This snow plow driver from North Dakota

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1. Lost In The Snow A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. “If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.” Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for […]...
2. A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. “If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it”. Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for […]...
3. Перевод слова snow Snow – снег, снегопад Перевод слова To be caught in the snow – застрять из-за метели sticky snow – липкий снег fall of snow – выпадение снега It is Snowing. Идет снег. Perhaps it will Snow tomorrow. Возможно, завтра будет снег. Snow is falling in profusion. Снег валит в изобилии. Интересные факты В сериале “Игра […]...
4. A snow town – Город из снега My name is Vika Vishnjakova and I live in a very small town somewhere behind the Polar circle. I study English at school №6 and I am a student of the 7th form. Very often I spend my summer holidays in summer camps near the Black Sea or the Azov Sea. I like it very […]...
5. Three guys were sitting in a bar talking Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; “You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the […]...
6. Значение идиомы snow in [snow in] {v.} To block up or trap by much snow; keep inside, After the storm the farmer and his family were snowed in for threedays. The train went off the track and the passengers were snowedin for several days....
7. Three altar boys are standing in the snow with Three altar boys are standing in the snow with their pants down around their ankles. They have their penis’ in a snow bank. Sister Margaret sticks her head out the window and says, “Boys! Boys! Whatever are you doing… you’re going to catch pneumonia. Put your penis’ away.” The tallest altar boy turns around and […]...
8. Значение идиомы snow under [snow under] {v.} 1. To cover over with snow. The doghouse wassnowed under during the blizzard. 2. {informal} To give so much ofsomething that it cannot be taken care of; to weigh down by so much ofsomething that’ you cannot do anything about it. – Usually used in thepassive. The factory received so many orders […]...
9. I have a question A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float? The father replied, “Don’t rightly know son.” A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, “How do fish […]...
10. Перевод слова necklace Necklace – ожерелье, колье Перевод слова The necklace won’t clasp – ожерелье не застегивается agate necklace – агатовое ожерелье antitank necklace – кольцевое противотанковое заграждение She lost the amberoid Necklace. Она потеряла ожерелье из искусственного янтаря. The Necklace is of no real worth. Ожерелье на самом деле ничего не стоит. I took a clandestine peek […]...
11. Значение идиомы sell snow to the Eskimos [sell snow to the Eskimos] {v. phr.} To sell something to peoplewho already have a large quantity of the same or similar goods. MyAlaskan friend said, “One of the hottest businesses in Alaska isrefrigeration. You could say that I, as a refrigerator expert, amselling snow to the Eskimos.” See: CARRY COALS TO NEWCASTLE....
12. Значение идиомы snow job [snow job] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} 1. Insincere or exaggeratedtalk designed to gain the favors of someone. Joe gave Sue a snowjob and she believed every word of it. 2. The skillful display oftechnical vocabulary and prestige terminology in order to pass oneselfoff as an expert in a specialized field without really being aknowledgeable worker in […]...
13. Catch a drunk driver Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said “Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a police roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!” “Don’t worry, Bubba,” Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers then peel […]...
14. Перевод слова darling Darling – дорогой, любимый Перевод слова My darling son – мой любимый сын darling of fortune – баловень судьбы my darling – любимая You are such a Darling, John. Ты просто прелесть, Джон. What a Darling little house! Какой милый домик! Don’t worry, Darling, Daddy’s here. Не волнуйся, дорогая, папа здесь....
15. As US tourists in Israel As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the […]...
16. A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines. “Don’t know,” the woman said. He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices. He looked in his rearview […]...
17. Значение идиомы cast pearls before swine [cast pearls before swine] or [cast one’s pearls before swine] {n. phr.}, {literary} To waste good acts or valuable things on someone who won’t understand or be thankful for them, just as pigs won’t appreciate pearls. – Often used in negative sentences. I won’t waste good advice on John any more because he never listens […]...
18. A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed, and asked, “Do all the waiters […]...
19. New family driver Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. “I’ll bet you’re back there to get […]...
20. Перевод слова mess Mess – беспорядок, грязь; пачкать, портить Перевод слова In a mess – в беспорядке; вверх дном to make a mess of the tablecloth – запачкать скатерть to mess up a car – испортить машину My life’s such a Mess. Моя жизнь такой бардак. She hates Mess. Она ненавидит беспорядок. My hair is a Mess. У […]...
21. A policeman was patrolling near midnight A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He […]...
22. Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?” She replied, “no sir!” So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, “Did you like that?” “Oh, indeed I did, […]...
23. Значение идиомы on the string [on the string] or [on a string] {adv. phr.}, {informal} Under yourinfluence or control; obedient to every wish. The baby had hismother on a string. She was pretty and popular, with two or threeboys on the string all the time....
24. There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked “Could I have a fucket please?” The assistant asked”Pardon sir?”. “Can I have a fucket please?” Replied the man. […]...
25. As a sergeant in a parachute regiment As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in serveral night time excersises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation. “Scared, Lieutenant?”, I asked. He replied, “No, just a bit apperhensive.” I asked, “What’s […]...
26. It finally happened A man died and went to Heaven. After reaching the gates to Heaven the man was talking with Saint Peter and he asked, “I know I was good during my life, and I really appreciate being brought to Heaven, but I’m really curious… What does Hell look like?” So Saint Peter thought about it a […]...
27. Значение идиомы string [string] See: FIRST STRING, LATCH STRING, ON THE STRING or ON ASTRING, PULL STRINGS, PURSE STRINGS, SHOE-STRING CATCH, TIED TO ONE’SMOTHER’S APRON STRINGS....
28. When Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money and When Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist. Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, “Life isn’t worth living. I think I’m gonna top myself.” “Don’t be stupid, Joe,” said the psychiatrist. “My wife ran […]...
29. Little Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroom Little Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroom one day only catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of fucking his wife. Johnny’s father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little […]...
30. A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever […]...
31. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
32. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
33. The Fisherman One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish. About that time, a businessman came walking down the […]...
34. A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way down a one-way street when a policeman pulled him over. “Didn’t you see the arrow, buddy?” he asked. “An arrow?” the confused driver said. “I didn’t even see the Indians...
35. Clean St. Patrick’s Day Humor In hearing an Irish case of assault and battery, counsel, in cross examining one of the witnesses, asked him what they had the first place they stopped at. “Four glasses of ale,” was the reply. “Next?” “Two glasses of whiskey.” “Next?” “One glass of brandy.” “Next?” “A fight.” In West Kerry, the wife commented, “When […]...
36. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]...
37. This fellow comes to confession This fellow comes to confession. “Father, he said, forgive me for I have sinned.” The priest asked, “What did you do, my son?” “I lusted,” the fellow replied. “Tell me about it,” the priest said. The fellow then related his story. “Father, I am a deliveryman for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in […]...
38. Blonde on blonde A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. “What does it look like?” she finally […]...
39. Another ethnic joke A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, “What a Pollack.” The Polish man said, “I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew.” […]...
40. Could you please pass The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband’s lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. “I demand proper manners in bed,” she declared, “just as I do at the dinner table.” Amused by his wife’s formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. “Is that better?” […]...