An extremely loyal fan

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1. At The Superbowl Bob received a free ticket to the Superbowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium – he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat […]...
2. A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The guy said, “Yes, that’s my wife’s seat. We have never missed a game since […]...
3. He is extremely drunk Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. “Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven […]...
4. Перевод слова relative Relative – родственник; относительный Перевод слова Relative position – относительное положение beauty is relative – красота – понятие относительное close relative – близкий родственник The donkey is a Relative of the horse. Осел – это родственник лошади. He’s been nursing an elderly Relative. Он присматривает за престарелым родственником. Nothing could be extracted from him Relative […]...
5. Redneck wins lottery A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says “I want my $20 million.” To which the man replied, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today, and then you’ll get the rest […]...
6. Перевод слова loyal Loyal – верный, лояльный Перевод слова Loyal wife – преданная жена loyal friend – верный друг loyal subjects of the king – верноподданные короля Your Loyals are betraying you. Прежде верные тебе люди предают тебя. The shop has a small but Loyal following. У магазина была небольшая, но преданная клиентура. Loyals are less price sensitive […]...
7. Commuting by Train Lisa: Can you tell me if this is the right Platform for the Train to Arlington? Omar: Yes, it is. Is this your first time taking the train? Lisa: Is it that Obvious? Omar: No, you just look a little lost. Lisa: I’m starting a new job and I have To commute to work for […]...
8. Two old friends from the mountains ran into each other Two old friends from the mountains ran into each other at the local bar. One said, “Heard ya went to the big city Jeb.” His friend replied, “Yep. Even tried me out one of those ‘loose women’ ya always hear about.” “You don’t say.” said the first man. “Bet that was costly.” “Nope.” Jeb smirked. […]...
9. During WW II an American soldier During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not […]...
10. Значение идиомы relative to [relative to] 1. On the subject of; about. Relative to schoolathletics, the principal said the students should not allow athleticsto interfere with homework. 2. In comparison with; in proportion to. Relative to the size of an ant, a blade of grass is as tall as atree....
11. Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair […]...
12. Перевод слова ticket Ticket – билет, квитанция Перевод слова Ticket stub – корешок билета airplane ticket – билет на самолет bus ticket – автобусный билет Can I see your Ticket, please? Разрешите ваш билет, пожалуйста. I got a Ticket for speeding. Мне выписали штраф за превышение скорости. The plane Ticket costs $170. Этот авиабилет стоит 170 долларов....
13. Перевод слова loss Loss – потеря, утрата Перевод слова Massive loss of blood – большая потеря крови to bear loss – нести потери loss of cabin pressure – разгерметизация кабины Weight Loss should be gradual. Похудение должно быть постепенным. The Loss of a job is no light matter. Потеря работы – не такое уж незначительное событие. I do […]...
14. Значение идиомы That’s the ticket! [That’s the ticket!] Informal way to say, “excellent; correct.” “First we’ll go up the Sears Tower, and then we’ll take a nightsightseeing tour on the lake,” Fran said. “That’s the ticket!” Stan, an old inhabitant of Chicago, replied....
15. Аэропорт и самолет на английском Landing – посадка landing gear – шасси lavatory – туалет life vest – спасательный жилет liquid – жидкость luggage, baggage – багаж luggage carrier – тележка (для багажа) luggage tags / labels – бирки на багаже luggage ticket – багажная квитанция metal detector – металлоискатель middle seat – среднее сидение no smoking sign – сигнал […]...
16. Перевод слова empty Empty – пустой, опорожнять Перевод слова Empty boast – пустое хвастовство to empty a bottle – опустошить бутылку empty hotels – свободные отели The streets were Empty. Улицы были пусты. The treasury is almost Empty. Казна почти пуста. I found myself Empty. Я обнаружил, что голоден. Примеры из жизни В настольных операционных системах существует понятие […]...
17. Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant approached Muhammad Ali and asked that he fasten his seat belt. “Superman don’t need no seat belt,” Ali growled. “Well, Superman,” the stewardess replied, “don’t need no airplane!”...
18. A man walks into a friend and sees A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend’s car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, “What’s happened to your car?” “Well,” the friend responses, “I ran into a lawyer”. “OK,” says the man, “that explains the blood… But what about the leaves, […]...
19. A partially deaf gentleman was extolling the virtues A partially deaf gentleman was extolling the virtues of his new hearing aid. “It’s marvelous,” he enthused to a friend. “Since I acquired it I can hear the birds chirping on the hearth. I can also hear clearly a conversation being held in an apartment a full block away!” “You don’t say,” said his friend. […]...
