Card games
A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why had she left her previous employment, she replied, “Yes, sir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked. Last night they played a game called Bridge and a lot of folks were there. As I was about to bring in the refreshments, I heard a man say, “Lay down and let’s see what you’ve got.” Another man said, “I’ve got strength but no length.” Another man says to the lady, “Take your hand off my trick!” “I pretty dropped dead just then, when the lady answered, “You jumped me twice when you didn’t have the strength for one raise.” Another lady was talking about protecting her honor. Another lady said, “Now it’s time for me to play with your husband and you can play with mine.” “Well, I just got my hat and coat and as I was leaving, I hope to die if one of them didn’t say, “Well, I guess we’ll go home now. This is the last rubber”
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- Back in the good ole days in Texas Back in the good ole days in Texas, when stage coaches and the like were popular, there were three people in a stage coach one day: a true red blooded born and raised Texas gentleman, a tenderfoot city slicker from back East, and a beautiful and well endowed Texas lady. The city slicker kept eyeing […]...
- Перевод слова lady Lady – леди, женщина Перевод слова Great lady – знатная дама you’ve dropped your gloves, lady! – женщина, вы обронили перчатки! foxy lady – соблазнительная женщина your good lady – ваша супруга Shall we rejoin the Ladies? Не вернуться ли нам к дамам? She’s swell, a real Lady. Она одевается стильно, как настоящая леди. Don’t […]...
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- Перевод слова honor Honor – слава, почет, честь Перевод слова To honor a request – выполнять просьбу word of honor – слово чести honor camp – амер. лагерь для “почетных заключенных” I pledge my Honor. Клянусь своей честью. “We plead guilty, Your Honor.” “Мы признаем свою вину, Ваша Честь.” I pledge that I will Honor my wife. Я […]...
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- Перевод слова strength Strength – сила, прочность Перевод слова The strength of a rope – прочность веревки strength of materials – сопротивление материалов a position of strength – позиция силы In unity there is Strength. В единстве сила. Jo hit him with all her Strength. Джо ударила его изо всех сил. My Strength is draining away. Мои силы […]...
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- Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to […]...
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- The Plumber has arrived A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o’clock. Ten o’clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, one o’clock; no plumber. She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived. He knocked on the door; the lady’s […]...
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- Giving very odd excuses The General went out to find that none of his G. I. s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily. “Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found […]...
- Перевод слова card Card – карточка, пластиковая карта, открытка, визитка Перевод слова Credit card – кредитная карта greeting card – поздравительная открытка postal card – почтовая карточка, открытка That’s the Card. Вот это именно то, что нужно. Let’s play Cards. Давайте играть в карты. Can I pay by credit Card? Могу ли я заплатить кредитной картой?...
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- During WW II an American soldier During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not […]...
- The talking dog A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. “This is a talking dog,” he said. “And you can have him for five dollars.” The neighbour said, “Who do you think you’re kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain’t no such animal.” Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. “Please […]...
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- Save the dead rabbit A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side […]...
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- Who’s got a bigger crotch? There were three women sitting in a bar and they were discussing how much their husbands could get up their crotch. The first women said, “My husband can get his whole hand up me”. The second lady said, “My husband can get his whole head up me”. The third lady slid down the bar stool....
- Hair spray A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side […]...
- Значение идиомы go from strength to strength [go from strength to strength] {v. phr.} To move forward, increasing one’s fame, power, or fortune in a series of successfulachievements. Our basketball team has gone from strength tostrength....
- Перевод слова raise Raise – поднимать, повышать Перевод слова To raise one’s bid – повысить цены to raise the blind – поднять штору to raise discontent – возбуждать недовольство to raise capital – увеличить капитал He Raised his head and looked around. Он поднял голову и огляделся. Camus was born and Raised in Algeria. Камю родился и вырос […]...
- A Hero A large crowd had formed at the Pearly Gates, when Saint Peter came out with an announcement. “Because Heaven has become overcrowded, we can only let heroes in today. Is anyone here a hero?” One small man raised his hand. “I am,” he said. “What did you do that was heroic?” asked Saint Peter skeptically. […]...
- Значение идиомы on the strength of [on the strength of] {prep.} With faith or trust in; dependingupon; with the support of. On the strength of Jim’s promise toguide us, we decided to climb the mountain. Bill started arestaurant on the strength of his experience as a cook in the army....
- Wrong card At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, “No.” A clerk came over and asked, “May I help you?” “I don’t know,” said the woman. “Do you have any ‘Sorry I laughed at your dick’ cards?”...
- Mary was having an affair during the day while Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband, John, was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend, Ralph, and she heard her husband’s car pull in the driveway. She yelled at Ralph: “Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window my husband is home early!” Ralph looked […]...
- Значение идиомы jump the gun [jump the gun] also [beat the gun] {v. phr.} 1. To start before thestarter’s gun in a race. The runners were called back because oneof them jumped the gun. 2. {informal} To start before you should;start before anyone else. The new students were not supposed tocome before noon, but one boy jumped the gun and […]...
- Значение идиомы dead to rights [dead to rights] {adv. phr.}, {informal} Without a chance of escaping blame; proven wrong. Mother had Bob dead to rights, because she caught him with his hand in the cookie jar. The police caught the man dead to rights....
- Passing a parrot A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same […]...