There were two people having sex in a car

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1. Ultra dumb people 02 A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. In Ohio, an unidentified man in his […]...
2. Some of the most tactful people on Earth are English Some of the most tactful people on Earth are English. One office supervisor called a secretary in to give her the bad news that she was being fired. He started the conversation with: “Miss Symthe, I really don’t know how we’re going to get along without you, but starting Monday, we’re going to try....
3. Перевод слова dollar Dollar – доллар Перевод слова Thousand dollar bill – купюра в тысячу долларов to break a five-dollar banknote – разменять пятидолларовую банкноту half dollar – пол-доллара It cost three Dollars. Это стоит три доллара. I have a Dollar in coins. У меня есть доллар в монетах. I don’t have even a Dollar! У меня нет […]...
4. Ultra dumb people 01 The incredibly dumb AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence. Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, […]...
5. A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into the coke machine at a large Vegas casino. She kept punching the buttons only to have happen what you’d expect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other, and change too! After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so went and got more. Back […]...
6. Diana – the People’s Princess Diana Spencer was born on the first of July 1961 in Sandringham in England. She had two older sisters and a younger brother. In childhood she liked games, swimming, running and dancing. She wanted to become a dancer. Besides she loved children very much and at the age of sixteen she worked in schools for […]...
7. People of Different Ages Gloria: I’m surprised at the variety of people on this tour. Andy: Oh, yeah? I hadn’t noticed. Gloria: Well, we’ll be spending the next two weeks with these people so I thought I’d get to know some of them. Andy: That’s nice. Gloria: Did you see that thirty-something couple with a Toddler and an Infant? […]...
8. Getting a Fresh Start Nico: I’m moving to Atlanta. I want a Fresh start. Celia: This is a surprise. I thought you were going To stick it out here and try To put the past behind you. Nico: There are too many Reminders here. I want a Clean slate. What’s done is done and I’m tired of Blame and […]...
9. An aging hooker volunteered to give the novice An aging hooker volunteered to give the novice a few tips on the art of fellatio. Satisfied that she had perfected the basics, the old pro asked the beginner if she had any questions. “Well yeah. I was wondering how long dicks should be sucked.” “The same as the short ones, honey.”...
10. I think I try a nicer approach Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let […]...
11. Перевод слова people People – люди, народ, население Перевод слова Distinctive people – необычные люди the people of London – жители Лондона the best people in the town – лучшие люди в городе English-speaking peoples – народы, говорящие на английском языке Power to the People! Власть народу! People say we look alike. Люди говорят что мы похожи. She […]...
12. Stupid people fearing WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind […]...
13. A young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole out A young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole out during confession, asks an older priest what he should give a cocksucker. “Oh,” says the older priest, “give the altar boy a dollar or so, if you feel like it. Personally, I never give them more than fifty cents.”...
14. Breakfast was my idea It was George the Mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his […]...
15. Cop wants an excuse A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks “I can outrun this guy,” so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway – […]...
16. Перевод слова guess Guess – гадать, догадываться, предполагать Перевод слова Scientific guess – научное предположение guess who did it! – догадайтесь, кто это сделал! I can guess your answer – я предвижу ваш ответ We may only Guess when it all began. Можно только догадываться, когда все это началось. I’d Guess she is thirty-something. Ей, наверное, немного за […]...
17. Top ten things not to say on your Anniversary 10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking. 9. Today is our what? 8. Okay, let’s celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together? 7. I thought we only celebrated important events? 6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband. 5. You don’t like what I pick out, so I […]...
18. Strange people are here There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son was doing in his new life. ‘I’m fine, ‘ Angus said. ‘But there are […]...
19. Describing People’s Looks Gilles: Hey, what are you looking at? Nora: Oh, these? They’re pictures from my trip Back home last month. Gilles: Let’s have a look. So, who’s this? Nora: That’s my sister and that’s my Cousin Keira. Gilles: Your sister Looks nothing like you. You’re Fair and she has dark hair and dark eyes. Now, you […]...
20. Billy Gates writes Santa Dear Santa, How are you doing? I hope you’ve had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It’s really neat how you’re able to do that year after year. I guess that’s how you stay number one in the Christmas presents business business. Actually, I admire the way you […]...
21. Types of People at Work Raul: Thanks for Showing me around on my first day. Ursula: It’s no problem. I want to give you The lay of the land and tell you about the people you’ll be working with. For instance, that’s Julie over there. She’s really nice, but she’s also a Perfectionist. If you ever work with her, remember […]...
