German Jokes

Q: How does a German eat mussels

A: *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* … AUFMACHEN!!!

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Q: What’s the difference between a German and a shopping trolley?

A: A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.

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Why are there so many tree lined streets and leafy lanes in France?

Germans like to march in the shade.

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After much discussion as to where the capital of the new Germany should be – Bonn or Berlin – a compromise was struck: Paris.

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Belgium’s national motto:

Belgium: Gateway to France!

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Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?

A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.

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Q: What is the difference between the Dresden bombing and Germany’s best comedian?

A: Only the first one can make you smile.

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Q: Why was the Dresden bombing a mistake?

A: The RAF made a (H)ASH of it!

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Q: How many people fron Dresden can you fit in a mini?

A: About 25000 if you’ve got a shovel

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Heard about the new German-Chinese restaurant? The food is great, but an hour later, you’re hungry for power.

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Q: Have you heard about the new German microwave?

A: It’s got ten seats inside.

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Q: Why don’t Jewish cannibals like eating Germans?

A: They give them gas.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a German?

A: A Beaner-Schnitzel

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“Two Martinis, bitte.”

“Dry?”

“Nein, I said TWO!”

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Do you know why Germans build such high-quality products?

So they won’t have to go around being nice while they fix them.

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Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Gestapo

Gestapo who?

Ve Vill ask ze Questions!


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