Home ⇒ 📌Jokes ⇒ Bying a horse

Bying a horse

This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend “I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I’m sending him over.” The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse. “A female horth,” the midget replies. So the owner shows him one. “Nith looking horth, can I see thea her mouth?” So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse s mouth. “Nith mouth. Can I see her eyesth?” So the owner picks up the midget and shows the eyes. “Ok, what about the earsth?” Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget one more time and shows the ears. “OK, finally, I d like to see her twat,” said the midget. With that, the owner picked up the midget and shoved his head up the horse’s twat, then pulled him out. Shaking his head, the midget says, “perhapth I should rephrase. I’d like to see her run!”


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)

Related topics:

  1. Значение идиомы horse [horse] See: BET ON THE WRONG HORSE, CART BEFORE THE HORSE, CHANGEHORSES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREAM or CHANGE HORSES IN MIDSTREAM, EATLIKE A HORSE, HOLD ONE’S HORSES. IRON HORSE, LOCK THE BARN DOOR AFTERTHE HORSE IS STOLEN, LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH, OFF ONE’S HIGHHORSE, ON ONE’S HIGH HORSE, PUT ONE’S […]...
  2. Значение идиомы horse trade [horse trade] {n.} 1. The sale of a horse or the exchange of twohorses. It was a horse trade in which the owner of the worse animalgave a rifle to make the trade equal. 2. {informal} A businessagreement or bargain arrived at after hard and skillful discussion. Party leaders went around for months making horse […]...
  3. Значение идиомы straight from the horse’s mouth [straight from the horse’s mouth] {slang} Directly from the personor place where it began; from a reliable source or a person thatcannot be doubted. They are going to be married. I got the newsstraight from the horse’s mouth – their minister. John found outabout the painting straight from the horse’s mouth, from the painterhimself....
  4. A talking horse A travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. “Yes sir, I’m a fine horse. I’ve run in 25 races and won over??5 million. I keep my […]...
  5. Значение идиомы look a gift horse in the mouth [look a gift horse in the mouth] To complain if a gift is notperfect. – A proverb. Usually used with a negative. John gave Joe abaseball but Joe complained that the ball was old. His father told himnot to look a gift horse in the mouth....
  6. Перевод идиомы straight from the horse’s mouth, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: straight from the horse’s mouth Перевод: из первых уст; со слов того, кто был непосредственным участником чего-либо Пример: I heard about my friend’s wedding straight from the horse’s mouth. Я услышал о свадьбе моего друга из первых уст....
  7. Значение идиомы mouth [mouth] See: BORN WITH A SILVER SPOON IN ONE’S MOUTH, BUTTERWOULDN’T MELT IN ONE’S MOUTH, BY WORD OF MOUTH, DOWN IN THE DUMPS orDOWN IN THE MOUTH, FOAM AT THE MOUTH, HEART IN ONE’S MOUTH, KEEP ONE’SMOUTH SHUT, LAUGH ON THE WRONG SIDE OF ONE’S MOUTH, LEAVE A BAD TASTEIN ONE’S MOUTH, LIVE FROM HAND […]...
  8. Пословица / поговорка never look a gift horse in the mouth – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: never look a gift horse in the mouth Перевод: дареному коню в зубы не смотрят Пример: You should never look a gift horse in the mouth and instead accept a gift even if you do not want or need it. Не следует смотреть дареному коню в зубы, лучше принять подарок, даже если […]...
  9. Перевод слова horse Horse – лошадь, конь Перевод слова Horse breeding – разведение лошадей draught horse – упряжная лошадь heavy draught horse – тяжеловоз Caparison my Horse. Седлай моего коня! He jumped his Horse. Он заставил лошадь прыгнуть. The Horse is in form. Лошадь вполне подготовлена к бегам....
  10. A midget walks into the doctors and says A midget walks into the doctors and says, “Doc, I’ve got these fucking itchy balls and I can’t do anything to stop ’em itching”. The Doc says, “I can see the problem and I’ll fix it for ya” So the Doc pulls out a pair of scissors and tells the Midget to close his eyes. […]...
  11. A tall woman met a midget at a party A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman’s apartment. “I can’t imagine what it will be like making love to a midget,” said the woman, “especially with the size […]...
  12. A horse and a rabbit A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. He drives the farmer’s Mercedes […]...
  13. A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s […]...
  14. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Look a gift horse in the mouth” Penny Пенни This trip isn’t a good idea. Эта поездка – не такая уж хорошая идея. Andrew Эндрю Oh, don’t be such a spoilsport. Ну, не будь такой занудой. Penny Пенни But, there’s a hole in the tent. Но в палатке – дырка. Andrew Эндрю Yes, but we can’t Look a gift horse in the […]...
  15. Значение идиомы horse of a different color [horse of a different color] or [horse of another color] {n. phr.},{informal} Something altogether separate and different. Anyone canbe broke, but to steal is a horse of a different color. Do youmean that the boy with that pretty girl is her brother? I thought hewas her boyfriend. Well, that’s a horse of another color....
  16. Перевод идиомы high horse, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: high horse Перевод: высокомерное, надменное или презрительное отношение (часто используется в выражениях Get on your high horse и Get off your high horse) Пример: Get off your high horse and stop acting so mean. Перенстань быть таким высокомерным, и хватит так низко себя вести....
  17. Перевод идиомы horse trade, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: horse trade Перевод: вести трудные деловые переговоры, а также приходить к соглашению, достигнутому в ходе таких переговоров Пример: We had to horse trade but we were finally able to reach an agreement to buy the antique car. Нам пришлось вести сложные переговоры, но мы смогли прийти к соглашению о покупке антикварного автомобиля....
  18. Using nails on a house These two newfies are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away. This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over […]...
