Ultra dumb people 02
A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.
In Medford, Oregon, a 27-year-old jobless man with an MBA blamed his college degree for his murder of three people. “There are too many business grads out there,” he said. “If I had chosen another field, all this may not have happened.”
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot,” the man shouted, “That’s not what I said!”
A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit-of-theLooms. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door. “He was seen hopping and jumping around,” said police spokesman Mike Carey, “with an explosion taking place inside his pants.” Police have the man’s charred trousers in custody.
A man spoke frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the doctor asked. “No, you idiot!” the man shouted. “This is her husband!”
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
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- Значение идиомы inch [inch] See: BY INCHES, EVERY INCH, GIVE ONE AN INCH AND HE WILLTAKE A MILE, WITHIN AN ACE OF or WITHIN AN INCH OF, WITHIN AN INCH OFONE’S LIFE....
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- Значение идиомы run for it [run for it] or [make a run for it] {v. phr.} To dash for safety;make a speedy escape. The bridge the soldiers were on started tofall down and they had to run for it. The policeman shouted forthe robber to stop, but the robber made a run for if....
- Значение идиомы on the lam [on the lam] {adj.} or {adv. phr.}, {slang} Running away, especially from the law; in flight. The bank robber was on the lamfor ten months before the police caught him. – Sometimes used in thephrase “take it on the lam”. After a big quarrel with her father, the girl took it on the lam....
- A robber was robbing a house A robber was robbing a house when he heard a voice. “Jesus is watching you!” “who’s there?” The robber said But no sound was heard. So he kept going and he heard it two more times when he spotted a parrot. “What’s your name,” the robber asked. “Cocodora” said the parrot. “Now, what kind of […]...
- Значение идиомы give one an inch, and he will take a mile [give one an inch, and he will take a mile] If you give some peoplea little or yield anything, they will want more and more; some peopleare never satisfied. I gave Billy a bite of candy and he wantedmore and more. If you give him an inch, he’ll take a mile. Thecounselor said to Jack, […]...
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- Перевод слова inch Inch – дюйм, высота Перевод слова A man of inches – мужчина высокого роста square inch – квадратный дюйм inch by inch – мало-помалу, понемногу Caleb’s face fell a full Inch. Лицо Калеба вытянулось на целый дюйм. We Inched along in heavy traffic. Мы медленно двигались в плотном автомобильном потоке. Give him an Inch and […]...
- Перевод слова robber Robber – грабитель, разбойник Перевод слова The very type of a robber den – настоящий воровской притон armed robber – вооруженный разбойник highway robber – разбойник с большой дороги The Robber hit him on the head with an iron bar, and he went out. Грабитель огрел его по голове железным прутом, и он вырубился. The […]...
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- A merchant captain and several of his officers A merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after a big night ashore. As they climbed the gangway the captain threw up all over himself. Pointing to an apprentice seaman above him he shouted, “Give that man five days in the brig for vomiting on me!” The following morning the […]...
- Значение идиомы come across [come across] {v.} 1. or [run across] To find or meet by chance. He came across a dollar bill in the suit he was sending to the cleaner. The other day I ran across a book that you might like. I came across George at a party last week; it was the first time I […]...
- On their honeymoon night On their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body. She said, “I can’t wear your pants.” “That’s right,” intoned the groom, “And don’t you forget it. I’m the one who wears the pants in the family.” The bride […]...
- Перевод слова wire Wire – провода, проволока; телеграфировать Перевод слова Elastic wire – проволочная пружина wire fence – проволочная изгородь live wire – провод под напряжением She Wired home for some money. Она телеграфировала домой, чтобы ей выслали денег. The flowers were bound together with thin Wire. Цветы были связаны тонкой проволокой. The Wire is charged with electricity. […]...
- Attempts by the dumb SIX DIE TRYING TO SAVE CHICKEN – August 1, 1995 CAIRO, Egypt (AP) – Six people drowned yesterday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18-year-old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the water pulled […]...
- This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls from a local brothel, and as she passed by, she asked one girl what the lineup was for. the girl shrugged and said, jokingly, “cough drops” and snickered. Just then the cop approached the old gal and said, “What are you doing here, m’am?” […]...
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- Значение идиомы pants [pants] See: ANTS IN ONE’S PANTS, CATCH ONE WITH ONE’S PANTS DOWN, FANCY PANTS, FLY BY THE SEAT OF ONE’S PANTS, GET THE LEAD OUT OF ONE’spanTS, KICK IN THE PANTS, WEAR THE TROUSERS or WEAR THE PANTS....
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- A bartender was getting ready to close for the night A bartender was getting ready to close for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to the bartender, “This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!” The scared bartender pleads, “Don’t shoot, please! I’ll do as you say!” The robber yells, “Shut […]...
- Перевод идиомы read someone his or her rights, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: read someone his or her rights Перевод: зачитать кому-либо его права (во время ареста, задержания) Пример: The police officer read the bank robber his rights when he was arrested. Офицер полиции зачитал грабителю банка его права, когда он был задержан....
- There were two people having sex in a car There were two people having sex in a car. They finished up and the guy thew the comdom out the window. His girlfriend got mad at him she wanted to go again. So he got out of the car and went to find the condom. He found that a little boy had found it and […]...
- Making bets A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, and says she wants to open a savings account. The accounts person asks her how much she would like to deposit to open the account and the little old lady says, “Three million dollars.” The accounts person is startled, and says, “In what form?” and […]...
- Перевод слова brain Brain – мозг Перевод слова Brain damage – повреждение мозга brain disorder – расстройство умственной деятельности engineering brain – технический склад ума My Brain was in a buzz. Мои мозги гудели. I am not a Brain as you well know. Как ты знаешь, я не слишком способный. Alcohol fogs his Brain. Алкоголь затуманивает его мозги....
- Opening a Bank Account I decided to Switch banks recently, and after looking at my options, I Went for Mar Vista National Bank. I Drove over to the bank, parked next to the Drive-through teller lanes, and walked inside. I made my way to the new Accounts desk, and was greeted by John, one of the customer service representatives […]...
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- A large difference A man went to the doctor’s. The doctor came in and said, “Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that you have an inoperable brain tumor. The good news is our hospital has just been certified to do brain transplants and there has been an accident right out […]...
- Значение идиомы together with [together with] {prep.} In addition to; in the company of; alongwith. John, together with his brother, has gone to the party. The police found a knife, together with the stolen money, hidden in ahollow tree....