There was this little boy who went in the whore house

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1. A man was looking for a cheap prostitute in a brothelA man was looking for a cheap prostitute in a brothel. He went up to the pimp, and asked him what he had. The pimp showed him a blonde whore for $50, but she was far too expensive. The pimp then showed him a brunette for $10, but she was also too expensive. Finally the ... Читать далее...
2. A blind guy goes into a whore houseA blind guy goes into a whore house. A girl takes him upstairs and starts giving him a blowjob. He says to her, «Excuse me, aren’t you Karen Carlton, and didn’t you go to Cardozo High School in Detroit?» «Yes. How’d you know?» «I never forget a face.»...
3. A crowd had gathered around a whore andA crowd had gathered around a whore and they were about to stone her. Jesus stepped in front of her and said: «Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.» From the back of the crowd came this stone which hit Jesus on the head and knocked him down. Jesus turned and looked ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова frogFrog — лягушка Перевод слова Wood frog — древесная лягушка young frog — лягушонок the frog’s tongue — язычок лягушки The Frog swallowed the fly whole. Лягушка проглотила муху целом. Frogs croak. Лягушки квакают. The Frog plopped back into the pond. Лягушка шлепнулась обратно в пруд....
5. An old lady lived by herself in a small houseAn old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he ... Читать далее...
6. A woman walks into a pet storeA woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, «I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.» «No worries,» replies the clerk. ... Читать далее...
7. A necessary conditionThere were three little boys visiting their grandparents. The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, «Can you make a sound like a frog, Grandpappy? Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds, «No, I don’t really want to make the sound of a frog now.» So, the second little boy comes out and ... Читать далее...
8. A talking FrogA man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, «If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.» He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, «If you kiss me and turn me back ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы put one’s house in order[put one’s house in order] or [set one’s house in order] {v. phr.}To arrange your affairs in good order. Grandfather knew he wouldnot live long and set his house in order. When Mr. Black died, hislawyer helped the widow put her house in order....
10. Biologist experimentThere was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says «Jump frog, jump!». The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: ‘Frog with 4 legs — jumps 2 feet’. Next he chops ... Читать далее...
11. A little girl came running into the house cryingA little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. «Why do you want cider?» asked Mom. «To take the pain away,» sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little ... Читать далее...
12. Rooms in a HouseI don’t like cats. That’s not really true. I like cats, but they don’t like me. Last week, my friend Sara asked me To babysit her cat for two days while she was out of town. Normally, I would have said no, but she was In a jam, so I said okay. As I said, ... Читать далее...
13. Welfare officeA young man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, «Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job. The man behind the counter replied, «Your timing is amazing. We’ve just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова counterCounter — конторка, прилавок; счетчик Перевод слова To clear counter — сбрасывать счетчик counter counts up — счетчик работает на сложение check-out counter — контрольно-кассовый пункт A shopman was at the Counter. За прилавком стоял продавец. Goods are sold and money paid over the Counter. Товары продаются и оплачиваются у прилавка. «Good morning,» said the ... Читать далее...
15. Ghosts in a White HouseOne night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington’s ghost in the White House. «George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?» Clinton asked. «Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,» advised George. The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. «Tom, ... Читать далее...
16. Mister Smith rushes into the maternity wardMister Smith rushes into the maternity ward, «What’s wrong? What’s the emergency?» «Oh, Mister Smith, your child was just born and I have some terrible news for you. It’s disfigured.» «Well, how bad is it? Can I see?» «Follow me, sir.» They head down a restricted corridor and come to the first door. Inside, in ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы house[house] See: BOARDING HOUSE REACH, BRING DOWN THE HOUSE, PUN HOUSE, HASH HOUSE, KEEP HOUSE, ON THE HOUSE, PARISH HOUSE, PEOPLE WHO LIVE INGLASS HOUSES SHOULD NOT THROW STONES, PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES orPLAGUE O’ BOTH YOUR HOUSES, PUT ONE’S HOUSE IN ORDER or SET ONE’SHOUSE TN ORDER....
18. Finding a House to BuyI’m looking to buy a house and I want a Single-family home. I have been living in a Townhouse for two years and I am tired of having Common walls and very small Yards. My new house will have to have a lot more Square footage, a large Lot size, an Open floor plan, great ... Читать далее...
19. Finding a House to BuyI’m looking to buy a house and I want a Single-family home. I have been living in a Townhouse for two years and I am tired of having Common walls and very small Yards. My new house will have to have a lot more Square footage, a large Lot size, an Open floor plan, great ... Читать далее...
