A Practical Joke

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1. Playing a Practical JokePatricia: What are you doing? Luis: I’m setting up a Practical joke for Bobby. I Can’t wait to see the look on his face when he walks outside and finds his bike In pieces. It’ll be the best Prank ever! Patricia: You’re not really going to take apart his bike, are you? Luis: I’ll Let ... Читать далее...
2. Practical JokeA couple was planning on getting married. Seeing how they didn’t have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided tojust go back to their new apartment after the wedding. The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other a ordinary guy, and the ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова practicalPractical — практический, практичный, реальный Перевод слова By practical consideration — опытным путем practical experience — практический опыт good, practical housewife — хорошая, расчетливая хозяйка practical scheme — реальный план The course places emphasis on Practical work. Учебный курс, уделяет особое внимание практическим занятиям. The debate did not turn on any Practical proposition. Дебаты не ... Читать далее...
4. A circumcisionLittle Joey and Little Danny, both aged 5, are walking home from school. Danny says «I won’t be going to school tomorrow.» «Why not?» asks Joey. «I have to go to the hospital,» says Danny woefully. «That’s awful,» says Joey. «Why do you have to go there? Are you sick?» Danny shakes his head and ... Читать далее...
5. Eating Contaminated FoodRachel: This tastes Funny. Sergey: It’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with it. Rachel: It tastes like it’s Tainted or something. Don’t you Detect a funny Metallic taste? Sergey: No, it’s perfectly fine. Just eat it. Rachel: I swear there’s something Off about this food. I’m not eating Adulterated food. There’s probably Poison in here and ... Читать далее...
6. And yet another college dorm jokeI have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a ... Читать далее...
7. Offending SomeoneI was telling my friend, Gina, a joke. I began it by saying, “An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Frenchman walk into this bar, and…” Suddenly, Gina Grabbed my arm and shook her head. I turned around and our coworker, Colin, was standing right behind me. Eileen: Oh, hi Colin. I didn’t see you standing ... Читать далее...
8. Negotiating PriceJustin: Hello. Rachel: Hi, Justin. It’s Rachel from McQ Corp. Justin: Oh hi, Rachel. Did you get our Bid for the job? Rachel: Yes, we did. We like your proposal, but we still need To come to terms on the price. Justin: We’ve already given you our Rock-bottom price because we want to get this ... Читать далее...
9. Welcoming a HouseguestYousef: Why are you Rearranging the furniture? Rachel: My Aunt Susan called and she’s coming for a visit. It’ll be so nice to see her. It’s been a while since we’ve had a Houseguest. Yousef: Your crazy Aunt Susan? The one who Talks to herself all the time and makes funny noises? Rachel: Don’t be ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы sick and tired[sick and tired] {adj.} 1. Feeling strong dislike for somethingrepeated or continued too long; exasperated; annoyed. Jane was sickand tired of always having to wait for Bill, so when he didn’t arriveon time she left without him. John is sick and tired of having hisstudies interrupted. I’ve been studying all day, and I’m sick andtired ... Читать далее...
11. Cooking a MealEmeril: Can you hand me that Pan? Rachel: This Pot? Emeril: No, that pan over there. I need To pan-fry these vegetables. Rachel: Wouldn’t be healthier if we Steamed the vegetables or Grilled them? Emeril: Maybe, but for this meal, I’m frying them in this pan. Rachel: Okay, do you want me To heat this ... Читать далее...
12. Good HygieneJuanita: Hey, where have you been? I was going to invite you to lunch, but you weren’t at your desk. Bill: I was at a Training. Juanita: What was it on? Bill: Office Hygiene. Juanita: Hygiene? You’re kidding. Your office is pretty Messy but I wouldn’t say you needed hygiene training. Bill: Very funny. Each ... Читать далее...
13. ‘Butt’ is an actual unit of measurementThe imperial system is a funny thing. Like, really funny. So funny that there is actually a unit of measurement for wine (or whiskey) casks called a «butt.» That means if you fill the barrel up, you technically have a buttload of wine-though you’d probably just call it a full butt. Are you laughing yet? ... Читать далее...
14. Gas-tank jokeThis practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got. So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and ... Читать далее...
15. The definition of a phallic symbolThis girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks «Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says «you’re kidding..» Girl says «no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???» Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says «You see? This is a failic symbol!» Girl says «Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller»...
16. The first Jewish woman President is electedThe first Jewish woman President is elected. She calls her Mother: «Mama, I’ve won the elections, you’ve got to come to the swearing-in ceremony.» «I don’t know, what would I wear?» «Don’t worry, I’ll send you a dressmaker» «But I only eat kosher food» «Mama, I am going to be the president, I can get ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод идиомы crack a joke, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: crack a joke Перевод: рассказать шутку Пример: The man was a lot of fun at the party because he was always cracking jokes. Этот мужчина был очень забавен на вечере, потому что он все время рассказывал шутки....
18. Some practical jokesSmaller or larger tuxedo A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom’s tuxedo. After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either ... Читать далее...
19. Yet another dorm jokeHere’s one that my roommate and myself did to a residence buddy. One morning (early) we taped together a bunch of sheets of newspaper to cover the victims doorframe. Then taped this big sheet over the doorframe which left a gap of about two or three inches between the sheet and the door. Then we ... Читать далее...
20. Enjoying NatureCharles: This is what I call The great outdoors. Look at that Stunning view! Rachel: This is truly Jaw-dropping. We’re in the middle of one of the most Pristine areas of the world where Wildlife lives in its Natural habitat. Charles: It’s almost like living in the middle of the Wilderness, isn’t it? I bet ... Читать далее...
