The wrong definition

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1. The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacherThe congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher to began his sermon when two masked men burst into the church and said «Whoever is not willing to take a bullet for Jesus better leave now.» More than half of the congregation jumped up and ran out the door. The two men took off their ... Читать далее...
2. An unfortunate coincidenceOne day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. «Reverend,» she said, «I have a problem—my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?» «I have an idea,» said the minister. «Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод идиомы Bible Belt, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: Bible Belt Перевод: Библейский пояс — область США (главным образом, Юг и Средний Запад), где сильны религиозные традиции, и доминирует протестантский фундаментализм Пример: You shouldn’t even try to show a film about sexual perversity in the Bible Belt. Не следует даже пытаться показывать фильм о сексуальных извращениях в Библейском поясе....
4. After church on Sunday morning, a young boyAfter church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, «Mom, I’ve decided I’m going to be a minister when I grow up. «That’s okay with us,» the mother said, «But what made you decide to be a minister?» «Well,» the boy replied, «I’ll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, ... Читать далее...
5. The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermonThe minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out. He couldn’t concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone ... Читать далее...
6. A fine sermonA man finally goes with his wife to church. The man was so impressed with the preacher’s sermon he stopped on the way out to shake his hand. «Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a DAMNED fine sermon.» The preacher says «Why thank you sir, but we don’t used profanity in the house of the ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова nastyNasty — противный, мерзкий, неприятный Перевод слова Nasty story — непристойный анекдот nasty little house — скверный маленький домишко nasty wound — неприятная рана What’s that Nasty smell? Что это за противный запах? He is Nasty to everyone. Он со всеми ведет себя как свинья. This milk must be bad, it’s giving off a Nasty ... Читать далее...
8. The RabbiThere is a story about a popular young rabbi, who on Sabbath eve announces to the congregation that he will not renew his contract and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush. No one wants him to leave. Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands up ... Читать далее...
9. The definition of sexHillary and Chelsea were having a deep dish heart to heart talk about Chelsea’s college experiences. Hillary: So have you found dating to be fullflling experience? Chelsea: It’s okay..but i don’t like how the boys sometimes act like real sex hounds. Hillary: Well, uh, have you, uh, actually had sex? Chelsea: Well Mom, no, not ... Читать далее...
10. Change my mindThe church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, «I give ten dollars.» Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. «I give a thousand dollars!» The minister said, «Lord, hit him again!»...
11. The Yuppette had risen to executive levelThe Yuppette had risen to executive level in the company in no time at all. Hearing rumors about her, the husband confronted his wife and accused her of sleeping with all of the top level managers. «Now that’s entirely false.» she cried. «I took the easy route and slept with anyone who mattered at least ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод слова beltBelt — пояс, ремень Перевод слова To loosen one’s belt — ослабить ремень to undo one’s belt — расстегнуть ремень belt of ice — зона льдов Fasten your seat Belt. Пристегните ремни. He holds the black Belt. Он — обладатель черного пояса. Were you wearing a seat Belt? Вы были пристегнуты ремнями безопасности? Примеры из ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова ministerMinister — министр, священник Перевод слова Ex-minister — бывший министр, экс-министр the Minister of Finance — министр финансов forceful minister — влиятельный министр The Minister pronounced them man and wife. Священник объявил их мужем и женой. He always has access to the Prime Minister. У него всегда есть доступ к премьер-министру. The Minister said, «Let ... Читать далее...
14. I’m at the wrong bankLetterman’s Top Ten Signs You’re Doing Business With The Wrong Bank 10. When you make a deposit, tellers high-five each other. 9. After you get a free toaster, bank president shows up at your house begging for toast. 8. Your monthly statements are handwritten, in crayon. 7. When you want to make a withdrawal, clerks ... Читать далее...
15. It’s in the BibleA man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, «You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.» The husband said, » You are in charge of cooking around here and ... Читать далее...
16. Sex on SabbathA man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the priest says, «My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы come down hard on[come down hard on] {v.}, {informal} 1. To scold or punish strongly. The principal came down hard on the boys for breaking the window. 2. To oppose strongly. The minister in his sermon came down hard on drinking....
18. A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sinA man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the priest says, » My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that ... Читать далее...
19. It is written in the Bible!There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel and offered hat check girl to come up to his room for dinner. After a while he started advancing on her when she stopped him and reminded him he was a holy man. «It’s O. K.,» he replied, «it’s written in ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод идиомы take someone or something wrong / get someone or something wrong, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: take someone or something wrong / get someone or something wrong Перевод: понять кого-либо или что-либо неправильно Пример: The man took what I said wrong and became very angry. Этот человек не правильно меня понял и очень разозлился....
