Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion

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1. Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. “To remove that vibrator,” said the doctor, “I’m going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation.” “I don’t think I can afford that,” said Sally. “Could you just replace the batteries?”...
2. Little Johnny was in class again Little Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone “Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?” Meg puts up her hand.”The sky is definitely blue.” “Thats not bad, Meg,” says the teacher, “but the sky can be grey or red.” Young Sally tried :”The grass is definitely green.” “Good try […]...
3. Little Johnny was in his math’s class one day Little Johnny was in his math’s class one day when the teacher singled him out. “If I gave you $20,” the teacher began,” and you gave $5 to Mary, $5 to Sally and $5 to Susan, what would you have?” “An orgy,” Johnny answered....
4. Exercising at the Gym Jae: Hi, are you done with this Weight machine? Sally: Yeah, I am. I was just Trying it out. I think I must be doing something wrong. My Muscles are Aching already. Jae: Maybe I can help. I’ve been working out on these machines for a few months, so I’m pretty used to them. Sally: […]...
5. Перевод слова adventure Adventure – приключение Перевод слова Adventure film – приключенческий фильм dangerous adventure – опасное приключение in search of adventure – в поисках приключений I Adventured out of the house. Я рискнул выйти на улицу. Along the way he had a great many Adventures. В пути с ним произошло множество приключений. They were looking for Adventure. […]...
6. Mr. Schwatrz goes to meet his new son-in-law to be Mr. Schwatrz goes to meet his new son-in-law to be, Sol. He says to Sol (who is very religious), “So nu, tell me Sol, my boy, what do you do? “I study the Torah,” he replies. “But Sol, you are going to marry my daughter, how are going to feed and house her?” “No problem,” […]...
7. Discussing Social Class Hector: Can you believe James? All evening, he tried to tell me how this country would be better if we had no Social classes. He’s out of his mind. Sophia: He was just trying To get a rise out of you. We all know that the two of you don’t See eye to eye. Hector: […]...
8. Two Kentucky hillbillies happened to meet in town Two Kentucky hillbillies happened to meet in town. “How’re thangs with y’all, Pete?” one asked. “Not bad atall,” Pete replied. “My old woman ain’t talkin’ to me thiseyer week…and I ain’t in no mood to interrupt her.”...
9. High School Reunion When I got home from work, I opened my mail. The letter Turned out to be a bombshell. I Held in my hand an invitation to my 10-year High school reunion. It was a shock because I couldn’t believe it had been 10 years. The first thing I did was to call my Oldest and […]...
10. Meet Temar Boggs, rescuer of a kidnapped little girl Temar Boggs is a 15-year-old student who lives in Lancaster, Pa. He loves playing sports, hanging out with friends, skateboarding and biking. Add “being a hero” to the list. Temar was having an average summer day on July 11: he helped a neighbor move her couch, and then settled in to hang out with some […]...
11. One day the teacher decides to play an animal game One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?” Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a […]...
12. A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them. “What’s your name?” she asks the first. To her surprise, the dog answers “My name’s Huey and I’m having a great day going in and out of puddles.” She goes up to the second dog and asks “What’s your name?” The […]...
13. A Movie Review Sally: Did you see the new movie, The McQuillan Story? I’m writing a Movie review for the school paper. Marcus: I went to the Premiere last week. What did you think of it? Sally: I liked it. I thought it was Entertaining, although it wasn’t Groundbreaking, by any means. Marcus: You thought it was entertaining? […]...
14. Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going? Dog: Doin alright. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How’s he treat you? […]...
15. Making Changes to a Hotel Reservation Reservation agent: Hello, Milton Hotel Reservations. How may I assist you? Sally: Hi, I’m calling to make some changes to an Existing reservation. Reservation agent: Certainly. Do you have the Reservation number? Sally: Sure, it’s 234678. Reservation agent: That’s a reservation for Sally Menkel. Is that right? Sally: Yes, that’s right. I’d like to change […]...
16. Making a Medical Diagnosis Terrell: Where have you been? Sally: At the hospital, again. My doctor is putting me through another Battery of tests. Terrell: She still hasn’t been able To zero in on the cause of your pain and Make a diagnosis? Sally: No, she hasn’t. Part of the problem is that my Symptoms are Intermittent, and they […]...
17. Two young girls were talking about their sex lives Two young girls were talking about their sex lives when the first girl says, “Oh my god! , it was really great, but I was Sooo scared after his rubber broke. I didn’t get a good night’s sleep for a week.” “What happened.” Says her intrigued friend. “I didn’t know what I was going to […]...
18. Watching Daytime Talk Shows Sally: Why are wasting your time on your Day off watching these Daytime talk shows? Jerry: I think they’re entertaining. Sally: You’ve got to be kidding. The only people who are Booked as guests on those shows are Losers or Exhibitionists who want Attention. Jerry: No, they’re not. These shows are all about Human drama […]...
19. Наш класс/ Our Class На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Our Class Наш класс My name is Marianna. I am 13 years old. I study in a secondary school at the 7th grade. We have a friendly and united class. There are 26 pupils in our class and I am in good relations with almost all of them. […]...
