A little delusion

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1. Перевод слова bucket Bucket – ведро Перевод слова Empty bucket – пустое ведро full bucket – полное ведро drop in the bucket – капля в море He sank the Bucket into the well. Он опустил ведро в колодец. The Greek, that great well whence we Bucket up our terms. Греческий язык, этот великий источник, из которого мы черпаем […]...
2. Chinese Fire Drill One joke that we did in residence was the Chinese Fire Drill, I don’t quite know why it is called that. Anyway.. The victim is on the pot in the dorm washroom. Everyone grabs a bucket (we used the waste baskets from our rooms) and fills the buckets with water. Take a paper bag and […]...
3. Перевод слова awkward Awkward – неуклюжий, неловкий Перевод слова Awkward gait – неуклюжая походка awkward door – неудобная дверь awkward question – щекотливый вопрос awkward time – неудобное время Monday is Awkward for me. Мне неудобен понедельник. What an Awkward position I’m now placed in! В каком же глупом положении я сейчас оказался! She was afraid he was […]...
4. Very dangerous mix This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water. Her professor observed what she was about to do, out of the corner of his eye and […]...
5. Перевод слова relief Relief – облегчение, утешение; рельеф Перевод слова A sigh of relief – вздох облегчения the medicine gave some relief – лекарство принесло некоторое облегчение done in relief – сделано рельефно, выпукло It was a Relief to get home. Было большим облегчением оказаться дома. To my Relief they got there safely. Слава богу, что они добрались […]...
6. Birth control Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says “We’re Catholic so we can’t use it.” The next woman says “I am too but we use the rhythm method.” The third woman says “We use the bucket and saucer method.” “What the heck is […]...
7. Значение идиомы fish out of water [fish out of water] {n. phr.} A person who is out of his properplace in life; someone who does not fit in. Because Ed could notswim, he felt like a fish out of water at the beach. She was theonly girl at the party not in a formal dress and she felt like a fishout […]...
8. Перевод слова nearby Nearby – ближний, поблизости, неподалеку Перевод слова Nearby farmhouse – соседняя ферма nearby galaxies – ближайшие галактики nearby trail – близкий след Do you live Nearby? Вы живете поблизости? There’s good sport to be had at a Nearby lake. На близлежащем озере можно хорошо порыбачить. Jews were expelled from Vienna, many to settle in the […]...
9. Перевод слова gift Gift – подарок, дар Перевод слова At this price it’s a gift! – за такую цену это просто подарок generous gift – щедрый подарок graduation gift – подарок к окончанию учебного заведения The family made a Gift of his paintings to the museum. Семья отдала его картины в дар музею. She has the rare Gift […]...
10. Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all. Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. “Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! […]...
11. Life Science Final Exam The not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: “Give four advantages of breast milk.” What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best: 1. No need to boil. 2. Cats can’t […]...
12. Значение идиомы gift of gab [gift of gab] or [gift of the gab] {n. phr.}, {informal} Skill intalking; ability to make interesting talk that makes people believeyou. Many men get elected because of their gift of gab. Mr. Taylor’s gift of gab helped him get a good job....
13. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth […]...
14. Stupid people fearing WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind […]...
15. This man was having problems getting it up to have sex This man was having problems getting it up to have sex with his wife, so he went to the doctor for advice. The doctor told him the next time he wanted to have sex, to stick his finger in his wife’s pussy, and then rub it under his nose, and the smell would cause his […]...
16. MY TWO DELICATE OPERATIONS Humor story by Larry Graves Website: http://www. gravetimes. com MY TWO “DELICATE” OPERATIONS A few years ago, I had two operations in the space of a couple of Months. These were not major operations. Although for most men, I Believe they would prefer triple heart bypass surgery instead… No man Alive has ever looked forward […]...
17. Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami. They were discussing the fact that if they go for a swim, someone might steal their cigarettes, but if they take the cigarettes with them, they will get soaked. Then they notice a gorgeous girl walking out of the ocean. She reaches into the top of […]...
18. Golfing A foursome is waiting at the men’s tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up […]...
19. Значение идиомы awkward age [awkward age] {n.} Adolescence; awkwardness during adolescence. Sue used to be an “ugly duckling” when she was at the awkward age, but today she is a glamorous fashion model....
20. Перевод слова sigh Sigh – вздох, вздыхать Перевод слова To sigh deeply – вздохнуть глубоко to sigh with relief – облегченно вздохнуть deep sigh – глубокий вздох She Sighed sadly. Она грустно вздохнула. What are you Sighing about? О чем ты так вздыхаешь? Any woman Sighs for a man. Каждая женщина сохнет по какому-нибудь мужчине....