22. Feeling Homesick Annie: Why the Long face? Luis: I don’t know. I guess I’m feeling a little Homesick. Annie: I thought you got over that. I know the Adjustment was hard when you first got here, but I thought you were Coping pretty well. Luis: I was. It’s just that the holidays are coming up and I […]...
23. Значение идиомы bottom dollar [bottom dollar] {n.}, {v. phr.}, {informal} One’s last penny, one’s last dollar. He was down to his bottom dollar when he suddenly got the job offer....
24. Значение идиомы give thought to [give thought to] {v. phr.} To consider; think about. Have yougiven any thought to the question of how to sell Grandpa’s old house? Contrast: GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT....
25. A woman was thinking about finding a pet A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; it wouldn’t be as much work as say a dog, and it would be fun to hear it speak. She went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large […]...
26. The people are waiting Upon returning to their car from a shopping tour, one of the young ladies realized that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth control pills. She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her prescription to the pharmacist. “Please fill this immediately,” she asked. “I’ve got people waiting in my car!”...
27. Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn’t have change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base’s corridor floors, and asked him, “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?” Private Duncan replied, “Sure.” The Corporal turned red. He said, “That’s no way to address a superior officer! Now let’s […]...
28. It’s dark in here A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her Lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there […]...
29. How many people work in the U. S. government? One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy’s Social Studies homework, the chapter about government. The boy turns to his father and asks, “Dad, how many people work in the U. S. government?” The father replies without hesitating, “Oh, about ten percent.”...
30. Talking About Failure Akiko: How did your presentation Go over this morning at the meeting? Gerry: It was a complete Flop! Akiko: I don’t believe it. You spent weeks working on that presentation. Gerry: It wasn’t the presentation that Bombed. It was my big idea. Leona called it a Retread of what I presented last year, and she […]...
31. People Around the World As you know people from different countries don’t look the same. For example, people from countries such as Denmark, Norway and Sweden are usually tall. They have fair hair, blue eyes and a pale complexion. Most people in Mediterranean countries such as Italy, Spain and Greece are rather short. They have usually got black or […]...
32. Some people are sitting in a bar Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, “My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG.” Another guy says, “What’s that?” The first guy says, “That means I am a Single, New Age Guy.” Another one says, “My name is Gary, and I am a DINK. A girl asks, “What’s that?” […]...
33. It’s not a big deal, but it feels good A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife: “Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what happened! She’s got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it’s not a big deal but it feels good.” The next day […]...
34. Love means different things to different people В топике Люди по разному относятся к любви – автор старается разобраться, что есть любовь? На Земле миллионы людей и у каждого свое понятие истины, дружбы, ненависти, верности и, конечно, любви. Это чувство описывали поэты и писатели, каждый по-своему. Можно встретить разные определения любви: мудрая, глупая, глубокая, горькая, забавная и др. Некоторые считают, что любовь […]...
35. Stupid people stories 02 Stupid people DEADHEADS A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be counted. The judged ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify. THIS WOULD BE ME The judge called the […]...
36. Eating Spoiled Food Ryan: It’s really nice of you to make dinner for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a home-cooked meal. Corrie: I’m happy to do it. First, though, let’s see what you have in your fridge. Ryan: I have tons of food in there. Corrie: What is that? It looks Moldy. Ryan: Oh, […]...
37. Truly stupid people 02 Top honors for “Human Projectile of the Month” go to an as-of-yet unidentified dude who is also a serious contender for the annual “Darwin Award”. That prestigious prize is given posthumously to the person who does the human gene pool the greatest service by removing himself from it in the most extraordinarily stupid fashion. Troopers […]...
38. Значение идиомы sell down the river [sell down the river] {v. phr.} To give harmful information aboutsomeone or something to one’s enemies; betray. The traitor sold hiscountry down the river to the enemy army. The criminal told thehiding place of his companions and sold them down the river. Compare:SELL OUT....
39. Truly stupid people 01 A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30,000+, and has $400.00+ in monthly payments. He’s pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to […]...
40. Three people were standing on the Titanic Three people were standing on the Titanic, An American, a Brit and an belgian. It was almost sinking. The captain told everyone to go into the liveboats. The Brit yelled “Women and children first”. The American said “Screw the women and children” and the Belgian answered “Huh, do we have enough time left to do […]...