Types of Religious Leaders

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1. On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope wasOn the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said, «What’s a four — letter word ending in «unt» which means «woman»? The bishop said, «Did you try «aunt»? The Pope said, «Mmmm. Do you ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова religiousReligious — религиозный, верующий Перевод слова Early religious beliefs — религиозные представления в древности a religious ceremony — религиозный обряд he is not religious — он не верит в бога religious bigot — религиозный фанатик My Religious beliefs forbid the drinking of alcohol. Мои религиозные убеждения запрещают употреблять алкоголь. A poet and a profoundly Religious ... Читать далее...
3. Three religious truthsThere are three religious truths: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters...
4. Religious battle golfThe Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. «Your holiness,» said one of the Cardinals, «Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match.» The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held ... Читать далее...
5. A theological debateSeveral centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy, if the ... Читать далее...
6. Types of Car and VehiclesRobert: Hi, I’m Robert. What are you In the market for today? Mary: I want to buy a new car, but I’m not sure what I want. Robert: Well, you’ve come to the right place. We have a very large selection of cars and Trucks – Just about any type of Vehicle you can think ... Читать далее...
7. A very religious man lived right next door to an atheistA very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church. However, the atheist’s life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, ... Читать далее...
8. A man says to his wifeA man says to his wife, «Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing.» Wife says, «I dont want to go.» Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se. Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says, «It tastes like sh*t. Man says, ... Читать далее...
9. Пословица / поговорка blind leading the blind / blind leaders of the blind — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: blind leading the blind / blind leaders of the blind Перевод: слепой ведет слепого Пример: It was the blind leading the blind when the teacher who could not cook was asked to teach the cooking class. Ситуация была такая, что слепой вел слепого, когда учителя, который не умел готовить, попросили вести кулинарные ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы heap coals of fire on one’s head[heap coals of fire on one’s head] {v. phr.}, {literary} To be kindor helpful to someone who has done wrong to you, so that he isashamed. Alice heaped coals of fire on Mary’s head by inviting herto a party after Mary had gossiped about her. Jean Valjean stolethe Bishop’s silver, but the Bishop heaped coals ... Читать далее...
11. A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious itemsA man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with «WWJD» printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn’t figure it out, so he asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for ... Читать далее...
12. A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a trainA Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi leans over and asks, «So how high can you advance in your organization?» The Priest says «If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop.» «Well, could you get any higher than that?» asks the Rabbi. «I suppose that ... Читать далее...
13. How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for HoursI once wrote a book called How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours. It went like this: To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the next sentence. To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the previous sentence.» It didn’t sell very well. I thought with the short attention span of people these ... Читать далее...
14. Mary went to Jill’s place to tell her about a horribleMary went to Jill’s place to tell her about a horrible experience she’d had the previous night with this bloke she brought home. «Well, what happened when you got there?» Jill asked «The bastard called me a slut!» Mary said. «And what did you do then?» Jill asked, shocked. «I told him to get the ... Читать далее...
15. Describing People’s Body TypesRemi: We need to get these Costumes sorted out. I’m not sure we have ones that will fit each person in this Play. Bryan: Let’s see. We need a shirt for Hector. He’s Broad-shouldered, so this one would be too small. Any luck finding one over there? Remi: No, but I think I found a ... Читать далее...
16. When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to townWhen this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there was this bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. The the guy’s amazement, when ... Читать далее...
17. Living on the Fringes of SocietyCarla: Why do those teenagers have to dress like that? Don’t they want To fit in? Donald: Maybe they feel Marginalized and they’re showing their feelings of Alienation through their clothes. Carla: That’s just a bunch of Psychobabble. Nobody is treating them like Second-class citizens. They’re choosing To set themselves apart, to make themselves Outcasts. ... Читать далее...
18. A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accidentA lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also. «Now, ... Читать далее...
19. Types of VandalismJim: Did you hear what happened to the Romeros? Helene: No, what? Jim: They went on vacation for a week and Vandals broke a couple of windows in the back of their house and Tagged their living room walls with Graffiti. Helene: That’s terrible! There are always Punks who like To egg houses in this ... Читать далее...
20. Types of LuggageDriver: Ma’am, where would you like these suitcases? Leona: The three Wheeled suitcases should go next to the bed, and the Garment bag should be Hung up In the closet. Where is my Expandable bag? Driver: Do you mean this Duffel bag? Leona: Yes. You can leave that right there. Hmm, where is my Carry-on? ... Читать далее...
21. One balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides toOne balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides to take a walk. He slips out the rear door of the Vatican and is walking through the back alleys of Rome when he sees a ten-year-old boy smoking a cigarette. The Pope gently says to him, «Young man, you’re much too young to smoke!» The kid ... Читать далее...
