Change my mind

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1. An unfortunate coincidence One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem–my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell […]...
2. Перевод слова ceiling Ceiling – потолок Перевод слова Ceiling with timbers – балочный потолок ceiling fan – потолочный вентилятор low ceiling – низкий потолок The house has low Ceilings. В доме низкие потолки. A “Ceiling” was set upon all commodity prices. На все товары широкого потребления установлен потолок цен. Mind your head – the Ceiling’s a bit low. […]...
3. Значение идиомы give one a piece of one’s mind [give one a piece of one’s mind] {v. phr.}, {informal} To scoldangrily; say what you really think to. Mr. Allen gave theother driver a piece of his mind. The sergeant gave the soldier apiece of his mind for not cleaning his boots. Syn.: TELL OFF. Compare: BAWL OUT, DRESS DOWN, GIVE IT TO, TONGUE LASHING....
4. Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration – that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper. “Gladly,” responded the good man. When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder […]...
5. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]...
6. After church on Sunday morning, a young boy After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided I’m going to be a minister when I grow up. “That’s okay with us,” the mother said, “But what made you decide to be a minister?” “Well,” the boy replied, “I’ll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, […]...
7. Purchasing new brains A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I. Q. 20 points. After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center’s director that he was an acceptable candidate. […]...
8. A Lutheran minister is driving down A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he’s stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, “Sir, have you been drinking?” And the minister says, “Just water.” The […]...
9. On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. “Would it be right,” he asked, “for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?” “Absolutely not!” replied the pastor. “In that case,” said the young man, “I wonder if you’d consider returning the hundred dollars I paid […]...
10. Значение идиомы change one’s mind [change one’s mind] {v. phr.} To alter one’s opinion or judgment on a given issue. I used to hate Chicago, but as the years passed I gradually changed my mind and now I actually love living here....
11. The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, […]...
12. Перевод идиомы give someone a piece of one’s mind, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: give someone a piece of one’s mind Перевод: сказать, выложить все, что говорящий о ком-либо или чем-либо думает; высказать свое недовольство Пример: When I met my friend yesterday, I gave her a piece of my mind. Когда я встретила вчера свою подругу, я высказала ей свое недовольство....
13. Some things never change I guess some things will never change. I hired a temp while my secretary was on maternity leave. Trying to arrive at an agreeable wage, I asked what she expected to earn. She said, “Well… the minimum I could work for is four hundred a week.” I told her I’d give her that much with […]...
14. The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out. He couldn’t concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone […]...
15. A Change Of Vows During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d […]...
16. The wrong definition Way down in the deep south, in an area known as the ‘Bible Belt,’ there lived a Baptist minister with a very large congregation. One morning, after a particularly moving sermon, he announced, “Friends I have been hearing very nasty rumors!” The crowd fell into an expectant silence. The Minister continued, “One of you, here […]...
17. Перевод идиомы change one’s mind, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: change one’s mind Перевод: поменять, изменить решение, передумать Пример: My friend changed his mind and said that he would not go to the movie tonight. Мой друг поменял свое решение и сказал, что не пойдет сегодня вечером в кино....
18. At the first session of a conversion class At the first session of a conversion class the minister conducting the class asked, “What must we do before we can expect forgiveness from sin?” After a long silence, one of the men in attendance raised his hand and said: “Sin?”...
19. A talking bird One man wanted to make a special gift for his mother on the Mother’s day. He run out of ideas but then found a pet shop where was birds that could sing, talk and dance. The price was 5 thousand dollars, but he bought two of them and send to his mother as a surprise. […]...
20. Giving Warnings and Cautions Brett: Hi, Mom. Come in. Welcome to my new place. My roommates aren’t here right now or I’d introduce you. Mom: Hi, dear. This is…uh…nice. Brett: It is, isn’t it? I know you were a little worried about me Moving out and into a house with five roommates. But as you can see, this is […]...
21. Значение идиомы piece [piece] See: BY THE PIECE, CONVERSATION PIECE, GIVE A PIECE OFONE’S MIND, GO TO PIECES, OF A PIECE, PIECE OF CAKE, SAY ONE’S PIECEor SPEAK ONE’S PIECE, TO PIECES....
