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1. Wedding preparation guidelinesAnnouncement: It is the responsibility of the bride’s family to announce the wedding in the local newspaper. The announcement should include: A photograph of the bride (A high school yearbook picture is acceptable); Name of the groom, education completed by both bride and groom (do not include elementary school, unless that was the terminal degree.); ... Читать далее...
2. A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get marriedA middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her new groom, «Please be gentle… I am still a virgin.» The startled groom says «How can that be? You’ve been married twice…» The bride responds… ... Читать далее...
3. One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decidedOne day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with no experience. On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each ... Читать далее...
4. The wedding is offno on!All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride’s father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry. «The weddin’s off,» he shouted, «Everybody bugger off!» Dismayed and ... Читать далее...
5. Jake is 85, and he gets married to a 16-year-oldJake is 85, and he gets married to a 16-year-old. He walks into the local bar when he gets back from his honeymoon, and all the guys want to hear about his wedding night. Jake says, «Well, when we got to the hotel, my youngest son carried me up the stairs, undressed me, and lifted ... Читать далее...
6. On their wedding night the husband was so selfOn their wedding night the husband was so self — conscious about the smallness of his penis that before undressing, he snapped off the light. Once he was in bed, he unzipped his pants and handed his member to his bride. «That’s thoughtful, darling,» she cooed, «but we’ll need the light if you want to ... Читать далее...
7. A painful adjustmentAdjusting to marriage sometimes poses some unexpected problems. But when I came upon a friend of mine in a bar the night after his wedding, I had ask exactly what he was doing there instead of with his new bride. «Well, you see, this morning when I got up,» he said, «I was barely awake ... Читать далее...
8. An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. «Oh honey», said the young nymph, «Does that mean we’re going to do it three times?» «No», said the old man, «It means you can take your pick.»...
9. WeddingsОчень интересный топик Свадьбы познакомит вас со свадебными традициями и обрядами Великобритании и США. Вы узнаете, что существует так называемая «белая свадьба», что из вещей обязательно должна иметь при себе невеста и кто такой «грум». А знаете ли вы, что жених не должен видеться с невестой в день свадьбы, и кому жених доверяет обручальные кольца? ... Читать далее...
10. AVOID SOCIAL BLUNDERS WITH THESE HELPFUL WEDDING HINTSAVOID SOCIAL BLUNDERS WITH THESE HELPFUL WEDDING HINTS: — Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift. — Is it okay to bring a date to a wedding? Not if you are the groom. — When dancing, never remove undergarments; no matter how hot it is. — Kissing the bride for more than ... Читать далее...
11. A staged wedding to bust dealersAs supposedly reported on CNN: Undercover police, staging the wedding of «a drug kingpin’s daughter», let it be known on the street that dealers were «invited» (i. e. Expected to attend). The bride and groom were police, as was the band, bartender, and about half the guests. The band playing at the wedding was «S. ... Читать далее...
12. A Change Of VowsDuring the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. «Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d ... Читать далее...
13. Going to a WeddingI got an Invitation in the mail last month that really surprised me. My friend Ulrich was getting married! We went to college together and he always said that he’d never get married. I guess he found his Dream girl in the end. The Church wedding was going to be at 3 p. m. and ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова brideBride — невеста Перевод слова To take a bride — выбрать невесту portionless bride — невеста без приданого yearling bride — год как замужем I give you the Bride and groom! Я предлагаю выпить за жениха и невесту! He and his Bride boarded the train. Он со своей невестой сел в поезд. The Bride and ... Читать далее...
15. A novel grasp on marriageThe child was a typical four-year-old girl — cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, ... Читать далее...
16. This young lady, a flighty young thingThis young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare ... Читать далее...
17. A young couple got married, and in their familyA young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened…but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between ... Читать далее...
18. The Young Mans Big MouthThe Young Man’s Big Mouth A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. «Well,» he said, «I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова nervousNervous — нервный Перевод слова Nervous exhaustion — нервное истощение nervous giggle — нервный смех nervous disorder — нервное расстройство the higher nervous system — высшая нервная деятельность Don’t be Nervous. Не волнуйтесь. It was a very Nervous situation. Обстановка была очень нервной. Sit back, there’s no need to be Nervous. Расслабься, беспокоиться не о ... Читать далее...
20. A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a groupA young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group of hookers. Everyday as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with their pinkies and say «Hi there little boy!!» One day the boy stops and asks one of the hookers why they always wave at him with their pinkies. ... Читать далее...
21. On their honeymoon nightOn their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body. She said, «I can’t wear your pants.» «That’s right,» intoned the groom, «And don’t you forget it. I’m the one who wears the pants in the family.» The bride ... Читать далее...
