Three guys are in a plane, lost in fog

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1. Перевод слова planePlane — плоскость; самолет Перевод слова Axis plane — плоскость симметрии plane of projection — плоскость проекции to fly a plane — управлять самолетом I’m late for the Plane. Я опоздал на самолет. The superstitious man is on the same Plane as the savage. Суеверный человек находится на той же ступени развития, что и первобытный ... Читать далее...
2. Stuck in a planeGeorge Bushes, father Bush and son Bush, Bush, Jr., are on board a small two seater plane when suddenly George Senior, the pilot, parachutes out of the plane. Not knowing how to fly, National Guard Service or not, a plane George, Jr., grabs the radio. «Mayday, mayday! My Dad just jumped out of the plane!» ... Читать далее...
3. Lost and FoundAirport employee: Hello, Portland Airport, Lost and Found. Lucas: Hello. I was a passenger on a SunCal Airlines flight yesterday and I think I left my keys on the plane. Airport employee: I see. To Claim the item, you have to fill out a Claim form. What did you lose again? Some Luggage? You’ll need ... Читать далее...
4. There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the PopeThere was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death’s door, and said to her papal neighbour. ‘Father, surely you can do something about this…’ To which the Pope replied, ... Читать далее...
5. Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, oneThree guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He ... Читать далее...
6. Three guys enter a disabled swimming contestThree guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and «splash» they’re all in the pool. The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is ... Читать далее...
7. Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they wereThree guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and ... Читать далее...
8. Six people were on a planeSix people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3 children. The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes. The doctor yells out, » Save the children» The lawyer yells out «FUCK THE CHILDREN!» The priest yells out » ... Читать далее...
9. A small boy was lost at a large shopping mallA small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, «I’ve lost my dad!» The cop asked, «What’s he like?» The little boy replied, «Beer and women with big tits.»...
10. Jump out of the planeAn Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says » We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one ... Читать далее...
11. Chinese plane crashTime sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands. In a heroic dogfight, fought over international waters off the ... Читать далее...
12. Six guys were playing poker when Smith losesSix guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up. Roberts looks around and asks, «Now, who is going to tell the wife?» They draw straws. Rippington, who ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод сленгового выражения Get lost!, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: Get lost! Сленговое выражение: Get lost! груб. Перевод: Свали! Отвали! Отстань! Пошел вон! Пример: I’m so angry with you. Now get lost! Я так на тебя зол! Проваливай!...
14. Two guys were out hunting, but they weren’tTwo guys were out hunting, but they weren’t getting any ducks. «What do you think the problem is?» one man asked his companion. «I dunno,» came the reply, «Maybe we aren’t throwing the dog up high enough.»...
15. Значение идиомы get lost[get lost] {v. phr.}, {slang} Go away! — Used as a command. Getlost! I want to study. John told Bert to get lost. Compare: DROPDEAD....
16. Three guys are discussing womenThree guys are discussing women. «I like to watch a woman’s tits best,» the first guy says. The second says «I like to look at a woman’s ass.» He asks the third guy «What about you?». «Me? I prefer to see the top of her head.»...
17. Two guys were discussing popular family trendsTwo guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, «I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?» Leroy replied, «I’m not sure, What was her maiden name?»...
18. Two guys are out hunting deerTwo guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, «Did you see that?» The second guy says, «No.» «A bald eagle just flew over head.» «Oh.» A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, «Did you see that?» «No.» «There was a black bear walking on that hill over there.» «Oh.» A few ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы no love lost[no love lost] {n. phr.} Bad feeling; ill will. Bob and Dickboth wanted to be elected captain of the team, and there was no lovelost between them. There was no love lost between the sales andthe accounting departments....
20. Lost in a balloonTwo hobbyists get into their balloon for an excursion. After a while, the wind unexpectedly picks up, and the balloon goes out of control. The two balloonists, with great effort, manage to keep the balloon stable, upright, and away from power lines. But they are lost. With more effort, they get the balloon near the ... Читать далее...
