Two story house

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1. Humor about the Irishmen There is a story about the Irishman who drowned while he was digging a grave for a friend. He’d wanted to be buried at sea. “Well, Mrs. O’Connor, so you want a divorce?” the solicitor questioned his client. “Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?” “Oh, no,” replied Mrs. O’Connor. “Shure now, we […]...
2. A reason for divorce “Well, Mrs. O’Connor, so you want a divorce?” the solicitor questioned his client. “Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?” “Oh, no,” replied Mrs. O’Connor. “Shure now, we have a carport.” The solicitor tried again. “Well, does the man beat you up?” “No, no,” said Mrs. O’Connor, looking puzzled. “I’m always first out […]...
3. Staring down from the bench to announce the terms Staring down from the bench to announce the terms of the divorce decree, the judge turned to the husband and said: “I’m going to award her alimony in the amount of $250 a month.” To which the woman’s about-to-be ex replied: “That’s mighty kind of you, judge. I’ll try to help her all I can, […]...
4. The Story of the Bats Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, “Let’s fly out of the cave and get some blood.” “We’re new here,” says the second one. “It’s dark out, and we don’t know where to look. We’d better wait until the other bats go with us.” The first […]...
5. A man is walking past this house when a used condom A man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his head. Rather disgusted and absolutely furious, he goes up to the front door and starts pounding on it. An elderly man opens it and asks him what caused him to knock […]...
6. Перевод слова story Story – рассказ, повесть, сюжет Перевод слова Short story – рассказ, новелла funny story – анекдот the main thing in a novel is the story – самое главное в романе – это сюжет His Story rings true. Его рассказ звучит правдоподобно. He told us the Story. Он рассказал нам эту историю. I accredited his Story. […]...
7. Значение идиомы house [house] See: BOARDING HOUSE REACH, BRING DOWN THE HOUSE, PUN HOUSE, HASH HOUSE, KEEP HOUSE, ON THE HOUSE, PARISH HOUSE, PEOPLE WHO LIVE INGLASS HOUSES SHOULD NOT THROW STONES, PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES orPLAGUE O’ BOTH YOUR HOUSES, PUT ONE’S HOUSE IN ORDER or SET ONE’SHOUSE TN ORDER....
8. The other day my house caught fire The other day my house caught fire. The insurance agent said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” Insurance agent frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.” Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the house […]...
9. Значение идиомы upper story [upper story] {n.} 1. A floor or level of a building above thefirst floor. The apartment house where Gene lives is five storieshigh and he lives in one of the upper stories. 2. {slang} A person’shead or brain. Lulu has nobody home in the upper story. Bill’ssister says he is weak in the upper story....
10. Using nails on a house These two newfies are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away. This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over […]...
11. Значение идиомы bring down the house [bring down the house] {v. phr.}, {informal} To start an audience laughing or clapping enthusiastically. The principal’s story was funny in itself and also touched their loyalties, so it brought down the house. The President made a fine speech which brought down the house....
12. Значение идиомы sob story [sob story] {n.} A story that makes you feel pity or sorrow; a talethat makes you tearful. The beggar told us a long sob story beforehe asked for money. The movie is based on a sob story, but peoplelove it....
13. Значение идиомы put one’s house in order [put one’s house in order] or [set one’s house in order] {v. phr.}To arrange your affairs in good order. Grandfather knew he wouldnot live long and set his house in order. When Mr. Black died, hislawyer helped the widow put her house in order....
14. Two nuns go to a restaurant to have dinner Two nuns go to a restaurant to have dinner. They notice Rocky Mountain Oysters on the menu and wondered what that was. They ask the waiter who replies “Oh Sister, those are nuts.” She answers “Do you mean like the kind you crack with a rock?” “No. The kind you rock on a crack.”...
15. A cure for a headache Phil was at the bar one night, and complained about having a headache. “I’ve got a beaut cure for a headache,” said his mate Trev. “Whenever I have a headache I head home and I get my wife to give me a long, slow, wet blowjob. Never fails.” A week went by and they were […]...
16. Advantages and disadvantages of living in private house Топик Преимущества и недостатки жизни в частном доме приводит все “за” и “против” проживания в собственном доме. Владелец частного дома не зависит от мнения соседей, но должен заботиться сам о безопасности дома, сам следить за его состоянием и обязательно иметь автомобиль, чтобы добраться до города. Если не принимать во внимание эти факты, то жизнь в […]...
17. Значение идиомы as the story goes [as the story goes] {adv. phr.} As the story is told; as one has heard through rumor. As the story goes, Jonathan disappeared when he heard the police were after him....
18. Перевод слова house House – дом, здание, жилище Перевод слова Apartment house – многоквартирный дом house arrest – домашний арест at John’s house – у Джона Get out of my House! Убирайтесь из моего дома! I lost my House keys. Я потерял ключи от дома. A snail carries its own House. Улитка несет свой дом на спине....