22. The only true religionOne day God called the Pope, and he said «John Paul I have good news and bad news. First the good news. I am tired of all the squabbling between the religions. I have decided there will be only the one true religion». The Pope was overjoyed and told God how wise his decision was, ... Читать далее...
23. The Pope was working on a crossword puzzleThe Pope was working on a crossword puzzle. He thought and thought about one clue, finally gave up and asked the Cardinal next to him, «What’s a four letter word, ending in U — N — T that means ‘woman’?» The Cardinal was working on his own puzzle and didn’t even bother to look up. ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы give oneself airs[give oneself airs] {v. phr.} To act proud; act vain. Mary gaveherself airs when she wore her new dress. John gave himself airswhen he won first prize....
25. The Pope vs. the QueenThe Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at thousands of people in the forecourt below. The Queen says to the Pope out of the corner of her mouth, «I bet you a tenner that I can make every English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my ... Читать далее...
26. Types of MeetingsSusanna: All right, then. This meeting is over. We’ll meet again next week for a Status update. Juan: Hey, do you have a few minutes to talk about tomorrow’s Teleconference? Susanna: Sorry, I’ve got to run. I’m late for my department’s weekly Brainstorming session. Can it wait? Juan: Sure, how about a Lunch meeting? Susanna: ... Читать далее...
27. Types of WorkI got a call yesterday from Amy, a co-worker from the office. She and I work in the same Department. We’ve had lunch at work a few times but I really didn’t know her that well. I was really glad she called. Kevin: Hello. Amy: Hi, Could I speak to Kevin? Kevin: This is Kevin. ... Читать далее...
28. A little girl was playing up a tree near a churchA little girl was playing up a tree near a church. The priest was taking a walk when he happened to look up the tree and saw the little girl. She had no panties on. He called her down and gave her money to buy a pair of panties. The girl was so happy and ... Читать далее...
29. Pope DiesPope Dies The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He’s met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon ... Читать далее...
30. The Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinalsThe Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals. When they have all assembled at the Vatican, he takes them into the meeting hall and states, «I have some really fantastic news and some very terrible news.» Of course, all the cardinals want to hear the good news first, so the Pope tells them, «Jesus ... Читать далее...
31. Перевод слова dressDress — платье, одежда; одеваться, наряжаться Перевод слова Cheap dress — дешевое платье dress code — дресс-код conservative style of dress — консервативный стиль одежды She Dressed warmly for skiing. Она оделась тепло для катания на лыжах. The Dress fits well. Платье сидит хорошо. They always Dress for dinner. Они всегда наряжаются к ужину....
32. Перевод сленгового выражения idiot box, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: idiot box Перевод: телевизор, «ящик» Синоним: boob tube Пример: I wasted my whole night in front of the idiot box. Я всю ночь просидел перед ящиком....
33. TraditionsA man and a woman got married, and he told her : » since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for ... Читать далее...
34. Going to a SpaJan: This is the life! Spending the day at a Spa is my idea of Paradise. Tim: Yeah, it’s great. Jan: Aren’t you enjoying yourself? Tim: The Massage was okay, but why do I have to get a Facial and a Body wrap? I’m a guy! Jan: Men need Rejuvenating, too. These are all Holistic ... Читать далее...
35. Haircut before a tripA man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, «Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?» «We’re taking TWA,» was the reply. ... Читать далее...
36. There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the PopeThere was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death’s door, and said to her papal neighbour. ‘Father, surely you can do something about this…’ To which the Pope replied, ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы pep talk[pep talk] {n.}, {informal} A speech that makes people feel good sothey will try harder and not give up. The football coach gave theteam a pep talk. Mary was worried about her exams, but felt betterafter the teacher’s pep talk....
38. Биография Елизаветы I на английском языке. Biography of Elizabeth IElizabeth I was queen of England from 1558 until she died in 1603. Her reign was called the Elizabethan Age, a very exciting and glorious period in English history, in which England became an important world power. She was born near London in 1533. Her father was Henry VIII and her mother Anne Boleyn, the ... Читать далее...
39. Mary came back from lunch to find that all the girlsMary came back from lunch to find that all the girls in the office had removed their clothes and were lying on the floor naked. She lost no time in taking off her dress and joining them, but as soon as she laid down the girl on her right hissed, «Turn over, Mary — this ... Читать далее...
40. Types of AllergiesBert: Doctor, Give it to me straight. Is my Medical condition serious? Doctor: I suspect that your Rashes and other symptoms are the result of Allergies. Bert: Allergies?! I thought I had some kind of serious Disease. Doctor: Allergies can be serious. I’m going to give you tests to see what you’re allergic to. Bert: ... Читать далее...