21. Jokes about Ireland 2Joey-Jim was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. «What’s wrong, Seamus?» Joey-Jim asked. «Well didn’t ya know, Joey-Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?» said Seamus. «Ah, praise the Almighty!» he replied with relief. «I thought I’d ... Читать далее...
22. The Comedy ClubOn Friday night, I went with a group of friends from work to a comedy club. I don’t really like Sketch comedy, but I do like Stand-up, and the comedian who was going to perform there was one of my favorites. There were six of us and we were a pretty Rowdy group. We stood ... Читать далее...
23. The complaint letter from JudiThe complaint letter from Judi: We blonds at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this ... Читать далее...
24. Liberal and Conservative NewsBill: Why are you reading that Rag? Rachel: I enjoy reading it. I like its News coverage and its Incisive commentaries. Bill: That’s nothing but a Liberal propaganda rag. You can’t believe a thing they Print in there. Rachel: That’s not true. The news stories are Objective and Unbiased. This magazine isn’t like the newspapers ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод идиомы sick and tired of someone or something, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: sick and tired of someone or something Перевод: не любить что-либо или кого-либо; сильно устать от кого-либо или чего-либо Пример: I am sick and tired of my friend’s constant complaining. Мне жутко надоело постоянное нытье моего друга....
26. Перевод слова sickSick — больной, болезненный Перевод слова Sick condition — болезненное состояние sick years — годы болезни to heal the sick — лечить больных He is off Sick today. Его сегодня нет, он болеет. He was Sick in the car. В машине его стошнило. You’re Sick! Вы ненормальный!...
27. Значение идиомы funny bone[funny bone] {n.} 1. The place at the back of the elbow that hurtslike electricity when accidentally hit. He hit his funny bone onthe arm of the chair. 2. or {informal} [crazy bone] Sense of humor;understanding jokes. Her way of telling the story tickled his funnybone....
28. Proper Behavior at a Formal EventRodney: Ha-ha! Did you hear what I said? Funny, right? Samantha: Behave yourself! This is a serious and Solemn occasion, not a time for Levity. Rodney: Loosen up. We have To endure two hours of this ceremony. Samantha: It’s Indecent the way you’re behaving. Don’t you have any sense of Decorum? Rodney: Lighten up. You’re ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы mama’s boy[mama’s boy] {n. phr.}, {informal} A boy who depends too much onhis mother; a sissy. The other boys called Tommy a mama’s boybecause he wouldn’t come out to play unless his mother stayed nearhim....
30. Перевод идиомы inside joke, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: inside joke Перевод: шутка, известная только ограниченному кругу лиц (внутри какой-либо компании, среди друзей, и т. п.) Пример: That must be an inside joke, because it’s not funny at all. Это, должно быть, какая-то местная шутка, потому что мне совсем не смешно....
31. The Cesium song 08‘Lectropositive Mama (tune, Lady Madonna) ‘Letropositive mama, Cesium on your meat, Wonder how you manage, To stay on your feet. How d’ya stand the smokin’? How d’ya ‘bide the flame? Do you think that life’s just A burnin’ game. Monday night your hunger’s a blue fire, Tuesday morn’ you’re cookin’ ‘fore the sun. Wednesday raivn, ... Читать далее...
32. Types of Story EndingsHamid: I just finished a really good book. I thought the characters were Headed toward a Tragic ending, but there was a Twist near the end, and everything turned out well. It was so Satisfying! Rachel: It sounds Sappy to me. Hamid: It wasn’t sappy at all. It was just a happy ending. I know ... Читать далее...
33. College bar jokeWhen I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the ... Читать далее...
34. Фразовый глагол butt in on — перевод и значение, пример использованияФразовый глагол: butt in on Фразовый глагол: butt in on разг. Перевод: невежливо вмешиваться, прерывать Пример: It’s rude to butt in on a conversation like that! Невоспитанно вмешиваться в разговор подобным образом!...
35. President Carter’s jokeIn an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke. He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story ... Читать далее...
36. Organizing Your OfficeI have a very Disorganized office. My co-workers have been making jokes about my office for a long time, and my boss finally Cracked down on me. He told me: “Get the office organized by Friday – no excuses!” What choice did I have? I’ve always been a Pack rat. I hate to throw anything ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод идиомы a mummy’s boy / a mama’s boy / a mother’s boy, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: a mummy’s boy / a mama’s boy / a mother’s boy Идиома: a mummy’s boy / a mama’s boy / a mother’s boy Перевод: маменькин сынок Пример: Andrew’s a bit of a mummy’s boy. He finished with his girlfriend because his mother disapproved. В Эндрю есть повадки маменькина сынка. Он расстался со своей девушкой ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод слова funnyFunny — забавный, смешной, странный Перевод слова Funny story — анекдот, смешная история extremely funny — чрезвычайно смешной, уморительный funny face — забавный вид That’s one Funny boy. Он очень забавный. What’s that Funny smell? Что за странный запах? I see this as diabolically Funny. По-моему, это ужасно смешно....
39. Gone fishingHenry Abel’s son, David, burst into the house, crying like everything. His Mama asked him what the problem was. «Pop and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away.» «Now come on, David,» his mother said, «a big boy ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы fed up[fed up] also [fed to the gills] or [fed tothe teeth] {adj. phr.} Having had too much of something; at the end ofyour patience; disgusted; bored; tired. People get fed up withanyone who brags all the time. I’ve had enough of his complaints. I’m fed up. He was fed to the teeth with television and ... Читать далее...