A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure

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1. A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched the man with an erect penis. The professor commented, “Oh, no, I wanted it the other way.” She replied, “What other […]...
2. A college professor’s going to bed with his wife A college professor’s going to bed with his wife. He’s not that tired, so he’s gonna stay awake and read while she goes to sleep. So he’s reading, and every once in a while he reaches over and tickles her on the fun spot… “Kitza kitza…” She says, “Will you stop that! Will you stop […]...
3. Перевод слова professor Professor – профессор, преподаватель Перевод слова Former University professor – бывший преподаватель университета professor of sociology – преподаватель социологии a promotion to the rank of professor – присвоение звания профессора The new Professor always pontificates. Новый профессор всегда занимался догматическими разглагольствованиями. He looked like a nutty Professor. Он выглядел как полоумный профессор. The Professor flunked […]...
4. Значение идиомы College Boards [College Boards] {n.} A set of examinations given to test a student’s readiness and ability for college. John got a high score on his College Boards. College Boards test both what a student has learned and his ability to learn....
5. The evils of marijuana A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of marijuana. Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors, “Used regularly,” he explained, “pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!” “Now wait a minute, professor,” interrupted a student. […]...
6. The dean of women at an exclusive girl’s college The dean of women at an exclusive girl’s college was lecturing her students on sexual morality. “In moments of temptation,” said the speaker to the class, “ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?” A sweet young thing in the back of the room rose to ask: “How […]...
7. Значение идиомы cow college [cow college] {n.}, {slang} 1. An agricultural college; a school where farming is studied. A new, bigger kind of apple is being grown at the cow college. 2. A new or rural college not thought to be as good as older or city colleges. John wanted to go to a big college in New York […]...
8. Перевод слова college College – колледж Перевод слова College diploma – диплом об окончании колледжа college graduate – выпускник колледжа the cloistered atmosphere of a small college – замкнутая атмосфера маленького колледжа He studied film in College. Он изучал кино в колледже. I started College last week. Я поступил в колледж на прошлой неделе. We met each other […]...
9. The College Food Chain THE DEAN Leaps tall buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a locomotive Is faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Gives policy to God THE DEPARTMENT HEAD Leaps short buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a switch engine Is just as fast as a speeding bullet Talks with […]...
10. Fun on first day of class This is for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you do any of these things on the first day of class or for that matter, on any day of class. 1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, “Quite right, old bean!” 2. Wear […]...
11. A couple, age 67, went to the doctors office A couple, age 67, went to the doctor’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?” The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.” And he then charged […]...
12. Biology Class In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (FRESHMAN) raised her hand and asked, “If I understand, you’re saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar in male semen?” “That’s correct”, responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand […]...
13. How does physics save lives? One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask “Why do we have to learn this stuff?” “To save lives.” the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” he persisted. “It […]...
14. Значение идиомы old college try [old college try] {n. phr.} An attempt to win a favor from anotherby mentioning the fact that one had gone to the same college oruniversity as the party from whom the favor is requested. Since heneeded a job, he decided to use the old college try when he contactedJerry, but it didn’t work. Compare: OLD […]...
15. Перевод слова movement Movement – движение, перемещение Перевод слова Covered movement – скрытое передвижение dissident movement – диссидентское движение life of movement – жизнь на колесах This was my initiation into the peace Movement. Так я вступил в движение борцов за мир. The student Movement resounded through the world. Студенческое движение прогремело на весь мир. The earth’s Movement […]...
16. College Dorm On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.” He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the […]...
17. Talking to the Professor [A knock on the door.] Jeff: Come in. Julie: Hi, Dr. McQuillan, I’m Julie Taylor. I’m in your 2 o’clock class on Thursdays. Jeff: Hi, Julie. Have a seat. What can I do for you? Julie: I wanted to come see you during your Office hours because I Missed class last week. I had a […]...
18. At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students human reproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: “Female humans are born with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?” One young woman’s answer: “Because they won’t […]...
19. Some explaining The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their two week vacation/honeymoon. The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said, “Well, hi Jimmy, how ya been lover? Long time no see.” A frosty silence prevailed until the […]...
20. Preparing a Paper Student: I wonder if I could ask you some questions about our paper, professor. Do you want us to Cite our Sources in the Footnotes? Professor: You should use Endnotes for longer explanations. Otherwise, just follow the Style sheet I passed out for Citations in your paper. Student: I see. And what about the Cover […]...
21. The Pope took a philosophy professor The Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidentally dropped an oar and watched it float away. The pontiff stepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the oar, grabbed it and walked back to the […]...
