Thirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came on

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1. The fucking lights Tith the sun beginning to rise, the cabin of the jetliner was suddenly illuminated. “Who turned on the fucking lights?” a male passenger, who had been surly since boarding, snarled at a stewardess. The girl had had enough of this particular character. “These are the breakfast lights, sir,” she answered with forced sweetness. “The fucking […]...
2. Blind man and guide dog kicked off plane; passengers follow in support Usually airline passengers side with flight attendants when it comes to safety, but in the case of a US Airways flight Wednesday night, passengers rallied around a blind man and his guide dog and disembarked en masse. All 35 passengers on US Airways Flight 4384 walked off the plane after Albert Rizzi, a blind man […]...
3. I am called a Princess The United Airline’s passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that […]...
4. Getting In-Flight Service I pushed the Call button to get the attention of the Flight attendant. Flight attendant: Yes? What can I do for you? Hal: It’s very cold in the Cabin. Is it possible to get a Blanket? Flight attendant: We’re out of blankets, but here’s a Pillow. Hal: Okay, thanks. I was asleep during the Meal […]...
5. Перевод слова cabin Cabin – будка, каюта, хижина Перевод слова First-class cabin – каюта первого класса driver’s cabin – кабина водителя crew cabin – кабина экипажа We were snug in the Cabin. Мы уютно устроились в салоне. He repaired to his Cabin in the woods. Он возвратился в свою хижину в лесу. The Cabin was compact but perfectly […]...
6. Перевод слова thirty Thirty – тридцать, тридцатый Перевод слова He is thirty – ему тридцать лет chapter thirty – тридцатая глава about thirty guests – около тридцати гостей She is on the sunny side of Thirty. Ей еще нет тридцати. He had sported away Thirty thousand lives. Он просто так отправил на смерть тридцать тысяч людей. These Thirty […]...
7. English vs Ebonics English: This is your Captain speaking, we have leveled off and are cruising at flight level three five zero, feel free to move about the cabin, also the First Officer has turned off the no smoking sign, the flight attendants will be serving cocktails and refreshments momentarily, so just sit back and enjoy the rest […]...
8. Using Electronics on Airplanes Flight attendant: I’m sorry, sir, but all passengers need to turn off their Portable electronic devices for Takeoff, so you’ll need to turn off your Laptop. Alec: I just need to finish one last email. Flight attendant: Sir, we can’t take off until you turn that computer off. Alec: Fine. It’s off. Why all the […]...
9. Airport Announcements I was walking through the airport to Gate 11 to catch my flight when I heard this announcement: “Attention passengers on English Air flight 232 to Boise. The Departure gate Has been changed. The flight will now be leaving from Gate 26.” That was my flight! I looked at the Flight information monitors, turned around, […]...
10. Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant approached Muhammad Ali and asked that he fasten his seat belt. “Superman don’t need no seat belt,” Ali growled. “Well, Superman,” the stewardess replied, “don’t need no airplane!”...
11. Talking on a plane The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual event that took place during a flight. As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. “Coming up on the right, you can […]...
12. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth […]...
13. Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a whisky & soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like drink. The minister replied […]...
14. Flight attendant В топике Стюардесса я делюсь своей мечтой – стать стюардессой. Эта профессия привлекает меня потому, что я смогу посмотреть новые страны и познакомиться с людьми разных национальностей. Для того чтобы стать стюардессой, нужно хорошо знать английский язык. Кроме того, стюардесса должна быть всегда доброжелательна и вежлива с пассажирами, уметь подать еду и напитки и еще […]...
15. An easy solution On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.” Not wanting to argue […]...
16. Значение идиомы according to one’s own lights [according to one’s own lights] {adv. phr.} In accordance with one’s conscience or inclinations. Citizens should vote according to their own lights....
17. A couple gets married, and thirty years later they’re A couple gets married, and thirty years later they’re in the same hotel, in the same room. She takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed, and spreads her legs. Her husband starts to cry. She says, “What’s the matter?” He says, “Thirty years ago I couldn’t wait to eat it. Now it […]...
18. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “В самолете (on a plane), в поезде (on a train), в автобусе (on a bus)” По-английски Перевод на русский В самолете (On a plane) Flight attendant: Hello! May I have your boarding pass, please? Стюардесса: Здравствуйте! Могу ли я взглянуть на Ваш посадочный талон, пожалуйста? Alex Volgin: Hello! Here you are. Алекс Волгин: Здравствуйте! Вот, пожалуйста. Flight attendant: Your seat number is 18C. This way, please. Your seat is over […]...