20. Traveling by Bus Samantha: Good morning. I had a few questions about buying a bus ticket. Do I need to buy one In advance? Agent: You can, but it’s not necessary. You just need to arrive at the Terminal at least an hour before the scheduled departure time to buy your ticket. Boarding begins about 15 to 30 […]...
21. Перевод идиомы at a loss for words, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: at a loss for words Перевод: быть не в состоянии говорить; не знать, что сказать Пример: I was at a loss for words when I met my friend after many years. Я и слова не мог вымолвить, когда встретил своего друга после стольких многих лет....
22. A policeman was patrolling near midnight A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He […]...
23. Значение идиомы split ticket [split ticket] {n.} A vote for candidates from more than one party. Mr. Jones voted a split ticket. An independent voter likes asplit ticket. Contrast: STRAIGHT TICKET....
24. An easy solution On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.” Not wanting to argue […]...
25. Значение идиомы at a loss [at a loss] {adj. phr.} In a state of uncertainty; without any idea; puzzled. A good salesman is never at a loss for words. When Don missed the last bus, he was at a loss to know what to do....
26. Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. “Give me your money”, he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, “Hey, watch it – I’m a United States Congressman!” “In that case,” replied the mugger, “give me MY money.”...
27. A note exchange A driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off: “I’ve circled the block for 20 minutes. I’m late for an appointment, and if I don’t park here I’ll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses.” Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note: “I’ve circled the block […]...
28. A game of golf A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his mate what happened. “Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough,” replied his friend. “Then I met a chick who was looking for her ball too. […]...
29. Household items Back in the ’70s, days of conspicuous (ahem) consumption, Hugh Hefner was showing a friend around the Playboy Mansion. At one point, Hefner turned to his friend, and said, “Did you ever hear this joke? A woman receives flowers from her boyfriend. She turns to her friend, and says, ‘Oh, great. Now I’ll have to […]...
30. A horrible tragedy A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?” “My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.” “Gee, that’s tough,” he replied. “Then in July,” the friend continued, “My father died leaving me $50,000.” “Wow. Two […]...
31. Значение идиомы can’t help but [can’t help but] {informal} also {formal} [cannot but] {v. phr.} To be forced to; can only; must. When the streets are full of melting snow, you can’t help but get your shoes wet. When a friend gave Jim a ticket to the game, he couldn’t help but go. When a close friend dies, you cannot […]...
32. Get me off this train One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the ticket man: “Sir. I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get down this train in Mannheim, but I’m very tired and it is for sure that I will fall asleep. So […]...
33. Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked the other, “Do you ever get to feeling horny?” “Yes,” her friend replied. “What do you do about it?” “I usually suck on a Lifesaver.” After a moment of stunned silence her friend asked, “Well, what beach do you go to?”...
34. Перевод слова seat Seat – сиденье, место, стул Перевод слова A car with four seats – четырехместная машина please, take a seat – садитесь, пожалуйста garden seat – садовая скамейка This Seat is engaged. Это место занято. Is this Seat free? Это место свободно? Dibs on the front Seat! Чур, я на переднем сиденье! Примеры из жизни В […]...
35. I didn’t get any money this time A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?” “My mother died in August,” he said, “and left me $25,000.” “Gee, that’s tough,” he replied. “Then in September,” the friend continued, “My father died, leaving me $90,000.” “Wow. Two […]...
36. You might be a redneck if 01 You might be a redneck if… More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. You think the stock market has a fence around it. You think the O. J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test. You’ve ever lost a loved one to kudzu. Your boat has not […]...
37. Course of action One Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around the water cooler at the office. “Veronica, I just don’t know what to do,” Gloria said to her friend at work. “That good-looking Alex in accounting asked me out on a date for Saturday night. Should I go?” “Oh, my God!” her friend exclaimed. “He’ll wine you, […]...
38. Going to the Emergency Room Saturday, 9:35 p. m. I arrive in the Emergency room. I had been at a party earlier in the evening when I accidentally cut my finger. My finger wasn’t Severed, but it did have a very deep cut and I thought I might need Stitches. I check in at the Admissions desk and I’m told […]...
39. Humor about Ireland 2 Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. “Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I’m afraid he’s goin’ to die.” “Shure, an’ why would he be dyin’?” asked the other. “Ah, he’s gotten so thin. You’re thin enough, and I’m thin – but by my soul, Micheal Hogan is […]...
40. A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said. “Can we leave now?” “No,” her mother replied. “Well, I think I have to throw up!” “Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.” […]...