22. Пословица / поговорка manners make the man / manners make a man — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: manners make the man / manners make a man Перевод: о человеке судят по манерам Пример: «In the modern society manners make a man, and you have no manners at all!» В современном обществе человека определяют манеры, так у тебя же манер нет совсем!...
23. Перевод слова weddingWedding — свадьба Перевод слова Church wedding — венчание members of the wedding — гости на свадьбе penny wedding — свадьба, устраиваемая гостями в складчину When is the Wedding to be? Когда будет свадьба? It’s a video of our Wedding. Это видео нашей свадьбы. He suddenly appeared at the Wedding. Он появился на свадьбе неожиданно....
24. The doctor had just completed his examinationThe doctor had just completed his examination of the gorgeous redhaired beauty. «I would suggest to you, young lady,» began the medic, as he regained som of his professional dignity, «that you discontinue some of your running around. Stop drinking so much, cut down on your smoking, and above all you will have to start ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы spit[spit] or [piss into the wedding cake] {v. phr.}, {vulgar},{avoidable} To spoil someone’s pleasure or celebration by doing orsaying something harsh or unseemly in an otherwise happy gathering;bring up depressing or unhappy subjects at a supposedly happy time. Stuart really spit into the wedding cake when he told Burt in abragging fashion that Lucy, Burl’s ... Читать далее...
26. Five fingersA beautiful young woman marries this seventy year old bloke for his money. On their wedding night she joyfully jumps into bed and he holds up five fingers. «Oh darling!» she squeals with delight, Does that mean five times?» «No», says the old fellow, «it means that you can pick one out.»...
27. Перевод слова demandDemand — требовать, нуждаться; спрос, запрос Перевод слова Demand for higher wages — требование повышения зарплаты excessive demands — чрезмерные запросы demand and supply — спрос и предложение I Demand my money back. Я требую, чтобы мне вернули деньги. World oil Demand is booming. Мировой спрос на нефть быстро растет. His books are in high ... Читать далее...
28. Перевод слова properProper — присущий, свойственный; правильный, надлежащий Перевод слова Feelings proper to mankind — чувства, присущие человеку in the proper way — надлежащим образом proper word — подходящее слово I want our lass to have a Proper education. Я хочу, чтобы наша девочка получила настоящее образование. You need to eat a Proper meal instead of junk ... Читать далее...
29. A young couple gets married, and the groomA young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000. She confronts ... Читать далее...
30. Can you pass the Baby Boomer Quiz?1. Name the Beatles, first and last names. 2. Finish this line: «Lions, and tigers, and bears…» (2 words) 3. «Hey kids, what time is it?» (4 words) 4. What do M&Ms do? 5. What helps build strong bodies 12 ways? 6. Before he was Mohammed Ali, before he was The Greatest, we knew him ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы foot the bill[foot the bill] {v. phr.} To cover the expenses of; pay forsomething. The bride’s father footed two-thirds of the bill for hixdaughter’s wedding. Compare: PICK UP THE TAB....
32. The newly married man came home from workThe newly married man came home from work to find his new bride stretched languorously on the sofa, dressed in a negligee. «Guess what I got planned for dinner?» she asked seductively. «And don’t you dare tell me you had it for lunch today.»...
33. Фразовый глагол pass on (2) — перевод и значение, пример использованияФразовый глагол: pass on (2) Перевод: отказаться (от приглашения поесть, перекусить) Пример: Jennifer passed on the invitation to join us for dinner. Дженнифер отказалась от приглашения поужинать с нами....
34. Two senior couples are walking along, wives in frontTwo senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in back. Herb says to Sam, «Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Good prices too.» Sam says, «Well, we like to eat out too. What was the name of the restaurant?» Herb says, «You’ll going to ... Читать далее...
35. Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming weddingTwo Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding… «I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not.» His buddy replies, «Oh, there’s an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, ... Читать далее...
36. A dog for a wifeIt was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out «Sir, Good Evening, Sir!» The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute ... Читать далее...
37. This snow plow driver from North DakotaThis snow plow driver from North Dakota got married. He and his new Bride prepared for their wedding nite. He watched for a while as she spread three different kinds of creams and then a white foam in preparation for their love making. She finally announced that she was ready. The man then asked if ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы come to pass[come to pass] {v. phr.}, {literary} To happen; occur. Strange things come to pass in troubled times. It came to pass that the jailer visited him by night. His hopes of success did not come to pass. Compare: BRING TO PASS, COME ABOUT....
39. Really torrid honeymoonAfter the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The new husband looked at his bride and said, «You know what I really feel like honey?» «Well sure,» she ... Читать далее...
40. RepetitivenessAfter the lavish wedding reception, the newlyweds retired to their Honeymoon Suite. The groom turned down the lights and found some nice CDs to stack on the player. Then he excused himself and returned in pajamas and robe. He opened a bottle of champagne and poured them each a drink, unaware that his new bride ... Читать далее...