22. A man was leaving church one day A man was leaving church one day. The Pastor was standing at the door (as he always is) to shake hands with members of the congregation. He grasped the man by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” The man replied, “I’m […]...
23. One day in the Garden of Eden One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem!” “What’s the problem, Eve?” “Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I’m just not happy.” “Why is that, Eve?” came the […]...
24. A fine sermon A man finally goes with his wife to church. The man was so impressed with the preacher’s sermon he stopped on the way out to shake his hand. “Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a DAMNED fine sermon.” The preacher says “Why thank you sir, but we don’t used profanity in the house of the […]...
25. Перевод слова minister Minister – министр, священник Перевод слова Ex-minister – бывший министр, экс-министр the Minister of Finance – министр финансов forceful minister – влиятельный министр The Minister pronounced them man and wife. Священник объявил их мужем и женой. He always has access to the Prime Minister. У него всегда есть доступ к премьер-министру. The Minister said, “Let […]...
26. Перевод идиомы speak one’s piece / speak one’s mind, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: speak one’s piece / speak one’s mind Перевод: говорить откровенно, начистоту; говорить все, как есть Пример: I think that it is time for me to speak my piece and tell somebody about my complaints about our company. Наверное, теперь и мне пора сказать то, что я думаю и пожаловаться кому-нибудь на нашу компанию....
27. Значение идиомы mind [mind] See: CROSS ONE’S MIND or PASS THROUGH ONE’S MIND, GIVE APIECE OF ONE’S MIND, HALF A MIND, IN MIND, IN ONE’S MIND’S EYE, MAKEUP ONE’S MIND, NEVER MIND, ON ONE’S MIND, OUT OF ONE’S HEAD or OUT OFONE’S MIND, PUT IN MIND OF, READ ONE’S MIND....
28. What kind of a woman “Would you sleep with me for ten thousand dollars?” asked John “Yes, I will.” Paula replied. “Would you do it for one thousand?” he asked. “Well maybe, or maybe I’d do something else for you.” she answered with a wink. “How about a blowjob for $20?” responded John. “Hey! What kind of women do you […]...
29. Значение идиомы speak one’s mind [speak one’s mind] {v. phr.} To say openly what you think; giveadvice that may not be liked. John thought it was wrong to keepGeorge out of the club and he spoke his mind about it. Compare: SOUNDOFF....
30. Flying in the plane Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, “No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.” The years […]...
31. Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle god […]...
32. A Traditional Wedding I arrived at my friend Karin’s Wedding a little late and the ceremony had already begun. I’ve been to a lot of Civil ceremonies, but it had been a while since I’d attended a religious one. They had asked a Minister To Officiate. When I arrived, Karin and her Fiance, Jan, were standing in front […]...
33. A fair offer One day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the back yard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and trim his […]...
34. Divine Right Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest […]...
35. A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said. “Can we leave now?” “No,” her mother replied. “Well, I think I have to throw up!” “Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.” […]...
36. Collection 06 We hear you are a lady killer. They take one look at you and die of fright!! We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, “Do not come home and all will be forgiven”. You have a good family tree, but the crop is a failure. I […]...
37. The ages of man God created the mule, and told him, ‘you will be Mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years. The mule answered: ‘To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more […]...
38. UCLA Computer Club This one hasn’t come up despite the presence of UCLA on the net. I’m led to the sad conclusion that the tradition has died. In the mid ’70s, just before it was overrun by fanatic Dungeons Dragons ™ players, the UCLA Computer Club was host to a long series of “glitter traps.” Example: joke subject […]...
39. Changed my mind! This bloke picks up woman at the local pub. They go for a romantic walk down the street. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll his lustful desires rise to a fever pitch. He is just about to put the hard word on her when she says, “I hope you don’t mind but […]...
40. Значение идиомы head over heels [head over heels] also [heels over head] 1a. In a somersault;upside down; head first. It was so dark Bob fell head over heelsinto a big hole in the ground. Compare: UPSIDE DOWN. 1b. In greatconfusion or disorder; hastily. The children all tried to come inthe door at once, head over heels. Compare: TOPSY-TURVY. 2.{informal} Completely; […]...