Short reindeer jokes

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1. Short Irish Jokes Q: Did you hear about the Irish abortion clinic? A: It has a 12 month waiting list. Q: What’s long & green & has a low I. Q.? A: A St. Patrick’s Day Parade Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day? A: Regular rocks are too heavy. Q: Why can’t you borrow […]...
2. Short Father Christmas What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? Santa Clues! Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck! What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow! What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? […]...
3. Short gender jokes A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more […]...
4. Short Christmas jokes What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve! How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day? Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve! What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month? The letter “D” ! What does Father Christmas suffer from if he […]...
5. Birds of a Feather There are a lot of animals on our planet. They can be wild and domestic. Wild animals are those animals who live in nature without people. Wolves, foxes, giraffes are wild animals. Domestic animals are animals who live with people, who are not really scary. People always call them “pets”. Cats, dogs, sheep are domestic […]...
6. New York Jokes New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney… – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
7. Перевод слова sunglasses Sunglasses – солнцезащитные очки, темные очки Перевод слова The Sunglasses conceal her eyes. Темные очки скрывали ее глаза. She was wearing Sunglasses and heavy makeup. Она носила темные очки и чрезмерный макияж. You’ll need Sunglasses that will cut out harmful UV rays from the sun. Вам понадобятся темные очки для фильтрации УФ-лучей солнца. Происхождение слова […]...
8. California Jokes California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Dumb California Laws Sunshine […]...
9. Значение идиомы ground [ground] See: BREAK GROUND, COMMON GROUND, COVER GROUND or COVERTHE GROUND, CUT THE GROUND FROM UNDER, EAR TO THE GROUND, FEET ON THEGROUND, GAIN GROUND, GET OFF THE GROUND, GIVE GROUND, HAPPY HUNTINGGROUND, HOLD ONE’S GROUND, LOSE GROUND, MIDDLE GROUND, RUN INTO THEGROUND, STAMPING GROUND, STAND ONE’S GROUND, FROM THE GROUND UP....
10. Irish Pub Jokes Murphy won the Irish Sweepstakes $100,000.00 and was on a long holiday in America. He went on a bus tour and traveled for hours and hours through desert country and oil fields. Murphy said, “Where are we now?” The guide said, “We’re in the great state of Texas.” “It’s a big place,” said Murphy. The […]...
11. Jokes about St. Patrick’s Day Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy “Jez, that look like Sean” to which Paddy replied “No Sean was taller than that” It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride […]...
12. Virginia Jokes Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix? – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Virginia: Please don’t confuse us […]...
13. Mixed football jokes A burglary was recently committed at West Ham’s ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet. The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to […]...
14. Russia Jokes What’s meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union? It’s when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party’s. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
15. Значение идиомы fall short [fall short] {v.} To fail to reach ; not succeed. Hisjump fell three inches short of the world record. The movie fellshort of expectations. Contrast: MEASURE UP....
16. Leprechaun Jokes Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total”, says the Genie. The Scottish guy says, “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s […]...
17. A man was looking for a cheap prostitute in a brothel A man was looking for a cheap prostitute in a brothel. He went up to the pimp, and asked him what he had. The pimp showed him a blonde whore for $50, but she was far too expensive. The pimp then showed him a brunette for $10, but she was also too expensive. Finally the […]...
18. Outdoor Sun Protection June: Wait! You forgot your Sun hat. Wally: I’m not wearing that hat. It looks ridiculous on me. June: It’ll protect you from the sun’s Rays. You’re too Fair to be Outdoors for long without Protection. You don’t want to get another Sunburn. Wally: I’m wearing Sunscreen. I’ll be fine. June: This ChapStick has an […]...
19. Jokes about Dumb Irishmen The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. […]...
20. Jokes of science 01 At the physics exam: ‘Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.’ Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games? A: The ‘wave’. The Stanford Linear Accelerator Center was known as SLAC, until the big earthquake, when it became known as SPLAC. SPLAC? Stanford Piecewise Linear Accelerator. A student recognizes […]...
21. Jokes about St. Patricks Day 2 McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. “S’cuse me,” said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. “What was that all […]...
