A guy was trying to console a friend

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1. Having a Best FriendLucy: I’m so excited! My friend, Marlene, is coming to town for a visit. Buddy: Have I met Marlene? Lucy: No, I don’t think so. We Grew up together and we were always Joined at the hip. Buddy: When I was little, I had a friend like that. We were Blood brothers. Lucy: Yeah, Marlene ... Читать далее...
2. Trust thy friendThe sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge. «Was it my friend Sam», he demanded. «No!» his weeping wife replied. «Was it my friend Jim then?» he asked. «NO!!!» she said ... Читать далее...
3. Mom and Dad were trying to console SusieMom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog had recently died. «You know, it’s not your fault that the dog died. He’s probably up in heaven right now, having a grand old time with God.» Susie, still crying, said «What would God want with a dead dog?»...
4. Значение идиомы a friend in need is a friend indeed[a friend in need is a friend indeed] A genuine friend on whom one can always depend. — A proverb; often shortened to «a friend in need…» When John’s house burned down, his neighbor Jim helped him and his family with shelter, food and clothing. John said, «Jim, a friend in need is a friend ... Читать далее...
5. Значение идиомы bosom friend[bosom friend] {n. phr.} A very close friend; an old buddy with whom one has a confidential relationship. Sue and Jane have been bosom friends since their college days....
6. Пословица / поговорка a friend in need is a friend indeed — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: a friend in need is a friend indeed Перевод: друзья познаются в беде Пример: He was my best friend since childhood so naturally I helped him when he got into trouble. We both know that a friend in need is a friend indeed. Он был моим лучшим другом с детства, поэтому естественно, ... Читать далее...
7. A man was complaining to a friendA man was complaining to a friend. «I had it all. Money, a beautiful house, a BIG car, the love of a beautiful woman, then, POW! it was all gone!» «What happened?» asked the friend. «My wife found out.»...
8. I think I try a nicer approachEvery night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let ... Читать далее...
9. Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites herStacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey excuses herself to fetch her Mom and introduce her new friend. As her friend is standing in the living room next to the fireplace, she picks up the attractive vase on the mantle. When Stacey returns with her mother, ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы girl friend[girl friend] {n.}, {informal} 1. A female friend or companion. Jane is spending the night at her girlfriend’s house. 2. A boy’ssteady girl; the girl or woman partner in a love affair; girl;sweetheart. John is taking his girl friend to the dance. Contrast:BOYFRIEND....
11. Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they wereThree guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and ... Читать далее...
12. Need fishing licensesA couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bush’s jumped the Game Warden!! Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden. After about a half mile the fella ... Читать далее...
13. Once some boys got together to play pokerOnce some boys got together to play poker one night, after about 4 hours of playing, Tim had severe chest pains and suddenly slumped over, one of the gamblers who happened to be a doctor, examined him, and to everybodies shock, poor Tim had died of a heart attack. All his friends didn’t know how ... Читать далее...
14. A man walks into a friend and seesA man walks into a friend and sees that his friend’s car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, «What’s happened to your car?» «Well,» the friend responses, «I ran into a lawyer». «OK,» says the man, «that explains the blood… But what about the leaves, ... Читать далее...
15. Man v. catA man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He ... Читать далее...
16. One day Pete was complaining to his friendOne day Pete was complaining to his friend «my elbow hurts. I better see a doctor». His friend said «Don’t do that. There’s a computer in the drug store that can diagnose anything. It’s quicker and cheaper than visiting a doctor. Simply put a urine sample in the machine and it will diagnose your problem ... Читать далее...
17. What is a breathanalyzer?«Shhaaayyy, buddy, what’s a ‘Breathalyzer’?» asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool. «Well, I’d have to say it’s a bag that tells you when you’ve drunk way too much,» answered the equally wasted gent. «Ah hell, whaddya know? I’ve been married to one of those for years and years now!»...
18. This fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when heThis fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. «What the hell is your problem?» the lady asked. «I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy,» the man moaned. The lady reached ... Читать далее...
19. Wife-taming methodTwo married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, «You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. ... Читать далее...