21. Two Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expeditionTwo Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expedition, and by accident one was shot by the other. His worried companion got him out of the deep woods, into the car, and off to the nearest hospital. «Well, Doc,» he inquired anxiously, «is he going to make it?» «It’s tough,» said the doctor. «He’d ... Читать далее...
22. Three men die in a plane crash and are waitingThree men die in a plane crash and are waiting to enter heaven. St. Peter asks the first man, «What did you do on Earth?» Man #1: I was a doctor. St. P.: Go right through those pearly gates. St. P.: And what did you do on Earth? Man #2: I was a school teacher. ... Читать далее...
23. Dating Nice Guys and Bad BoysJack: I’ve had it. I’m going to start Treating women like dirt. I’d get more dates. Alison: What brought this on? Jack: I Got dumped again by a woman who thinks I’m too nice – too nice! She says she wants to be with someone who’s more Assertive and Unpredictable. She didn’t say it In ... Читать далее...
24. Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming weddingTwo Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding… «I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not.» His buddy replies, «Oh, there’s an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, ... Читать далее...
25. Blind man and guide dog kicked off plane; passengers follow in supportUsually airline passengers side with flight attendants when it comes to safety, but in the case of a US Airways flight Wednesday night, passengers rallied around a blind man and his guide dog and disembarked en masse. All 35 passengers on US Airways Flight 4384 walked off the plane after Albert Rizzi, a blind man ... Читать далее...
26. There was three guys, one with a rubberThere was three guys, one with a rubber dick, one with a wooden dick, and one with a nine foot dick. The guy with the rubber dick couldn’t have sex because it wasn’t hard. The guy with the wooden dick couldn’t have sex because the other person would get splinters. Finally, the third guy with ... Читать далее...
27. Thirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came onThirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came on, indicating to the flight attendants that breakfast could be served. One of the passengers, upset because he was awakened, growled, «Who turned on the fucking lights!» «Oh, no sir,» the nearest flight attendant replied. «Those are the breakfast lights. You slept through the ‘fucking ... Читать далее...
28. Перевод идиомы a lost cause, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: a lost cause Перевод: безнадежное дело Пример: Trying to change the work habits of our secretary is a lost cause. She will never change. Пытаться изменить рабочие привычки нашего секретаря — это безнадежное дело. Она никогда не поменяется....
29. Lost all my luggageMcAteer arrived at J. F. K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. «No,» replied McAteer. «I’ve lost all me luggage!» «How’d that happen?» «The cork fell out,» said the Irishman....
30. Two guys go huntingTwo guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe ... Читать далее...
31. Пословица / поговорка he who hesitates is lost — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: he who hesitates is lost Перевод: кто колеблется — тот проигрывает Эквивалент в русском языке: промедление смерти подобно Пример: Call that girl and ask her out. Call her right now. He who hesitates is lost. Позвони этой девушке и пригласи ее на свидание. Кто колеблется — тот проигрывает....
32. Four married guys go golfingFour married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place: First Guy: «You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.» Second Guy: «That’s nothing, ... Читать далее...
33. So there were two guys on a roof, pounding nailsSo there were two guys on a roof, pounding nails. One guy pounded a nail in, then picked up another. He was holding the nail upside down. He unexpectedly threw the nail away. He picked up another nail, right side up this time, and pounded this in. He eventually threw so many upside down nails ... Читать далее...
34. A plane was taking off from Kennedy AirportA plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, «Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth ... Читать далее...
35. These two guys had just gotten divorcesThese two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s ... Читать далее...
36. Flying in the planeSue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, «No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.» The years ... Читать далее...
37. These two guys are car pooling home from work one dayThese two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone’s front lawn. «Look», he shouts «What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?» The ... Читать далее...
38. Three guys were sitting in a bar talkingThree guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; «You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод идиомы make up for lost time, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: make up for lost time Перевод: делать что-либо быстро, из-за потерянного раннее времени Пример: We wasted several days before we started to prepare for our holiday so we had to work hard to make up for lost time. Мы потеряли несколько дней, перед тем, как начали готовиться к отпуску, поэтому нам пришлось делать все ... Читать далее...
40. Two guys are driving through Texas whenTwo guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, «Why’d you do that? The trooper says, «You’re in ... Читать далее...