Abraham wants to upgrade his PC to Windows 95

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1. 12 Days of Windows 95 On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . […]...
2. Is Windows a Virus? No, Windows is not a virus. Here’s what viruses (viri?) do: 1. They replicate quickly – okay, Windows does that. 2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so – okay, Windows does that. 3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk – okay, Windows does […]...
3. Abraham Lincoln (2) Abraham Lincoln was the son of a poor farmer. He was born in 1809 and his childhood was spent in hard work. He helped his father on their small farm. But in 1816, when Abraham was only 7 years old, his father lost his farm and his family moved to another part of the country. […]...
4. Twelve days Microsoft Twelve days of Microsoft On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 3 ports […]...
5. Биография Авраама Линкольна/ The Biography of Abraham Lincoln На английском языке Перевод на русский язык The Biography of Abraham Lincoln Биография Авраама Линкольна Abraham Lincoln is one of the most famous American presidents. To be precise, he is the 16th president of the USA. Thanks to him the country successfully went through financial, military, moral and other types of crisis. He was also […]...
6. From Boyfriend to Husband upgrade Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but […]...
7. Перевод слова faith Faith – вера, доверие, убеждения Перевод слова To shake smb.’s faith – поколебать чью-л. веру the Christian faith – христианство to break one’s faith – отступиться от своих взглядов By my Faith! Клянусь честью! We have discarded our Faith in astrology and witches. Мы покончили с нашей верой в астрологию, ведьм и колдуний. She is […]...
8. Перевод слова minimum Minimum – минимум Перевод слова Minimum custody – режим минимальной изоляции angle of minimum deflection – угол наименьшего отклонения to hold price increases to a minimum – сдерживать рост цен Its Minimum height from the sea is 900 feet. Его минимальная высота над уровнем моря – 900 футов. The Minimum of time had been given […]...
9. Abraham Lincoln – Авраам Линкольн Abraham Lincoln was born in Hodgenville, Kentucky, on 12th February, 1809. His family was poor, so Lincoln didn’t go to school. He mostly studied at home. He used to borrow books or study the bible. At the age of 22, Lincoln left Kentucky and moved to the village of New Salem in Illinois. There, he […]...
10. Перевод слова memory Memory – память Перевод слова Chased on her memory – запечатлевшийся в ее памяти memory cleaning – очистка памяти irretention of memory – слабая память lapse of memory – провал памяти He has a long Memory. У него хорошая память. A word rings in my Memory. Мне все вспоминается одно слово. Alice’s Memory will live […]...
11. Certificate of Upgrade to Complete Asshole Certificate of Upgrade to Complete Asshole Certificate of Upgrade To Complete Asshole Is awarded to ————————————————————- In Recognition of Your Obnoxious Attitude, Ability to Piss People Off, Complete Asinine Juvenile Behavior and Total Dedication to Personal Gain Without Regard to the Many Hardships You Have Forced Upon Friends, Family, and Others During Your Lifetime, You […]...
12. Значение идиомы on faith [on faith] {adv. phr.} Without question or proof. He said he wastwenty-one years old and the employment agency took him on faith. He looked so honest that we accepted his story on faith....
13. How did you do that?? Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. “Well, Morrie, how’s your warehouse business going?” . “Oy vey, Abraham, it’s not going so good, we had a flood last week.” “So, Morrie,” whispers Abraham “How do you start a flood?”....
14. Ordering Food Delivery Order clerk: Hello, Torino’s Restaurant. Nancy: Hello, I’d like To place a Delivery order. Order clerk: Can I have your address and the Major cross streets, please? Nancy: It’s 1212 Main Street, and the nearest cross streets are Speedway and Highland. Order clerk: Okay, it looks like you’re in our Delivery area. What would you […]...
15. Значение идиомы good faith [good faith] {n.} 1. Belief in another person’s honesty; trust. Uncle Dick let me have the keys to his candy store to show his goodfaith. – Often used in the phrase “in good faith”. The teacheraccepted Bob’s excuse for being late in good faith. 2. Honesty ofpurpose; trustworthiness. John agreed to buy Ted’s bicycle for […]...
16. A customer walks into a restaurant and notices A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, “$500 if we fail to fill your order.” When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant tail on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen. Almost immediately he hears an explosion of voices. The restaurant […]...
17. Mysterious picture After a wonderful night of love making, the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the distance. Naturally, the guy began to worry. “Is that your husband?” he inquired nervously. “No, silly,” she replied, snuggling up to him. “Your boyfriend then?” […]...
18. A delicacy An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, “What is that you just served?” The waiter replied, ” […]...
19. Installing Windows and Doors Vern: I really think we’ve Bitten off more than we can chew. I like Do-it-yourself projects, but Installing a new window and a new door isn’t as easy as it looks. Genevive: What we don’t know, we’ll Learn as we go. Okay, we’ve removed the old window. This new Double-paned one is going to be […]...