  19. Значение идиомы cart before the horse [cart before the horse ] {n. phr.}, {informal} Things in wrong order; something backwards or mixed up. – An overused expression. Usually used with “put” but sometimes with “get” or “have”. When the salesman wanted money for goods he hadn’t delivered, I told him he was putting the cart before the horse. To get married […]...
  20. Значение идиомы on one’s high horse [on one’s high horse] {adj. phr.}, {informal} 1. Acting as if youare better than others; being very proud and scornful. Martha waschairman of the picnic committee, and at the picnic she was on herhigh horse, telling everyone what to do. Mrs. Jones asked to see aless expensive hat. The salesgirl got up on her high […]...
  21. A blonde decides to try horseback riding A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and then horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, […]...
  22. Значение идиомы horse sense [horse sense] {n.}, {informal} A good understanding about what todo in life; good judgment; wisdom in making decisions. Bill hadnever been to college, but he had plenty of horse sense. Somepeople are well educated and read many books, but still do not havemuch horse sense....
  23. Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and “splash” they’re all in the pool. The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is […]...
  24. Travel with a horse An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer […]...
  25. Значение идиомы bet on the wrong horse [bet on the wrong horse] {v. phr,}, {informal} To base your plans on a wrong guess about the result of something; misread the future; misjudge a coming event. To count on the small family farm as an important thing in the American future now looks like betting on the wrong horse. He expected Bush to […]...
  26. There was once a wide mouth frog There was once a wide mouth frog. She had babies and she didn’t know what to feed them. She went to the cow, talking with her mouth real wide, she said, “COW, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?” The Cow said, “I feed my babies milk.” She went on to the horse. Talking with her […]...
  27. Значение идиомы off one’s high horse [off one’s high horse] {adj. phr.}, {informal} 1. Not acting proudand scornful; humble and agreeable. The girls were so kind to Nancyafter her mother died that she came down off her high horse and madefriends with them. 2. Acting friendly again; not angry and unpleasantany more; agreeable. Sally wouldn’t speak to anyone all afternoonbecause she […]...
  28. Значение идиомы ear [ear] See: ABOUT ONE’S EARS or AROUND ONE’S EARS, BELIEVE ONE’SEARS, DRY BEHIND THE EARS, FLEA IN ONE’S EAR, GIVE AN EAR TO or LENDAN EAR TO, GO IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER, JUG-EARED, LITTLE PITCHERSHAVE BIG EARS, MUSIC TO ONE’S EARS, PIN ONE’S EARS BACK, PLAY BY EAR, PRICK UP ONE’S EARS, […]...
  29. Перевод сленгового выражения twat, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: twat Сленговое выражение: twat Груб. Перевод: идиот, придурок, неприятный человек Синоним: wanker (BrE) Пример: Get out, you twat! Убирайся отсюда, подонок!...
  30. Значение идиомы come down off one’s high horse [come down off one’s high horse] {v. phr.} To become less arrogant; to assume a more modest disposition. The boastful candidate for Congress quickly came down off his high horse when he was soundly beaten by his opponent....
  31. Is that your horse The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside?” The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, “I do. Why?” The cowboy looked at the […]...
  32. Значение идиомы put one’s money on a scratched horse [put one’s money on a scratched horse] {v. phr.}, {informal} To beton a certain failure; to gamble without a chance of winning. Youbet on the New York Mets to win the World Series? Why put your moneyon a scratched horse? Compare: STACK THE CARDS....
  33. Перевод идиомы eat like a horse, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: eat like a horse Перевод: много есть Пример: My friend eats like a horse but he never gains any weight. Мой друг много ест, но никогда не набирает веса....
  34. Значение идиомы iron horse [iron horse] {n.}, {informal} A railroad locomotive; the engine ofa railroad train. In its first days, the iron horse frightened manypeople as it roared across country scattering sparks....
  35. Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going? Dog: Doin alright. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How’s he treat you? […]...
  36. Перевод идиомы get off one’s high horse, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: get off one’s high horse Перевод: вести себя поскромнее, попроще; перестать быть высокомерным или надменным Пример: “Sometimes you are so annyoing! Get off your high horse and stop thinking that you’re better than me!” Иногда ты такой назойливый! Хватит быть таким надменным и думать, чтоы ты лучше меня! We should all get off our […]...
  37. Перевод идиомы charley horse, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: charley horse Перевод: судорога (обычно в руке или ноге) Пример: I got a charley horse in my leg while I was running this morning. У меня свело ногу, когда я бегал сегодня утром....
  38. Значение идиомы dark horse [dark horse] {n.}, {informal} A political candidate little known to the general voting public; a candidate who was not expected to run. Every once in a while a dark horse candidate gets elected President....
  39. Перевод идиомы (get) on one’s high horse, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: (get) on one’s high horse Перевод: вести себя высокомерно или с презрением; считать себя умнее или лучше других Пример: When he gets carried away he gets on his high horse and thinks that all other people are inferior. Когда его заносит, он часто начинает вести себя надменно, и думать, что другие люди ниже него. […]...
  40. Перевод идиомы horse sense, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: horse sense Перевод: здравый смысл, рассудительность Пример: Our boss has good horse sense so you can expect him to make an intelligent decision. Наш начальник очень рассудителен, поэтому можешь рассчитывать, что он примет разумное решение....
Bying a horse
«
»