German Shepard on Golf Course

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1. A game of golf A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his mate what happened. “Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough,” replied his friend. “Then I met a chick who was looking for her ball too. […]...
2. Definite laws of golf LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime. LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed […]...
3. Перевод слова golf Golf – гольф Перевод слова Round of golf – партия гольфа golf match – матч по гольфу devotion to golf – увлечение гольфом He is off playing Golf. Он уехал играть в гольф. He’s a real Golf fiend. Он по настоящему страстный любитель гольфа. Geoff went off to play Golf. Джефф пошел играть в гольф. […]...
4. A German shepherd went to a Western Union office A German shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out a blank form and wrote, “Woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..woof.. woof..woof…woof.” The clerk examined the paper and told the dog, “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘woof’ for the same price.” The dog replied “What, and ruin the punchline?!”...
5. Accountant and farmer A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Stopping to rest, he tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock”. The shepherd thinks it over. It’s a big […]...
6. Перевод слова German German – немецкий, немец, немецкий язык Перевод слова New word of German mintage – новое слово немецкого происхождения an obscure German poet – малоизвестный немецкий поэт words borrowed from the German – слова, заимствованные из немецкого the Germans – немцы He improved his German. Он продвинулся в изучении немецкого языка. He is originally German. Он […]...
7. Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. “But,” said the duffer, “since you’re obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two’gotchas’.” The golf pro didn’t know what a ‘gotcha’ was, but he went along with […]...
8. Buying some golf balls A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro askes her what she wants. “I can’t find any green golf balls,” the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are […]...
9. German Jokes Q: How does a German eat mussels A: *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* … AUFMACHEN!!! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Q: What’s […]...
10. Incredible golf ball A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, “Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!” The golfer, annoyed, says, “What is it?” “It’s a special golf ball,” says the salesman. “You can never lose […]...
11. Deserted island golf A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” […]...
12. A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: “They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!” The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly […]...
13. A husband and wife were out playing golf A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in […]...
14. The golf course A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole, and you’re a hole behind me, so you […]...
15. Religious battle golf The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. “Your holiness,” said one of the Cardinals, “Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match.” The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held […]...
16. Small World Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn’t bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man […]...
17. Golf A golf course Golf courses have different sizes and shapes. Most of them have 18 holes that are between a hundred and 500 metres long. If you have finished playing all 18 holes you have played a round of golf. Each hole has a starting place, called a tee. This is a small area from […]...
18. Перевод слова bucket Bucket – ведро Перевод слова Empty bucket – пустое ведро full bucket – полное ведро drop in the bucket – капля в море He sank the Bucket into the well. Он опустил ведро в колодец. The Greek, that great well whence we Bucket up our terms. Греческий язык, этот великий источник, из которого мы черпаем […]...
19. German Corporate Culture – Немецкая корпоративная культура German Corporate Culture differs from Anglo-American Corporate Culture significantly. The main difference is that the controlling and managing functions are divided between two branches of authorities. So the management system consists of 2 parts: the Supervision Council and the Governance Cabinet. In German Corporate Culture control share holding is concentrated in the hands of wealthy […]...
20. Значение идиомы hard-nosed [hard-nosed] {adj.}, {slang} Tough or rugged; very strict; not weakor soft; stubborn, especially in a fight or contest. Joe’s fatherwas a hard-nosed army officer who had seen service in two wars. Pete is a good boy; he plays hard-nosed football. Compare:HARD-BOILED....
21. A little delusion The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore […]...
22. Перевод слова lock Lock – замок, запирать, блокировать Перевод слова To lock the door – запереть дверь double lock – двойной замок safety lock – предохранитель, замок с секретом Did you Lock the car? Ты закрыл машину? The Lock did not give. Замок не поддавался. The key fits the Lock. Ключ точно подходит к замку....
