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1. A man lay sprawled across three entire seatsA man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, «Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.» The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient. «Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have ... Читать далее...
2. Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranchCowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. «When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,» Joe began. «You mean the parking lot,» interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. «I walked up the trail to the door,» Joe ... Читать далее...
3. Buying Theater TicketsSusie: I can’t believe I’m going to get to see my favorite actor in a Play. I want Front row seats! David: I’m looking at the Venue’s seating plan right now and all front row seats are Taken for the entire Run. I’m guessing that Season ticket holders got those. Susie: Damn! All right. Let’s ... Читать далее...
4. Ventriliquist cowboy walks into townVentriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going? Dog: Doin alright. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How’s he treat you? ... Читать далее...
5. Back in the turn of the century in a mining townBack in the turn of the century in a mining town out west, a woman walked into a saloon. Suddenly she realised that she was not in the general store so she started to turn around and leave. As she was doing this, a drunk cowboy seated at the bar noticed her and said to ... Читать далее...
6. Reading timeA Cowboy riding down the trail encounters an Indian laying on the trail with hard on. The Cowboy asks «what are you doing?» Indian says» Me tellum time.» Cowboy shakes his head, rides on, encounters another exactly the same. Says «You telling time?» yup» «how can you tell time like that?» Indian says «workum like ... Читать далее...
7. A Visit to the TheatreТопик Посещение театра познакомит вас с понятием «театр» и теми немногими правилами, которых придерживаются зрители при его посещении. Согласно крылатому выражению «Театр начинается с вешалки», любой спектакль начинается с момента входа зрителей в здание театра – это очень интересно и увлекательно. We have a very beatiful theatre in our town. It is a modern building ... Читать далее...
8. At the theatreВ топике В театре я рассказываю о своем первом посещении Большого театра, где я смотрел балет «Спящая красавица» Чайковского, с участием Галины Улановой. Билеты были куплены заранее, а в театре был полный аншлаг. В топике я описываю зрительный зал и то незабываемое впечатление, которое у меня осталось на всю жизнь, после увиденного представления. Это одно ... Читать далее...
9. A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late oneA cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one afternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for the horse as the Indians can always use another pony. The dog’s fate is some what tenuous but it is certain that the cowboy will be burned at the stake the following sunrise. That ... Читать далее...
10. Storing Luggage on an AirplaneYoshi: Can you hold my jacket while I try to get my Roller bag down the Aisle? Tatiana: All right, but I have to roll my own bag down the aisle, you know. Yoshi: Fine, give it back to me. All of these Overhead bins are full. Where are we supposed To store them? Tatiana: ... Читать далее...
11. A customer sent an order to a distributorA customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, «We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.» The next day ... Читать далее...
12. A cowboy walked into a barber shopA cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, «I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.» The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова entireEntire — полный, целый Перевод слова The entire country — вся страна the entire world — целый мир, весь свет entire contract — неделимый договор Have you drunk the Entire bottle? Вы выпили всю бутылку? He willed his Entire estate to her. Он завещал ей все свое состояние. The war affected an Entire generation of ... Читать далее...
14. Many moonsThere was a cowboy who went to the outhouse. He heard some noise, so he looked inside, and lo and behold there was an Indian down in the hole. The cowboy said, «How long have you been down there?» The Indian replied, «Many moons.»...
15. The bank manager was in the final stages of hiringThe bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashierand was down to two final applicants — one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, «Jim ... Читать далее...
16. Taking the final examTwo college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, «Old MacDonald had a ________.» Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова managerManager — управляющий, руководитель, менеджер Перевод слова Manager of distribution — менеджер отдела сбыта branch manager — заведующий отделением, заведующий филиалом campaign manager — руководитель избирательной кампании He was appointed Manager. Его назначили управляющим. He will make a good Manager. Он станет хорошим управляющим. I demand to see the Manager. Я хочу видеть менеджера. Происхождение ... Читать далее...
18. Beware of dog!Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, «Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?» «Yep, that’s him,» ... Читать далее...
19. NoticeTo make things easier for all of us, please notice this Important Notice About Notices. You may have noticed the increased number of notices for you to notice. We notice that some of our notices have been noticed. On the other hand, some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It ... Читать далее...
20. Anybody Home?A boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, «Hello?» Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to the youngster, the boss asked, «Is ... Читать далее...
21. A state-of-the-art watchA cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, «Is your date running late?» «No», he replies,»I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы cowboy[cowboy] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} A person who drives his car carelessly and at too great a speed in order to show off his courage. Joe’s going to be arrested some day — he is a cowboy on the highway....
23. Перевод слова theatreTheatre — театр Перевод слова A block of theatre tickets — пачка театральных билетов check-taker at the theatre — билетер в театре theatre lobby — вестибюль театра The Theatre has a revolving stage. У театра есть вращающаяся сцена. We were at the Theatre last night. Вчера вечером мы были в театре. I enjoy Theater and ... Читать далее...
24. At a U. N. meeting the American ambassadorAt a U. N. meeting the American ambassador turned to the Japanese ambassador and whispered, «When was your last election?» The Japanese ambassador turned bright red and whispered back, «before bleakfast.»...
25. Is that your horseThe Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, «Who owns the big white horse outside?» The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, «I do. Why?» The cowboy looked at the ... Читать далее...
26. When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to townWhen this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there was this bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. The the guy’s amazement, when ... Читать далее...
27. The work qualification testMurphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy ... Читать далее...
28. Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider thisHusband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back ... Читать далее...
29. There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the marketThere was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a ... Читать далее...
30. Want some of this?Mongo’s old lady decided she wanted t do something special to please him on his birthday, so she bought a pair of crotchless panties. That night, as he came into the house, she lay sprawled on the couch spread-eagle. «Hi hon,» she purred sexily. «Y’all want some of this?» «Hell, no!» he hollered. «Look at ... Читать далее...
31. Learn it by listeningTwo cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, «You see that Indian?» «Yeah,» says the other cowboy. «Look,» says the first one, «he’s listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction.» Just ... Читать далее...
32. Work EnvironmentWork Environment: (Wise manager) + (Wise employee) = PROFIT (Wise manager) + (Dumb employee) = PRODUCTION (Dumb manager) + (Wise employee) = PROMOTION (Dumb manager) + (Dumb employee) = OVERTIME...
33. Equally qualifiedYoung man Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went ... Читать далее...
34. Three cowboys are sitting around a campfireThree cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins. The first says, «I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men ... Читать далее...
35. Getting Rid of Bugs and RodentsApartment Manager: This is the one-bedroom apartment we have for rent. Let me show you around. Sherin: Wait! Did you see that? It looked like a Mouse or a Rat. Apartment Manager: There aren’t any Rodents or any other Vermin in this Apartment complex. I make sure of that. Sherin: Are you sure? Apartment Manager: ... Читать далее...
36. Question answer 02Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs! Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player Fan: Why’s that? Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him! Why do artists never when they play football? They keep drawing! ... Читать далее...
37. A man goes to his bank manager and saysA man goes to his bank manager and says «I’d like to start a small business how do I go about it?» The bank manager leans back and clasps his hands together on his gut and replies «Buy a big one and wait»...
38. Mr. Jones had hired a new secretaryMr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said, «Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open.» He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his zipper was ... Читать далее...
39. One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decidedOne day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with no experience. On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы under wraps[under wraps] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} Not allowed to be seen untilthe right time; not allowed to act or speak freely; in secrecy;hidden. — Usually used with «keep». We have a new player, hut weare keeping him under wraps until the game. What the President isplanning will be kept under wraps until tomorrow. The spy ... Читать далее...