There was this little boy who went in the whore house

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1. A blind guy goes into a whore house A blind guy goes into a whore house. A girl takes him upstairs and starts giving him a blowjob. He says to her, “Excuse me, aren’t you Karen Carlton, and didn’t you go to Cardozo High School in Detroit?” “Yes. How’d you know?” “I never forget a face.”...
2. A crowd had gathered around a whore and A crowd had gathered around a whore and they were about to stone her. Jesus stepped in front of her and said: “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.” From the back of the crowd came this stone which hit Jesus on the head and knocked him down. Jesus turned and looked […]...
3. A woman walks into a pet store A woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, “I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.” “No worries,” replies the clerk. […]...
4. Значение идиомы in one’s shell [in one’s shell] or [into one’s shell] {adv.} or {adj. phr.},{informal} In or into bashfulness; into silence; not sociable;unfriendly. After Mary’s mother scolded her, she went into hershell. The teacher tried to get Rose to talk to her, but shestayed in her shell. Contrast: OUT OF ONE’S SHELL....
5. Перевод слова shell Shell – раковина, скорлупа; очищать Перевод слова Snail shell – раковина улитки chickens in the shell – невылупившиеся птенцы to shell an egg – очистить яйцо Never buy eggs with cracked Shells. Никогда не покупайте яйца с треснувшей скорлупой. Her normally shy son has come out of his Shell. Ее обычно замкнутый сын вышел из […]...
6. Biologist experiment There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says “Jump frog, jump!”. The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: ‘Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet’. Next he chops […]...
7. Перевод слова frog Frog – лягушка Перевод слова Wood frog – древесная лягушка young frog – лягушонок the frog’s tongue – язычок лягушки The Frog swallowed the fly whole. Лягушка проглотила муху целом. Frogs croak. Лягушки квакают. The Frog plopped back into the pond. Лягушка шлепнулась обратно в пруд....
8. Значение идиомы out of one’s shell [out of one’s shell] {adv. phr.}, {informal} Out of one’sbashfulness or silence; into friendly conversation. – Usually usedafter “come”. John wouldn’t come out of his shell and talk to theboys and girls at the party. The other girls tried to draw Ellaout of her shell, but without success. Contrast: IN ONE’S SHELL....
9. Перевод слова counter Counter – конторка, прилавок; счетчик Перевод слова To clear counter – сбрасывать счетчик counter counts up – счетчик работает на сложение check-out counter – контрольно-кассовый пункт A shopman was at the Counter. За прилавком стоял продавец. Goods are sold and money paid over the Counter. Товары продаются и оплачиваются у прилавка. “Good morning,” said the […]...
10. A talking Frog A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back […]...
11. Перевод слова screw Screw – шуруп, винт, гайка; завинчивать Перевод слова To screw on the cap – навинчивать крышку to ease off screw – ослаблять винт adjustable screw-wrench – раздвижной гаечный ключ The lid Screws onto the jar. Эта крышка навинчивается на банку. Screw the lid on clockwise. Закрутите крышку по часовой стрелке. Try and undo the Screw […]...
12. Перевод слова AIDS AIDS – СПИД Перевод слова An AIDS carrier – носитель вируса СПИДа to contract AIDS – подхватить СПИД National AIDS Trust Национальное управление по контролю за распространением СПИДа (США) There is still no cure for AIDS. До сих пор нет лекарства от СПИДа. Происхождение слова AIDS Слово является аббревиатурой от Aquired Immune Deficiency Syndrom (синдром […]...
13. A necessary condition There were three little boys visiting their grandparents. The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, “Can you make a sound like a frog, Grandpappy? Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds, “No, I don’t really want to make the sound of a frog now.” So, the second little boy comes out and […]...
14. Значение идиомы little frog in a big pond [little frog in a big pond] or [small frog in a big pond] {n. phr.}An unimportant person in a large group or organization. In a largecompany, even a fairly successful man is likely to feel like a littlefrog in a big pond. When Bill transferred to a larger high school, he found himself a small […]...
15. Rooms in a House I don’t like cats. That’s not really true. I like cats, but they don’t like me. Last week, my friend Sara asked me To babysit her cat for two days while she was out of town. Normally, I would have said no, but she was In a jam, so I said okay. As I said, […]...
16. Feminist Fairytale! Feminist’s Fairytale!! Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, “I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and will turn back into a prince and then we can […]...
17. An old lady lived by herself in a small house An old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he […]...
18. Our bright childhood 10 year old Timmy comes home from daycare and tells his mom that he thinks his babysitter is gay. “Whatever makes you think THAT?!!?” says mom. Timmy replies, “Because his dick tasted like shit!”...
19. Значение идиомы hell [hell] See: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGHWATER, HELL-ON-WHEELS, LIKE HELL, TO HELL WITH, UNTIL HELL FREEZESOVER, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER....
