Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question

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1. Перевод слова witness Witness – свидетель, очевидец Перевод слова To call as witness – вызывать в качестве свидетеля witness custody – взятие под стражу свидетеля to impeach a witness – оспаривать свидетельское показание The defense called only one Witness. Защита вызвала только одного свидетеля. Who Witnessed his signing the documents? Кто видел, как он подписывал эти документы? My […]...
2. Ask your question One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called to testify. A severe, no-nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair, unaware that its rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform. “Will you state your name?” asked the district attorney. Tilting back in her chair she opened her […]...
3. Where am I, Cathy? Attorney to witness: “What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?” Witness: “Where am I Cathy?” Attorney: “And why did that upset you?” Witness: “Because my name is Susan.”...
4. Lawyers arrive in Japan Source: Sunday Daily Breeze Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan’s well-oiled economic machine. It’s only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail. What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it’s something much more economically […]...
5. A precise location Attorney to witness: “And where was the location of the accident?” Witness: “Approximately milepost 499.” Attorney: “And where is milepost 499?” Witness: “About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500.”...
6. What do you get when you cross a Jehovah Witness and an atheist? What do you get when you cross a Jehovah’s Witness and an atheist? Someone who knocks on your door for no reason whatsoever. If God is dead, then what are they giving out at communion?...
7. Значение идиомы if worst comes to worst [if worst comes to worst] If the worst thing happens that beimagined; if the worst possible thing happens; if troubles grow worse. If worst comes to worst and Mr. Jones loses the house, he will sendhis family to his mother’s farm. If worst comes to worst, we shallclose the school for a few days....
8. A farmer walked into an attorney office A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?” The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce’s.” The attorney said, “well do you have any grounds?” The farmer said, “Yea, I got about 140 acres.” The attorney said, ” No, […]...
9. A wise choice The following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and a farmer with a bodily injury claim. It came from a Houston, Texas insurance agent. Attorney: “At the scene of the accident, did you tell the constable you had never felt better in your life?” Farmer: “That’s right.” Attorney: “Well, then, how is it […]...
10. An unfortunate coincidence One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem–my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell […]...
11. Перевод слова defense Defense – защита Перевод слова Defense mechanism – защитный механизм defense alliance – оборонительный альянс defense pact – договор о защите They mounted a good Defense. Они соорудили хорошую защиту. We need to improve our Defenses. Мы должны улучшить нашу оборону. The Defense called only one witness. Защита вызвала только одного свидетеля. Интересные факты Tower […]...
12. The local courtroom was packed as testimony began The local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee. The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for him trying to make his client appear more sympathetic to the Judge, especially since she had been […]...
13. Lawyers on a jury A trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with […]...
14. A tough case was being argued in court A tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney, feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle of hundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied. “The judge’ll kill me. Trying to bribe him! We’re dead!” “I don’t think so,” his attorney told him. “I sent it in […]...
15. Question answer 01 Where do religious school children practice sports? In the prayground! How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it! Why did the chicken get sent off? For persistent fowl play! Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game? It was a cup draw! Where […]...
16. How to hunt elephants – Lawyers style How to hunt elephants – Lawyer’s style Lawyers don’t hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around arguing about who owns the droppings. Software lawyers will claim that they own an entire herd based on the look and feel of one dropping. Sent by Alex...
17. Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. “What’s the story this time, Jones?” he asked sarcastically. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.” Jones sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the […]...
18. I have a question A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float? The father replied, “Don’t rightly know son.” A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, “How do fish […]...
19. Значение идиомы get the worst of [get the worst of] also [have the worst of] {v. phr.} To lose; bedefeated or beaten in; suffer most. Joe got the worst of theargument with Molly. – Often used in the phrase “the worst of it”. If you start a fight with Jim, you may get the worst of it. Billhad the worst of […]...
20. Значение идиомы at worst [at worst] or [at the worst] {adv. phr.} 1. Under the worst conditions; as the worst possibility. When Don was caught cheating in the examination he thought that at worst he would get a scolding. Compare: AT MOST. Contrast AT BEST. 2. In the least favorable view, to say the worst about a thing. The […]...