22. Перевод слова appreciation Appreciation – оценка, высокая оценка чего-либо Перевод слова Appreciation of friendship – признательность за дружбу he showed no appreciation of my advice – он не оценил мой совет letter of appreciation – благодарственное письмо Please accept this gift as a small token of our Appreciation. Пожалуйста, примите этот дар, как небольшой знак нашей признательности. He […]...
23. Correcting and Explaining in Conversation Danny: You look like you need To relax. Sybil: Excuse me? Danny: What I mean is, you look like you could use some R and R. Sybil: I didn’t know I looked tired and Worn out. Danny: No, What I’m trying to say is, people need Leisure time once in a while. Sybil: Yes, that’s […]...
24. College bar joke When I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the […]...
25. Paying for College Chris: Which colleges are you applying to? Marcella: None. I can’t afford to go to college. Even if I lived at home, Tuition, fees, and books are just too expensive. Chris: You could apply for Financial aid. Marcella: I don’t want to get a bunch of Loans and be In debt for the next 10 […]...
26. You should be more pollite Trafalgar Square. A young man and an old woman sit on a bench. Near the benches walk a lot of pigeons. Pigeons make a lot of noise. Young man stands up and begins to shout: “Fuck off you stupid pigeons! Fuck off!”. An old woman says: “Young man. You should be more pollite and not […]...
27. The Rabbi There is a story about a popular young rabbi, who on Sabbath eve announces to the congregation that he will not renew his contract and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush. No one wants him to leave. Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands up […]...
28. A college couple is under a tree on campus making out A college couple is under a tree on campus making out. After a while, the girl says, “I wish you had a flashlight.” He says, “Why’s that?” She says, “Because you’ve been eating grass for fifteen minutes.”...
29. Legal Problems I was reading the newspaper this morning and saw a story about a university student Arrested and Charged with Burglary and Assault. Last Monday, this student hit a Security guard over the head, Broke into his professor’s office, and Stole the professor’s computer. He wasn’t doing well in the class and thought that he could […]...
30. A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and tells the priest he’s been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever since his wife died. The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the pig is a male or female. “No! I’m not doing it anymore!” […]...
31. One day in class the teacher One day in class the teacher has sex education. On the black board she draws a penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is. In the back of the room, Dirty Johnny stands and says “That’s a penis, and my father has two of them”. The teacher looks surprised and […]...
32. Значение идиомы cut a class [cut a class] {v. phr.} To be truant; to deliberately miss a class and do something else instead. “If you keep cutting classes the way you do, you will almost surely flunk this course,” John’s professor said to him....
33. Мой колледж/ My College На английском языке Перевод на русский язык My College Мой колледж My name is Elena. I’m sixteen years old. I live in Kazan city, Russia. I have recently graduated from my high school and entered the Kazan Medical College. It is one of the best colleges in the city. Besides, I have always wanted to […]...
34. Three college students were rapping about who they’d like to be Three college students were rapping about who they’d like to be cast off on a desert with. The first one opted for Cindy Crawford. The next one chose Pamela Anderson. The third man chose Virginia Pipeline. “Never heard of her.” his companions protested. “Who is she?” “Why she’s just the greatest Italian gal of all, […]...
35. Man and a Policeman A man defecates on London Bridge. A policeman comes to him and says: – Sir but you are not allowed to do that in this place. -Fuck yuo! -Sir, but the Law? -I fuck your The Law! -Sir, but The Qeen? -I fuck your Queen! -Indeed? -In bed! -Sorry Your Majesty....
36. College cafeteria joke Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria. One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides. When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), […]...
37. Значение идиомы one-night stand [one-night stand] {n. phr.} 1. A single performance given by atraveling company while on a tour. After they went bankrupt in thebig cities, the traveling jazz quartet played one-night stands in thecountry. 2. A brief affair or sexual encounter. “With AIDS allaround us?” said Jane. “Nobody is having one-night stands anymore.”...
38. Three college roommates – two females and a male Three college roommates – two females and a male – began to argue after dinner about whose turn it was to do the dishes. “All right,” one of the girls said, “the first one to speak has to do them.” The trio retired to the living room to watch TV. When their neighbor, a school […]...
39. Dropping Out of College Aaron: Mom, I have something to tell you and you’re not going to like it. Margo: What is it? Aaron: I’m Dropping out of college. I want to get out into The real world and get a job. I’m wasting time in school. Margo: You’ll get a better job if you stay in school and […]...
40. The pleasure of reading В топике Удовольствие от чтения – я рассказываю о том, как сильно я люблю читать книги. Книги учат нас, что правильно и что неправильно, учат понимать мир и людей в нем, воспитывают человека и обогащают его интеллект. Книги – источник эмоционального вдохновения и романтических чувств; книги – неоценимые помощники в самообразовании. Мир книг полон чудес: […]...