20. Some things never change I guess some things will never change. I hired a temp while my secretary was on maternity leave. Trying to arrive at an agreeable wage, I asked what she expected to earn. She said, “Well… the minimum I could work for is four hundred a week.” I told her I’d give her that much with […]...
21. Abraham Lincoln Lincoln was one of the most famous presidents of the USA. He was born in the family of a poor farmer in 1809 in Kentucky, but soon his family left for the wild forestland of Indiana. He was taught reading, writing and simple arithmetic, as his family could not afford better education. When he was […]...
22. Значение идиомы pin one’s faith on [pin one’s faith on] {v. phr.} To depend upon; trust. We pinnedour faith on our home basketball team to win the state finals, andthey did!...
23. A Restaurant Drive-Thru I had a little time between appointments and stopped at a fast food restaurant to get some lunch. The idea was To save time by using the drive-thru, but it didn’t work out that way. Order-taker: Welcome to McDenny’s. May I take your order? Daniel: Yes. I’d like a Cheeseburger, an order of French fries, […]...
24. Значение идиомы act of faith [act of faith] {n. phr.} An act or a deed that shows unquestioning belief in someone or something. It was a real act of faith on Mary’s part to entrust her jewelry to her younger sister’s care....
25. Значение идиомы take on faith [take on faith] {v. phr.} To lend credence to something due toone’s confidence in the source, rather than based on evidence. Oneshould never take on faith what one hears about Washington politics....
26. Humor about Ireland 2 Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. “Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I’m afraid he’s goin’ to die.” “Shure, an’ why would he be dyin’?” asked the other. “Ah, he’s gotten so thin. You’re thin enough, and I’m thin – but by my soul, Micheal Hogan is […]...
27. Значение идиомы keep the faith [keep the faith] {v. phr.} To not abandon hope; stay committed tothe cause of democracy and racial equality. “Keep the faith, Baby,”my neighbor said as he raised his fingers to show the “V” for victorysign....
28. Ordering fast food The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. One night, a few co-workers at the computer data centre where I work stayed late and we all started to get hungry. We decided to order in food by phone, but our […]...
29. The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month. He took her to fancy restaurants and expensive resorts. Finally, he proposed, “Bernie, if you will marry me, I have enough money to provide you with anything your little heart desires.” “Sorry John.” she replied. “I’m not ready to settle down yet. And besides, […]...
30. Значение идиомы order [order] See: APPLE-PIE-ORDER, CALL TO ORDER, IN ORDER, IN ORDER TO, IN SHORT ORDER, JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED, MADE TO ORDER, OUT OFORDER, PUT ONE’S HOUSE IN ORDER or SET ONE’S HOUSE IN ORDER, SHORTORDER COOK, TO ORDER, WALKING PAPERS or WALKING ORDERS....
31. Значение идиомы in memory of [in memory of] {prep.} As something that makes people remember ; as a reminder of; as a memorial to. The buildingwas named Ford Hall in memory of a man named James Ford. Manyspecial ceremonies are in memory of famous men....
32. Making Verbal Mistakes Omar: Ha ha. Faith: What’s so funny? Omar: I’m editing Paul’s speech so that it can be posted on our website, but I didn’t realize how many Verbal mistakes he made. Faith: Were there a lot? Omar: Yeah, he Mispronounced the last name of the manager in charge of new products, for one. He also […]...
33. Перевод слова fast Fast – быстрый, скорый, быстро; прочный, крепкий Перевод слова Hard and fast rule – жесткое правило fast roof – устойчивая кровля fast train – скорый поезд I’m a Fast learner. Я быстро учусь. He ran as Fast as he could. Он бежал так быстро, как только мог. They held Fast to their beliefs. Они твердо […]...
34. A policeman was patrolling near midnight A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He […]...
35. Don’t Forget! An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor’s, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor […]...
36. Getting a new deputy The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer – who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. “Okay,” the sheriff drawled, “Gomer, what is 1 and 1?” “11” he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but he’s right.” […]...
37. Значение идиомы out of order [out of order] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. In the wrong order; notcoming after one another in the right way. Peter wrote the words ofthe sentence out of order. Don’t get out of order, children. Stayin your places in line. Contrast: IN ORDER. 2. In poor condition; notworking properly. Our television set is out of […]...
38. Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?” She replied, “no sir!” So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, “Did you like that?” “Oh, indeed I did, […]...
39. Computer Ease! The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000: 1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. 2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 4. Press any key except… no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! 5. Press […]...
40. Значение идиомы fast and furious [fast and furious] {adj.} or {adv. phr.} Very fast; with much speedand energy. He was mowing the grass at a fast and furious rate. When I last saw her she was driving fast and furious down thestreet. Compare: GREAT GUNS....