21. Перевод слова worst Worst – наихудший, хуже всего Перевод слова At the worst – в худшем случае his worst enemy – его злейший враг worst-case conditions – наихудшие условия Tell me the Worst at once. Скажите мне худшее сразу. He always thinks the Worst of everybody. Он всегда думает о людях самое плохое. My Worst suspicions were confirmed. […]...
22. Jones is driving past the state mental hospital Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for […]...
23. Значение идиомы not to give quarter [not to give quarter] {v. phr.} 1. To be utterly unwilling to showmercy; not to allow a weaker or defeated party the chance to savethemselves through escape. The occupying foreign army gave noquarter – they took no prisoners, shot everyone, and made escapeimpossible. 2. To argue so forcefully during a negotiation or in acourt of […]...
24. The answer to the eternal question A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when […]...
25. How you made money A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the […]...
26. Poetic justice A man was called to witness that a couple had been making love in a park. The witness: They were fucking your honor The judge: Could the witness put it in a more Sheakspearian way: The witness: The park was Dark but caused no fear Until tiny sounds came to my ear There was this […]...
27. Перевод слова normal Normal – нормальный, обычный Перевод слова To return to normal level – возвращать к норме normal immunity – естественный иммунитет departure from normal – отклонение от нормы He had a Normal childhood. У него было нормальное детство. They had a Normal, healthy baby. У них был обычный, здоровый ребенок. Normal services will be resumed in […]...
28. Значение идиомы shoot questions at [shoot questions at] {v. phr.} To interrogate rapidly andvigorously. The attorney for the prosecution shot one questionafter another at the nervous witness....
29. Muzzammil Hassan gets 25 to life for beheading wife, Aasiya Hassan A Buffalo man got 25 years to life Wednesday for beheading his wife in 2009. Muzzammil Hassan was convicted in February of the monstrous murder of his spouse, Aasiya Hassan. It took the jury less than an hour to find him guilty of second-degree murder. The life sentence was accompanied by an order of protection […]...
30. Visiting a lawyer for advice, the wife said Visiting a lawyer for advice, the wife said, “I want you to help me get a divorce. The Lawyer says OK, what are your grounds. My husband is getting a little queer to sleep with.” “What do you mean?” asked the attorney. “Does he force you to indulge in unusual sex practices?” “No,” replied the […]...
31. Перевод слова attorney Attorney – поверенный, адвокат Перевод слова Attorney general – главный прокурор штата by attorney – по доверенности to obtain an attorney – получить адвоката You may need to retain an Attorney. Вам, возможно, потребуется нанять адвоката. Their brother was articled to an Attorney. Их брат стажировался у адвоката. I can give you the address of […]...
32. Question and answer Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: […]...
33. Значение идиомы carry the day [carry the day] {v. phr.}, {informal} To win completely; to succeed in getting one’s aim accomplished. The defense attorney’s summary before the jury helped him carry the day....
34. The right way to ask a question A Jewish guy in a London hotel calls the operator and asks, in broken English with a heavy Lithuanian-Yiddish accent, for number 266418. A short time later, someone knocks, and when he opens the door he sees 2 beautiful and sexy girls who asked him: Have you ordered 2 shikses for one night?...
35. True love Three men were drinking at a bar – a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, “For her birthday, I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love me […]...
36. Being under oath “You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background,” sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. “If I wasn’t under oath, I’d return the compliment,” replied the witness....
37. Question answer 08 Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar? All of them, a crossbar can’t jump! Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches? They prefer cricket matches! What stories are told by basketball players? Tall stories! Who won the race between two balls of string? They we’re tied! Why are football players never […]...
38. Question is too easy ON A CHEMISTRY TEST at Midpark High School in Middleburg Heights, Ohio, one question concerned how to clean the floor after a chemical-powder spill. In detail, I described the liquid I would combine with the powder in order to dissolve it with chemical bonding and electron transfer. I was pleased with my grasp of molecular […]...
39. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]...
40. Перевод слова entire Entire – полный, целый Перевод слова The entire country – вся страна the entire world – целый мир, весь свет entire contract – неделимый договор Have you drunk the Entire bottle? Вы выпили всю бутылку? He willed his Entire estate to her. Он завещал ей все свое состояние. The war affected an Entire generation of […]...