20. Another ethnic jokeA man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, «What a Pollack.» The Polish man said, «I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew.» ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод слова AIDSAIDS — СПИД Перевод слова An AIDS carrier — носитель вируса СПИДа to contract AIDS — подхватить СПИД National AIDS Trust Национальное управление по контролю за распространением СПИДа (США) There is still no cure for AIDS. До сих пор нет лекарства от СПИДа. Происхождение слова AIDS Слово является аббревиатурой от Aquired Immune Deficiency Syndrom (синдром ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова screwScrew — шуруп, винт, гайка; завинчивать Перевод слова To screw on the cap — навинчивать крышку to ease off screw — ослаблять винт adjustable screw-wrench — раздвижной гаечный ключ The lid Screws onto the jar. Эта крышка навинчивается на банку. Screw the lid on clockwise. Закрутите крышку по часовой стрелке. Try and undo the Screw ... Читать далее...
23. Перевод слова houseHouse — дом, здание, жилище Перевод слова Apartment house — многоквартирный дом house arrest — домашний арест at John’s house — у Джона Get out of my House! Убирайтесь из моего дома! I lost my House keys. Я потерял ключи от дома. A snail carries its own House. Улитка несет свой дом на спине....
24. Перевод слова MisterMister — господин, сэр, мистер Перевод слова Hey, Mister! Эй, мистер! Don’t Mister me. Не употребляйте слово «мистер», обращаясь ко мне. Thanks, Mister. Спасибо, мистер....
25. A man was driving through West VirginiaA man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to. He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said, «I’m moving here from the city, what do you guys do around here?» The men answered, «Go hunt’n, kill things, ‘n screw». He then asked, «What do you hunt and kill?» ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы little frog in a big pond[little frog in a big pond] or [small frog in a big pond] {n. phr.}An unimportant person in a large group or organization. In a largecompany, even a fairly successful man is likely to feel like a littlefrog in a big pond. When Bill transferred to a larger high school, he found himself a small ... Читать далее...
27. A robber was robbing a houseA robber was robbing a house when he heard a voice. «Jesus is watching you!» «who’s there?» The robber said But no sound was heard. So he kept going and he heard it two more times when he spotted a parrot. «What’s your name,» the robber asked. «Cocodora» said the parrot. «Now, what kind of ... Читать далее...
28. Thank you..thank you very much!Father O’Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the ... Читать далее...
29. Feminist Fairytale!Feminist’s Fairytale!! Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, «I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and will turn back into a prince and then we can ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы bring down the house[bring down the house] {v. phr.}, {informal} To start an audience laughing or clapping enthusiastically. The principal’s story was funny in itself and also touched their loyalties, so it brought down the house. The President made a fine speech which brought down the house....
31. Two story houseA man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, «Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce.» «Because,» the man says,»I live in a two-story house.» The Judge replies, «What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about ... Читать далее...
32. Remember a childA young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. «Pardon me,» she said, «I’m sorry if my ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы eat one out of house and home[eat one out of house and home] {v. phr.} 1. To eat so much as tocause economic hardship. Our teenaged sons are so hungry all thetime that they may soon eat us out of house and home. 2. To overstayone’s welcome. We love Bob and Jane very much, but after two weekswe started to feel ... Читать далее...
34. Using nails on a houseThese two newfies are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away. This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over ... Читать далее...
35. The other day my house caught fireThe other day my house caught fire. The insurance agent said, «Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?» I said, «Fire and theft.» Insurance agent frowned. «Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.» Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the house ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы have a screw loose[have a screw loose] {v. phr,}, {slang} To act in a strange way; tobe foolish. Now I know he has a screw loose — he stole a police carthis time. He was a smart man but had a screw loose and peoplethought him odd....
37. Значение идиомы keep house[keep house ] {v. phr.} To do the necessary things in ahousehold; do the cooking and cleaning. Since their mother died, Mary and her brother keep house for their father....
38. Значение идиомы on the house[on the house] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Paid for by the owner. Atthe opening of the new hotel, the champagne was on the house. Oscar was the first customer at the diner, so his lunch was on thehouse....
39. Greetings prospective White House interns!Greetings prospective White House interns! This year, our program is heading into its 69th year of bringing America’s best and brightest to the Nation’s Capitol to help the «Head Man» do his job. We expect that 1998 will be the most exciting one yet! Why, you might be asking yourself, do I want to be ... Читать далее...
40. Having an Open HouseKyoko: We’re not supposed to be here. I think we should leave and let our Real estate agent hold the Open house without us Looking over her shoulder. Ernie: We’re not looking over her shoulder. I just want to sit in this car to see how many people go in and out. Kyoko: You know, ... Читать далее...