20. Fun on first day of class This is for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you do any of these things on the first day of class or for that matter, on any day of class. 1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, “Quite right, old bean!” 2. Wear […]...
21. Just cut your hair first A young man comes home and says “Dad, just got my driver’s license and would like to use the family car.” Father replies, :”O. K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months […]...
22. Having Trouble Sleeping Luis: So, how are the Newlyweds doing? Stevie: Oh, we’re great. I’m just a little tired. Luis: Well, that Goes with the territory, right? Stevie: No, that’s not what I mean. Patrick has been keeping me up with his Snoring. Luis: Oh, that’s a Bummer. Stevie: Yeah, it really is. I’m usually Awakened soon after […]...
23. Who Pays? David: Hey, Sally. Can I run something by you? Sally: Sure, what’s up? David: Well, A friend of a friend Wanted some help with her Taxes and we agreed that we would talk about it Over dinner. At the end of the night, when the Check came, she expected me to pay! It was really […]...
24. In the Sex Ed class the teacher says In the Sex Ed class the teacher says, “All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex.” The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, “Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?” Johnny […]...
25. Biology Class In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (FRESHMAN) raised her hand and asked, “If I understand, you’re saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar in male semen?” “That’s correct”, responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand […]...
26. One day in class the teacher One day in class the teacher has sex education. On the black board she draws a penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is. In the back of the room, Dirty Johnny stands and says “That’s a penis, and my father has two of them”. The teacher looks surprised and […]...
27. Little girl walks into the bathroom A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks “What’s that?” Her sister replies “That is my possum, sis!” The young girl replies “Oh, OK” The next day she sees her mother get out of the […]...
28. Meet the tireless entrepreneur who squatted at AOL For two months last fall, Eric Simons secretly took up residence inside the Internet giant’s Palo Alto, Calif., campus, eating free food, enjoying gym access, and building a startup in the process. It was 6 a. m. when Eric Simons was jolted awake by the yelling. After working until 4 a. m, the 19-year-old entrepreneur […]...
29. While attending a spelling session in school one day While attending a spelling session in school one day, The teacher asked if anyone could spell the word DUMB? Darla raises her hand and says “I can, I can” The teacher replies, “OK, go ahead Darla…” Darla replies…”D-U-M-B” The teacher replies, “very good”, and “can you use that word in a sentence?” Darla replies, “Sure, […]...
30. At the first session of a conversion class At the first session of a conversion class the minister conducting the class asked, “What must we do before we can expect forgiveness from sin?” After a long silence, one of the men in attendance raised his hand and said: “Sin?”...
31. Some very common traits in two drunks A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s […]...
32. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Новый ученик в классе (A New Pupil In The Class)” По-английски Перевод на русский Adam: Hi, Kate. How are you? Адам: Привет, Кейт. Как ты? Kate: Hi, Adam. I’m fine, thank you. And you? Кейт: Привет, Адам. Все хорошо, спасибо. А ты? Adam: I’m very well. In fact, I wanted to tell you about recent changes in my class. Адам: Я тоже хорошо. Кстати, я […]...
33. A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s […]...
34. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Your work is absolutely first-class” Greg Грег Do come in and sit down. How are you? Заходите, пожалуйста, и присаживайтесь. Как у вас дела? Heather Хезер I’m fine, thanks. Have you had a chance to look at my proposal? Все хорошо, спасибо. Вы уже рассмотрели мое предложение? Greg Грег Yes, I have, that’s what I mainly want to talk about. […]...
35. A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure is a mental state, and that many people overlook the things they already have. He says, “A man who has developed a true sense of appreciation can enjoy a good bowel movement as much as having sexual intercourse.” One student stands up and says, “Professor, […]...
36. The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game, she will describe an object and the students will tell her what she had described. Teacher: “The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem.” Timmy: ” I know what it is, it’s an apple.” Teacher: “That’s right, I like the way […]...
37. Tommy goes into a confessional box and says Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, “Bless me father for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.” The Priest says, “Is that you, Tommy? Tommy says “Yes father, it’s me.” The Priest says “Who was the woman you were with?” Tommy says “I cannot tell you, father, because I don’t […]...
38. A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched the man with an erect penis. The professor commented, “Oh, no, I wanted it the other way.” She replied, “What other […]...
39. Значение идиомы on one’s bad side [on one’s bad side] or [on the bad side of one] {adj. phr.},{informal} Not liked by someone; not friendly with a person. Sally’s boyfriend got on Father’s bad side by keeping Sally out toolate after the dance. Contrast: ON ONE’S GOOD SIDE....
40. A Letter of a Class mistress – Письмо классного руководителя I`m a teacher. I teach children and I like it. But at the same time I`m a class mistress. There are 25 pupils in my class, 25 children. They are so different these boys and girls; they have different appearance, tastes, hobbies… Sometimes they are too naughty, sometimes — too selfish and stubborn. But at […]...