19. Значение идиомы old story [old story] {n.} An everyday occurrence; something that oftenhappens. Jane’s temper tantrums were an old story. It’s an oldstory when a woman divorces her husband for too much drinking....
20. Baby bear wants to live somewhere else The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of […]...
21. Every damn time Speaking of divorce (I was), this woman petitions the court for a divorce on the grounds that her husband “beats her.” The Judge, wanting every detail asked how often it was he beat the woman. “Every damn time your Honor,” she sighed, “Every damn time!”...
22. Writing a Story Xavier: How’s your Novel coming along? Sara: It’s not. I Abandoned it for now. I think I Bit off more than I can chew. Now, I’m working on a short story. Xavier: That sounds interesting. Who are the main Characters? Sara: I’m not sure yet. Character development is really important so I need to give […]...
23. Значение идиомы That’s the story of my life [That’s the story of my life…] Usually spoken when something goeswrong. I spent seven years writing a novel, but no publisher wantsto accept it. That’s the story of my life....
24. Значение идиомы dirty story [dirty story] {n. phr.} An improper or obscene story. Uncle Bill is much too fond of telling dirty stories in order to embarrass his friends....
25. It was a somber day in Disney land It was a somber day in Disney land, Mickey And Minnie were in divorce court.. The judge was about to make his decision he said ‘Im sorry mickey, I cant grant you a divorce based on your statement that Minnie has prominant teeth” Mickey retorted ” I DIDNT SAY SHE had prominent teeth, I SAID […]...
26. An old lady lived by herself in a small house An old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he […]...
27. Значение идиомы cock-and-bull story [cock-and-bull story] {n. phr.} An exaggerated or unbelievable story. “Stop feeding me such cock-and-bull stories,” the detective said to the suspect....
28. Перевод идиомы same old story, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: same old story Перевод: что-либо, что происходило таким же образом раньше Пример: It is always the same old story with my friend. He borrows money but he never wants to pay it back. С моим другом всегда одно и то же. Он занимает деньги, но никогда не хочет отдавать их....
29. There was this little boy who went in the whore house There was this little boy who went in the whore house with a dead frog on a leash. He went to the counter and asked the pimp for a whore with aids, the man knew he was young but the boy said “please mister, just give me a whore with aids, i have money thats […]...
30. Перевод идиомы make a long story short, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: make a long story short Перевод: короче говоря; укоротить историю, рассказ, опустив некоторые детали Пример: I had to make a long story short in order to finish my story and leave to catch my train home. Мне пришлось опустить некоторые детали своего рассказа, чтобы закончить его и успеть на свой поезд....
31. Перевод слова headache Headache – головная боль; проблема, трудность Перевод слова To suffer from headache – страдать головными болями a headache problem – трудная задача that’s not my headache – меня это не касается I’m starting to get a Headache. У меня начинает болеть голова. The city’s biggest Headache is traffic. Самой большой проблемой города является автомобильное движение. […]...
32. A robber was robbing a house A robber was robbing a house when he heard a voice. “Jesus is watching you!” “who’s there?” The robber said But no sound was heard. So he kept going and he heard it two more times when he spotted a parrot. “What’s your name,” the robber asked. “Cocodora” said the parrot. “Now, what kind of […]...
33. Значение идиомы make a long story short [make a long story short] {v. phr.} To summarize a lengthynarrative. “So, to make a long story short,” he said, “I made akilling on the stock market.” Compare: IN A NUTSHELL....
34. A judge asked a defendant to please stand A judge asked a defendant to please stand. “You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw.” From out in the audience a man shouted, “Lying bastard!” “Silence in the court!”, the judge shouted back to the man. He turned to the defendant and said, “You are also charged with killing a […]...
35. Перевод слова divorce Divorce – развод, расторжение брака Перевод слова Divorce by proxy – развод по доверенности to file for divorce – подавать на развод a divorce proceedings – бракоразводный процесс It is difficult to Divorce sport from politics. Трудно отделять спорт от политики. Their marriage ended in Divorce. Их брак закончился разводом. This famous actress has been […]...
36. Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can’t they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I don’t want them to know it....
37. A guy in a bar The bartender asks him “What’ll you have?”. The guy answers, “A scotch, please”. The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars”, to which he replies “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this”. A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, “You […]...
38. Значение идиомы eat one out of house and home [eat one out of house and home] {v. phr.} 1. To eat so much as tocause economic hardship. Our teenaged sons are so hungry all thetime that they may soon eat us out of house and home. 2. To overstayone’s welcome. We love Bob and Jane very much, but after two weekswe started to feel […]...
39. Finding a House to Buy I’m looking to buy a house and I want a Single-family home. I have been living in a Townhouse for two years and I am tired of having Common walls and very small Yards. My new house will have to have a lot more Square footage, a large Lot size, an Open floor plan, great […]...
40. Divorce decision “Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court judge said, “and I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.” “That’s very fair, your honor,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”...