Two guys were discussing popular family trends

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1. Three guys are discussing women Three guys are discussing women. “I like to watch a woman’s tits best,” the first guy says. The second says “I like to look at a woman’s ass.” He asks the third guy “What about you?”. “Me? I prefer to see the top of her head.”...
2. A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?” “Ten,” she replied. “What are their names?” he asked. “LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy,” she answered. “They’re all named LeRoy?” he asked “What if you want them […]...
3. Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding… “I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not.” His buddy replies, “Oh, there’s an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, […]...
4. Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. “Does your wife ever… well, you know… does she… well, let you do it doggie style?” asked one of the two. “Well, not exactly,” his friend replied, “She’s into the dog trick aspect of it.” “Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?” “Well… not exactly. More like […]...
5. A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, […]...
6. Four married guys go golfing Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place: First Guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second Guy: “That’s nothing, […]...
7. Marriage quotes 02 Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage […]...
8. Two men are discussing their lives Two men are discussing their lives. One says, “I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear.” The other one says, “I’m getting divorced for the same reasons.”...
9. Two men are discussing the age old question Two men are discussing the age old question: who enjoys sex more, the man or the woman? A woman walks by and listens in for awhile and then interrupts: “Listen you guys. You know when your ear itches and you put in your little finger and wiggle it around for awhile? Afterward, which feels better, […]...
10. Family Life – Семейная жизнь Family is very important for every person. It’s a special unit of society, which matters the most. The human nature has a need to always communicate, to have friends, partners and children, to share emotions and experience. So, loneliness is a bit unnatural for people. For this reasons everybody has a family. It isn’t surprising […]...
11. Three guys were sitting in a bar talking Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; “You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the […]...
12. Marriage quotes 03 There was a man who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married… and then it was too late!” Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. When a […]...
13. Marriage quotes 09 Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Marriage […]...
14. Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and […]...
15. A family – Семья When two persons are married, the man is called the husband; the woman becomes his wife. When a child is born in the family, the father and mother of the child are called parents. A family generally consists of a father, a mother and children — sons or daughters or both. The first born child […]...
16. Перевод слова popular Popular – популярный, народный, общедоступный Перевод слова Popular government – народное правительство Popular Front – Народный фронт at popular prices – по общедоступным ценам popular singer – любимый певец popular song – популярная песня Aspirin is a Popular analgesic. Аспирин – распространенное обезболивающее. The area is Popular with walkers. Этот район очень нравится любителям пеших […]...
17. Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up. Roberts looks around and asks, “Now, who is going to tell the wife?” They draw straws. Rippington, who […]...
18. Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He […]...
19. Marriage quotes 14 This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. – Groucho Marx We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that […]...
20. So there were two guys on a roof, pounding nails So there were two guys on a roof, pounding nails. One guy pounded a nail in, then picked up another. He was holding the nail upside down. He unexpectedly threw the nail away. He picked up another nail, right side up this time, and pounded this in. He eventually threw so many upside down nails […]...
21. Language Trends of the Future There are consistent trends in the past evolution of languages, and in all likelihood they will continue to change in the same fashion in the future. In 200 years, spoken French will have only one sound, a vowel. All consonants and gaps between words and sentences will disappear, leaving only an extended “Eauuuuuuuuuuuu…” Meaning will […]...
22. Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern. To Mike Callahan, the barkeep, Shandy said “Mike, I’ll be havin’ three whiskeys.” Callahan set up three glasses and began to pour. “Now, Timothy, it’s not the usual thing for you to ask for three whiskeys. It’s celebratin’, you are. “Ahh, ye know me […]...
23. Three newly incarcerated convicts are discussing how they Three newly incarcerated convicts are discussing how they will pass their time in jail. The first one pulls out a harmonica and says “I can play all my favorite songs on this.” The second takes out a deck of cards. “I can play poker with myself with these.” The third gets out a box of […]...
24. Going crazy with confusion A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, “How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?” He got the following reply. “Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then […]...
25. Значение семьи/ The Importance Of Family In Our Life На английском языке Перевод на русский язык The Importance Of Family In Our Life Значение семьи The role of family in our life are discussed throughout the whole history of human. First of all, it is important to know exactly what an idea of family is. Usually when we say “family”, we mean parents and […]...
26. These two guys are car pooling home from work one day These two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone’s front lawn. “Look”, he shouts “What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?” The […]...
27. Over my dead body! A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a few drinks, he suggested that they might have another try at marriage. His ex-wife sneered in reply, “Over my dead body!” He downed his drink and replied, “Well, I see you haven’t changed one little bit.”...
28. Family Problems Some people like big families, while others think that small families are better. As someone has rightly said: “The family is the nucleus of civilization”. A person’s upbringing and education starts in his or her family and it is in the family that values, norms and ideas are communicated from generation to generation. Families can […]...
29. Spotting Trends Heidi: You look very relaxed reading magazines in the middle of the workday. Tim: It’s my job. I’m Tasked with spotting new Trends. Heidi: And you do that by reading magazines with your feet up? Tim: Why not? I also Frequent places where Hipsters hang out, listening to their conversations and observing what they’re wearing, […]...
30. Marriage quotes 07 If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don’t stand in her way. In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it’s curtains! Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job […]...
31. Business Trends Today, I’m going to be giving you a brief Overview of the Trends that are likely to affect our Industry in the next 10 years. It’s difficult to Predict the Fads that affect how the General public thinks and behaves. However, by looking at recent Polls, we have a good idea about one area that […]...
32. Marriage quotes 08 Many a wife thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give. – Cass Daley Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties […]...
33. Two guys were out hunting, but they weren’t Two guys were out hunting, but they weren’t getting any ducks. “What do you think the problem is?” one man asked his companion. “I dunno,” came the reply, “Maybe we aren’t throwing the dog up high enough.”...
34. Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends. Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row! Judi: That’s nothing; last night I had over a hundred. Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. Judi: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy....
35. Proffessional Terms The pro quarterback was petitioning the court to have his recent marriage annulled. “On what grounds?” questioned the Judge, “This court does not take annulments lightly.” “Non-virginity,” replied the quarterback, “When I married her, I thought I was getting a tight end, but instead, I found that I had married a wide receiver.”...
36. Two guys are out hunting deer Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, “Did you see that?” The second guy says, “No.” “A bald eagle just flew over head.” “Oh.” A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, “Did you see that?” “No.” “There was a black bear walking on that hill over there.” “Oh.” A few […]...
37. Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates Could this herald the return of our resident wise man, Cunning Lin Gus? Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea. “I call my man ‘Eight,’ ” said the first woman, “Because he’s got eight inches, and we do it eight times a day.” The second woman said in response, “I call my […]...
38. Marriage quotes 01 Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence – a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s […]...
39. A man says to his wife A man says to his wife, “Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing.” Wife says, “I dont want to go.” Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se. Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says, “It tastes like sh*t. Man says, […]...
40. Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle god […]...