20. Значение идиомы have a screw loose [have a screw loose] {v. phr,}, {slang} To act in a strange way; tobe foolish. Now I know he has a screw loose – he stole a police carthis time. He was a smart man but had a screw loose and peoplethought him odd....
21. Значение идиомы eat one out of house and home [eat one out of house and home] {v. phr.} 1. To eat so much as tocause economic hardship. Our teenaged sons are so hungry all thetime that they may soon eat us out of house and home. 2. To overstayone’s welcome. We love Bob and Jane very much, but after two weekswe started to feel […]...
22. Значение идиомы screw up one’s courage [screw up one’s courage] or [pluck up one’s courage] {v. phr.} Toforce yourself to be brave. The small boy screwed up his courageand went upstairs in the dark. When his father came home in a badmood, it took Pete some time to screw up his courage and ask him for adollar. Compare: WHISTLE IN THE […]...
23. A man was looking for a cheap prostitute in a brothel A man was looking for a cheap prostitute in a brothel. He went up to the pimp, and asked him what he had. The pimp showed him a blonde whore for $50, but she was far too expensive. The pimp then showed him a brunette for $10, but she was also too expensive. Finally the […]...
24. Capitalist and Socialist Hell A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the guard, “What […]...
25. Значение идиомы under the counter [under the counter] {adv. phr.}, {informal} Secretly. That book has been banned, but there is one place you canget it under the counter. The liquor dealer was arrested forselling beer under the counter to teenagers. – Also used like anadjective, with hyphens. During World War II, some stores keptscarce things hidden for under-the-counter-sales to good […]...
26. Nature of Hell A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.” Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when […]...
27. Значение идиомы a hell of [a hell of] a [or one hell of a] {adj. or adv. phr.}, {informal} Extraordinary; very. He made a hell of a shot during the basketball game. Max said seven months was a hell of a time to have to wait for a simple visa. The fall Max took left one hell of a bruise […]...
28. Перевод слова hell Hell – ад, преисподня; черт (ругательство) Перевод слова To make smb.’s life a hell – превратить чью-л. жизнь в ад to suffer through hell – переносить муки ада oh hell! – черт возьми! hell of a way – чертовски далеко Who the Hell are you? Кто ты такой, черт побери? To Hell with the flaming […]...
29. A woman walks into her accountant’s office and A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks […]...
30. A man was driving through West Virginia A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to. He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said, “I’m moving here from the city, what do you guys do around here?” The men answered, “Go hunt’n, kill things, ‘n screw”. He then asked, “What do you hunt and kill?” […]...
31. Значение идиомы big frog in a small pond [big frog in a small pond] {n. phr.}, {informal} An important person in a small place or position; someone who is respected and honored in a small company, school, or city; a leader in a small group. As company president, he had been a big frog in a small pond, but he was not so […]...
32. Mrs. Jones is having her house painted Mrs. Jones is having her house painted, and her husband comes home from work and leans against the freshly painted wall. The next day, she says to the painter, “You wanna see where my husband put his hand last night?” He sighs and says, “Look, lady, I got a tough day’s work ahead of me. […]...
33. Значение идиомы screw around [screw around] {v. phr.}, {vulgar}, {avoidable} To hang around idlywithout accomplishing anything, to loaf about, to beat or hack around. You guys are no longer welcome here; all you do is screw around allday....
34. 12 Year Old Boy Collects 160,000 Plastic Bottles After School To Raise Money For Orphans Orphans, whose parents died of AIDS, play a game at the Zhonghua Red Ribbon Home, an orphanage Sun Huixi collected bottles to help build. Despite the fact this heart-warming act took place a few years ago now, the then 12 year-old schoolboy Sun Huixi didn’t receive the recognition he deserved, so we want to highlight […]...
35. Finding a House to Buy I’m looking to buy a house and I want a Single-family home. I have been living in a Townhouse for two years and I am tired of having Common walls and very small Yards. My new house will have to have a lot more Square footage, a large Lot size, an Open floor plan, great […]...
36. Finding a House to Buy I’m looking to buy a house and I want a Single-family home. I have been living in a Townhouse for two years and I am tired of having Common walls and very small Yards. My new house will have to have a lot more Square footage, a large Lot size, an Open floor plan, great […]...
37. Fulfilling a promise A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter. Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, “You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?” She […]...
38. The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife were shopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the man’s oldest friend bumped into him. Eyeing the curvaceous blonde bending over the counter to try on a necklace, the friend asked “How in the hell did YOU land a wife like that?” The old man […]...
39. Looking to buy a frog A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?” The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. […]...
40. Welfare office A young man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, “Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job. The man behind the counter replied, “Your timing is amazing. We’ve just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his […]...