Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern

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1. A Soccer Match Shandy: Oh, that player just hit my boyfriend! Did you see that? That was definitely a Penalty. Giuseppe: No, I didn’t. I was watching the Goalie. The Referee isn’t doing anything. Shandy: I can’t believe it. Why isn’t the Coach talking to that referee? I’m sure the other player Deliberately kicked Fabio with his Cleats. […]...
2. Heated passions Mike and Keith are playing golf one hot Sunday afternoon. While approaching the sixteenth hole, they notice an old golfer teeing up by himself. The two friends stop and wait for the older golfer to finish his hole. After the old man drives the ball a considerable distance down the fairway, he collapses on the […]...
3. A man walks into a pub The following was contributed by Emil: A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman, “cor! I’ve just had my first blow-job and it was great! – I’ll have a large whiskey please, barman.” The man takes his whiskey and downs it. “Same again?” asks the barman. “Okay” […]...
4. Humor about Ireland 2 Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. “Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I’m afraid he’s goin’ to die.” “Shure, an’ why would he be dyin’?” asked the other. “Ah, he’s gotten so thin. You’re thin enough, and I’m thin – but by my soul, Micheal Hogan is […]...
5. A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder…the bartender looks up and says ” where the hell did you get that thing? The Parrot replies ” Over in Africa, there’s millions of them ” !!!!...
6. Slight confusion One night a police officer named Mike was working the grave-yard shift and he drove to his house around 3 A. M. in the morning. He opened the door to the bedroom quietly and took off his clothes in the dark, and got in bed with his wife. Then she said,”Honey, can you go over […]...
7. Перевод слова customer Customer – покупатель, клиент Перевод слова Customer service – служба работы с покупателями at customer’s discretion – на усмотрение заказчика potential customer – потенциальный клиент She is one of our best Customers. Она является одним из наших лучших клиентов. Poor Customer service has ruined the company’s reputation. Плохое обслуживание клиентов погубило репутацию компании. The Customer […]...
8. Перевод слова fourth Fourth – четвертый, четверть Перевод слова In the fourth form – в четвертом классе three fourths – три четверти fourth power – четвертая степень She drank a Fourth of the bottle. Она выпила четверть бутылки. I was going well and was lying Fourth. Я неплохо шел и был на четвертом месте. A guerrilla war has […]...
9. Значение идиомы stepped up [stepped up] {adj.} Carried on at a faster or more active rate;increased. To fill the increase in orders, the factory had tooperate at a stepped-up rate....
10. What to do to get golf Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued: First Guy: “Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second Guy: […]...
11. Tea as the Most Popular Drink in Britain Из топика Чай – самый популярный напиток в Британии, вы узнаете, что англичане предпочитают чай, а не кофе, столь популярный в Европе и Америке. Впервые чай появился в Великобритании в 17-ом веке, а сегодня модный ритуал “чаепитие в 5 часов вечера” проводят по всей Британии. Чай обязательно должен быть очень крепким, с молоком и сладостями. […]...
12. Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best… find a woman with whom he may “commiserate”. After a wild night of getting it on, it’s time for the young lady to leave. As she’s getting dressed, she and Mike are having a conversation. She says, “Lotsa guys want to […]...
13. Don’t arrest the judge A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, “Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn’t be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?” “That it is, “Irish […]...
14. Two guys were discussing popular family trends Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, “I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?” Leroy replied, “I’m not sure, What was her maiden name?”...
15. Learning to Read Music Mike: You have a great voice. You should join our Choir. Grace: I don’t know anything about music. I can’t even Read music. Mike: It’s not that hard. I could teach you. Look, this is a Piece we’re working on right now. Grace: What’s that weird thing at the beginning? Mike: That’s the Clef. It […]...
16. The barber was finishing a haircut The barber was finishing a haircut on a customer one day and started to apply some ‘Aftershave Lotion’ around his ears when the customer yelled, “Don’t put that crap on me! My wife says it smells like a French Whorehouse!” Another customer who was waiting replied, “Hey John, you can put the ‘Aftershave Lotion’ on […]...
17. Перевод слова spoon Spoon – ложка; черпать ложкой Перевод слова Horn spoon – ложка из рога dessert spoon – десертная ложка measuring spoon – мерная ложка to spoon off cream – снимать сливки He Spooned the ice cream into a bowl. Он наложил мороженое в чашку. I Spooned out some soup to each of the guests. Я налила […]...
18. Making Ethnically or Racially Offensive Remarks Mike: Did you hear what Dan said? He called me a Mick. What Decade is he living in? Patti: He’s just Ignorant. I’m sure he wasn’t trying to be Offensive. Mike: Well, I take offense. And To add insult to injury, did you hear what else he said? Patti: What? Mike: He said that he […]...
19. Значение идиомы greasy spoon [greasy spoon] {n.}, {informal} Any small, inexpensive restaurantpatronized by workers or people in a hurry; a place not noted for itsexcellence of cuisine or its decor. I won’t have time to eat lunchat the club today; I’ll just grab a sandwich at the local greasyspoon....
20. A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.” The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?” The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, […]...