19. Long Ago, a Pilot Landed on an Uptown Street. That’s Where the Bar Was A plane sat on 191st Street in 1956 after its wings were removed for shipment. The pilot landed the craft on St. Nicholas Avenue, rear, as part of a barroom bet. Surprise airplane landings always make headlines. Who will forget Capt. Chesley Sullenberger steering a US Airways jetliner onto the Hudson River in 2009? Then […]...
20. Chinese plane crash Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands. In a heroic dogfight, fought over international waters off the […]...
21. Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. “This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?” “No, madam,” replied the attendant. “That one’s called a mirror.”...
22. Murphy’s Travel Laws Murphy Laws For Frequent Flyers No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed. […]...
23. Dealing with trouble A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The “disturbance” turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What’s more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too. Said the policeman, “I’ll bet that you’re also an escape artist-probably better than […]...
24. Taking Minutes of a Meeting I was Absent at last month’s meeting, so imagine my surprise when I found out that I had been Elected the committee’s Secretary! As part of my duties, I have To take minutes at each meeting. Taking minutes means I have to pay attention and try my best To transcribe what each person says, or […]...
25. Chicago Jokes A man was telling his co-worker one day that the company was transferring him to Chicago. He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there. When asked why, he replied that he was just too afraid of all the crime even though he would be passing up a big salary […]...
26. Значение идиомы turn to [turn to] {v.} To begin working with much energy. All the boysturned to and cleaned the cabin in a few minutes. Mary turned toand studied for the test. Syn.: FALL TO....
27. Значение идиомы minutes of the meeting [minutes of the meeting] {n. phr.} The notes taken by the recordingsecretary; of an official body or an association recording of what wassaid and transacted during the given session. “Shall we accept theminutes of our last meeting as read by the secretary?” the chairmanasked....
28. Travelling by Plane – Путешествие на самолете No wonder that one of the latest means of travelling is travelling by plane. Nowadays people mostly travel by air. It combines both comfort and speed and you will reach the place of destination very quickly. No doubt, travelling by air is the most convenient and comfortable means of travelling. But if you are airsick […]...
29. Humor about Irish Pubs (Setting the scene, Ballymun outside of Dublin has a reputation as a rough spot) Fifteen minutes into Aer Lingus Flight EI109 from Madrid to Dublin the Plane encounters a serious problem with the Instrument landing systems. In a Fit of Panic, Paddy the Pilot turns to his co-Pilot and says. “Jazus Mick…Well have to turn […]...
30. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “В самолете” (On board the plane) – Excuse me. Is it possible to have another blanket, please? I am a little cold. – Sure. Would you like just one or two? – One will be enough I think. – OK. I’ll be right back with your blanket. Would you like anything else? – Yes. Can I get something to drink too? […]...
31. Catching the bear Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran […]...
32. Types of Hotels and Accommodations Jamal: Have you found a place for us to stay in Chicago? Erin: I’m still Exploring the options. Instead of a Run-of-the-mill chain hotel, I thought we could do something different. Jamal: How different? Erin: I thought we might stay in a Cabin near the lake. Jamal: A cabin? That sounds a little too rustic […]...
33. Problems during flight The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight […]...
34. There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death’s door, and said to her papal neighbour. ‘Father, surely you can do something about this…’ To which the Pope replied, […]...
35. In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, “Just what the hell you are doing?” “Well,” said the guy, “you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you […]...
36. Перевод слова upset Upset – расстройство, огорчение; выводить из равновесия, опрокидывать Перевод слова Mental upset – психическое расстройство to upset a boat – опрокинуть лодку a bit of an upset with his father – небольшая размолвка с отцом to upset everything in the house – перевернуть все в доме He was Upset but never let it show. Он […]...
37. When ‘thirty-seven-fifty’ for your wine means $3750 You’re at a restaurant and can’t be bothered with looking at the wine list, so why not ask the waiter for a suggestion, right? But for one New Jersey man, this move led to an expensive misunderstanding. According to NJ. com, customer Joe Lentini was at Bobby Flay Steak in Atlantic City, N. J. when […]...
38. How to the nearest land!? The ship is sinking. Panic, screams and confusion. One of the passengers turns to the captain: – How to the nearest land!? – Two miles. – And in what direction to swim!? – Down.....
39. A midget walks into the doctors and says A midget walks into the doctors and says, “Doc, I’ve got these fucking itchy balls and I can’t do anything to stop ’em itching”. The Doc says, “I can see the problem and I’ll fix it for ya” So the Doc pulls out a pair of scissors and tells the Midget to close his eyes. […]...
40. You Can Never Really Go Back You Can Never Really Go Back There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table that morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, “Just think, honey, we’ve been married for 50 years.” “Yeah,” she replied, “Fifty years ago this very day, we were sitting […]...