20. Друг познается в беде/ A Friend In Need Is A Friend IndeedНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed Друг познается в беде Friends play a very important role in our lives. But not every person around us can be called a good friend. A friend in need is a friend indeed — we all know this saying and ... Читать далее...
21. A blond at a party was telling her friendA blond at a party was telling her friend that she was off men for life. «They lie, they cheat and they’re just no good. From now on when I want sex, I’m going to use my vibrator» «So, what when the batteries run out?» asked her friend «I’ll just fake an orgasm like always.»...
22. Marriage quotes 11My other wife is beautiful. My wife doesn’t care what I do away from home, as long as I don’t enjoy it. My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! My wife says if I go fishing one ... Читать далее...
23. A psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimedA psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimed, «I heard you died.» «But you see I’m alive,» smiled the friend. «Impossible,» said the psychiatrist. «The man who told me is much more reliable than you.»...
24. Bad Bernie was in prison for seven yearsBad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car. The only thing he said was, «F. F.» His wife turned to him and answered, «E. F.» Out on the highway, he ... Читать далее...
25. An affair with the horsePaddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: «I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.» His second friend says: «I think my wife is having an affair with ... Читать далее...
26. My FriendI have a very good friend. His (her) name is… Friends are very important in our life. I think one cannot live without friends. The most important thing for being good friends, to my mind, is to be ready to help one another in any situation, nevertheless how difficult it is, to support one another ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы lady friend[lady friend] {n.} 1. A woman friend. His aunt stays with a ladyfriend in Florida during the winter. 2. A woman who is the lover of aman. — Used by people trying to appear more polite, but not often usedby careful speakers. The lawyer took his lady friend to dinner. Syn.: GIRLFRIEND....
28. Two buddies get together and decide toTwo buddies get together and decide to go to a whorehouse, one of them tired of doing it with his wife all the time, the other not having it done for a long time. Anyways the married one goes up and comes down and says » My wife is much better». «Allright» goes the other ... Читать далее...
29. My Best Friend (2)Every person needs a friend. Friends are very important in our life. My best friend’s name is Dasha. She is in my class. We have a lot in common. She likes sport and dancing. She if fond of music and films. We often spend time together: we walk after school, talk about different things, watch ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова friendFriend — друг, подруга Перевод слова Close friend — близкий друг to have a cosy chat with a friend — поговорить с другом по душам so-called friend — так называемый друг My Friend and I split up. Мой друг и я расстались. I’d like you to meet my Friend. Я бы хотел чтобы ты познакомился ... Читать далее...
31. A serious conditionA well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. «We need a fourth for poker,» said ... Читать далее...
32. A woman and her friend are visiting the zooA woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage, when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her yanks her over the fence and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishhes her ... Читать далее...
33. A Flaky FriendShawn: What’s the matter? You look like you’re about To blow your lid. Rick: Yeah, Let’s just say I’m not happy. Shawn: That’s Putting it lightly. What’s up? Rick: My friend Steve was supposed To come by Here after work to Give me a ride home. I Lent him my car so he could take ... Читать далее...
34. A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly beingA blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her «go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you learn all the state capitals or something?» The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she ... Читать далее...
35. Travel with a horseAn out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, «Pull, Nellie, pull!» Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, «Pull, Buster, pull!» Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer ... Читать далее...
36. Play doctorSteve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was becoming routine and boring. «Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don’t you try playing doctor for an hour?» «Sounds great,» Steve replied, «but how do you make it last for an hour?» «Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for ... Читать далее...
37. My Best FriendВ топике Мой лучший друг я расскажу о своей лучшей подруге Маше. Мы учимся в одном классе, поэтому проводим много времени вместе. Моя подруга умная, красивая и приветливая. Многие люди считают ее очень интересным человеком, а я всегда могу обратиться к ней, когда я в беде, и она никогда не откажет в помощи. Моя подруга ... Читать далее...
38. Edward walks out of a barEdward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. «Can I help you, fella?», asks the cop. «Yesssh, ssshombody stol my car!» Edward replies. The cop asks, «Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?». «It ... Читать далее...
39. A dubious remedyA man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, «When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.» That same day the man went to the store ... Читать далее...
40. Better than SexA solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson & music books. Rotated back ... Читать далее...