Stop being late to work

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1. Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morningTom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went ... Читать далее...
2. The pretty secretary came in late for work the third dayThe pretty secretary came in late for work the third day in a row. The boss called her into his office and said, «Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that’s over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here. The boss pressed on, ... Читать далее...
3. One day there was an indian chief who was constipatedOne day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says «Big Chief, no shit». the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chief should be fine tomorrow. The warrior went back to the chief and ... Читать далее...
4. A young bloke has started work on a propertyA young bloke has started work on a property, and the boss sends him up the back paddocks to do some fencing work, but come evening he’s half an hour late. The boss gets on the CB radio to check if he’s all right. «I’ve got a problem, Boss. I’m stuck ‘ere. I’ve hit a ... Читать далее...
5. Mrs. Ogden went to her doctor and saidMrs. Ogden went to her doctor and said «Please give me a prescription for the Pill.» «I don’t think you need the Pill at your age.» «It relaxes me.» «But you know the ‘purpose’ of the Pill. It’s not for relaxing,» exclaimed the physician. «I know,» said Mrs Ogden, «but my daughter dates, and every ... Читать далее...
6. Jones came into the office an hour late for the third timeJones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. «What’s the story this time, Jones?» he asked sarcastically. «Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.» Jones sighed, «Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the ... Читать далее...
7. Значение идиомы keep late hours[keep late hours] {v. phr.} To go to bed late; habitually stay up late. «If you always keep such late hours, your healthmight suffer,» Tom’s doctor said....
8. Learning Work Rules and RoutinesI was happy to finally get a job, but I wasn’t ready for a first day of work like this one. … Boss: This is your first day and my job is To give you the rundown on how we do things around here. This is a Well-oiled machine. Everybody has To pull his or ... Читать далее...
9. Stop It Before It Is Too LateWhat makes young people smoke, drink, take drugs or lead a dissolute life? As a rule they don’t think about the risks they run and the terrible consequences of such a dissolute life. But they’d better stop it before it is too late. Smoking is practiced by more than 1 billion people including women, teenagers ... Читать далее...
10. Перевод сленгового выражения work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off Сленговое выражение: work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off груб. Перевод: усердно трудиться, много работать Пример: You’ve been working your ass off ... Читать далее...
11. Never say it at workTWELVE THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR AN EMPLOYEE TELL HIS/HER BOSS 1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is always refreshing. 2. If it’s really a «rush job,» run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it’s ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод слова lateLate — поздно, запоздавший, недавний, прежний Перевод слова The crops are late this year — урожай в этом году поздний my late illness — моя недавняя болезнь the late Government — прежнее правительство a year later — спустя год Can you stay Late? Вы можете задержаться? Mind you’re not Late. Смотрите, не опоздайте. ‘Too Late!’ ... Читать далее...
13. This pill allows you to flyA man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if ... Читать далее...
14. A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late oneA cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one afternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for the horse as the Indians can always use another pony. The dog’s fate is some what tenuous but it is certain that the cowboy will be burned at the stake the following sunrise. That ... Читать далее...
15. How To Give Your Cat a Pill1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbows, just as if you were giving a baby a bottle. Coo confidently, «That’s a nice kitty.» Drop pill into its mouth. 2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa. 3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold ... Читать далее...
16. A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctorA woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years. They had the following conversation: Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water. Woman: Ok. Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water. Woman: Ok. Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова pillPill — таблетка Перевод слова Gilded pill — подслащенная пилюля to be on the pill — принимать противозачаточные таблетки bitter pill to swallow — горькая пилюля, тягостная необходимость headache pill — пилюля от головной боли sugarcoated pill — таблетка, покрытая сладкой оболочкой I took a Pill to relieve my headache. Я принял таблетку, чтобы унять ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы better late than never[better late than never] It is better to come or do something late than never. The firemen didn’t arrive at the house until it was half burned, but it was better late than never. Grandfather is learning to drive a car. «Better late than never,» he says. Compare: HALF A LOAF IS BETTER THAN NONE....
19. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard VIAppear to Work Late. Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss’ room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e. ... Читать далее...
