What thin people do

By Barbara Florio Graham
From McCall’s, June, 1983,

I read every diet I can get my hands on. I even follow their suggestions. But eventually, inevitably, I always get fat again. Now, at last, I’ve found The Answer. After living for almost 14 years with a man who never gains an ounce no matter what I serve him, I’ve found out what it is that keeps him thin: He thinks differently. The real difference between fat and thin people is that thin people:

Avoid eating popcorn in the movies because it gets their hands greasy;

Split a large combination pizza with three friends;

Think Oreo cookies are for kids;

Nibble cashews one at a time;

Think that doughnuts are indigestible;

Read books they have to hold with both hands;

Become so absorbed in a weekend project they forget to have lunch;

Fill the candy dish on their desks with paper clips;

Counteract the midafternoon slump with a nap instead of a cinnamon Danish;

Exchange the deep-fryer they received for Christmas for a clock-radio;

Lose their appetites when they’re depressed;

Think chocolate Easter bunnies are for kids;

Save leftovers that are too skimpy to use for another meal in order to make interesting soups;

Throw out stale potato chips;

Will eat only Swiss or Dutch chocolate, which cannot be found except in a special store;

Think it’s too much trouble to stop at a special store just to buy chocolate;

Don’t celebrate with a hot-fudge sundae every time they lose a pound;

Warm up after skiing with black coffee instead of hot chocolate and whipped cream;

Try all the salads at the buffet, leaving room for only one dessert;

Find iced tea more refreshing than an ice-cream soda;

Get into such interesting conversations at cocktail parties that they never quite work their way over to the hors-d’oeuvre table;

Have no compulsion to keep the candy dish symmetrical by reducing the jelly beans to an equal number of each color;

Think that topping brownies with ice cream makes too rich a dessert;

Bring four cookies into the TV room instead of a box;

Think banana splits are for kids.