home. I Lent him my car so he could take […]...
30. Modems beat women Some reasons why a modem is better than a woman: A modem doesn’t ask for a commitment if you use it. Getting a modem to obey you is as simple as typing “AT”. When you’re done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty. A modem won’t say a […]...
31. Answering Machine Messages I got two tickets to a Show at the last minute and I tried to find someone to go with me. First, I called Amanda. The phone Rang and rang and then her answering machine Picked up. “Hi, I’m not in right now. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon […]...
32. The definition of a phallic symbol This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks “Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says “you’re kidding..” Girl says “no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???” Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says “You see? This is a failic symbol!” Girl says “Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller”...
33. Women’s instructions WOMEN’S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. So […]...
34. Talking About Attractive Men and Women Pamela: You know that your tongue is hanging out of your mouth, right? David: That’s because I’ve never seen so many beautiful women in one place before. Why have I never been to this beach before? Look at her! She’s a Hottie! Pamela: Isn’t that what you said about that woman over there? David: No, […]...
35. Ending a Restaurant Meal Server: Can I Clear these plates and get them Out of your way? Alvin: Sure, we’re all done. Can I get the rest of that in a Doggie bag? Server: No problem. I’ll Wrap it up for you. Is there anything else I can get you? Did you Leave room for dessert? How about some […]...
36. Перевод идиомы get under someone’s skin, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: get under someone’s skin Перевод: действовать на нервы, раздражать, доставать, доводить Пример: The woman always gets under my skin although I do not really know why. Эта женщина всегда действует мне на нервы, хотя я, на самом деле, не понимаю, почему....
37. One night, an 87-year-old woman One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say to […]...
38. I’ve never understood why women love cats I’ve never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, […]...
39. Short gender jokes A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more […]...
40. Значение идиомы skin off one’s nose [skin off one’s nose] {n. phr.}, {slang} Matter of interest, concern, or trouble to you. Normally used in the negative. Go toJake’s party if you wish. It’s no skin off my nose. Grace didn’tpay any attention to our argument. It wasn’t any skin off her nose. You could at least say hello to our visitor. […]...