21. Значение идиомы spoon-feed [spoon-feed] {v.} 1. To feed with a spoon. Mothers spoon-feedtheir babies. 2a. To make something too easy for. Bill’s mother spoon-fed him and never let him think for himself. Alice depended on her mother for all decisions because she had beenspoon-fed. 2b. To make too easy for someone. Somestudents want the teacher to spoon-feed the […]...
22. Значение идиомы on the house [on the house] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Paid for by the owner. Atthe opening of the new hotel, the champagne was on the house. Oscar was the first customer at the diner, so his lunch was on thehouse....
23. Tea is the Most Popular Drink in Britain – Чай – самый популярный напиток в Британии Everyone knows that tea is the most popular drink in Britain. It’s even more popular than coffee, which is favoured throughout Europe and America. The Dutch brought the first tea to Europe in 1610. But it was not until 1658 that the first advertisement for tea appeared in a London newspaper. At that time a […]...
24. Значение идиомы born with a silver spoon in one’s mouth [born with a silver spoon in one’s mouth] {adj. phr.} Born to wealth and comfort; provided from birth with everything wanted; born rich. The stranger’s conduct was that of a man who had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Compare: WELL-HEELED....
25. It’s a ladybug A customer was sitting in a bar having a few drinks when he noticed a tiny little spot on the wall that seemed to be moving. He called it to the bartender’s attention. He glanced at it and said, “It’s a ladybug.” After a moment of stunned silence the customer said, “Good Lord, what incredible […]...
26. Пословица / поговорка customer is always right – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: customer is always right Перевод: клиент всегда прав Пример: The sales clerks were trained that the customer is always right and they must never argue with a customer. Продавцов учили, что клиент всегда прав, и что они никогда не должны спорить с клиентом....
27. Being Socially Popular Rosa: Has the mail come yet? Grant: We didn’t get any mail today. Rosa: Damn it! Grant: What’s the matter? Rosa: I’m waiting for an invitation from Joanna to her birthday party. I heard that she’s having a big Bash and it’s going to be the party of the season. Grant: You’re Worked up over […]...
28. Перевод слова warm Warm – теплый, жаркий; нагревать, согревать Перевод слова Warm day – теплый день a warm embrace – теплые, дружеские объятия to warm up mutton – разогреть баранину The water is real Warm. Вода действительно теплая. Are you Warm enough? Вам достаточно тепло? Air rises when it Warms. Воздух поднимается вверх, когда он нагревается....
29. Fixing an ailment In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They […]...
30. The sales girl at the Pink Pussycat boutique The sales girl at the Pink Pussycat boutique didn’t bat an eye when the customer purchased an artificial vagina. “What are you going to use it for?” she asked. “None of your business,” answered the customer, beet red and throughly offended. “Calm down, buddy,” soothed the salesgirl. ” The only reason I’m asking is that […]...
31. Значение идиомы warm-up [warm-up] {n.} A period of exercise or practice in preparation fora game or other event. During the warm-up the baseball players werethrowing the ball around and running up and down the side of thefield. Before the television quiz program, there was a warm-up toprepare the contestants....
32. Значение идиомы warm out [warm out] {v. phr.} To learn through persistent questioning; drawout from. I finally wormed out of her the reason she broke off herengagement to Larry....
33. Значение идиомы warm the bench [warm the bench] {v. phr.}, {informal} To act as a substitute on anathletic team. Bill has been warming the bench for three footballseasons; he hopes that the coach will let him play this year. -[bench warmer] {n.}, {informal} A substitute player. Last year Tedwas only a bench warmer, but this year he is the team’s […]...
34. A dangerous animal The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in […]...
35. Shopping for Warm-Weather Clothes Spencer: I would love to see you in this Outfit: a Tank top and a Miniskirt. Lauren: No way! I wouldn’t look anything like that Mannequin. I’m too shy and I’d Make a fool of myself wearing such Revealing clothes. Spencer: That’s where you’re wrong. You would look great on the beach in that outfit […]...
36. Four married guys go golfing Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place: First Guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second Guy: “That’s nothing, […]...
37. Значение идиомы warm one’s blood [warm one’s blood] {v. phr.} To make you feel warm or excited. When the Bakers came to visit on a cold night, Mr. Harmon offeredthem a drink to warm their blood....
38. Перевод слова popular Popular – популярный, народный, общедоступный Перевод слова Popular government – народное правительство Popular Front – Народный фронт at popular prices – по общедоступным ценам popular singer – любимый певец popular song – популярная песня Aspirin is a Popular analgesic. Аспирин – распространенное обезболивающее. The area is Popular with walkers. Этот район очень нравится любителям пеших […]...
39. Shopping for Warm-Weather Clothes Spencer: I would love to see you in this Outfit: a Tank top and a Miniskirt. Lauren: No way! I wouldn’t look anything like that Mannequin. I’m too shy and I’d Make a fool of myself wearing such Revealing clothes. Spencer: That’s where you’re wrong. You would look great on the beach in that outfit […]...
40. Traveling to Less Popular Sites Vanessa: Put away that Guidebook. I want our vacation to be exciting and Unique, not Cookie cutter. Tourists all visit the same Sites. I want To explore and go to some places Off the beaten path. Justin: That would be fine except we’ve never traveled to Podville before and we don’t speak the language. How […]...