23. A man was playing a game of golf A man was playing a game of golf, and on hole 16, he hit the ball right into a field of buttercups. As honest a golfer as he normally was, he picked up the ball and laid it next to the flowerbed to avoid destroying the beautiful buttercups. A fairy comes down and says “thank […]...
24. Golf in the Bedroom Golf in the Bedroom Rules of Play Each player shall provide his own equipment – normally one club and two balls. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole. […]...
25. One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf. But he couldn’t, since it was Sunday. But he figured, well, it’s ok if i just play a little bit. So he changed clothes and went out into the green. Up in heaven an angel saw him and reported it to Jesus. However, Jesus didn’t do […]...
26. A difficult golf game Robert goes golfing every Saturday. One Saturday, he comes home three hours late. His wife asks him, “What took you so long?” The guy says, “That was the worst game of golf I’ve ever had. We got up to the first tee, and Charlie hit a hole-in-one and immediately dropped dead of a heart attack.” […]...
27. Перевод слова needle Needle – игла; подстрекать Перевод слова Aberration of the needle – отклонение магнитной стрелки to look for a needle in a haystack – искать иголку в стоге сена needle bath – игольчатый душ he needled the boy into a fight – он подбил мальчишку на драку I’ve run my finger through with the Needle. Я […]...
28. Very dangerous mix This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water. Her professor observed what she was about to do, out of the corner of his eye and […]...
29. A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front. He sees that this is a woman and, as he catches up to her on a par 3, that, […]...
30. Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. And for the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play. Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now? Bob: Darts? Bill: Nah. Bob: Shoot some pool? Bill: Nah. Bob: Cards? Bill: Nah. Hey, I’ve got an […]...
31. A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to the doctor. He says, “How bad is it doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin in every way.” […]...
32. Перевод слова corner Corner – угол Перевод слова In the corner of the room – в углу комнаты at the corner of the street – на углу улицы to turn the corner – завернуть за угол to cut off a corner – срезать угол, пойти напрямик We turned round the Corner. Мы свернули за угол. Once the dog […]...
33. Значение идиомы walk over [walk over] or [walk all over] or [step all over] {v. phr.}{informal} To make do whatever you wish; make selfish useof; treat like a slave; impose upon. Jill is so friendly andhelpful that people walk all over her. We wanted the man’sbusiness, so we let him step all over us. Compare: TAKE ADVANTAGE OF....
34. Birth control Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says “We’re Catholic so we can’t use it.” The next woman says “I am too but we use the rhythm method.” The third woman says “We use the bucket and saucer method.” “What the heck is […]...
35. HOW TO COOK A TURKEY! HOW TO COOK A TURKEY! (The Thanksgiving Special) Step 1:Go buy a turkey Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey (scotch) of JD Step 3: Put turkey in the oven Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink Step […]...
36. Golf lessons A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, “No no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!” “Well, what should I do?” asks […]...
37. Перевод идиомы lock, stock and barrel, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: lock, stock and barrel Перевод: до последнего; все; целиком, полностью Пример: The small corner store went out of business and sold everything lock, stock, and barrel. Небольшой магазинчик на углу вышел из бизнеса и продал все полностью....
38. Перевод идиомы hard-nosed, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: hard-nosed Перевод: практичный, решительный, настроенный Пример: The company had a hard-nosed attitude while bargaining with the union. Компания была настроена очень решительно во время переговоров с союзом....
39. An irresolvable problem A woman went to a podiatrist complaining that her feet always hurt. He immediately noticed that she was extremely bowlegged. “Have you always been that way?” asked the podiatrist. “No,” she said, not until recently. “I’ve been fucking a lot doggie style.” “Well,” said the podiatrist, “you are going to have to stop.” “I can’t,” […]...
40. Перевод слова pair Pair – пара, парные предметы, чета Перевод слова A pair of candlesticks – пара подсвечников pair of gloves – пара перчаток pair of oars – лодка с двумя гребцами Just clear out, the Pair of you! А ну, убирайтесь, вы оба! The company is run by a Pair of brothers. Компанией управляют два брата. She […]...