Stuck in a plane

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1. Six people were on a planeSix people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3 children. The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes. The doctor yells out, » Save the children» The lawyer yells out «FUCK THE CHILDREN!» The priest yells out » ... Читать далее...
2. A photographer from a well known national magazineA photographer from a well known national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and ... Читать далее...
3. Blind man and guide dog kicked off plane; passengers follow in supportUsually airline passengers side with flight attendants when it comes to safety, but in the case of a US Airways flight Wednesday night, passengers rallied around a blind man and his guide dog and disembarked en masse. All 35 passengers on US Airways Flight 4384 walked off the plane after Albert Rizzi, a blind man ... Читать далее...
4. Jump out of the planeAn Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says » We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one ... Читать далее...
5. There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the PopeThere was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death’s door, and said to her papal neighbour. ‘Father, surely you can do something about this…’ To which the Pope replied, ... Читать далее...
6. Flying in the planeSue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, «No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.» The years ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова planePlane — плоскость; самолет Перевод слова Axis plane — плоскость симметрии plane of projection — плоскость проекции to fly a plane — управлять самолетом I’m late for the Plane. Я опоздал на самолет. The superstitious man is on the same Plane as the savage. Суеверный человек находится на той же ступени развития, что и первобытный ... Читать далее...
8. Chinese learned thisTime sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chiese lands. Top Ten Things The Chinese Have Learned By Examining Our ... Читать далее...
9. Chinese plane crashTime sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands. In a heroic dogfight, fought over international waters off the ... Читать далее...
10. Three guys are in a plane, lost in fogThree guys are in a plane, lost in fog, and they don’t know where they are. The first guy says «I’ll find out» and puts his arm out the plane, then brings it back in and says «We’re just over Paris» «How do you know» ask the others «Well I’ve just felt the top of ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы beat the bushes[beat the bushes] also [beat the brush] {v. phr.}, {informal} To try very hard to find or get something. The mayor was beating the bushes for funds to build the playground. Contrast: BEAT ABOUT THE BUSH or BEAT AROUND THE BUSH....
12. Landing at a hidden military baseYou’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as «Area 51?» Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their «secret» base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The ... Читать далее...
13. George W. Bush was passing through an airplane terminalGeorge W. Bush was passing through an airplane terminal and he noticed an old man in a long white robe, with a long white beard, long white hair and carrying two stone tablets in his arms. He approached the man and asked, «Aren’t you Moses?» But the man wouldn’t listen to him and continued walking. ... Читать далее...
14. Pilot to towerPilot to tower. . . pilot to tower. . . I am 300 miles from land. . . 600 feet over water. . . and running out of fuel. . . please instruct! Tower to pilot. . . tower to pilot. . . repeat after me: «Our Father, which art in heaven. . .»...
15. Bush fans v. Kerry fansThere’s a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans. Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy — Johnny. The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to ... Читать далее...
16. Stuck orgasmA guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed. They’re having a great time. She was on top when suddenly she had an epileptic seizure — she was shaking and foaming at the mouth. Our uninformed male thought this ... Читать далее...
17. Talking on a planeThe following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual event that took place during a flight. As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. «Coming up on the right, you can ... Читать далее...
18. Three men die in a plane crash and are waitingThree men die in a plane crash and are waiting to enter heaven. St. Peter asks the first man, «What did you do on Earth?» Man #1: I was a doctor. St. P.: Go right through those pearly gates. St. P.: And what did you do on Earth? Man #2: I was a school teacher. ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова bushBush — куст Перевод слова Bush of hair — копна волос flourishing bush — цветущий куст righteous bush — марихуана The Bush was transplanted to a different part of the garden. Куст пересадили в другую часть сада. Into that Bush pop he goes. И внезапно он скрылся в кустах. He squatted behind the Bush to ... Читать далее...
20. A closer callThe Pilots One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both ... Читать далее...
21. Thirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came onThirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came on, indicating to the flight attendants that breakfast could be served. One of the passengers, upset because he was awakened, growled, «Who turned on the fucking lights!» «Oh, no sir,» the nearest flight attendant replied. «Those are the breakfast lights. You slept through the ‘fucking ... Читать далее...
22. A plane was taking off from Kennedy AirportA plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, «Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth ... Читать далее...
23. Значение идиомы peel off[peel off] {v.} To dive away from a group of airplanes in a flightformation; bring one plane down from a group. As the group nearedthe home base, pilot after pilot peeled off for a landing....
24. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopersA young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. «So, did you ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова seniorSenior — старший, старейший, пожилой Перевод слова The senior class — последний год обучения senior common room — профессорская senior man — пожилой человек, She is five years my Senior. Она старше меня на пять лет. All Senior management were told to leave. Все высшее руководство попросили уйти. She was his Senior in rank. Она ... Читать далее...
26. Bush as a post turtleWhile suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90 year old man (he got his hand caught in a gate while working his cattle)a doctor and the old man were discussing Bush’s health care reform ideas. The old man said «Well, ya know, old Bush is a post turtle». So, not knowing what he ... Читать далее...
27. Биография Джорджа Буша на английском языке. Biography of George BushGeorge W. Bush was the 43rd President of the United States. He was sworn into office on January 20, 2001, re-elected on November 2, 2004, and sworn in for a second term on January 20, 2005. Before his Presidency, he served for 6 years as Governor of the State of Texas. President Bush was born ... Читать далее...
28. Перевод слова pilotPilot — летчик, пилот, штурман; экспериментальный Перевод слова Airline pilot — летчик гражданской авиации fighter pilot — летчик-истребитель pilot lot — пробная партия pilot system — экспериментальная версия системы The Pilot gave the order to bomb up. Пилот отдал приказ загружать бомбы. The Pilot has logged 1200 flying hours. На счету этого пилота 1200 летных ... Читать далее...
29. Visiting a MuseumI wanted to visit the National Museum, but when I arrived, it was closed. Rudy: Can you tell me the Hours of operation for the Museum? Guard: It’s open from 10 a. m. to 5 p. m., Monday through Saturday. It’s closed on Sunday. Rudy: Thanks. I’ll be back tomorrow. —— The next day, I ... Читать далее...
30. Christopher Columbus was the best deal maker in historyChristopher Columbus was the best deal maker in history. He left not knowing where he was going, and upon arriving, not knowing where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on borrowed money....
31. Перевод слова guardGuard — охрана, защита Перевод слова Guard dog — караульная собака soldier on guard at the door — боец, стоящий на страже у дверей the guard at the door — часовой у двери frontier guard — пограничник The Guard dog came for me. Сторожевая собака бросилась ко мне. The Guard checked our passes. Охранник проверил ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы on guard[on guard] {adj. phr.} Watchful; watching. The police warnedpeople to he on guard for pickpockets during the Christmas rush. Two men are on guard at the door. Contrast: OFF GUARD....
33. Значение идиомы take over[take over] {v.} 1a. To take control or possession of. Heexpects to take over the business when his father retires. 1b. Totake charge or responsibility. The airplane pilot fainted and hisco-pilot had to take over. 2. To borrow, imitate, or adopt. TheJapanese have taken over many European ways of life....
34. Travelling by Plane — Путешествие на самолетеNo wonder that one of the latest means of travelling is travelling by plane. Nowadays people mostly travel by air. It combines both comfort and speed and you will reach the place of destination very quickly. No doubt, travelling by air is the most convenient and comfortable means of travelling. But if you are airsick ... Читать далее...
35. Poor batman!A nun is walking down the street, when suddenly a punk jumps out of the bushes and hits her over the head, proceeds to kick her in the groin and break her nose with a massive left hook. As the nun is lying bleeding on the floor, the guy looks down and says: You’re getting ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы off guard[off guard] {adj.} In a careless attitude; not alert to comingdanger; not watching. In the second that the boxer was off guard, his opponent landed a knockout punch. Timmy s question caught Jeanoff guard, and she told him the secret before she knew it. Contrast:ON GUARD....
37. Royalty and WAt Heathrow Airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод идиомы off guard, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: off guard Перевод: быть недостаточно бдительным, быть застигнутым врасплох Пример: It caught me off guard when my friend suddenly asked me to lend her some money. Когда моя подруга попросила меня одолжить ей денег, я был застигнут врасплох....
39. I have a questionA father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, «How does this boat float? The father replied, «Don’t rightly know son.» A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, «How do fish ... Читать далее...
40. Today we are niggersBlack And His Son A black man and his son are on a plane heading home back to Africa. During the plane flight theres a problem, the plane is overweight. On the overhead an annoucement comes on. «We are having overweight problems so we are going to have to throw some people off of the ... Читать далее...