21. Finding the Perfect Gift Fae: Help! I still need to buy a Gift for my mother and I can’t seem to think of the perfect Present, something that’ll really Knock her socks off. Pablo: Why don’t you just get her a Gift certificate or a Gift card? That way, she can Pick out her own gift. Fae: Oh, she […]...
22. Значение идиомы kick the bucket [kick the bucket] {v. phr.}, {slang} To die. Old Mr. Joneskicked the bucket just two days before his ninety-fourth birthday. Compare: KICK OFF....
23. Finding the Perfect Gift Fae: Help! I still need to buy a Gift for my mother and I can’t seem to think of the perfect Present, something that’ll really Knock her socks off. Pablo: Why don’t you just get her a Gift certificate or a Gift card? That way, she can Pick out her own gift. Fae: Oh, she […]...
24. A buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamond A buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamond. “It happens to be the third most famous diamond in the whole world,” she boasted. “The first is the Hope Diamond, then comes the Kohinoor, and then comes this one, which is called Lipshitz.” “What a diamond!” “How lucky you are!” “Wait, wait, nothing […]...
25. You could Feed them a lot Faster There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would […]...
26. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
27. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
28. There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked “Could I have a fucket please?” The assistant asked”Pardon sir?”. “Can I have a fucket please?” Replied the man. […]...
29. Значение идиомы drop in the bucket [drop in the bucket] {n. phr.} A relatively small amount; a small part of the whole. Our university needs several million dollars for its building renovation project; $50,000 is a mere drop in the bucket....
30. Small World Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn’t bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man […]...
31. One day the different parts of the body One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge. The brain said “I do all the thinking so I’m the most important and I should be in charge.” The eyes said “I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so […]...
32. Значение идиомы weather eye [weather eye] {n.} 1. Eyes that can tell what the weather will be. Grandfather’s weather eye always tells him when it will rain. 2.Eyes ready or quick to see; careful watch. – Usually used in phraseslike “keep a weather eye on”, “open”, or “out for”. Mrs. Brown kepta weather eye on the children so they […]...
33. Перевод слова weather Weather – погода Перевод слова Flight weather briefing – предполетный инструктаж по метеообстановке brutal weather – отвратительная погода weather bureau – бюро погоды What lousy Weather! Что за мерзкая погода! I like cold Weather. Мне нравится холодная погода. I detest hot Weather. Я терпеть не могу жару....
34. My Summer Holidays After my hard and busy school year, my summer holidays began. I felt happy and began to plan a lot of wonderful things to do during my summer vacation. I was dreaming about Southern countries I always wanted to visit. Forexample I dreamed to visit Greek islands or beaches in Singapore. But I hadto go […]...
35. Hoffman and Puscas are bombed, watching the St. Patrick’s Hoffman and Puscas are bombed, watching the St. Patrick’s Day Parade, when one of them drops his lit cigarette into a damp mattress that’s been left out on the sidewalk. The mattress starts to smoulder just as the blue-hair brigade, the Ladies’ Auxiliary, is passing by. Hoffman takes a whiff, turns to Puscas, and says, […]...
36. German Shepard on Golf Course A golf pro was helping this attractive young woman with her swing when his zipper got caught in the rhinestones on the back of her skirt. Needless to say this was embarrassing to both of them since their relationship had been purely platonic. They decided to walk together in this lock-step back to the clubhouse […]...
37. Who Pays? David: Hey, Sally. Can I run something by you? Sally: Sure, what’s up? David: Well, A friend of a friend Wanted some help with her Taxes and we agreed that we would talk about it Over dinner. At the end of the night, when the Check came, she expected me to pay! It was really […]...
38. Пословица / поговорка don’t judge a book by its cover / never judge a book by its cover – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: don’t judge a book by its cover / never judge a book by its cover Перевод: не суди о книге по обложке Эквивалент в русском языке: встречают по одежке, провожают по уму Пример: That professor may seem slow and awkward, but don’t judge a book by its cover. He is one of […]...
39. Значение идиомы look a gift horse in the mouth [look a gift horse in the mouth] To complain if a gift is notperfect. – A proverb. Usually used with a negative. John gave Joe abaseball but Joe complained that the ball was old. His father told himnot to look a gift horse in the mouth....
40. Jokes About The Irishmen “Hey,” said a new arrival in the pub, “I’ve got some great Irish jokes.” “Before you start,” said the big bloke in the corner, “, I’m Irish.” “Don’t worry,” said the newcomer, “I’ll tell them slowly.” Two Irishmen were sitting in a four engined plane flying back from a shopping trip to Paris when the […]...