20. Military work rules1. Sickness: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept the Medical Officer’s statement as proof of illness as we believe that if you are able to go on sick parade, you are able to come to work. 2. Leave of Absence for an Operation: We are no longer allowing this practice. We ... Читать далее...
21. A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breastsA man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, «What are you doing?» She replies, «I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old.» The husband retorts, «Well, what did he say about your 50 year ... Читать далее...
22. A man takes his 10 year old daughter to the doctorA man takes his 10 year old daughter to the doctor. He says «Doctor, I want to put her on the pill.» The Doctor says «Why?!? Is she sexually active?» The guy says «Nah, she just lies there like her mother.» Sent by soh...
23. Reasons to stay at work all night1. Act out your version of a company takeover. 2. Find a way to change everyone’s password to «chrysanthemum». 3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings. Keep going until you see a small woodland creature. 4. Sneaking in the boss’s desk could land you an unexpected promotion. 5. Draw ... Читать далее...
24. Different Work StylesBefore I started my new job, I didn’t know that I would be working so closely with another employee of the company. I was used to a lot of Autonomy in my last job, and I have always been Self-directed. I didn’t need Close supervision and the boss never had to worry about me Slacking ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы stay up late[stay up late] {v. phr.} To not go to bed until very late. Peterhas to stay up late these days as he is preparing for hiscomprehensive exams. See: BURN THE MIDNIGHT OIL....
26. The WORK virusThere is a new virus. The code name is WORK. If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail, or from anyone else, do not touch it under any circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely. If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, take five friends and ... Читать далее...
27. Bosses versus workersWhen I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don’t do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that ... Читать далее...
28. A woman accompanied her husband to the doctors officeA woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, «If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die». 1.Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood. 2.At lunch time, make him a warm, ... Читать далее...
29. Little Johnny was late for schoolLittle Johnny was late for school. When he finally got there his teacher asked, «Why are you late little Johnny?» Johnny replied, «My grandpa got burnt, Miss.» The teacher replied, «I hope it wasn’t too bad.» Then little Johnny said, «Don’t worry, the crematorium doesn’t muck around!»...
30. Time Off from WorkMy buddy from college, Jack, was getting married and our friend Rob was planning a Bachelor party for him in Vegas. It was going to be the Last weekend of the month and I wanted to go. The trouble was, I was scheduled to work that weekend. I needed to get the Time off from ... Читать далее...
31. A fellow decides to take off early from workA fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he ... Читать далее...
32. Giving Birth in a HospitalIt was 2 o’clock in the morning when my wife woke me up. She is eight-and-a-half months Pregnant and she told me that her Water had broken. She said that she was having Contractions and she was sure that she was In labor. I Paged our doctor and drove to the hospital. When we arrived, ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы of late[of late] {adv. phr.}, {formal} In the recent past; not long ago; ashort time ago; lately; recently. There have been too many highschool dropouts of late....
34. Reasons to allow drinking at workThe below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol. 1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы give the ax[give the ax] {v. phr.}, {colloquial} 1. Abruptly to finish arelationship. She gave me the ax last night. 2. To fire anemployee in a curt manner. His boss gave John the ax last Friday....
36. The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be bossThe external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss. The brain said, «I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks.» The hands said, «I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person.» The legs declared, «I shuld be boss since I carry the body and ... Читать далее...
37. PneumoniaA man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn’t help. On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn’t do any good. On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы busy work[busy work] {n.} Work that is done not to do or finish anything important, but just to keep busy. When the teacher finished all she had to say it was still a half hour before school was over. So she gave the class a test for busy work....
39. Being Late for an EventEric: Let’s Get a move on or we’ll be late – again! Carmen: Hold your horses. I’m On the verge of being ready. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know. Eric: A day? I’d Settle for a week. Why is it that every time we have someplace to be you’re always Running late? Carmen: ... Читать далее...
40. Working Late at the OfficeI was so glad it was Friday afternoon. I’ve been thinking-TGIF-all day. I was On my way out of the office when I saw Nick sitting at his desk. Even though the office was nearly empty, he didn’t look like he was ready to leave. In fact, he looked like he was still Swamped with ... Читать далее...