22. Значение идиомы cover a lot of ground [cover a lot of ground] {v. phr.} To process a great deal of information and various facts. Professor Brown’s thorough lecture on asteroids covered a lot of ground today....
23. Enjoying the Outdoors My favorite Time of year is the summer. I like being Outdoors, doing Anything from Hiking to going to the Beach. One thing about working in an office all week is that I don’t get much Fresh air. With summer here, I plan to take Full advantage. Last week, I went to the beach with […]...
24. Florida Jokes Dumb Florida Laws Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just […]...
25. Q & A Iraqi War Jokes Q: What’s the national bird of Iraq? A: DUCK! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Q: What’s the fastest way to […]...
26. The results of statistics 1. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed 2. All polar bears are left-handed 3. If your car is stolen, there’s a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear 1. 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles 2. 80 percent of employed men wear spectacles 3. Work stuffs up your eyesight […]...
27. Перевод слова beach Beach – пляж, морской берег Перевод слова Beach gravel – береговой галечник sandy beach – песчаный пляж beach umbrella – пляжный зонт We walked along the Beach. Мы шли вдоль берега. We picnicked on the Beach. Мы устроили пикник на пляже. We spent the day at the Beach. Мы провели весь день на пляже. Интересные […]...
28. Alaskan tourism If you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public service announcement: In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear country. The bells warn away MOST bears (brown, black, etc.), but be careful because they don’t scare Grizzly Bears. Tourists are cautioned to […]...
29. Two doctors found themselves on the beach in Hawaii Two doctors found themselves on the beach in Hawaii. As a real bevy of bikini-clad females walked by, one said, “Look at the legs among that group.” “Sorry old chap.” replied the second doctor. “But I’m a chest man myself.”...
30. Atlanta Jokes Some quick thoughts… 1. Atlanta is comprised entirely of one way streets. The only way to get out of Downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina. 2. All directions start with, “Go down Peachtree…” and include the phrase, “When you see the Waffle House…” 3. Peachtree Street […]...
31. Перевод слова reach Reach – достигать, протягивать Перевод слова To reach forth one’s arms – простирать руки a tree reaches its boughs towards the light – дерево тянет ветви к свету to reach middle age – достичь среднего возраста to reach a conclusion – прийти к заключению There was no time for me to Reach for my gun. […]...
32. Jokes of science 02 The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist’s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. “Hmmm,” says the theorist, “That’s exactly where you’d expect to see that peak. Here’s the reason (long logical explanation follows).” In the middle of it, the experimentalist says “Wait a minute”, studies the chart for a second, and […]...
33. Japan Jokes The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for […]...
34. A Blind Mans Sport A Blind Mans Sport A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I am placed in the door and told when to jump” “My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go” “But how […]...
35. Значение идиомы stand one’s ground [stand one’s ground] also [hold one’s ground] {v. phr.} 1. To stayand fight instead of running away. The enemy attacked in greatnumbers but our men stood their ground. Compare: GAIN GROUND. Contrast: GIVE GROUND, LOSE GROUND. 2. To defend a belief orstatement; refuse to weaken when opposed; insist you are right. John’s friends said he […]...
36. Перевод слова wear Wear – носить, быть одетым Перевод слова To wear the brand of a traitor – носить клеймо предателя to wear a charm against evil spirits – носить амулет, защищающий от злых духов to wear a parachute – надевать парашют What size do you Wear? Какой размер вы носите? What should I Wear today? Что мне […]...
37. New FAA inspections With the number of airline disasters lately, the FAA now sends an inspector to the North Pole to check out Santa Claus’s sleigh before allowing him to fly on Christmas eve. The inspector arrives and checks the reindeer and they look good, he checks the harness and it looks okay, he checks the sleigh and […]...
38. A story with a morale A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. “Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper.” Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. “Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie.” Confused, […]...
39. Learn it by listening Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, “You see that Indian?” “Yeah,” says the other cowboy. “Look,” says the first one, “he’s listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction.” Just […]...
40. A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly. After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until reaches heavily into the ground with a hard knock over his shell. After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, jumps again, and knocks the […]...