21. Значение идиомы under one’s belt[under one’s belt] {adv. phr.}, {informal} 1. In your stomach;eaten; or absorbed. Once he had a good meal under his belt, the manloosened his tie and fell asleep. Jones is talkative when he has afew drinks under his belt. 2. In your experience, memory orpossession; learned or gotten successfully; gained by effort andskill. Jim has ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод идиомы in the wrong place at the wrong time, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: in the wrong place at the wrong time Перевод: в неправильное время в неправильном месте Пример: The man was in the wrong place at the wrong time when the car hit him. Мужчина оказался в неправильное время в неправильном месте, когда его сбила машина....
23. A preacher was completing a temperance sermonA preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, «If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.» With even greater emphasis he said, «And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.» ... Читать далее...
24. The HatAn elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of the vestibule. When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы go wrong[go wrong] {v. phr.} 1. To fail; go out of order. Something wentwrong with our car and we stalled on the road. 2. To sink into animmoral or criminal existence. In a large city many young people gowrong every year....
26. Moving Out of a Home[A knock on door.] Andre: Hello. Is anyone here? Ellie: Yes, can I help you? Andre: I saw your door open and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. Did you just Move in? Ellie: No, I’m Moving out. As you can see, I’m doing Last-minute packing. I think I’ve used up 10 ... Читать далее...
27. A definition of GodA little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: «God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.» To which the child responded, «Well, ... Читать далее...
28. By definitionA young Army 1st Lt. is in the bathroom (head) releaving himself at the urinal, when a young boy walks in. The boy, seeing the young Lt.’s green uniform asks him if he was in the Army. The Lt. smiles and say’s, «Why yes I am…you wanna wear my hat?» The boy nods and the ... Читать далее...
29. A Lutheran minister is driving downA Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he’s stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, «Sir, have you been drinking?» And the minister says, «Just water.» The ... Читать далее...
30. Definition of ProgrammerProgrammer: A person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn out, after innumberable poundings, an infinite series of incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague assumptions based on debatable figures from inconclusive documents and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of dubious reliability and ... Читать далее...
31. In a small Southern town there was a nativity sceneIn a small Southern town there was a nativity scene that indicated great skill and talent in its creation. One small feature bothered me though. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a «Quik Stop» on the edge of town, I ... Читать далее...
32. Definition of Outdoor BarbecuingDefinition of Outdoor Barbecuing ——————————— It’s the only type of cooking a «real» man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion. (1) The woman goes to the store. (2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat ... Читать далее...
33. What’s the definition of the perfect woman?Ok, I’m going to get a lot of hate mail for this one… What’s the definition of the perfect woman? She’s three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth, and her head is flat so you can put a can on it. The sports model has pull back ears and her teeth fold ... Читать далее...
34. The definition of a phallic symbolThis girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks «Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says «you’re kidding..» Girl says «no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???» Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says «You see? This is a failic symbol!» Girl says «Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller»...
35. Worries while flyingTwo statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод слова southSouth — юг, южный Перевод слова In the south — на юге towards the south — к югу to ship goods to South Africa — перевозить товары в Южную Африку Turn South onto Elm Street. Поверните на юг, на улицу Вязов. Most of the birds had already flown South. Большинство птиц уже улетело на юг. ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод идиомы under one’s belt, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: under one’s belt Перевод: в прошлом, за плечами (об опыте, воспоминаниях, и т. п.; часто используется в выражении Have under one’s belt) Пример: When my friend has more experience as a cook under his belt he will begin to look for a job. Когда у моего друга за плечами будет больше опыта приготовления пищи, ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы below the belt[below the belt] {adv. phr.} 1. In the stomach; lower than is legal in boxing. He struck the other boy below the belt. 2. {informal} In an unfair or cowardly way; against the rules of sportsmanship or justice; unsportingly; wrongly. It was hitting below the belt for Mr. Jones’s rival to tell people about a ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод идиомы get up on the wrong side of the bed, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: get up on the wrong side of the bed Идиома: get up on the wrong side of the bed Перевод: встать не с той ноги, быть в плохом настроении Пример: My friend got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and will not talk to anyone. Мой друг встал сегодня не ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы search one’s heart[search one’s heart] or [search one’s soul] {v. phr.}, {formal} Tostudy your reasons and acts; try to discover if you have been fair andhonest. The teacher searched his heart trying to decide if he hadbeen unfair in failing Tom. — [heart-searching] or [soul-searching]{n.} or {adj.} After much heart-searching, Jean told Beth she wassorry for the ... Читать далее...